Hey guys,
I was desperately searching for something challenging to write and I stumbled upon ?White Nights? by Dostoevsky and please not ?Saawariya?, even though I liked it but the setting was too fake and artificial, I only liked ranbeer and sonam and the songs of course. I have read White Nights nearly a year ago, and its beautiful, really beautiful, the love, passion, and pain everything is so alive and picturesque?
I saw the making of Sawaariya and I remember listening to Sanjay Leela Bhansali?s words, he said ?I read many things, many books, many stories of which white nights was also one, after that I read many things but the image of the woman standing and waiting for her lover didn?t leave my memory?? according to me that was the true essence of the story?
Both our inspirations seem to be same. My sister said ?Aaj kal koi bhi kisssi ka interaaz nahin karta?? I thought it was very true, but if you truly love somebody you do wait knowingly or unknowingly, there is a ray of hope alive within you till you die, I believe that!!!!
This is not a complete lift of ?White Nights?, it is very loosely inspired by it, but a different story altogether. I hope I will do justice with my own twists and turns!!!! Wait and read!!!
I hope you will enjoy it!!!!
Comments as usual are welcome!!!
ENJOY!!!!
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In The Moonlight… …
Some love stories, my love, are never meant to be completed?was something he finally came to terms with nearly a year later?it took him time, a lot of it to overcome the great barrier, but he had finally accepted that his love story was bound to remain incomplete?it was never meant to be?but HER memory remained etched in his mind forever?
As Jai Walia drove towards his destination, occasionally glancing at the landscape which seemed to be traveling along with him but in reality it was still as HER memory in his mind? he felt nostalgic, coming to the same place after a year?the familiar light blue sky, the familiar copper sun, the familiar ochre sand dunes, the familiar hot western dry wind, the familiar lazy camels strolling around, the familiar flat roofed houses, the familiar traditional women carrying earthen pots walking acres to find water, the familiar men with long moustaches and colored turbans? the familiar scent of the barren land? ?it was the familiar place where he had fallen in Love with Love herself? ? those four beautiful nights? the regret of loosing it will always live inside him but he smiled as he remembered her melodious voice reciting Lord Tennyson?s words?
?I hold it true, whatever befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
?Tis better to have loved and lost?
Than never to have loved at all??
He halted the car before his destination causing the dust to fly in the air?removing the shades he examined the medieval mud fort which was now completely renovated and restructured standing imposingly in a remote part of jaisalmer unwinding from the chaos of larger Indian cities?the surrounding desolate landscape enhanced its stark, austere beauty?he had fallen in love with it the first time he saw it? he had felt an uncanny attraction towards it?he entered his new endeavor ?The Heritage?, one of his biggest hotels? ?
He had come to Jaisalmer which was called the Golden city of India because the yellow sand gives a yellowish-golden touch to the city & its surrounding area, named after its founder Rawal Jaisal "Jaisalmer" which meant "The Hill Fort of Jaisal". There was an auction being held of a very old fort, he was very keen on buying it and converting it into a hotel, one of his very ambitious projects?
Jai entered it to find his appointed manager making last minute preparations? today was its inauguration, he climbed the many carpeted stairs which lead to the expansive terrace from where almost all of the golden Jaisalmer could be seen? ?the blazing hot sun didn?t effect him?he leaned against the guarded wall and looked ahead?his eyes fell on the familiar place where he had first seen HER? ?
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She applied kohl around her eyes? it took away the pain that only she saw because she cannot carry it with her... it concealed her beautiful puffy eyes, it concealed the pain they hid, it concealed what she didn't want people to know of? he found her kohl smudged eyes very beautiful...and she kept the tradition alive? ?she couldn?t let her black tears be shown? ?she tired her best to paste a plastic smile and act happy when her internal demons fought a long raging battle with each other? the bygone moments - moments of love, moments of togetherness were no longer in existence? ?the nights seemed so long?her Life a rigmarole? ? the mind stopped and the protective shell shattered?in her heart of hearts, she knew that she will meet him one day? He will come? ?come back to her? no amount of practical reasoning changed that?she knew He would come?He had to? ?
Covering her head with her multi-color dyed stroll she quietly sneaked out of her dungeon like house?while her step-sister was in a deep slumber and her stringent step-mother snored away? ?closing the door lightly she stealthily crossed the narrow lane? ? looking here and there she ran towards her destination? ?
The night was suffused with bright silvery moonlight? ?
Jai stood in the terrace of his recently purchased fort?he had won the auction? his was the highest bid?it would just take four days to get the official papers?another dream conquered?he dreamt big dreams and he lived them too?a new hotel, a new company, everyday a new challenge? his lonely life was not that much lonely?his dreams were his friends, his loneliness his companion?his eyes fell on the light coming from a distance?he remember the guide?s explanation?it was the Gadsisar Lake, excavated in 1367 by Rawal Gadsi Singh, a scenic rainwater lake surrounded by small temples and shrines? ?he went down?
He roamed around feeling unsleepy?it was a beautiful place?his peace was broken by the shrill scream of a woman? he hurried, chasing the direction of the shout? he witnessed a dark silhouette; a woman was running in his direction, her face covered by her stroll?he went near her, the dark shadow of the man behind her disappeared before he could catch him? he turned around to find himself drowning in the most gorgeous pair of eyes, her face was half-covered just exposing her eyes, they were filled with fear, the dark brown iris dilated and the light brown pupil constricted? she blinked her eyelids and left...the tinkling of her belled anklets reverberated through the amorphous membrane of darkness?he followed her?
She walked ahead, she walked behind, she walked around?her gorgeous eyes searching for something?or for someone?
?Aapko nahin lagta?aapko is waqt apne ghar par hona chihye?? Jai spoke up as he looked at her with ambiguous intent?he didn?t get an answer?
?Chaliye main aapko ghar chod deta hoon?? he again spoke up?
?Aapko takleef uthane ki koi zaroorat nahin?? he heard an extremely melodious stern voice from the other end?
?Aap please yahaan se chaliye?itni raat gaye yahaan aana theek nahin?? he insisted?
?Kahan na maine aapko taqleef uthane ki koi zaroorat nahin?samajh main nahin aata hain aapko?? she shouted?turning around in a huff?
Her multi-colored stroll which covered her face, slipped down by the slight force?her face became vibrant in the moonlight? her gorgeous eyes were wet?a single tear drop rested on her rosy right cheek?Jai kept looking at her, just kept looking at her?
Was she the incarnation of a goddess or an angle descended form heavens or the personification of mother earth or the shimmering moonlight hiding itself under the thick blanket of the night? she was like a delicate wild flower which had to be carefully nurtured and protected from the abstemious world?a pure white magnolia that was to be sighed over from a distance but never plucked?a divine pinkish lotus blossomed in a swamp?What was she? an enigma?a poet?s poetry?a painter?s art? an enchanting symphony?a mystery without a solution?a secret yet to be unearthed?a myth or a fact?an epiphany or a reality? ? Whatever she was?he fell in Love with her? ?
He felt something which he never even felt before?he had only one love story?struggling with the concept of Love?for the best part of his life?his mother died in child birth, and father too busy and so had a pedigree excuse to never love anyone and every other woman he ever come close to had been either too fake or scared off by his incomprehension of this thing every body called ?Love?? ? but today his heart beat raced as never before, his breath quickened as never before?he had never felt like this never before? ?coming out of his revive he managed to speak?
?Main?toh bas??
She bit her bottom lip?and looked at him with guilty eyes?
?Sorry?maine kuch zyadaa hi bol diya?? she siad?
?Its okay?par aap itni raat ko yahaan kya kar rahin hain??
?kissika interaaz??
?Kiska??
?Hain koi??
?Uss koi ka koi toh naam hoga??
?Aapka jaana zaroori nahin??
Bani climbed down the steps which lead to the water body?she looked around?it was as silent as the sea? ?
She came up and faced an astonished jai who was curiously watching her every move?
?Mujhe ab chalna chihiye?? banis aid wrapping her stroll?
?Main aapko chod deta hoon?? jai said?
?Main chali jaaungi, mera ghar paas main hi hain?? bani pressed her words?
?Main aapko mod tak toh chod hi sakta hoon??
?Aap nahin menge??
?Nahin?raat bhar yahi sochta rahunga ki aap ghar pahunch gayi ki nahin?agar aap chhati hain main aapke baare main sochun toh aap jaa sakti hain??
Bani let out a low laugh?
?Chaliye?? bani said as she led him from the front?
?Aap har roz yahaan aati hain?? jai asked as he kept on following her sonorous footsteps?
?Haan?? bani said unmindfully?
?Kyun??
?Kahaa na aapka jaana zaroori nahin??
?Acha mera naam jai hain aur aapka??
?Janna zaroori nahin??
?Par??
?Mera ghar aane wala hain?aap yahaan tak aaye?Thanks??
?Aapka ghar itna paas kyun hain??
?Kyun??
?Yeh safar jo khatam ho gaya??
Bani smiled?
?Bye?? jai said?
?Bye nahin kehte?bye kehne se phir milne ki umeed mar jaati hain?issiliye kahiye phir milte hain??
?Toh kal raat?aap phir milengi?? he asked sounding unsure?
Bani nodded her head in affirmative and left towards her house?
?Abhi toh aapka naam batadijiye?? jai said a bit loud?
Bani turned around, her long hair partially covering her face?
?Bani?? she said slowly?
?Bani?? he kept on repeating her name on his way back?
He couldn?t sleep the whole night?
Bani entered her quiet house, her step-sister was still in a deep sleep, her step-mother was still snoring?she went inside and lay down on the floor resting her head on her folded arms?something about the stranger attracted her?his eyes were penetrating?she as if he could peek into her heart?read her mind?as if he was looking into her soul through her eyes?she felt threatened?but his honest eyes left an impact?
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?Aap shayaad bohot der se baithe hain?? bani said as she walked in seeing jai sitting on the stoned steps in deep thoughts?
?Nahin?? he said blatantly lying?
?Really, ?she said sitting besides him?
?Ya?ek baat poochoon??
?Hmmm??
?Aap kiska interaaz karti hain?har roz??
?Umm??
?Hum dost hain na??
?Hmm??
?Toh phir aap bata sakti hain?I promise kissiko nahin bataunga??
Bani let out a small giggle?
?Pushkar?pichle 8 mahinon se main uska interaaz kar rahin hoon??
?Pushkar kaun hain??
?Hain koi?bohot khaas??
Pushkar was the paying guest in her house, her step-mother had rented the terrace room to him which was once hers when her father was alive?Bani was unlike the typical girl, having crushes, poring over secret love affairs of her friends, swooning over the latest movie heroes?she was never interested in such stuff?but after meeting Pushkar she was charmed for the first time in her life and tongue-tied in his presence?she had been approached by many of her college mates and she had refused but Pushkar had an unknown imprint over her?she often stood at the window?and Pushkar smiled at her whenever he left for his work?and her step-mother and step-sister were blissfully unaware of this budding romance? ?they secretly met near the lake every night?weeks passed by in a flash?and Pushkar was all set to leave her and go due to his work commitment?she had persuaded him to get married but he refused saying he needed time to financially settle down ?he left?but with a promise that he would one day come back to take her away?
Jai?s heart broke into a thousand pieces listening to the dreamy narrative of her past?
?Aur tumhe lagta hain woh aayega?? jai asked in a chocked voice?
?Haan?wadaa kiya hain usne mujhse?woh zaroor aayega?? bani said almost instantly?
?Wade tode bhi jaa sakte hain??
?Kuch wade nahin tode jaate??
?Waade tootne ke liye hi bante hain??
?Wade nibhaye bhi jaate hain??
?Bas kuch??
?Woh apna wadaa zaroor nibhayega??
?Tumhe lagta hain ki who aayega??
?Haan??
?Bani?yeh duniya itni achi nahin jitni tum isse samajh rahin ho??
?Shayaad, par duniya se mera koi wasta nahin??
?Pushkar issi duniya ka hain??
?Toh??
?Acha usne kabhi tumse baat ki in 8 mahino main?koi phone, koi chiti?kuch bhi??
Bani?s radiant face fell?
?Nahin??
?Jis insaan ne itne dinon main tumse baat karne ki koshish nahin ki?tumhe kay lagta hain woh wapas aayega??
?Woh zaroor aayega??
?Tumhe kaise itna yakeen hain ki woh aayega?? jai asked?bani smiled and looked into his eyes?
?Ussi tarah jis tarah aapko yakeen hain ki woh nahin aayega??
?Agar woh kabhi nahin ayaa toh??
?I hold it true, whatever befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
?Tis better to have loved and lost?
Than never to have loved at all?? she sang?
She left with the never-ending search in her eyes?with the eternal hope in her heart?
Jai broke down crying...a mere girl had reduced the all mighty Jai Walia to tears?he was never fated to be loved?but he swore that he would be a sincere, platonic true friend to her?
At this point he became lost in thought and he thought about how love can transcend beyond the boundaries of ordinary verbal communication? How those in love can sense the feelings of their loved one and even feel their needs? This kind of closeness was enviable?
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?Shayaad aaj tum pehle aagayi?? jai said as he walked towards her?he didn?t get a reply?
?Kya hua bani??
He heard a stifle?
?Bani?? he approached her hurriedly?and turned her to face him?she was crying?she smiled at him in between her controlled sobs?
?Kuch nahin?? she said wiping off her tears?
?Bani, kal jo kuch maine kahan I am sorry, I didn?t mean to dishearten you?? jai said apologetically?
?Its okay Jai, actually sometimes I think like you, practically but I just can?t make my heart understand??
?Why don?t you contact him, do have his address or phone number??
?Phone number toh hain but I never tried??
?You should call him??
?Do you really think so?he won?t mind na???
?Yes bani, he won?t mind, trust me?here take my phone??
?Are you sure??
?Bani talk to him?? handing her his mobile jai moved away to give her some privacy?
Bani punched the numbers which were by heart to her?she nervously held the phone close to her ear?she patiently waited?
Jai saw bani coming towards him with her face held low?she looked at him with teary eyes?
?It is unavailable?? she said sorely?
She was scared? she realized she had been for some time? scared of losing him, of losing everything that meant anything to her?
She looked to Jai for comfort and saw a familiar softness in his eyes? She felt a glimmer of hope, a flicker of that unwavering love she always wanted to see in pushkar?s eyes?she wanted to believe in it? she wanted, more than ever, to believe that everything was going to be okay? that pushkar still loved her? and that he wasn?t going to leave her?he would come back?
Bani cried aloud, letting her stripped emotions be seen by her friend?she cried?and involuntarily rested her head on his chest? jai didn?t move, neither did he tried to hold her?he let her be the way she was? ?
?It?s going to be okay?? he whispered?
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Jai and Bani walked in complete silence?
?Main kal subah jaa raha hoon?? he said?
?I will miss you?? she said?
?Me too??
?Aap mujhe bhoolenge toh nahin??
?Kabhi nahin??
?Thank you for everything??
?Bani?he will come back??
?I am not sure??
?Bani, don?t loose hope??
?Jai, if you truly love a person then set that person free?if that person comes back to you then that person is yours and if not then probably it was never meant to be??
?But you love him truly??
?I do, he might not??
?But??
?Just like you love me? but I don?t?? bani turned to look into his eyes?he kept mum?
?Aisa?kuch?? jai trailed off?
?Aapki aankhen jhoot nahin bolti?? bani said?
Jai was about to say something when he saw bani starting into oblivion?he looked in the direction of her fixed sight?there was a man standing by?
?Woh aagaya?? bani said looking at him with child-like enthusiasm?
?Haan?woh aagaya?? jai said trying to smile?
Bani hugged him and planted a soft kiss on his cheek?
?I am sorry?? she said and flung towards her lover? ?
Jai watched her slim figure disappear into the darkness of the moonless night?he somehow steadied himself form collapsing, his eyes fell on the silver anklet which lay orpahned on the ground?he picked it up?he quickly walked back?as fast as he could?
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The authentic instrumental music played by the famous Manganyar musicians, disturbed his train of thoughts?he looked around lost, he looked at the much coveted and influential people enjoying the cultural musicians and dancers?he felt empty?he reached for his coat pocket to feel the tiny chimes of her anklet?despite being the host he somehow excused himself?he plodded towards the same familiar place where he had met Bani? it was a similar familiar moonlit night?
He had rummaged and ransacked those old odd corners of an empty heart, for remnants of dim love? long disused, and dusty crumbling romance?it was still there as he had left a year ago? ?he couldn?t part with it? it was some kind of madness?something which she taught him?he doubted if madness was the loftiest form of intelligence?whatever but it was surely a paradise of opposites? blissful?and painful? ?
Jai neared the place as was let breathless seeing a familiar shadow? ?he leaned further to see the face?it was Bani?standing the same familiar way she stood in the past?he couldn?t believe his eyes?he felt he was dreaming?
?Hi Jai?I knew you would come?? he heard her same familiar melodious voice?he was surely hallucinating?
?This is not a dream?? bani said as she reached to touch his cheek?
?Bani?? his voice cracked?
?The very same??
?Pushkar kaisa hain??
?Theek hi hoga??
?What do you mean???
?It was never meant to be??
?What do you mean?? jai stared at her shell-shocked? he kept praying that what he had imagined should not come true?she didn?t deserve that?
Bani closed her eyes?
I love you she said as she fist drove into his tensed face? I know you do, he had answered?
His eyes dove grey, now, her head cradled in his arms, his chest solid against her ear, the frenetic thump of his heart reverberating through her body, the essence of her that he couldn't reach relaxed into memories that cut a billowing swathe through the reality of now...
I love you she whispered?again? as if repeating it would confirm the fact?
As she waited for his next move, he broke away, letting her drop forward on to the ground?he spoke harshly?
?I am already married?even before I met you?? he said rather unapologetically?
The taste of blood sharp, metallic in her throat?she closed her brimming eyes not wanting to believe him?she shut her eyes ever harder trying to let go of the searing pain, she could recall the days when his words cast warm shadows; soothing, pacifying... ?
She opened her gorgeous sad eyes to see him walk away?her hands reached out yearningly for her man, her lover, her life?which was no more??
?He was already married?from the time he met me?he was just playing around?he had come that night to tell me that??
Jai gritted his teeth?his palm curled into a fist?
?Tumne mujhe bataya kyun nahin?? he retorted angrily?
?Batana zarroori nahin tha??
?I told you?? he mumbled?
?I know you did?? she said smilingly?
?Then what are you doing here??
?Well, remembering someone??
?Don?t tell me you still love that rascal??
?No?in this one year surprisingly I could forget his betrayal but your eyes kept haunting me?I understood the true meaning of Love??
Jai?s stormy eyes calmed a bit?he couldn?t believe what he heard?bani leaned forward and pecked his lips?
?I love you?samajhne main thodi der hogayi par?I do??
?Tum pushkar ko bhula gayi ho?? he asked feeling jealous?
?Nahin?yaad rahega kyunki ussiki wajah se hum mile?shayaad yeh kaynaat ki saazish thi?humme milane ke liye??
He smiled??I love you too??
?I know?? she smiled?
Jai brought out her anklet?and bent to hook it around her foot?he noticed she was wearing only one anklet? ?
The whole night they sat on the steps which lead the lake?in each others arms in the moonlight? ?
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THE END? ?
God bless
Dhani
P.S.: Priya/mujer I am working on your concept, I had written a part of it!!!! Comedy is not my forte though I am very funny in real life?but I am trying hard to finish it!!! I seriously have little time? ?
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