Posted:
BAPU AUR MUNNA
"Bhai..Bapu..bole toh aaj kal..kaisa sadial shakal banake rakhela hai..."
"Eehh.Circuit..bole toh apna Bapu..bada dukhi hai aaj kal.."
"Jisne bhi Bapu ko dukh dia...naam bolo Bhai..uski Maa ki..yehich fodh daalega usko.."
"Arre..Circuit..woh Mumbai ka famous ..bole to mashhoor businessman hai..hotel ka dhandha hai uska.."
"Bhai..tu..kahi..usi admi k baare me toh nahi bol raha..jiski Biwi..har 2 saal baad..ghayab ho jaati hai..aur 6-8 saal baad waapas aati hai.."
"Haan re Circuit...is baar toh uski Biwi..17 saal baad wapas aai hai.."
"Bhai..tu Jai Walia ki baat kar raha hai...?"
"Haan..Bapu ..uski wajah se bahut dukhi hai.."
"Bhai ...tu bas bol...hukum kar..abhi uski puri family ko utha lata hai main."
"Nahi re..Circuit..family nahi hai..pura ka pura maholla basta hai Walia Mansion me.."
"Haan Bhai..itne log ek hich ghar pe..aur bacche..pata hi nahi chalta..kaun sa kiska hai..."
"Haan re Circuit...Bapu bada dukhi hai.."
Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram..
Pateeta Pavan Sita Ram..
Ishwar Allah tero naam..
Sab ko sammati de Bhagwan...
"Murli.."
"Eeh Bhai..Bapu ..aa gaya..Namaste Bapu..."
"Bapu..tu aa gaya...kyon khud dukhi hota hai..us Jai Walia k lia?"
"Kyaa karoon Murli..dukhi hota hoon..yeh ladka..mujhse milne aaya tha..tab woh 10 saal ka tha.."
"Bapu..kyaa bol rehla tum?Tum ko is duniya se gaye hue 60 saal ho gaye.. aur tumse woh milne aya tha..10 saal ki umar me..?Kab..?"
"San 1948..11th January ko.."
"Bapu..tu kya bol raha hai...iska matlab woh Jai Walia 70 saal ka hai?"
"Haan Murli...woh 70 saal ka hai..par aaj bhi dikhta hai maximum 40 ka.."
"Haila Bhai..maintain kia hai Walia..ne.."
"Ehh...Circuit..uski maintain ki Maa ki..par Bapu...tu uske lia dukhi kyon hai?"
"Ab kyaa bataoon..Murli..jab aaya tha mere paas...tab maine usko sikhaya tha..Satya aur Ahinsa ka raasta..par..yeh admi..itna hinsa faila chuka hai.. peechhle 30 saalon se.."
"Haa..Bhai..pata hai..admi sirf apni Biwi Bani ko torture karta raha ab tak..jab bhi koi musibat aati thi..uski woh Chudhail Bahen Jigyasa Bani k khilaaf kaan bharti..aur bar bar..Bani ko hi maar peet k..ghar se nikaalta raha Jai Walia.."
"Iski..Maa ki...aur yeh Bani..yeh bar bar isike paas kyon aati hai..?"
"Bhai..aadat se majboor hai..jab tak Jai Walia isko full kharcha paani nahi deta..maar peet k..tab tak uska bhi khana hazam nahi hota.."
"Sarkeshwar..Beta itna uttejit nahi hote..."
"Haila Bapu..tu ab bhi shaant baitha hai..utha apni laathi..aur de us Walia ko dana dan..dana dan.."
"Dukh hota hai Sarkeshwar..kyaa sikhaya tha..aur yeh ladka kyaa ban gaya.. woh sab..jo maine mana kia tha..wahi karta raha..maine isko sangyam ka paath padhaya..self control..."
"Uske self control k Maa ki...Bapu..full on tharki hai woh..aurat k bina uska kaam nahi chalta..Roshni,Sonali..fir Pia..Bani..Pia aur Bani k saath ek saath.. fir Meera..kyaa bataoon.."
"Isi baat ka dukh hai Sarkeshwar..par usne Bani par bar bar haath uthaya.. aur itne saalon baad..Bani waapas aai..aur usko pehchaan nahi paya..."
"Bapu..itne auraton k beech reh kar uski satak gayi hogi...."
"Main jaanta hoon Murli..bas..mujhe 30th January ko goli nahi lagi hoti..toh main kuchh din aur usko paath padha sakta tha..par sab golmaal ho gaya..."
"Bapu..aur uske bachche..Bharat ki badhti abadi ki koi fikar nahi hai usko ...Circuit se poochh le...kitne saare bachche hai uske.."
"Haan Bapu..bole to..Bani jab pehli baar pet se thi..tab woh bachcha paida nahi hua..uske baad..judwa Krishna aur Atharva..fir Bani ghayab..fir jab waapas aai..tab Krishna Atharva ki maut ho gayi..Meera kameeni ne ki yeh harkat..fir Jai ne Bani ko gaali di..peeta usko..aur nikaal dia..Bani tab bhi pet se thi...Ganga paida hui...fir 8 saal baad..fir se Ganga ki jaan bachane k lia
Krishna Atharva reloaded ko paida karna pada..aur Pia se bhi Jai ka taanka ek raat k lia bheeda tha..usse hai Veer..aur Meera se Jai ne shaadi ki..usse Vicky paida hua...Bapu...Bapu..tu kyaa kar raha hai?"
"Main count kar raha hoon Sarkeshwar...main bada confused hoon...mujhe paani peelao.."
"Aur sab se maze ki baat..yeh hai Bapu..jab bhi..Jai Walia k saath uske biwi ka jhamela hota hai..tabhi uski biwi Bani pregnant ho jaati hai..pahle bhi.. khichataani chal rahi thi..dono me Pia ko lekar..tab Bani pregnant hui..aur jab Krishna Atharva ki maut hui..tab bhi Bani pregnant thi..aur uske baad.. Krishna Atharva reloaded bhi khicha taani k beech paida hue..har baar Bani 5 yaa 8 saal k lia ghayab ho jaati hai..kabhi Jai usko paagal khane bhejta hai..kabhi laath maar k ghar se bhagata hai..kabhi Meera us par humla karti hai..is baar toh 17 saal baad aai hai Bani..aur Jai ne fir se usko dia kharcha paani..Jigyasa k kaan bharne par.."
"Shame ..Sarkeshwar ...shame.."
"Eeeyyy Bapu ..maine kyaa kia..tu mere ko kyon shame bol raha hai?"
"Eeeyy Circuit..Bapu us Walia ko shame bol rahe hain..yaar..character ka itna dhila hai yeh admi..kyaa bataoon...."
"Hey..Bhai..mere ko ab tension ho rehla hai..."
"Kyon Circuit?"
"Bani fir se waapas aayeli hai..is baar fir pregnant ho gayi toh...?"
"NAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"
"Bapu..tum kaayeko chillata hai...?"
"Main ab aur nahi sun sakta....."
"Relax Bapu...apun hai na..sab theek kar dega..par Circuit..Jai ka yaa Bani ka battery kab expire hoga re?"
"Bhai..rechargable battery hai na..isi lia...ghar se jab Bani door rehti hai..woh energy collect karti hai..aur Jai Walia ghar baith kar recharge hota hai...par dono ka talk time toh khatam nahi hota bhai,...."
"Life time SIM hai unka..dono taraf se..incoming aur out going..."
"Par Bhai..is baar ki Bani..badi mast hai..pehli wali..sirf roti thi..doobli patli thi..par yeh..kaafi mast item hai..mast figure hai iska..aur thodi meethi hai.. thodi teekhi hai..Jai Walia ko ab badhazmi hogi...mere ko lagta hai..is baar bhi Bani k paaon bhari honge.."
"Arre..Bhari ho gaya..us din Jai so raha tha Bani k saath..achanak Bani ne neend me foot ball khela..aur Jai k peechhe laga uska kick..Jai ne bola.. "Bani...tumhare pair bhaari hain.."
"Arre Bhai..tu bhi edha hai..bhaari matlab woh wala..9 maheene wala bhaari.."
"Nahii..Jai Walia ko utha le...Bani k saath raat nahi beetayega..aur na aisi musibat aayegi.."
"Sahi idea hai Bhai..ek dum jhakas.."
Bapu chup chaap baithe the ek kone me..apna gaal pakad k...
"Arre Bhai..Bapu ko kyaa hua?"
"Bapu..kyaa hua tere ko?"
"Mere gaalon me dard hai..Jai Walia itni taakat k saath paisa doosro k muh pe maarta hai..doosro k haath me patakta hai..note me main hota hoon...aur mere gaal me dard hota hai...Bani k haath me mujhe thama deta hai..dono taraf se thaped mujh par hi padti hai..mere bache hue daant bhi geer gaye.. dono k haath ka thappad khaa kar..mere daanton me dard hai.."
"Heeyy..Bhai..aaa..mail check kare..."
"Chal na Bapu..maza aayega.."
Ek joke tha mail me..
Bhagwan khush hai..un logo se..jonhone purane zamane me bhi family planning ko maintain kia..ab bachcho k number k hisaab se sab ko vehicles milenge...
Nehrujee aaye..
Bhagwan--kitne bachche?
Nehru--Ek hi..Indira..meri beti..
Bhagwan--Sabbaaas..yeh lo..Ferrari..
Indira Gandhi aai..
Bhagwan--Kitne bachche?
Indira--Rajeev and Sanjay..twos sons..
Bhagwan--Lovely..keep this BMW..
Dhirubhai Ambani came..
Bhagwan--Ee..Mota Bhai..kitne bachche?
Dhiru--4..Two Sons..and two daughters..
Bhagwan--well enough..take the Opel Astra..
Raj Kapoor aaye..
Bhagwan--how much?
Raj--Paanch..3 bete..2 betian..
Bhagwan--hmm..yeh Maruti Omni le lo....bada parivar hai..
Raj--thanks..
Laloojee aaye..
Bhagwan--You are sick..aap ne us zamane me 9 bachche paida kie..jab family planning ka agenda top priority ban chuka tha..shame..
Laloo--ee kaa..humen kuchh naa dijiyega?bhery unphair..geebh me sumthing..
Bhagwan--yeh Taxi rakh lo...
Laloo--thank you bhery much..it vill be my pelejure..
Laloojee laut rahe the Taxi lekar..Gandhijee se mulakat hui...sab kuchh sun kar Gandhijee tensed ho gaye..
Laloo--Bapu...aap paresaan kyun hai?
Gandhi--arre..mujhe toh auto rikshaw bhi nahi milegi..kisi ullu k patthe ne mujhe Father of the Nation bana dia hai..jab banaya tha..tabhi 40 crore the.. ab to 160 crore hai desh ki abadi..
Mail dekh kar Bapu foot foot k rone lage..
"Bhai..Bapu ko samhaal..."
"Tu bhi Mamoo hai Circuit..aisa joke kyun dikhaya tune Bapu ko..Bapu..nai Bapu..rona mat.."
"Main..kyaa karoon..mujhe kuchh nahi mila..aaj tak laathi k sahare chal raha hoon..aur woh Jai Walia..aaj bhi BMW par sawar hai...itne saare bachche paida kar k bhi..pata nahi aage kyaa hoga..sharam bech kar khaa gaya hai..."
"Haila Bapu..tu tension mat le...hum kal hi usko utha laayenge..tension naa le.."
Agle din...Jai Walia k BMW k saamne..Munna aur Circuit ki jeep khadi thi..
Jai--What the hell is happening..?Rasta kyun rok k rakha hai..?
"Teri hell ki aisi ki taisi be tharki thakele..Bapu bahut tension me hai..bahut dukhi hai..."
Jai--What the hell are you talking...?
"Circuit..isko utha ...le chal apne adde me..Bapu hi isko samjhaayenge..saale tu bhool gaya..Bapu ne tujhe kyaa kyaa sikhaya tha..?"
Jai--See..mujhe pata nahi..who the hell you are..but is waqt..main apni biwi Bani ko lekar hospital jaa raha hoon...uske check up k lia..she is two months pregnant damn it....
Bas..Munna aur Circuit k ankho k saamne andhera chha gaya...
Ankh jab khuli Munna ki..tab dekha Bapu aur Circuit uske paas baithe hain..7 maheene baad Munna ko hosh aaya hai..Bani ki pregnancy k baare me sun kar Munna coma me chala gaya tha..Munna discharge ho kar nikal raha tha..achanak dekha..ek cabin me bahut se log ghuse hain..
"Arre Circuit..yeh wahi Walia family hai na..baap re..itna bada.."
"Haan Murli..Jai Walia fir se baap bana hai..Bani ko fir se judwa bachche hue hain..."
"Bapu..chal yeha se...mujhe zinda rehna hai..dobara coma me nahi jana.."
6 maheene baad..Jai aur Bani ko Maharshtra Sarkar ne inaam dia..unhiki harkaton ki wajah se..mashhoor do Ghundhe Munna aur Circuit Mumbai chhod kar chale gaye..woh log Jai Walia k harkaton se bahut pareshaan the..isi lia bhaag gaye...ab woh log ban gaye hain Star..Bhojpuri Superstar.. Circuit ne Chhapra zille me apna naya makaan lia hai..aur Munna ko Banaras Hindu University se Acting me Doctorate ka khitaab bhi mila hai..
Bapu ..aaj bhi Munna k saath hai..Munna k Spiritual Guru hain Bapu..unko isi baat ki tasalli hai..k Munna Jai Walia jaisa nahi bana..apni Biwi ko pehchaan sakta hai..uske dhokhe me kisi aur k saath chakkar nahi chalata..Biwi par yakeen karta hai..Munna woh sab karta hai..jo Jai nahi karta..aur kuchh bhi aisa nahi karta..jo Jai karta hai..yaa kar chuka hai..Murli Prasad Sharma aur Jai Walia..sirf nick name ek hai..Munna..bas..ek south pole..ek north pole..
Bapu ko badi khushi hoti hai Munna ko dekh kar..par Jai k lia bhi khushi hai..Jai aisi harkat naa karta toh Munna Mumbai se nahi bhaagta..aur naa hi Bhojpuri Superstar banta...Munna ne Munna ko sudhaar dia..
THE END
Anupamaa
