TANYA IN THIS FORUM

I hope this will be the last confrontational thing on Tanya as this track will hopefully, mercifully come to and end!

I know many people on this forum believe TANYA HAS DONE EVERYTHING SHE HAS DONE FOR HER FAMILY'S HONOR. I believe this is only partly true, and I don't think we need to pat her over the shoulder everytime she cries and think "oh, she is soooooo selfless despite her pain...yaar, Mother Theresa-like in her concerns for everyone else. Did you see how she was willing to DIE for others?" Please temper that a bit, please.

What happened to Tanya was horrid. In trauma, she worried about her family, how they would look, what they would think of her, how she would look, about who would marry her, about her future, about what was taken from her. She HAD and HAS every right to think these thoughts--they would go on in anyone's heard, all of can disagree on order or importance. Other blanket statements:

TANYA MARRIED YUV BECAUSE OF HER FAMILY'S HONOR ALONE.

EVERY LITTLE THING SHE HAS DONE IS FOR HER FAMILY.

SHE HAS PUT EVERYONE ABOVE HERSELF.

SHE HAS SACRIFICED FOR EVERYONE.

SHE IS SUFFERING FOR EVERYONE.

I just don't understand how such generalized statements about her selflessness goes unchallenged all this time on this forum. I agree with you she is selfless and thoughtful, but not the extremes people here sometimes do. Yes, she thinks of her first love --her family most of the time. Don't other people think of their families when making decisions or going through something horrible? Arranged marriages, education, living in joint families, moving abroad, spouse filing for divorce, public humiliation. Tanya thought what many would think about in this or other situations and acted on these rationale: the people she loves, how they would take it, how it would hurt them, how her future is ruined, how word may spread and she and her family even other sisters may be humiliated? Is she pregnant?

SHE PUTS HERSELF LAST, oh so selfless, willing to hurl herself into a ravine for others' happiness. So she's not a burden. Look I'm throwing this out there but I am not criticizing her: if she did not want to be a burden and not tell the family, why did she not go away for a few months, somewhere. She's clearly was not receiving support from her family where she is because most of them don't know the truth behind things.

I am a bit sarcastic here but please bear with me. A human being, and I am counting the Tanya character as one of them albeit a TV character, may or may not put herself or his self above others. Can you definitively say this is the right thing to do? Shouldn't you look at it from the outcome possibilities? For example, when Tanya allowed Yuv to marry her (she may have been in shock but she damn well was not semi-conscious and could have stopped it!) Did she do this out of her family's concern only? Because, funny thing, the scene right before it, she talks about what happened and why she was marrying Kanaiyah because noone else would. She kept yelling that to Yuv, until the lightbulb went off in my sweet little idiot's head, got the sindhoor and married her! If that was supposed to be the solution to help someone who was raped, then Vivaah writers or creatives? got to get their heads and hearts examined.

I'm not criticizing here, merely stating another opinion on what was shown: she thought of her family first and did not want them to suffer, and she thought about her future too albeit secondly. And NOOOOO she did not put everyone above herself here--she married her sister's fiance! Did she think this would not cause issues??? Did Kul not think? Yuv of course...well. I'm not going to touch that again.

Even the most selfless of people think about themselves some times. We are human after all and we do have feeling and dreams for ourselves too. And we should. I firmly believe God gave us life to live, improve ourselves in many different ways, and to understand the human experience. Not to suffer for everyone. Jesus did that, but other religious texts do not propose this.

I don't hate Tanya, I think she may have some potential somewhere. But some of you guys preach her tunes as if God was talking through her, showing us how all should live....praising her for "thinking of her family", putting everyone above herself. Like a martyr, and I really have to laugh. YOU AND I ARE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW AND I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS ONLY. I think (and I am probably wrong on this) you compare her to the "selfish" sister. And hence everything looks selfless. Or to this day, when the waterworks begin everyday and she worries about making others unhappy. Well, if I married my sister's husband and most of my family does not know, wish me good luck--forget, having a family that is angry at me--- I will not have much of a family. Rape victim or not, this is a REALITY. You just do not do these sorts of things in a family, and this is why Trish despised her. Even if she knew the truth, I wish Trish would have not forgiven this, but still accepted her and Yuv.

And as was mentioned in this other post, what is up with Trishna's change? Why doesn't the Vivaah show just have a list of core Indian values at the end of the show to help us all make sense of the bizarre turns in this track! Maybe then I might just understand? Naah, nothing could do that.

There is no black or white when it comes to most people--it's just an unsettling mixture of the two, proportions unknown.