Short Funny Humor Jokes

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and No.

Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies"
Major: "Excellent ! We can now attack in any direction!!"

First guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

Darling," said the affectionate husband, "I've insured myself for $1,000,000. If anything happens to me you will be provided for."
"Good," said his loving wife, "Now you won't have to call the doctor every time you feel sick."

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"Well, you've done the right thing," says Mommy
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."