Vyapti's Dreamland- Page 46

Sometimes, the person who cannot save us from our pain can still teach us how to stop hurting ourselves! A well-hidden healing message in it!!

Well-written lines, Nibedita.

And sometimes the student is very difficult.

Thank you, Madhuri. ❤️❤️

The artist who lives within my heart,

She who lives within my heart—

What is she called?—

She, the lover, who lives within my heart—

If I am not even worthy

Of uttering the word 'love',

Then please, somehow, forgive me—

Forgive me.

Oh, damn it!

The words just keep

Clumping together in my throat.

What was I saying?

The artist who lives within my heart

The lover who lives within my heart,

She says, “I will paint your portrait;

I will paint you with a brush, with my fingers.

My fingers will brush against yours.

My fingers will touch your eyelashes,

Your lips, your cheeks, your throat, your chest, your feet;

These fingers will touch every part of you.

I will paint, I will paint, I will go on painting—

Once, again, again and again.”

Oh! I don’t even know how to paint!

Whatever I will draw,

Will make even you cry.

Oh dear, what are you doing?

Laughing, are you?

Nice expression; this beautifully captures all the emotional desires during indulging in creativity.

Thank you so much, Madhuri

That is why I cannot stay alone.

That is why I do not stay alone.

That is why I hate you;

I entangle you in hatred.

Whatever happens,

I will not stay alone.

The way a spider

Clasps an insect to its breast,

Like that I will cling to you.

You are not an insect—

that is another matter.

As long as the insect does not die,

As long as you do not die—

While writing poetry,

I make mistakes regarding a few truths.

Actually, it should have been,

“As long as I do not die.”

As long as I do not die,

I will keep you tangled in hatred;

I will keep you tangled in this cobweb,

And live by drawing

The essence of life from you.

What? What, dear?

I am like that.

I am poisonous blue lips,

A fierce, burning thirst;

You are hazelnut chocolate.

I am a woman, a boat;

You are water, the waves upon the water.

The boat will sway upon the waves.

I am the thirst for beauty

Of an unbeautiful body;

Your hands hold ornaments,

Gajra, kumkum and kajal.

Is it morning already?

What was I saying to you last night?

Lightning flashes in the evening sky

Like your smile.

It asks,

"Have you forgotten me?

Why do you no longer visit me?"

I don't love you.

Why should I love you?

You don't love me.

You love another woman.

Her name is-

No, her name is not beauty,

Her name is duty.

No, you don't neglect me

Because of your duties.

That is not what I am saying.

Duty is my sapatni,

Your favourite,

And I am supposed to be her servant.

Why did I even love you?

Your sweet face-

Did that make me a fool?

I am a lazy person,

I absolutely hate duty.

And you-

She is your favourite.

My life is hell

Because of you.

Tell me, where do I go?

Why should you?

You don't love me,

You only love dutiful people.

Wherever I look,

It is you

And your cherished beloved

Mocking me, hating me,

Looking at me with contempt.

That is what

Your duty to me feels like,

Isn't it,

O epitome of love?