Dowry Deaths in India – Another Daughter Lost, A Society Questioned. - Page 5

Originally posted by: A_Star39

Hi there!

I was really wishing that someone makes are thread on this since dowry deaths are at their peak

Thanks to Viswashruti for making this thread

Honestly Indians in general see marriage as a ultimate goal of life.

and I observed this divorce stigma from my personal experience

I have a aunt in paternal side and she is divorced when her kid was young.It was a mutual consent divorce in 2010s and has a grown kid.She is single and thriving

I have a aunt in my maternal side.She has abusive in laws and her husband is suffering from chronic OCD and tormenting.She even tried to commit suicide once.She had twin sons and they are adult now and she didnt divorce though she has no relation left with her husband.She is not divorcing him due to her adult kids since the "Stigma".She is living on her own terms but still stuck in that marriage.

Society views them from different POVs

Isne toh ghar tod diya apna.Isse apna ghar bhi nahi chala.

Bechari,apne baccho ke liye ghar chalaya aur rishta nibhaya.dekho abhi bhi divorce nahi liya baccho ke liye

This is why dowry deaths are happening

One Part of this happening is due to the Divorce Stigma

I will write more about the causes in later part

The lines about “ghar tod diya” versus “ghar chalaya” are particularly powerful because they expose the double standards and emotional burden placed on women. Marriage is often treated as an ultimate destination, while dignity, safety, and peace of mind are pushed aside.

Your point about divorce stigma contributing to dowry deaths and prolonged suffering opens an important discussion. Sometimes social pressure becomes a silent prison, forcing people to endure situations they should never have to. Thank you for bringing this perspective into the thread with examples.

I look forward to reading your thoughts on the other causes as well.

Originally posted by: Clochette

Moral values obviously are on an accelerated decline, albeit we all know what is right and what is wrong, what should be done and what not.

Vyapti showed how a negative image of women gets excused by stereotypes and others brought the arguments made through naming culture but whose base are human faults and flaws.

That is the situation (thanks a lot for the statistic, Sanskruthi, not only about Delhi and Mumbai) - however the decline is global.

According to India, what should be done also was proposed... but that is here in our thinking, that is not acting. What is feasible and how could common people do it?

A feasible step for ordinary people is to start change within families and social circles itself. Refuse dowry openly, support victims instead of asking them to “adjust”, stop glorifying silent suffering as virtue, and challenge discriminatory remarks even in casual conversations. Social evils survive not only because of criminals, but also because of silent acceptance. If every family takes a conscious stand, many harmful practices may gradually lose their social legitimacy. These are my suggestions.

Yes, indeed, it is a global phenomenon but as a previous post about countries where dowry still is practised shows, this very specific problem isn't a global one.

Honestly, I think that common people don't have the strength to bring a change by acting only in their family-world, they need a strong support system which reflects a common wish (not only regarding dowry, btw.)... and this support system can't only be on a private level, it has to be ensured also by official 'backers', actually by all those who swear an oath on either the constitution, the human rights or doing something good for a community (doctors, teachers, police etc.).

So, how to bring all the respective departements and groups under the umbrella of a positive goal for humankind? What a common person wanting a change strongly, can do?

Since generations it was rooted in people's mind that women are meant to adjust for everything may be it is strict rules at home, call her impure during periods when it is the most divine and purest thing where she can give life to another human, body shamming at every moment of life, white color obsession, manipulating since childhood that all these rules are mandatory, moulding her into whatever the want her to be, extremes stress causing PCOS and Endometriosis, funniest thing is parents warn us not to talk with strangers but get us married to the very stranger who they know for 2 weeks just because they have good background and pay scale. No one think about the girl's choice, wishes, dreams. South Korean women collectively decided not to give birth to the gender which can threat their existence in future. They actually witnessed drastic fall of birth rates last year. Women have so much power that if all the women of the world decided not to marry, give birth to next generation , whole world will collapse. Women always should be on constant alert mode at schools, work place, changing and washrooms because predators are everywhere. It's very sad to see many cases every 10 minutes where women are dying due to all above circumstances. At least we should not follow what our parents preached us since childhood. Inculcate all the values in your children which you want to witness in others. Sex education should be mandatory from schools. It's sad na we women should fight for basic needs too. We worship goddess but give no respect to women who are the reason of existence in the world. Sorry for my rant twisha's case literally broke me and her family is cashing followers in insta. They are not leaving her at peace even after death.

In families, there often is the problem that mothers give to their daughters what they had to endure themselves... there is a strange kind of psychological 'what-had-been-done-to-me...'.

So, yes, it is something that had to get fought for in the open, publicly, in groups...and very, very loud and with a strong perseverance... because not only men can be the 'enemy'... right?

So, again, how to do it in a practical way???

https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/gujarat-shocker-man-dislikes-wife-sells-her-for-50-000-gets-gangraped-11551293

Husband Nikesh Patel 'sold' his wife and she got gang r*ped. There's no mindset change here. All these men need to be castrated and given death sentences. How can a woman call this country her 'motherland' where men like Ram Rahim are out on parole? It makes me sick. A motherland is supposed to be the safest and nurturing place.

Stricter law and order, quick judgements and implementation and no mercy for these people who prey on woman's dignity is only the way forward to make women safe.

Originally posted by: Clochette

In families, there often is the problem that mothers give to their daughters what they had to endure themselves... there is a strange kind of psychological 'what-had-been-done-to-me...'.

So, yes, it is something that had to get fought for in the open, publicly, in groups...and very, very loud and with a strong perseverance... because not only men can be the 'enemy'... right?

So, again, how to do it in a practical way???

Unfortunately society is so f**ed up that they prefer victims to die than being alive and fight for justice. When it comes to women and her rights there is no strict laws that are actually executed. You know years before there used to be birth control pills for men too but due to extreme side effects they stopped for men and imposed it on women. Even in hospitals when we consult for treatment of gynaec problems their first thought is about non existent children who we give birth in future. Our body our health can go to hell but they want uterus to be ready for birth. Are we baby producing machines or what? Education has nothing to do with all stone age outdated mindsets. Practically implementing strict laws is only possible when people comes to streets and fight for this cause.

Originally posted by: Sanskruthi

https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/gujarat-shocker-man-dislikes-wife-sells-her-for-50-000-gets-gangraped-11551293

Husband Nikesh Patel 'sold' his wife and she got gang r*ped. There's no mindset change here. All these men need to be castrated and given death sentences. How can a woman call this country her 'motherland' where men like Ram Rahim are out on parole? It makes me sick. A motherland is supposed to be the safest and nurturing place.

Stricter law and order, quick judgements and implementation and no mercy for these people who prey on woman's dignity is only the way forward to make women safe.

The only way to stop all these is give capital punishment and hang them in middle of streets so that these predators will have fear that if we see a girl child with bad eyes, death will be sitting on their heads

Women can sacrifice herself to feed their children but men sell their women and children to feed themselves and play victim card.

Indian Judiciary goes at snail's pace. That is the cause of many many problems.

Another "amazing" thing is Twisha's MIL is an woman and was a judge.