Originally posted by: EkPaheli
His pain is stemming from his mom leaving him.
His mom left him because his dad cheated on her, AGAIN. He was present when Daksha was slapping his dad, reminding him of him doing this for a second time to Tulsi. He heard his mom admit how it was something for which she should have never forgiven his dad back then itself.
He blames his mom for leaving him. He doesn’t blame his dad.
He doesn’t want to even think about what made his mom leave, even yesterday Shobha and Gayatri had to pacify him and tell him to once put himself in Tulsi’s shoes all because he kept asking why she left, despite knowing everything.
That’s not an emotionally broken person to me. That’s a person who refuses to accept the reality that his mother was in a lot of pain. He refuses to think about what she had to go through because he wants to keep his own pity party going on and because he was asked to bear the responsibilities of his brother at office. He’s saying everything went wrong and wants to put the burden of blame on his mother citing her absence, but where is his own accountability in all of this?At some point you can’t expect your parents to hand hold you through everything in life. You also cannot expect your mother to be nothing more than a mom.
If he’s emotionally broken, then so is she. Her pain had to have been enormous as well, imagine being cheated by your husband, discovering that he has fathered a son with another woman. Accept him back despite that, accept his son as your own too, love him like he were born of your own womb. Then find out that your husband has done it again - cheated on you, again. Now, at this stage of life where you two are old enough for him to consider retirement soon, for the two of you to watch your grandkids getting married soon, having great-grandchildren down the line. When you think this is the phase of life where you two can get to sit back and relax in your life finally. Your kids are old enough to run business, take care of home, your grandchildren are also well raised and sure to do well. You feel like it’s finally time for you two to have some time to yourselves as a couple who are no longer expected to run around and take care of everything because you have done your duties, lived through that phase. Been the good son/bahu who looked after work/home, family, had kids and raised them, got them married and now ensured that they can look after everything. But your dearest husband surprises you by having an affair at this age, for the second time in your marriage.
You had let bygones be bygones, you had managed to bury the pain of his past betrayal deep within your heart so that your family can lead a happy life, you compromised on your dignity once for the sake of your children, for the sake of not letting everything you once helped grow and build crumble apart. You did that with the bare minimum expectation of him not repeating the same mistake ever again in this lifetime.
You returned to his home, to his life, to your family, and more importantly to his room and back in his bed as well. You went back there despite a part of your brain nagging you that he shared this with someone else too, he fathered a son with her and kept you in the dark for decades. That it took that son himself coming up to you for you to know this truth that would alter your life forever. You go through that choosing forgiveness and hope. Choosing family and the future of your kids.
You only hope you don’t get to relive it again. You only hope that you won’t regret this decision of yours.
Your hopes are shattered and so are you… beyond words and belief.
But sure, that should be put aside because ONE child of yours doesn’t want to accept that mom can be hurt too. That she’s a human being with limits as well. Because in his head, his mom’s world should revolve around him? She’s not allowed to leave.
How can I find sympathy for someone who himself can’t be sympathetic towards his own mom?
His weaknesses do not inspire compassion in me, I am made of sterner stuff perhaps. Like I said maybe life has toughened me, I am jaded. But for me this isn’t a weakness of mind, it’s lack of understanding and empathy for the suffering of the one person who you claim you love the most in the world.Why does a good mother have to prove she’s a good mother by sticking around for her children regardless of the circumstances? How does that make her a bad individual or a bad mother if for once she chooses to walk away because her own sanity, dignity and very identity felt like it was crumbling?
Can you call yourself a good child if you demand your mother endure everything for your sake, so you don’t get to taste the harshness of life, see how tough it can be?
Well I don't think he is not sympathetic towards her, he is but his own pain has overwhelmed him to the point where he is unable to see it that others especially his mother had it worse. My point is we don't know exactly what happened to him in those 6 years. If we are not judging tulsi for cutting ties with her kids regardless of the reason being Mihir cheating on her twice then why judge Rithik for lashing out at her? He probably doesn't even mean it and could be doing it impulsively. Let's say you divorce your husband because he cheated on you, does it make sense to treat your own kids like strangers for no fault of theirs? That is basically the same as emotional abandonment. Cutting ties with the husband's family is one thing but cutting ties with your kids is not something i can understand and that is exactly where Rithik's pain stems from and hence the explained irrational blaming of his mother. Like I said again whether you disagree he is emotionally broken or not, he has spiralled down to a point where he was driven to the edge of ending his life. Judging a person like that is not fair.
"How can I find sympathy for someone who himself can’t be sympathetic towards his own mom?" - Because you are only concerned about what tulsi is going through, tulsi is not the only victim here, when a man cheats his wife his kids also end up suffering the minute they split up, this is how it is in when a family breaks apart. The kids are pretty much victims of that same infidelity. That way even I can ask how can you sympathise with a woman who unfairly punishes her children for their father's actions? Is that fair?
"Why does a good mother have to prove she’s a good mother by sticking around for her children regardless of the..."- it's not about whether she is a good mother or individual, its about responsibility. As a parent you will still hold a certain level of responsibility towards your kids regardless of their age and vice versa. She was questioning Mihir over his responsibility as a father but she too wasn't fulfilling her end of the responsibility as a mother. If you don't want the responsibility then don't have kids or adopt kids only to neglect them emotionally later because of your own pain and wash your hands off them. I am not saying she has to endure everything for the sake of her kids, she could live separately as she was already or at best she could divorce him and end it all with him, but she is wrong for abandoning her children, moreover she is not even divorced, just living separately, so many women both divorced or living separately ensure they have the children close to them or at least make the effort to communicate with them if they dont have the custody, but tulsi didn't do that, what is that really suppose to mean? She can show love and affection to some unrelated strangers but deny the same to the very children she raised? Do you honestly think she was right to do that?
Here the main point is not about her enduring everything for the sake of her kids, I don't really expect her or anyone to do that, but I do expect her to fulfill at least a part of her responsibilities if not all as a mother. Tomorrow if my parents fight and divorce each other for whatever reason does that relieve them of their duties as my parents? Does that suddenly make them unrelated to me, would my mother be any less of a mother to a point where she doesn't even bother to learn or find out about how I'm doing in life and treat me like a complete stranger overnight just because they couldn't get over their pain. I simply cannot understand that even as a woman. Punishing your husband and cutting ties with him is one thing but cutting ties with your kids is not something I can understand.
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