Sunn Mere Dil (GEO) #11 - Wahaj Ali, Maya Ali, Hira Mani - Page 110

Originally posted by: wildflower9

@bold: this is the more apt explanation. i don't find her mother's behaviour wrong because any mother would say this only.

if sadaf wants to take divorce, her mother won't go against her but she will definitely object if she starts bringing bilal in her conversations and life before divorce.

I disagree on nothing being wrong with the mother’s behaviour. I come from a fairly conservative family and I could never see my mom saying something like this to me. I guess religion trumps culture for us. I feel she is guilting Sadaf when divorce is her religious right, I know the mom doesn’t mean harm but this kind of behaviour is problematic. Expecting a woman to stay and compromise in a marriage no matter what the guy is doing is an unfair expectation. She’s not leaving Ammar for Bilal. She’s leaving him because he’s cheating, abusive, accusatory and continued his cheating even when she said she would change her entire life for him.

Originally posted by: wildflower9

@bold: everything will fall into place if sadaf gets divorce before getting romantically involved with bilal. otherwise they might end up making her mother right. because not much difference will be left between sadaf and ammar.

sadaf can't wait even a few weeks/months. how can she be so desperate being the female lead. most of the KRQ female leads aren't white characters anyway.

But yes, for this to be valid, she needs to wait out the period.

Originally posted by: unicornhugs

Agreed on the part of not bringing another man into her life before her divorce is finalized. Not just religiously but practically too, Sadaf needs time on her own to figure things out instead of jumping into another relationship. Obviously I don’t want this for entertainment purposes 🤣 I’m watching this show for entertainment.

I disagree on nothing being wrong with the mother’s behaviour. I come from a fairly conservative family and I could never see my mom saying something like this to me. I guess religion trumps culture for us. I feel she is guilting Sadaf when divorce is her religious right, I know the mom doesn’t mean harm but this kind of behaviour is problematic. Expecting a woman to stay and compromise in a marriage no matter what the guy is doing is an unfair expectation. She’s not leaving Ammar for Bilal. She’s leaving him because he’s cheating, abusive, accusatory and continued his cheating even when she said she would change her entire life for him.

@bold: in real life, no one advises you to take divorce but as a last resort. i've seen marriages working out after compromise and people saying thank God we didn't get divorced. her mother is only saying her to wait a bit before jumping to the decision.

and personally i've no problem if sadaf gets divorce because ammar has mentally tortured her enough. but it doesn't look right if she gets romantically involved with bilal before divorce to mentally torture ammar. what difference will be left between the two?

Originally posted by: dennisdmenace

You are such a positive and hopeful person. I just hope and pray that our wishes of bilal Sadaf scenes come true.

I am hopeful because I understand KRQ's style of writing...when he is almost at the finishing point of the story,one will understand what message he is trying to give..his way of writing is not 1+1=2 ,its complex.

Also in OST,so many scenes are there for bilal-sadaf.

Also I dont have much hope I m just trying to calm down myself

Originally posted by: unicornhugs

That still wouldn’t make her the same as Ammar. She has decided to end the marriage and she should wait her iddat period. They could decide to wait out the iddat period. Even if they don’t though, which they should, it still doesn’t make her same as Ammar. He didn’t wait until they were separated. He started long time ago and has been unapologetic about it.

But yes, for this to be valid, she needs to wait out the period.

separation means nothing because you can decide to reconcile later. and sadaf's decisions and desires change on daily basis.

yes sadaf will be slightly better than ammar but still she will be a grey character.

Originally posted by: wildflower9

@bold: in real life, no one advises you to take divorce but as a last resort. i've seen marriages working out after compromise and people saying thank God we didn't get divorced. her mother is only saying her to wait a bit before jumping to the decision.

and personally i've no problem if sadaf gets divorce because ammar has mentally tortured her enough. but it doesn't look right if she gets romantically involved with bilal before divorce to mentally torture ammar. what difference will be left between the two?

Divorce is the last resort but she isn’t just saying let’s see if this marriage can be salvaged. She isn’t trying to arrange a reconciliation meeting with herself involved. She’s telling her, it’s no big deal, make it work. I mean she’s saying this before he’s even apologized. That’s what I’m finding problematic and for that reason, I don’t want her to end up being the right one. It sends out a terrible message in my opinion. And so far there has been nothing redeeming about Ammar to even try and make this work.

Originally posted by: wildflower9

separation means nothing because you can decide to reconcile later. and sadaf's decisions and desires change on daily basis.

yes sadaf will be slightly better than ammar but still she will be a grey character.

Originally posted by: unicornhugs

Of course, getting involved just to spite Ammar is terrible. Even if real feelings are involved, she should wait.

Divorce is the last resort but she isn’t just saying let’s see if this marriage can be salvaged. She isn’t trying to arrange a reconciliation meeting with herself involved. She’s telling her, it’s no big deal, make it work. I mean she’s saying this before he’s even apologized. That’s what I’m finding problematic and for that reason, I don’t want her to end up being the right one. It sends out a terrible message in my opinion. And so far there has been nothing redeeming about Ammar to even try and make this work.

@bold: i didn't see her saying it's no big deal. this is definitely a difficult thing. she just keeps giving examples that girl do it and you should do it too. but then she said i won't stop you if you get divorce. she is not against the divorce as such but she is just not encouraging her to get divorce. no one encourages you to get divorce in real life either.

to me her mother just looked worried that her daughter's house is breaking apart that's why she wants her to make it work somehow. but she is defintely not strictly against divorce.

Originally posted by: unicornhugs

Yes still wrong religiously if she does this while separated and not divorced. I just don’t see this as her being at equal footing to what Ammar did. I can see how it would be a problem if they started anything before they get divorced. I think they will though. I’m pretty sure that Ammar and Sadaf are still married when that rain sequence happens. Otherwise it wouldn’t matter if Ammar came back.

the rain scene isn't coming anytime soon. ofcourse ammar and sadaf will remain married till the end. sadaf will be at the crossroads again.

@bold: not equal footing but only slightly better.

Not sure religiously, but isn’t having a romantic affliction with someone without a divorce morally wrong ? It’s literally cheating because regardless of the fact you partake in physical intimacy or not, you are consciously cheating your husband - how’s that justified ?
and no, Farzana might be justified if this was 1970s - now times have changed. If she knows Sadaf has been domestically abused by Ammar and still wants her to give him a chance, she’s the shittiest mother in the face of the earth. No mother should and would support that.

I do understand that Divorce is *still* considered a stigma in many parts of the society, is frowned upon even religiously, but come on she’s not getting a divorce because she doesn’t like Ammar or she’s harboring feelings for someone else. There’s an inherent lack of trust, respect in this relationship. So why should she continue to suffer ? Bacchi thodi hai ki yeh pasand nahi aaye toh let’s move on to the next toy bolegi Sadaf.
She’s an adult who’s well aware of the consequences of her actions. So Farzana should treat her as one instead of asking her to give an abuser like Ammar another chance.