Originally posted by: rysohini
And in all of this - "Where does Arshi's self - help is the best help" feature?
She had realised Ani is some one else's and not hers any more long back - she says it before trying to commit suicide after the pre-wedding announcement party - mujhe pata hai tum jis tarike se use dekhte ho, you are not mine anymore ! So I will take my life and blame it on J!
I would agree to the things you have stated here, if I found Arshi's love for Ani to be true love. Unfortunately it is not ! Her one true love is her love for her dance and career - she has been conditioned that way by Shrishti - which is not an issue at all, as long as she owns it to be!
There are many relationships specially husband-wife's in Indian societies, where the wife stays on in an abusive marriage or a loveless one, because the wife 'loves' the husband and ignores the downsides ! Or she is too handicapped financially and otherwise to move out!
Same happens with some husbands albeit the number of cases might be lesser
1. I want to continue this relationship because I have invested years in it - coz I think I found some one whom I can keep on leash as a pet ,who would dance to my tunes, like my mom has found in Vinayak. Despite that some one telling me several times, you can call it quits if you like !
2. I want to continue this relationship because Ani is a trophy that I cannot lose to J
3. I happily go and sit in the shaadi mandap twice, while double-guessing my to-be husband and his actions, during each and every ritual - exactly whom am I doing a favour to here? Please remind me again?
4. My husband refuses to remove the ring that some one has gifted him and wears it in the ring finger, goes on a date with her on his bday while I wait through out the night to throw him a surprise bday party - but these are just minor hiccups for me
As a woman, the moment my instinct says, the person in front of me, is emotionally cheating on me, is where I take a stand for myself and call it quits !
As a successful, educated , financially independent woman, even more ! I owe this to myself, to my womanhood, to other women in the society, above everyone else ! If I love and respect myself enough that is !
Instead, I say let me not give a damn for my self-respect, but be influenced by every word, that every other person says to coax or pacify me. Plus let me be spiteful towards the weaker of the two and set her up for the following-
1. When she is gracefully giving up her rights, let me forcefully break her shakha pola and wash off her sindoor
2. Let me keep Ani busy at a party, so that the rest of BH can throw her out and my mom can set her up with Tejas and take her off to Kashmir in a bus
3. Let me announce in front of Ani and let him know that J has agreed to marry groom uncle, when J has not said it yet. And let me goad over how lucky J is for having found groom uncle who is double J's age, who will take her on foreign trips - given a choice, would I marry Uncle Groom?
4.Go to the extreme of taking my life, so that I can blame J for it
IN SHORT - AS YOU SOW, SOW YOU REAP - The more harm you cause to a person out of jealously and insecurity, it will come back to you manifolded!
A lot of what transpired between Ani and J , and the U-turn that their relationship took, was coz Ani initially trusted that if no one , Arshi would understand, when he brought J to Kol- coz at that time the intent was to help J, specially coz Arshi is J's sister and as another woman would understand the extreme sad fate that J has met with , that of losing her mom, under the shocking circumstances.
Neither Ani nor J were in love with eo nor had accepted their fake forced wedding. With each passing day, the kind of zillat J received from the evil clan, together with the guilt of hiding the secret wedding from the evil clan, pushed RuNak closer to eo! Ani could have remained a friend, well wisher and enabler for J, if Arshi and the rest fo BH, let them be ! It's in him , having to rise to several occasions, to try and protect J from all evils that befell J, that brought them closer!
It is kind of a repeat we see today with Guruji Jr and his wife , where the wife insults Guruji Jr in front of his students, for bringing J along ! And while the wife is not unfounded of the insecurities she feels- reacting the way she does, will propel Guruji away from his wife - not sure how long they are married for, but this is not the kind of behaviour that you expect from an understanding life partner - unless Guruji has a strong back history of being a flirt or some one who has had affairs with his female students - him calling J behen, beti , ma proves that he is not such a fellow - but if this is what a wife gives you back - you probably should go in and have a few affairs to justify her bad-mouthing you n your kala (art) !
Absolute disrespect, disregard and disdain towards a married partnership - why are you married to this lover of kala to start with, coz you have no respect for the kala either!
Now suddenly after an accident, I realise my to-be husband was cheating on me. So why was I readily, happily with all smiles, sitting at the mandap, committing to a life-long partnership? How was I being true and fair to myself?
I am sorry, this is my own doing, I have created this pit for myself and in full sense, willfully, walked and fell right into it
Absolutely..... I must say another thing regarding Ani and Arshi.....Yes Ani has done wrong.. some big mistakes he has committed...but...
Moments of crisis are the true test of character....Ani has made many mistakes but ultimately in moments of crisis, his conscience never left him....he ultimately did recognize right from wrong....that basic moral grounding was never lost....He tried to do what he thought is right no matter what price he has to pay for this..Last time he has chosen to be with Jhanak sabotaging his every relationship..and this time with Arshi , he has chosen to lose himself forever.While with Arshi, crisis is revealing yet again that she was never anchored correctly from a moral angle....her sense of right and wrong is totally dissipating as she acts on her worst impulses....
โฆit was nice to see them scared of Jhanak 
cause they know chor ki daadi mein tinka 
..they r at fault hereโฆ
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