Last 16 - Match 3 - Pardes defeats Jawan - Page 2

Jawan

Originally posted by: JayaBachan

Don’t let members emotionally blackmail you into voting for Jawan. Earn their hatred, wear it proudly on your chest. VOTE FOR PARDES! OB LA DI OB LA DA OB LA DO, PARDES NEEDS YOU TOO!

I agree people/ don't let anyone blackmail you into thinking Pardes is better then Jawan.

here is a great example from Jaya on why you should vote Jawan over Pardes

Originally posted by: JayaBachan

INTERMISSION

I AM SCREAMING, CRYING, ROARING & VOMITING! BEHOLD MY NOSTRILS AS IT FLARES BIGGER THAN ALIA BHATTS FUTURE! OH MY FCUKING GOD, PLEASE LET ME MARRY DADDY SRK!

JAWAN FINAL REVIEW

Copying and pasting from Non-Spoiler thread

I’m still screaming, crying, roaring & vomiting but now I’m doing all of the above on the toilet seat as I type away. Before I begin, I’d like to pledge and reinforce my eternal love to Shahrukh Khan. I fucking love him so much, and it’s SO annoying being in this one-sided relationship with him.

Now, let’s commence my review. I sat down on my seat and people watched, narrowing my eyes at the little children being carried to their seats. I made eye contact with several kids and squinted my eyes, warning them that this aunty (thumps chest) will not tolerate any screaming, crying or tantrums throughout the movie. I flared my nostrils and grunted at the parents, keep your kids settled ya selfish bastards. Lmao, just kidding (🙂).

The movie started and guess what? I could see the shadow of a man wearing glasses swimming in the ocean. I was like HUH? Then I realised that an idiot was standing in front of the projector and casting his UNWANTED shadow of a mug onto the screen. The camera is panning and capturing the scene, the ocean, and you have this clueless fcuker-kahin-ka looking left and right, while he STANDS at the back of the cinema, right where the projector is. Atlee may as well cast him in the bloody movie coz he became one with the fishes in the sea. My blood vessel was about to pop. Thankfully he sat down because my foot was about to fly towards his head.

OHMYGOD! I can’t even tell you how GOOD the first entry scene was. I was already crying before I saw him. LMAO. It’s the time of the month, stfu. I’m emotional. My brother noticed and he was mouthing “WTF is wrong with you”. I hissed back at him “shut up before I force you to stand outside of Mannat with me”. He was horrified but it worked. By the way, I think I have a mummy fetish because why did he look so hot bandaged as a mummy?

Then when he drawled out in his sexy deep voice “Main Kaun Hoon,” I almost leaped out of my chair, pointing my ungli to the screen, sobbing “YOU’RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, that’s who you are!” *Insert Bollywood song*

https://youtu.be/joOF9ANX9XU?si=qlObLE8El26YWQK8

Hahahaha, I’m getting distracted but man I LOVED Jawan. This is coming from someone who hates action films and 9 out of 10 times, my eyes would be rolled to the back of my head, especially when it comes to masala movies. Unless the guy is hot, that’s the only (1 out of 10 time exception) when my eyeballs would be staring at the screen. HOTMENZINDABAD! ✊🏼

How-to-the-ever, this time I genuinely loved the film. The songs were a snooze fest except for Ramaiya Vastavaiya. Nayantara was pretty hot, but her chemistry with SRK sucked ass. SRK’s fake beard had better chemistry with him and every time he came onscreen CLEANSHAVEN, I wanted to rip my eyeballs out and shove it down Atlee’s throat. How dare you direct/produce/whatever this movie and somehow include a clean-shaven SRK in the script. During these times, I really appreciate Karan Johar because whether you like him or not, that man KNOWS how to present you onscreen.

So I finally understand the hype surrounding Deepika’s cameo role. Bruh, her 15 minute screen-time chewed Nayantara into pieces. I momentarily forgot Nayantara was the main lead in the film. Deepika’s beauty, screen presence and acting completely overshadowed her. Her chemistry with SRK is sheer magic. Also how THEFEK did they manage to find a little boy who looks like a hybrid of baby Aryan and SRK? Reminded me of little Aryan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.

Theres a specific scene towards the end (and I’m sure everyone has watched the spoiler video) where the main dialogue is centred around THEFINGER/UNGLI. At this point, I feel like I should be paid by Atlee for my cameo role. All I could think about was that SRK may never say my name in this janam, but he said the first half of my India Forum username at least 50 times. No autographs please, only donations. Thank you xo

Finally, we have reached the end of my review where I’d like to dedicate this space to froth over DADDYRATHORE. Holy shivers, may the Lord strike me dead if I lie, but Vikram Rathore is the hottest action hero EVER. I don’t endorse smoking because EW but saat khoon maaf if you’re Vikram Rathore. Oh special mention to John Abraham, he made it look sexy in Dhoom as well. 🫨

I desperately need a spin off made SOLELY on Vikram. Atlee, if you’re reading this, then please compensate my eyes for enduring a beard-less SRK by casting him opposite Aishwarya Rai. Please keep them both alive, not-related and in love till the end of the movie. Thank you.

Latersssssss, I’m going to bed so I can plan my dreams about my bae, Mr-Vikram-Sexy-Rathore. In my dream scenario, I’ll be Tabu dancing/sniffing Vikrams jacket, and that young man watching/pining for me can be Arjun Rampal. Err please ignore those random naked men/women plastered around me. Those are my sleep paralysis demons trying to wake me up from this glorious dream. 🫨🫨

https://youtu.be/xacbRQoRjhQ?si=qEfmfsq5I_T6QIA7

Originally posted by: Stone-Cold

I agree people/ don't let anyone blackmail you into thinking Pardes is better then Jawan.

here is a great example from Jaya on why you should vote Jawan over Pardes

OH YOU DID NOT JUST DIG UP MY PAST AND THROW IT BACK IN MY FACE. Ladies and gentleman, this is a low blow by the topic-maker who by all accounts should remain objective.

This review cannot be used in the court of law as I was intoxicated by my love for SRK while writing it. Jawan is a great movie but it cannot be compared to my love for Pardes. I was only 5 years old when Pardes came out so forgive me if you cannot understand my review from 1997.

PARDES GOO GAA GA REVIEW 👶🏼

Goo goo gaa gaa! Me saw Shahrukh Khan movie Pardes and wowee it was so much fun! Shahrukh Khan was like zoom zoom superhero, flying through the air with his cool moves! The story was like peekaboo, full of surprises and giggles! The songs were like yummy yummy cookies, making me dance and wiggle my little toes! The colors were like boom boom fireworks, so bright and pretty! Everyone in the movie was like big cuddly teddy bears, giving hugs and making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Pardes is like magic potion, making my heart go boom boom with happiness! Shahrukh Khan is my hero, hooray for Pardes! Goo goo gaa gaa!

Shahrukh Khan, you are my sunshine, my moon, my twinkle twinkle little star! Every time I see your face on the screen, my heart goes pitter patter like raindrops on a windowpane! Your smile is like a rainbow after a storm, filling my world with colors and joy! When you dance, it's like magic sprinkles on a cupcake, making everything sweeter! I want to cuddle you like a fluffy teddy bear and hold your hand like a precious treasure! You make my heart go zoom zoom with love, and I just want to shout from the rooftops, "I love you, Shahrukh Khan!" Goo goo gaa gaa, you are my Bollywood prince charming, my one and only superstar!

Shahrukh Khan is like my superhero! He's so cool and brave, just like Spider-Man! When I watch his movie Pardes, I feel like I'm flying on a magic carpet, zooming through the clouds! His smile is like sunshine on a rainy day, making everything better! I love how he sings and dances, it's like a party in my heart! Pardes is my favorite movie ever because it's full of adventure and love, just like a fairy tale! I wish I could meet Shahrukh Khan and give him the biggest hug ever! He's the bestest actor in the whole wide world! GOO GOO GAGA!

Goo goo gaa gaa FF you Rock!!

But for the love of God please please don't post that Srk gif beating drums which are not seen in the gif. Someone had mentioned some other meaning to it and since then am not able to remove it from my mind. So everytime you post that gif it looks different to me in meaning so please request not to post that please

And yes Pardes all the way

Pardes !!

Originally posted by: Stone-Cold

Pardes is good. Jawan is great

Originally posted by: Bekind

Love Padres. I wonder why Srk never worked with mahima?

Originally posted by: wat_up

u mean worked with each other again? So many pardes shippers here

Yup. I really enjoyed their chemistry in the movie.

If Pardes wins over Jawan I’m going to off myself so I can come back as a rat or roach to haunt, torture whoever voted for Pardes, until you meet with the same fate as mine. Maybe I should came back as Vikram Rathore and whip you all with a belt until you turn blue IDK but there’s still time to decide which one I will back as but you better believe I’m sure of the rest 😡😡😡

Originally posted by: Beautyful_Mess

If Pardes wins over Jawan I’m going to off myself so I can come back as a rat or roach to haunt, torture whoever voted for Pardes, until you meet with the same fate as mine. Maybe I should came back as Vikram Rathore and whip you all with a belt until you turn blue IDK but there’s still time to decide which one I will back as but you better believe I’m sure of the rest 😡😡😡