Door hoke bhi paas ho tum - One Shot for ViDev - Page 2

We all have seen the funnier side of Carljung but fact is she is the one person who cried a lot after the show stopped. Her one lines , her memes , her descriptions were stress relievers for us. Carl was seriously so much attached to this show.

Originally posted by: Revutty

I tried reading your FF. But in between I cried a lot seeing Sejal, Vidhi and the way emotions are portrayed by you. So I thought may be after some hours I will be able to give reviews but again I read the same emotional rollercoaster stucked me so hard. I thought if I write an OS may be my mood will change. But it didn't turned romantic , kya karun 😭😭😭 I never thought this show has so much impact on me.

Carl jiss tarah good bye bolke gayi I can feel her pain from heart .😭😭. Iss show ke zariye forum mein jitne bhi friends paaayi unn sabko miss kar rahi hoon. Joh bhi vms, BTS, FFs, OS, sns ki details of episode, special threads sab miss karungi ......Iss show ka season 2 hona chahiye with same cast Iqbal and Rachna

very emotional 😢

thanks dear.

😍🥰

Missing them yaar Suma 😔.

This story was so sad... Kaash Vidhi Dev ki mann ki baat samaj paati... Those times of Dev where he was in love with her but wouldn't accept it and ended hurting both her and himself was so emotional to watch and portrayed so beautifully by Iqbal that one could actually feel it.. Got the same feeling from your story

So true. Those days when Dev used to feel insecure seeing Arjun getting close with Vidhi were treat to watch

Originally posted by: Revutty

Missing them yaar Suma 😔.

True .

Emotion and Depth: You've done a good job in portraying the emotional turmoil both Dev and Vidhi are going through. Their thoughts are well-expressed, and the reader can feel their inner struggle, confusion, and pain.

Dialogue and Interaction: The dialogue between Dev and Vidhi is heartfelt and genuine. It reveals their perspectives and helps the reader understand their feelings better. However, you might want to consider varying the sentence structure and length in dialogues to maintain a natural flow and prevent it from becoming too repetitive.

Description and Setting: You've created a vivid setting by describing their surroundings and actions. This helps immerse the reader in the scene. However, be mindful of over-description. Sometimes, less can be more when it comes to setting the scene, especially in emotional moments.

Character Motivations and Development: Both Dev and Vidhi's motivations and internal struggles are clear. Their conflicting emotions make them relatable and three-dimensional characters. Make sure to continue developing their characters as the story progresses.

Pacing: The pacing is well-balanced, allowing the reader to understand the characters' thoughts and emotions without feeling rushed. The scene flows smoothly, capturing the progression of emotions and reactions.

Show vs. Tell: You've effectively shown the characters' emotions through their thoughts and actions, but in some places, there's room for further "showing" rather than "telling." For instance, instead of directly stating that Vidhi has teary eyes, you could describe her eyes glistening with unshed tears or her voice trembling as she speaks.

Formatting: Since the text is quite long, it might benefit from being divided into paragraphs or sections, making it easier for readers to follow along and process the dialogue and emotions.

Ending: The scene ends with a poignant moment of Dev hugging Rocky. This adds an emotional touch and reinforces the connection between the characters and their surroundings.

Thank you so much for the detailed review and pointing out my mistakes . I am really a bad writer as I lacks consistency many times. Thank you so much for highlighting the issues of my writing style.