Meerab couldn't take it anymore. She had been feeling completely drained and numb since the past week. Since Murtasim had given her freedom. A lone tear slipped out of her eyes. She didn't know why the image of his tears kept on breaking her inside, over and over again. He had given her what she had always asked for right? But no, nothing was the same anymore.
To put it simply, she missed him. A lot. She gulped down the sob that threatened to escape her. She missed waking up to his sprawled out form on the diwan. She missed fighting with him for mirror space when getting ready in the mornings. She missed the sparkle in his eyes that always preceded his teasing. She missed his smile, his exasperation and most importantly she missed the love that shone in his eyes for her when he looked at her. She hadn't recognized the emotion until it had been replaced by betrayal.
-----
Her father had taken her back to the Khan mansion for Maryam's nikaah. She was dreading going inside to Ma Begum's hatred and Haya's taunts. She took a deep breath. She had to stay strong. She had come here to make sure Mariam was okay...and to at least catch a glimpse of her husband. She made up her mind and went inside.
Meerab couldn't find Murtasim anywhere. She had already dodged Ma Begum's anger with the intervention of her father. Thank god for small mercies. Where was her husband? Just then she caught sight of Bakhtu bhai and went towards him. He looked at her startled. "Bakhtu bhai, Where is Murtasim?", she asked him desperately.
He looked at her for a while sadly and replied, "He went to his room to take a important call". Meerab nodded her thanks and left.
-----
He looks tired, Meerab thought as she took in the gaunt figure of her husband. Meerab noted the shadows under his eyes. She knew it will match her own if she took off her makeup. She called out hesitantly, "Murtasim...". Murtasim whipped around and looked at her startled. He hadn't expected her.
Meerab couldn't control the rush of emotions overwhelming her as she looked into his eyes. He looked so beat up. She had done that to him. She rushed towards him and threw her arms around him, holding him close. Murtasim went rigid in her arms. She didn't care, she just tightened her arms and started sobbing on his chest. The feelings she had been holding onto for the past week burst out of her.
"I'm sorry Murtasim. I am really sorry", she said repeatedly in a throaty whisper full of pain. "I didn't know Anas was Malik Zubair. I should have listened to you, I know...I messed up. I am so sorry Murtasim". He stayed silent and didn't reciprocate her hug.
After a while she pulled away and looked at him, his jaw was set. He was not going to forgive her now. But will he ever? He hadn't told her what he meant when he gave her freedom. Is she going to lose him forever. No. She clutched her chest, even the thought hurt.
"Will you at least talk to me?", she asked softly wiping her eyes. He continued looking at her stonily. Meerab just nodded shakily and walked away from him. Murtasim watched his wife's retreating form and felt the familiar pain in his chest.
---------
"It's okay love. Don't cry", Meerab said consolingly as she patted her crying sister-in-law. "I know everything is happening so fast that you can barely register everything but maybe this is what God has in store for your future. Naurez might love and cherish you as you deserve", Meerab said softly.
Mariam cried some more, "But you always told me what happened between you and bhai was a mistake Meerab. What if my wedding is also one?", she asked looking frightened. "What will happen if his family gets to know I eloped and...and..", she cried unable to finish her thought.
Meerab stroked her back soothingly and said, "I was wrong Mariam. Whatever happened between your bhai and I...", she trailed off. "I don't think it's a mistake anymore. We just have to figure out how to get past this phase. And even if Naurez finds the truth and something happens, I...we will be there for you. We will help you deal with the consequences", she said firmly. "So please don't cry love", Meerab finished softly. Mariam looked scared.
"Meerab!", Mariam asked suddenly. "How did you find out Anas was Malik Zubair?", Mariam asked curiously. Meerab gritted her teeth, "Haya conveniently had recorded a video of me helping you leave the house with Anas. She told everyone that she asked us to stop but we didn't listen", Meerab said suppressing her rage.
Mariam looked at her shocked, "But...but...she never did that". Meerab gave her a you-know-Haya look. "Oh!", Mariam said as realization dawned on her. "She knew Anas was Malik Zubair, didn't she? From back when he tried to kidnap you", she said softly still in shock. Meerab only nodded.
"Oh God! How could she do something like that? I never knew someone could be this cruel, that too someone who I considered as my own sister. If she had told us the truth from the start...it never would have come to this", Mariam finished blinking tears of frustration and rage out of her eyes.
"She told me later she did that to throw me out of the house", Meerab laughed bitterly, "Well, she succeeded alright. No one believes me or even questions her". Mariam looked shocked again. "She did that to get Murtasim bhai", she said matter of fact. "I'm so sorry Meerab, you are in this mess because of me. If only I hadn't threatened to kill myself", she said guiltily.
"I'll go and tell bhai the truth", Mariam said getting up. Meerab stopped her. "Not now Mariam, we don't even know if he will believe us. When I tried explaining everything he didn't even speak an word. He is more angry and hurt that I didn't trust him. Did he talk to you?", Meerab asked. Mariam shook her head. Meerab sighed. "It's your wedding today and I came here after a lot of struggle. Let's finish it well and then think about everything else, alright?", she said. "But Meerab..."
"Leave all that. Try this necklace", Meerab said fake cheerily ignoring the pain that is soon becoming a constant in her heart.
-------
"Come on Meerab, it's getting late", Meerab looked at her father sadly. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to be with her husband. She was feeling everything he once told her she will. But seems like the choice had been snatched away from her. She went to say her goodbye.
Meerab sensed a change in Murtasim but she couldn't place what it was. She approached him cautiously. Murtasim looked at her with a bit of confusion in his eyes, "I...I just came to say I'm leaving", she said.
Murtasim's eyes teared up but he stayed quiet and just watched her. Meerab slowly brought her hands to his cheeks and stroked the tears away. She smiled sadly, "Now I know what you meant when you said you couldn't stand my tears. I...I'm sorry I didn't take care of you as wished. I should have tried harder", she said swallowing the lump in her throat. "I missed you, can you believe it. After everything we have been through. Finally huh", she laughed bitterly. She took a deep breath. "I guess that's it. Papa is waiting for me. I'll get going now", she said removing her hands from her face.
As she started to walk away Murtasim held her hands stopping her, "Did you mean it? What you told Mariam? You didn't do all that just to get away from me? You don't think our marriage was a mistake?", he asked softly yet desperately.
Meerab turned around shaking off the initial shock of him having heard her conversation with Mariam. She took both of his hands in hers and said with tears in her eyes, "How can our marriage be a mistake when it gave me you?", she asked sincerely. "You are the best and the most precious thing that has ever happened to me Murtasim. I never it showed it to you, but I don't think I can manage to spend the rest of my life without you by my side. It's funny, but I think you have been a great companion to me till now. You have held my hand and stood by me Murtasim. How can I regret the relationship that gave me all that?", she smiled sadly.
Murtasim pulled her into his arms and let the tears flow. Meerab held on to him tightly. They are just going to be fine.
So.... I just wanted to see them hug so I wrote thisđ€Ł. Hope you guys liked it. Do react and leave your comments!
Thanks for reading!
Jodha Akbar
