Originally posted by: Mari_a
I am gonna say it,🤪i feel like Kumuda and slender-rose stands on opposite ends of a spectrum.
I just supports logic mari. It's just that I'm tired by witnessing Meerab being rude labelled as strong and Murtasim being slightly pissed as toxic.
Meerab has been disrespectful since the beginning of the drama for no reason, and that's the main problem for me since beginning. She goes around bluffing about disrespect and respect, treating him like a driver, insulting him at his own house and triggering him. Murtasim has been a straight forward guy since beginning and reacts to situation, depending upon which button has been pressed. If Meerab would have been sensible and strong then she would have simply resort to being reserved and ignoring Murtasim, as that's what a girl must do, then messing with an angry boy.
I connect with Murtasim because he is very logical and reasonable like me. I don't connect with Meerab because honestly despite being a lot younger than her, I've seen life more than her. I was born in a well off family outside Pakistan. I used to spend my free time in shopping and dinning with the family. I was spoilt and was treated like a princess being the youngest, yet when difficulties arises in my life I don't resort to blame game.
Even in mid teens I've gone through financial and emotional suffering, migration, deaths in family and bullying. A girl who slept in air conditioned room always, all of a sudden was made to sleep in a room without even a fan numerous times because of load shedding, a girl who travelled in Fortuner, Mercedes and Cadillac was then travelling in an auto richshaw in Karachi, a girl who studied in expensive school also then studied in a school having way less facilities, because of circumtances. But I don't remember making my family's life hell or blaming them for it. They were as innocent as me and I learned that life is all about changes. It never goes smooth or rough, it keeps fluctuating between them. Like Murtasim, I'm very realistic. I don't dwell in past, instead I accepts everything as it comes and moves on, trying to make my present and future better.
My parents taught me patience and life made me experience it, I'm grateful for it because I think hard times are necessary for making a person mature. Life is so much better than before. I am grateful to Allah for everything he gives me because still my life is a lot better than others. I have people around who smile no matter what and makes me smile too. I have numerous mercies by my Allah. Now when I look back at my life, I feel proud at my parents for raising me the way they did. They taught me and my sisters to stay strong and respectful no matter what situation arises.
Now tell me how can I connect with Meerab when she is exaggerating her problems, because her problems are almost nothing if compared to the people around me or my life. She has respect, honour and luxuries. She doesn't have to be wistful about basic necessities of life. She wants more I understand, but she should strive for it along with being grateful of what she has, instead of disregarding everything.
The reason why I say that Meerab should change her behavior is because generally in real world this behavior of girls invite troubles. I was a counselor at the age of fourteen, teaching boys and girls who were a lot elder than me. Believe me a boy as respectful as Murtasim is rare but even disrespectful boys hesitated to communicate with me or my sisters, even when we didn't used to shout and bluff about strength like Meerab, you know why. Because we used to remain reserved.
Believe me when a girl remains reserved, her grace uplifts. People around starts to develop respect for her and her grace becomes admirable but when a girl indulges in nonsense, she becomes accessible to mess with. Remaining reserved and poised make her inaccessible for disrespect.
These boys used to be disrespectful with other girls because they used to have a similar attitude like Meerab and entertain it instead of ignoring. Ignoring doesn't always means being weak or timid but sometimes it symbolizes your standard, that you are too good for entertaining nonsense. That's where your strength showcases.
Mari I believe in gender equality deeply, but I also understands the temperament of both genders. Men in general has a high level of tolerance for women than for their own gender, like we can see how Murtasim gets angry at all the men around too quickly but remains cool with women at his home. An educated man is always a lion for the outside world, to protect his family and honour. That's what Murtasim does. But at the same time they have a limit of tolerance for women too.
I have seen man around me getting treated the way Murtasim gets treated by Meerab and you know several marriages has been ruined because of the same reason. Most of the men when goes outside to earn money, they do not earn it with the intention of spending it on their self instead they earns it to provide the best for their family. They construct buildings in summer, bears sunlight, works tirelessly in sweat, so that at the end of the day when they return home with food, they could witness the smile on their family's face.
Now it's a woman's duty to cherish his hardwork and respect his efforts, instead of disturbing his mental health. I don't say that women shouldn't have an agency, identity or Independence. They must have these because these are the necessities of a women's life. But when a women wants to put her opinion infront of her man, she should do it respectfully not harshly.
Where men has a lot of tolerance for women, they also have a high level of anger compared to women, which they conceals but when it unleashes, it only brings trouble. A disrespectful attitude is something which triggers every man in general.
Murtasim sacrificed his dream life, married Meerab, fights with his rivals, chose naurez for Maryam, in all this he doesn't have any personal interest. He does it for others best, although he is wrong sometimes but his intentions are always for the best of others.
I wouldn't be bothered with Meerab's stupidity if she had a respectful approach but her attitude is a big 'No' for me.
If Meerab had this attitude with a boy who was as disrespectful as her, I wouldn't have had much problem because they would be on the same page, but here the man opposite to her is someone who treasures others respect as his own, so he deserves the same.
Meerab should express her opinions, I don't have problem with it but she must change her way of expressing it. If she can't respect Murtasim then she must stop expecting the same from him, because if he is obligated to fulfill his duties as a husband, she is also obligated for it as a wife. But she keeps dragging and blaming him for her miseries when in reality he never even had a connection with them, still he isn't complaining and it proves the level of his respect for his relations.
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