Previously On...
Armaan, Riddhima, and Simran convince Muskaan's family to accept her relationship with Rahul.
RaMusk get roka-fied.
Armaan & Riddhima spend time together.
Track 59 - Kho Gaye, Taaruk Raina
"The food is seriously so good, Riddhima!" Rishika exclaimed as she dug into her salad with gusto. Riddhima had elected to cook for their party, insisting that Armaan take a break.
"I feel you're a chef by profession more than anything else," she told him. "Why don't you move your bed to the kitchen too? It'll be easier na?"
"Haha," Armaan had laughed sarcastically but had ended up giving in, provided that Riddhima let him help, which she had been happy to do. It was a lot of fun too - just the two of them, having fun, playfully cooking and cleaning as they went. Riddhima could almost envision spending the rest of her life with Armaan this way. The thought made her smile.
It had been an added incentive that everyone loved the food, but then again, she'd always been a proficient cook. Everyone had been so happy, riding the high from Rahul & Muskaan's engagement — laughing, cheering, merry making — which only increased when Shilpa and Karan announced their relationship.
The two of them had walked into the very spacious dining room, that Riddhima had been wondering was ever used when she'd first come to see Rahul with Armaan, but had realized it very much was when guests started arriving for the festivities, fashionably late, hands entwined, eyes shining, and large smiles.
"Good morning," Armaan greeted them, his eyes zeroing in on their hands almost immediately. He looked up and raised an eyebrow at them, smirking when he saw Karan look away. Armaan had always known that Karan was the shyer one of the two.
"We have an announcement to make," Shilpa stated defiantly.
"Never would've guessed," Rahul groused, frowning at her, which confused Shilpa. Rahul had always been such a staunch supporter.
"Jaanaaaaa," Armaan sang, all sorts of smug. "Let her talk."
"Shut up!" Rahul snapped, making Armaan laugh even more.
"No!" Armaan exclaimed, bringing his hands together to make a heart as he did so.
"You're the literal worst," Rahul replied.
By now, everyone had turned their attention from Shilpa to the bickering duo, irritating her to no end. "Not that anyone cares, apparently," she harrumphed, "but Karan and I are dating."
All talking on the table stopped for a moment, everyone turning to the newly minted couple. The silence was broken by Armaan whistling loudly in celebration. "THAT'S MY GIRL!" He cried. "I LOVE YOU, SHILPA! YOU'RE THE BEST!"
Then, he turned to Rahul, his hand out. "Pay up!"
"I hate you," Rahul told both Karan & Shilpa before reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet. He handed Armaan a thousand bucks.
"Easiest money I ever made!" Armaan cheered. "Thank you!" He told the couple.
"You bet on us?" Karan asked, disbelieving.
"Pshhh," Armaan scoffed. "With the way you were looking at Shilpa during the wedding? You bet your arse we did!"
"How was I looking at her?" Karan questioned.
"Like you're in love with her," Rahul told him. "Keep up, Karan."
"Nahhh," Armaan cut in. "He's looked at Shilpa like that for a solid year now. At least. He was looking differently."
"Differently how?" Shilpa asked, gaining interest in the conversation. "And, he didn't look at me like he's in love with me," she added as an afterthought.
"Oh, Shilpa," Armaan sighed. "Still so naive in matters of the heart. My young grasshopper, you have so much to learn! But… don't you worry. Dr. Love will teach you everything he knows!"
"Armaan," Shilpa reprimanded. "You were saying…"
"Right," Armaan agreed. "How was he looking at you? Like you looked at him when you thought no one was looking. Like you're his oasis in the desert. I knew he was going to confess within the month. But… Not bad, mere sher! You didn't even wait two whole weeks. I am so proud. Clearly, I've been underestimating you," he told Karan, making the man blush. It was certainly a sight to see the normally confident and composed Karan Kapoor blushing so hard. But then again, love made you do unexpected things, didn't it?
"I never looked at him like that. Just for the record," Shilpa argued.
"Ahhh, so naive, so naive!" Armaan replied, his tone gaining that joking condescension. He pulled Shilpa into a hug after that. "I'm so happy for you," he murmured. "Congratulations!" He exclaimed, dropping an affectionate kiss to the top of her head.
They both turned away after that, surreptitiously wiping the tears that had fallen from their eyes. Everyone took turns congratulating the couple and then it was story time.
"Well, actually…" Shilpa said. "You really underestimated Karan, Armaan. He confessed like… Two days after the wedding. But we wanted to tell everyone together and he did it at the airport before seeing me off, so we decided to keep it to ourselves for a while before we saw everyone again. And then Rahul announced his engagement, so we didn't want to take away his spotlight so we waited till everything was done."
"Awwww, you're so cute!" Rahul cried, pulling Shilpa's cheek. "So thoughtful. Thank you, Shilpa!"
"Ahhh! Both my kids. All grown up. Finally finding love. Moral of the story, everyone… Always tell someone when you're in love with them because they might be in love with you too!" Armaan exclaimed, pulling both Shilpa & Rahul into a hug.
"You're an idiot," Shilpa chuckled, hugging him back.
"You love it!" Armaan bragged.
"Sadly," Shilpa confirmed.
"Congratulations, Karan!" Riddhima said, smiling happily. She really was happy. For Karan and Shilpa. Whatever their issues, Shilpa was still her sister, and she'd been in love with Karan for so long. Riddhima didn't know if she would ever share the sort of relationship with Shilpa that she did with Anjali, but in the past few weeks, the two of them had reached a tentative understanding and become friends, if nothing else. Shilpa was easy to love, Riddhima had realized. She was the kind of person you couldn't help but adore. And much as she'd tried to maintain her distance, Riddhima couldn't deny that she liked Shilpa.
And, she'd always had a soft spot for Karan, ever since the day they'd met. There was something about him that called to her. It felt as if she'd known him all her life. Karan seemed to be like the missing piece of a puzzle… Somehow always on the back of your mind, even without you realizing it, and then when you stumble across it on a random day, completing something that was unfinished.
"Thanks, Di!" Karan cried, pulling her in for a hug.
"I'm glad you finally told her," Riddhima said.
"Couldn't have done it without you," Karan answered. "Thank you so much for giving me that push. This is all because of you."
Riddhima waved him off, laughing. "I didn't do anything. It was all you. I just happened to be there at the right place at the right time. Happenstance."
"You made me realize I was in love with Shilpa," Karan protested.
"I merely helped you acknowledge something you'd already known in your heart for a long time, Karan. Don't give me too much credit. You were the one who were brave enough to confess," Riddhima told him.
Karan grinned at her and pulled her into another hug. "You're the best!"
"Di?" Shilpa interrupted, nervous and timid. While Shilpa did address Riddhima with the moniker of an elder sister, it was still obvious that there were some lingering doubts about her right to do so.
Riddhima turned to Shilpa, an easy smile on her face. She looked at Shilpa questioningly, making the other girl say, "Thank you. Karan told me how you helped him."
"Don't thank me!" Riddhima repeated. Then, she opened her arm which wasn't wound around Karan in invitation and Shilpa didn't think twice before rushing and hugging her sister.
Armaan caught Riddhima's eye as she hugged her younger siblings and smiled beautifully, making Riddhima's smile grow infinitely wider. It was good to have him back.
________
"Armaan!" Riddhima called sometime later as Armaan and Muskaan ganged up on a sulking Rahul.
"Ridzy? Kya hua? You look so tense?" Muskaan asked.
"Yaar, woh meri payal ka ek ghunghroo gir gaya and I can't find it anywhere," Riddhima lamented. Turning to Armaan, she added, "Can you please take me to that room where I found you yesterday? Maybe it's fallen there. I'd go by myself but this house is like a never ending maze." She directed the last bit at Rahul who chuckled.
"I'll take you," Armaan replied. "But don't worry. It's not a big deal if you don't find it. Ek ghungroo hi toh hai. No one will find out."
"Armaan," Riddhima answered patiently, as if talking to a child. "I'd borrowed them from Di."
"Oh!" Armaan exclaimed. "What are we still doing here? Anjy will kill all of us if it's missing. Come on, let's go! Now!"
"Finally," Riddhima muttered. "Let's go."
The two of them walked away from Rahul & Muskaan, leaving Rahul with more concerns. With every passing moment, it was becoming clear to Rahul that things had changed between Armaan & Riddhima. He hadn't missed the constant looks, the secret smiles, the mindless chatter. It was as if he'd stepped back in time. As if Armaan & Riddhima were still dating secretly with their friends none the wiser. If his instincts were correct, they probably were. Now, he just needed to decide if he should actually confront Armaan over it or not.
________
"Don't worry, Basket," Armaan murmured soothingly. "We'll find it."
"Hmmm," Riddhima hummed, utterly unconvinced. Armaan sighed but let her be. He understood her worries. Anjali had always been very particular about her things. It was a rare occurrence that she loaned anything to even Riddhima. To not return the payal the way she'd gotten it would mean that Anjali would never let Riddhima borrow anything from her ever again. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and rubbed it, hoping to comfort her, but didn't succeed much.
However, he didn't have time to dwell on it because just as they turned the corridor towards the room they were looking for, they could hear raised voices. Immediately on alert, Armaan gestured for Riddhima to keep quiet. It was unsettling to hear this because the only people at home were their closest friends and family.
As they walked closer, it became apparent that one of the voices belonged to Dr. Shashank, which made the two of them even more suspicious.
"How could you do this?" Shashank was saying. "This is… It's wrong, Karan! Shilpa is Riddhima's sister!"
"Karan?" Armaan whispered, confused. "Why does Dr. Shashank care if Karan is dating Shilpa?"
Riddhima looked at him and shrugged, just as confused.
"How does it make a difference?" Karan asked.
"Of course it makes a difference!" Shashank burst out. "Do you need me to spell it out for you? I thought you were smarter than that!"
"Oh, I understand perfectly," Karan replied. "Shilpa and Riddhima Di might share genes, but Riddhima Di and I don't, Dad," the last word spat out with hatred. "Thankfully. She's better off without having your blood run in her veins, unlike me who is cursed to live with the fact that you're my birth father!"
"Dad?" Riddhima whispered, shocked. "Armaan… what's happening?"
"I don't know," Armaan answered helplessly, equally shocked. Karan had never breathed a word about this to him. He pulled Riddhima into a hug. "It's going to be okay," he promised. "I'll make it okay. Okay?"
Riddhima nodded against his chest, but didn't say anything. The two of them stood rooted at their spot while the argument inside raged on.
"It's still wrong!" Shashank insisted.
"It's not," Karan countered. "Shilpa is the blood half-sister of my adoptive step sister. We don't share any parents. The most familial connection we share is that we both think of Riddhima Di as our elder sister, but that doesn't mean anything, because you made sure I never got to know her better."
"Karan…" Shashank sighed. "Does Shilpa even know?"
"What?" Karan asked fiercely. "That you left me. You abandoned me. My mother died and you didn't want anything to do with me. You couldn't even honour Smriti Maa's last wish. She wanted us to be a family, for me to be her son. But… You made Maa and Papa take me with them instead of raising me on your own like you should have. You never took responsibility for any of your actions. You cheated on Smriti Maa with my mom and then abandoned both of us as well. Yes, she does. And it's not a problem for her. She understands. Anyway, how is it any of your business what Shilpa knows and doesn't? After giving me up the way you did, what makes you think you have any right to dictate what I can and can't do?"
That was Riddhima's tipping point. Hearing about how her father had abandoned his own child made Riddhima keel over. Her knees gave out and she fell to the floor, Armaan right beside her, cushioning her fall. He hugged her tightly and she hid her face in his chest, still trying to comprehend what she had heard.
"Shhhhh," Armaan soothed. "Basket… It's going to be okay. Main hoon na. Main sab theek kar dunga. I promise. Stop crying, please. You know I hate it when you cry."
"Armaan!" She croaked, pushing herself closer to him, clinging to him like he was her lifeline, which maybe he was. In the past month or so, so much had changed in her life. She didn't know who to trust, who to turn to, what to do with herself. She'd gone through so many ups and downs, but Armaan had always been there, helping her as best as he could, supporting her, guiding her, listening to her even when she'd betrayed his trust. She didn't know who else to turn to but him. He'd always been her biggest strength, her rock, her knight in shining armour.
Oblivious to her breakdown, Karan and Shashank continued arguing before Karan left the room, only to come face to face with Armaan & Riddhima on the floor.
"Di," he whispered, aghast. Despite all the issues Karan had with Shashank, he knew that Shashank had been a good father to his sisters. He hadn't ever wanted them to find out. He'd known how finding her father's truth had broken Shilpa and he didn't want his sisters to go through the same pain. He could've told them the truth at any point. He'd had countless chances to do so. But he hadn't, because he didn't want to hurt them. And now, for Riddhima to find out this way… He didn't know what to do.
Armaan looked up at the sound of his voice. If he had left the room, it wouldn't be long before Dr. Shashank did so too. "Basket," Armaan whispered lowly. "We have to go."
Riddhima seemed oblivious to his pleas, clinging to him tight but otherwise not hearing him. Sighing, Armaan pushed her away a little, despite her obvious attempts to not leave the security of his arms. "Riddhima," he implored. "We have to go somewhere else. Do you want Dr. Shashank to see you?"
Riddhima snapped out of her haze at that and shook her head vigorously. Armaan stood up and helped her up as well, gesturing for Karan to follow him. The three of them found another empty room. Armaan made Riddhima sit on the bed and helped her drink some water as he instructed Karan to shut the door. Once Riddhima had managed to calm down a little, Armaan turned to the other man. "Talk," he demanded.
Karan sighed. "It's a long and complicated story."
"We have all the time in the world for this," Armaan promised, but it was Riddhima's quiet, almost silent, "Please," that finally made Karan give in.
"I guess, I'll just start from the beginning. This is what Maa and Papa told me when I was old enough to understand everything. So, it should be good enough for you as well.
From what I know, after Dr. Shashank and Smriti Maa adopted Riddhima Di, they started trying for another child a couple years after that. But, there were complications when Anjali Di was born which is why Smriti Maa was having difficulty in getting pregnant again. As I'm sure you can guess, this caused stress between her and Dr. Shashank. I guess they weren't able to handle all the problems that came after that and ended up separating.
Smriti Maa took Anjali Di with her but Dr. Shashank insisted on keeping Riddhima Di with him. Maa said it's because Dr. Shashank had always been a little over protective over Riddhima Di… As a way of making up to Padma Aunty for whatever had happened. And Smriti Maa also felt that since they're separating, it would be unfair if one of them got to keep both the kids.
While they were separated, Dr. Shashank met my mom and they got involved romantically. I was born a couple years later, but by then, Dr. Shashank had already separated from my mom. She died giving birth to me, and Nani took me in. I had minimal contact with Dr. Shashank in those years. He visited me once or twice a month, I think.
Things had started getting better between him and Smriti Maa, by then, so he spent all his time convincing her to get back with him. Eventually, she did agree, but he didn't tell her about me… Because he was afraid that she would leave him again if she found out. But, of course, such things never stay hidden, and Smriti Maa found out. When she did, she insisted on bringing me home with her as well. Things had gotten tense between her and Dr. Shashank again, of course, but she still wanted me to be a part of the family.
In that time, we met quite a few times and Riddhima Di & I quickly became close. But, we were all very young, so Smriti Maa and Nani decided it would be better if we went slow about me moving in. Dr. Shashank had never wanted that. He'd only agreed to appease Smriti Maa because she'd threatened to leave forever if he didn't accept me. Sadly, before I could move in, Smriti Maa passed away.
After that, Dr. Shashank gave up all pretense. He still looked after me financially, but had nothing else to do with me. The monthly visits stopped too. I was 6 years old then, I think. Maa and Papa easily filled the vacuum he'd left behind. I think they took it upon themselves to make sure that I never felt the absence of parents, especially after what Dr. Shashank did.
When I was 10, just a few months after Maa and Papa came to the States, Nani passed away too. That's when Papa flew in and took me back with him. And I've lived with them ever since. Dr. Shashank only kept a cursory check on me through Maa. He'd call maybe once in a month or two to see how I was doing, but he never spoke to me personally.
That day at Armaan's house when I met all of you? That was the first time I'd seen Dr. Shashank in almost twenty years."
Turning to Armaan, he added, "You always wonder why I never believed in love, didn't you? Well, this is why. After everything that Dr. Shashank did, I didn't know how to.
It's not that I wasn't happy with my life, because I am. Nani, Maa, Papa, even Smriti Maa… They've all given me so much love. Maa and Papa raised me as if I was their own. They never differentiated between me and Rohan. They love me and I love them. I'm glad I have them.
I guess, in a very twisted way, I'm also thankful to Dr. Shashank. If he hadn't done what he did, I would have never had Maa and Papa. But, I still do blame him. He was my father. He had a responsibility towards me. My mom loved him. She deserved better too. Both of us did. I won't ever forgive him for that. Ever."
Crouching in front of Riddhima, he took her shaking hands in his own and rubbed them to warm them up. "I'm sorry. I never wanted you to find out. He may have abandoned me, but from what I understand, he's been a decent father to you and Anjali Di. I didn't want that to change. I never intended to create any problems for you. I'm really sorry."
"Tu— tum kyu sorry keh rahe ho?" Riddhima croaked. "I— I'm sorry, Karan. Pa— Papa treated you and your mom so badly. He shouldn't have. I'm really sorry! I can keep apologizing for the rest of my life, but it will never be enough. I'm so sorry!"
"No!" Karan exclaimed. "Riddhima Di, I promise… Ekdum dil se… I never blamed you, or Anjali Di. Whatever happened wasn't your fault. You didn't make Dr. Shashank do anything. You were a kid back then yourself. He was the adult. He made the decision to step away. That's on him. Not on you."
"But… All these years, he raised me, while you didn't have a dad," Riddhima sobbed.
"Aap aisa kyu sochte ho?" Karan asked. "I had a dad, Di. Papa is the best dad a boy could ever wish for. For me, he's my dad. He's always been, always will be. I'm sure he was a much better father to me than Dr. Shashank could have ever been."
"Lekin — " Riddhima protested.
"No," Karan cut her off. "Aap mujhe ek baat batao, if you had to choose between your birth father and your adoptive father, who would you choose? Mr. Kartik Malhotra or Dr. Shashank Gupta?"
Riddhima stilled. The answer was obvious. And it broke her heart. Because despite everything, despite not having spoken to her father properly in months now, having such a tense relationship with him since years now, even after finding out how he'd abandoned a child… She would still choose Shashank. Because Shashank chose her. He chose her when her own birth father didn't.
"It's okay," Karan soothed, understanding her dilemma. "You don't have to feel guilty. If I were in your shoes, I'd choose Dr. Shashank too, even if I knew he wasn't a good father to someone else, because he was one to me. He was the father who chose me when the man who should have been my father abandoned me.
Just like you'd choose him, I'd choose Papa. Every time. Papa is to me what Dr. Shashank is to you. He's my dad. I know that 10, 20, 30 years down the line, no matter where we are, how good or bad my relationship with him is, he'll be my dad. I'll love him and he'll love me, and we will always be there for each other.
I don't need Dr. Shashank in my life, Di. I never did. Because I had someone so much better. So, I don't have any complaints. Certainly not from you. But… You understand, right? I'm sure you understand better than anyone else. Despite having such a loving family and such a great childhood, there are some scars that those things can't heal. Even if I'm grateful for everything that happened because it gave me the family I have today, has made me the person I am today, I can't forgive Dr. Shashank for what he did to me."
"You're right," Riddhima agreed. "You're absolutely right. But… How do you not hate me? I hate myself!"
"Because it wasn't your fault," Karan shrugged.
He said it so easily, as if it was a fact. Which it was. It wasn't Riddhima's fault that Shashank was a bad father. And suddenly, Riddhima felt so ashamed of herself. She hadn't been anywhere near as gracious to Shilpa when she found out that, as Karan was being to her. In this time when she should have been comforting him, apologizing to him… He was the one looking after her, assuring her and soothing her.
Karan was seemingly a mind reader too, because he took one look at her and said, "Don't be too hard on yourself, Di. I've had years to come to terms with all this. I always knew about you and Anjali Di. I knew that while my father had left me, he'd raised two other daughters.
Time… It heals everything. And, if it can't, it certainly gives you the strength to face it. Someday, hopefully soon, you'll be where I am today. And things will get better."
He raised his hand and cupped her cheek. "Don't worry too much, okay?"
Riddhima nodded. "Do you want me to stay with you?" He asked her. She shook her head. "Go find Shilpa. I know you want to."
Karan ducked his head, suddenly shy. Riddhima laughed, pulling his cheek as she did. "Oh, and… You can tell her that I know."
"Thank you, Di!" He exclaimed. "You're the best!"
Belatedly, he realized he'd called her Di. "I can still call you Di, right?"
"Of course you can!" Riddhima cried vehemently.
Karan grinned, pulling her in for a hug. "Thank you."
After a final squeeze, he pulled away. Turning to Armaan, he asked, "You're gonna be okay?"
"Don't worry," Armaan assured, wiping his face. Armaan stepped forward to hug Karan. "You gonna be okay?"
"Of course," Karan answered immediately. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about me. I'm great. Honest."
Pulling back, he said, "I know ki saari duniya ki tension lena aap dono ki hobby hai… But you seriously don't have to worry about me. I'm good. I always knew all this. You're the ones I'm worried about. Please take care. And if you want to talk to me, don't think twice. We're still the same people, right?"
"Right," Armaan & Riddhima replied in unison. Karan laughed. "That's what I like to hear."
After one more quick group hug, Karan was out the door, humming a romantic melody, shaking off the entire conversation so easily as if it had never happened. He really seemed to be completely okay. Riddhima guessed he was right. He'd had the time to come to terms with it. Maybe that made all the difference in the world.
Once the door shut behind Karan, Armaan looked at Riddhima, opening his arms in invitation. She didn't think twice before rushing in, melting into his embrace.
"Papa!" She wailed, unable to comprehend it. How could her father do this? How could he abandon a child. He adopted her… And yet did what she'd been through to her own child? How could he? Did he have no conscience?
Armaan hugged her close, rubbing her back and arms in a soothing gesture, but otherwise not saying anything. He knew that Riddhima would need some time to come to terms with the revelation. It was a harrowing discovery and she was understandably shaken. He himself was. Whatever his issues might have been with Dr. Shashank, Armaan had always thought of him as an ideal father. To know that he was capable of such a horrendous thing was unimaginable to Armaan. And if he was so taken aback, he couldn't imagine how much worse it was for Riddhima. They might not be on the best of terms, but Dr. Shashank was still her father.
"Armaan, Papa Karan ke saath aisa kaise kar sakte hain?" Riddhima asked a few moments later, her voice hoarse with crying.
"I don't know," Armaan replied, not knowing what else to say. "Maybe, it's like Karan said… He didn't want to be reminded about how things had been between him and Smriti Aunty."
"But usme Karan ki kya galti? He deserved better!" Riddhima sobbed.
"He did," Armaan agreed. "I'm sorry."
"Tum kyu sorry bol rahe ho?" Riddhima asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"I didn't," Armaan answered. "But I'm sorry that you have to go through this. And I can't even do anything to make it better. So, I'm sorry."
Riddhima pushed herself closer to him. "You're doing so much by just being here. I can't imagine how I'd have reacted if I was alone… If I didn't have you beside me right now."
Armaan tightened his hold on her. "You'll get through this. I know you will."
Riddhima nodded against his chest. She had to believe she would. Otherwise, she didn't know what she'd do with herself.
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