Ahhh so much of AR into this part. loved it totally. finally they are moving forwards. I thought armaan is here to staff for long but he is already thinking about his going back. but there was a positivity in his thought.
I also want him to give in, which he is already losing control on. He had loved ridhima, he love her and will always do so. he can keep love for her locked or be open about it. but it will always be there.
Oh wow.. Armaan falling in love with Riddhima again
Loved AR moments ❤️
Hope to see more progress soon in their relation 😉
Armaan, Riddhima, and Simran convince Muskaan's family to accept her relationship with Rahul.
RaMusk get roka-fied.
Armaan & Riddhima spend time together.
"The food is seriously so good, Riddhima!" Rishika exclaimed as she dug into her salad with gusto. Riddhima had elected to cook for their party, insisting that Armaan take a break.
"I feel you're a chef by profession more than anything else," she told him. "Why don't you move your bed to the kitchen too? It'll be easier na?"
"Haha," Armaan had laughed sarcastically but had ended up giving in, provided that Riddhima let him help, which she had been happy to do. It was a lot of fun too - just the two of them, having fun, playfully cooking and cleaning as they went. Riddhima could almost envision spending the rest of her life with Armaan this way. The thought made her smile.
It had been an added incentive that everyone loved the food, but then again, she'd always been a proficient cook. Everyone had been so happy, riding the high from Rahul & Muskaan's engagement — laughing, cheering, merry making — which only increased when Shilpa and Karan announced their relationship.
The two of them had walked into the very spacious dining room, that Riddhima had been wondering was ever used when she'd first come to see Rahul with Armaan, but had realized it very much was when guests started arriving for the festivities, fashionably late, hands entwined, eyes shining, and large smiles.
"Good morning," Armaan greeted them, his eyes zeroing in on their hands almost immediately. He looked up and raised an eyebrow at them, smirking when he saw Karan look away. Armaan had always known that Karan was the shyer one of the two.
"We have an announcement to make," Shilpa stated defiantly.
"Never would've guessed," Rahul groused, frowning at her, which confused Shilpa. Rahul had always been such a staunch supporter.
"Jaanaaaaa," Armaan sang, all sorts of smug. "Let her talk."
"Shut up!" Rahul snapped, making Armaan laugh even more.
"No!" Armaan exclaimed, bringing his hands together to make a heart as he did so.
"You're the literal worst," Rahul replied.
By now, everyone had turned their attention from Shilpa to the bickering duo, irritating her to no end. "Not that anyone cares, apparently," she harrumphed, "but Karan and I are dating."
All talking on the table stopped for a moment, everyone turning to the newly minted couple. The silence was broken by Armaan whistling loudly in celebration. "THAT'S MY GIRL!" He cried. "I LOVE YOU, SHILPA! YOU'RE THE BEST!"
Then, he turned to Rahul, his hand out. "Pay up!"
"I hate you," Rahul told both Karan & Shilpa before reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet. He handed Armaan a thousand bucks.
"Easiest money I ever made!" Armaan cheered. "Thank you!" He told the couple.
"You bet on us?" Karan asked, disbelieving.
"Pshhh," Armaan scoffed. "With the way you were looking at Shilpa during the wedding? You bet your arse we did!"
"How was I looking at her?" Karan questioned.
"Like you're in love with her," Rahul told him. "Keep up, Karan."
"Nahhh," Armaan cut in. "He's looked at Shilpa like that for a solid year now. At least. He was looking differently."
"Differently how?" Shilpa asked, gaining interest in the conversation. "And, he didn't look at me like he's in love with me," she added as an afterthought.
"Oh, Shilpa," Armaan sighed. "Still so naive in matters of the heart. My young grasshopper, you have so much to learn! But… don't you worry. Dr. Love will teach you everything he knows!"
"Armaan," Shilpa reprimanded. "You were saying…"
"Right," Armaan agreed. "How was he looking at you? Like you looked at him when you thought no one was looking. Like you're his oasis in the desert. I knew he was going to confess within the month. But… Not bad, mere sher! You didn't even wait two whole weeks. I am so proud. Clearly, I've been underestimating you," he told Karan, making the man blush. It was certainly a sight to see the normally confident and composed Karan Kapoor blushing so hard. But then again, love made you do unexpected things, didn't it?
"I never looked at him like that. Just for the record," Shilpa argued.
"Ahhh, so naive, so naive!" Armaan replied, his tone gaining that joking condescension. He pulled Shilpa into a hug after that. "I'm so happy for you," he murmured. "Congratulations!" He exclaimed, dropping an affectionate kiss to the top of her head.
They both turned away after that, surreptitiously wiping the tears that had fallen from their eyes. Everyone took turns congratulating the couple and then it was story time.
"Well, actually…" Shilpa said. "You really underestimated Karan, Armaan. He confessed like… Two days after the wedding. But we wanted to tell everyone together and he did it at the airport before seeing me off, so we decided to keep it to ourselves for a while before we saw everyone again. And then Rahul announced his engagement, so we didn't want to take away his spotlight so we waited till everything was done."
"Awwww, you're so cute!" Rahul cried, pulling Shilpa's cheek. "So thoughtful. Thank you, Shilpa!"
"Ahhh! Both my kids. All grown up. Finally finding love. Moral of the story, everyone… Always tell someone when you're in love with them because they might be in love with you too!" Armaan exclaimed, pulling both Shilpa & Rahul into a hug.
"You're an idiot," Shilpa chuckled, hugging him back.
"You love it!" Armaan bragged.
"Sadly," Shilpa confirmed.
"Congratulations, Karan!" Riddhima said, smiling happily. She really was happy. For Karan and Shilpa. Whatever their issues, Shilpa was still her sister, and she'd been in love with Karan for so long. Riddhima didn't know if she would ever share the sort of relationship with Shilpa that she did with Anjali, but in the past few weeks, the two of them had reached a tentative understanding and become friends, if nothing else. Shilpa was easy to love, Riddhima had realized. She was the kind of person you couldn't help but adore. And much as she'd tried to maintain her distance, Riddhima couldn't deny that she liked Shilpa.
And, she'd always had a soft spot for Karan, ever since the day they'd met. There was something about him that called to her. It felt as if she'd known him all her life. Karan seemed to be like the missing piece of a puzzle… Somehow always on the back of your mind, even without you realizing it, and then when you stumble across it on a random day, completing something that was unfinished.
"Thanks, Di!" Karan cried, pulling her in for a hug.
"I'm glad you finally told her," Riddhima said.
"Couldn't have done it without you," Karan answered. "Thank you so much for giving me that push. This is all because of you."
Riddhima waved him off, laughing. "I didn't do anything. It was all you. I just happened to be there at the right place at the right time. Happenstance."
"You made me realize I was in love with Shilpa," Karan protested.
"I merely helped you acknowledge something you'd already known in your heart for a long time, Karan. Don't give me too much credit. You were the one who were brave enough to confess," Riddhima told him.
Karan grinned at her and pulled her into another hug. "You're the best!"
"Di?" Shilpa interrupted, nervous and timid. While Shilpa did address Riddhima with the moniker of an elder sister, it was still obvious that there were some lingering doubts about her right to do so.
Riddhima turned to Shilpa, an easy smile on her face. She looked at Shilpa questioningly, making the other girl say, "Thank you. Karan told me how you helped him."
"Don't thank me!" Riddhima repeated. Then, she opened her arm which wasn't wound around Karan in invitation and Shilpa didn't think twice before rushing and hugging her sister.
Armaan caught Riddhima's eye as she hugged her younger siblings and smiled beautifully, making Riddhima's smile grow infinitely wider. It was good to have him back.
________
"Armaan!" Riddhima called sometime later as Armaan and Muskaan ganged up on a sulking Rahul.
"Ridzy? Kya hua? You look so tense?" Muskaan asked.
"Yaar, woh meri payal ka ek ghunghroo gir gaya and I can't find it anywhere," Riddhima lamented. Turning to Armaan, she added, "Can you please take me to that room where I found you yesterday? Maybe it's fallen there. I'd go by myself but this house is like a never ending maze." She directed the last bit at Rahul who chuckled.
"I'll take you," Armaan replied. "But don't worry. It's not a big deal if you don't find it. Ek ghungroo hi toh hai. No one will find out."
"Armaan," Riddhima answered patiently, as if talking to a child. "I'd borrowed them from Di."
"Oh!" Armaan exclaimed. "What are we still doing here? Anjy will kill all of us if it's missing. Come on, let's go! Now!"
"Finally," Riddhima muttered. "Let's go."
The two of them walked away from Rahul & Muskaan, leaving Rahul with more concerns. With every passing moment, it was becoming clear to Rahul that things had changed between Armaan & Riddhima. He hadn't missed the constant looks, the secret smiles, the mindless chatter. It was as if he'd stepped back in time. As if Armaan & Riddhima were still dating secretly with their friends none the wiser. If his instincts were correct, they probably were. Now, he just needed to decide if he should actually confront Armaan over it or not.
________
"Don't worry, Basket," Armaan murmured soothingly. "We'll find it."
"Hmmm," Riddhima hummed, utterly unconvinced. Armaan sighed but let her be. He understood her worries. Anjali had always been very particular about her things. It was a rare occurrence that she loaned anything to even Riddhima. To not return the payal the way she'd gotten it would mean that Anjali would never let Riddhima borrow anything from her ever again. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and rubbed it, hoping to comfort her, but didn't succeed much.
However, he didn't have time to dwell on it because just as they turned the corridor towards the room they were looking for, they could hear raised voices. Immediately on alert, Armaan gestured for Riddhima to keep quiet. It was unsettling to hear this because the only people at home were their closest friends and family.
As they walked closer, it became apparent that one of the voices belonged to Dr. Shashank, which made the two of them even more suspicious.
"How could you do this?" Shashank was saying. "This is… It's wrong, Karan! Shilpa is Riddhima's sister!"
"Karan?" Armaan whispered, confused. "Why does Dr. Shashank care if Karan is dating Shilpa?"
Riddhima looked at him and shrugged, just as confused.
"How does it make a difference?" Karan asked.
"Of course it makes a difference!" Shashank burst out. "Do you need me to spell it out for you? I thought you were smarter than that!"
"Oh, I understand perfectly," Karan replied. "Shilpa and Riddhima Di might share genes, but Riddhima Di and I don't, Dad," the last word spat out with hatred. "Thankfully. She's better off without having your blood run in her veins, unlike me who is cursed to live with the fact that you're my birth father!"
"Dad?" Riddhima whispered, shocked. "Armaan… what's happening?"
"I don't know," Armaan answered helplessly, equally shocked. Karan had never breathed a word about this to him. He pulled Riddhima into a hug. "It's going to be okay," he promised. "I'll make it okay. Okay?"
Riddhima nodded against his chest, but didn't say anything. The two of them stood rooted at their spot while the argument inside raged on.
"It's still wrong!" Shashank insisted.
"It's not," Karan countered. "Shilpa is the blood half-sister of my adoptive step sister. We don't share any parents. The most familial connection we share is that we both think of Riddhima Di as our elder sister, but that doesn't mean anything, because you made sure I never got to know her better."
"Karan…" Shashank sighed. "Does Shilpa even know?"
"What?" Karan asked fiercely. "That you left me. You abandoned me. My mother died and you didn't want anything to do with me. You couldn't even honour Smriti Maa's last wish. She wanted us to be a family, for me to be her son. But… You made Maa and Papa take me with them instead of raising me on your own like you should have. You never took responsibility for any of your actions. You cheated on Smriti Maa with my mom and then abandoned both of us as well. Yes, she does. And it's not a problem for her. She understands. Anyway, how is it any of your business what Shilpa knows and doesn't? After giving me up the way you did, what makes you think you have any right to dictate what I can and can't do?"
That was Riddhima's tipping point. Hearing about how her father had abandoned his own child made Riddhima keel over. Her knees gave out and she fell to the floor, Armaan right beside her, cushioning her fall. He hugged her tightly and she hid her face in his chest, still trying to comprehend what she had heard.
"Shhhhh," Armaan soothed. "Basket… It's going to be okay. Main hoon na. Main sab theek kar dunga. I promise. Stop crying, please. You know I hate it when you cry."
"Armaan!" She croaked, pushing herself closer to him, clinging to him like he was her lifeline, which maybe he was. In the past month or so, so much had changed in her life. She didn't know who to trust, who to turn to, what to do with herself. She'd gone through so many ups and downs, but Armaan had always been there, helping her as best as he could, supporting her, guiding her, listening to her even when she'd betrayed his trust. She didn't know who else to turn to but him. He'd always been her biggest strength, her rock, her knight in shining armour.
Oblivious to her breakdown, Karan and Shashank continued arguing before Karan left the room, only to come face to face with Armaan & Riddhima on the floor.
"Di," he whispered, aghast. Despite all the issues Karan had with Shashank, he knew that Shashank had been a good father to his sisters. He hadn't ever wanted them to find out. He'd known how finding her father's truth had broken Shilpa and he didn't want his sisters to go through the same pain. He could've told them the truth at any point. He'd had countless chances to do so. But he hadn't, because he didn't want to hurt them. And now, for Riddhima to find out this way… He didn't know what to do.
Armaan looked up at the sound of his voice. If he had left the room, it wouldn't be long before Dr. Shashank did so too. "Basket," Armaan whispered lowly. "We have to go."
Riddhima seemed oblivious to his pleas, clinging to him tight but otherwise not hearing him. Sighing, Armaan pushed her away a little, despite her obvious attempts to not leave the security of his arms. "Riddhima," he implored. "We have to go somewhere else. Do you want Dr. Shashank to see you?"
Riddhima snapped out of her haze at that and shook her head vigorously. Armaan stood up and helped her up as well, gesturing for Karan to follow him. The three of them found another empty room. Armaan made Riddhima sit on the bed and helped her drink some water as he instructed Karan to shut the door. Once Riddhima had managed to calm down a little, Armaan turned to the other man. "Talk," he demanded.
Karan sighed. "It's a long and complicated story."
"We have all the time in the world for this," Armaan promised, but it was Riddhima's quiet, almost silent, "Please," that finally made Karan give in.
"I guess, I'll just start from the beginning. This is what Maa and Papa told me when I was old enough to understand everything. So, it should be good enough for you as well.
From what I know, after Dr. Shashank and Smriti Maa adopted Riddhima Di, they started trying for another child a couple years after that. But, there were complications when Anjali Di was born which is why Smriti Maa was having difficulty in getting pregnant again. As I'm sure you can guess, this caused stress between her and Dr. Shashank. I guess they weren't able to handle all the problems that came after that and ended up separating.
Smriti Maa took Anjali Di with her but Dr. Shashank insisted on keeping Riddhima Di with him. Maa said it's because Dr. Shashank had always been a little over protective over Riddhima Di… As a way of making up to Padma Aunty for whatever had happened. And Smriti Maa also felt that since they're separating, it would be unfair if one of them got to keep both the kids.
While they were separated, Dr. Shashank met my mom and they got involved romantically. I was born a couple years later, but by then, Dr. Shashank had already separated from my mom. She died giving birth to me, and Nani took me in. I had minimal contact with Dr. Shashank in those years. He visited me once or twice a month, I think.
Things had started getting better between him and Smriti Maa, by then, so he spent all his time convincing her to get back with him. Eventually, she did agree, but he didn't tell her about me… Because he was afraid that she would leave him again if she found out. But, of course, such things never stay hidden, and Smriti Maa found out. When she did, she insisted on bringing me home with her as well. Things had gotten tense between her and Dr. Shashank again, of course, but she still wanted me to be a part of the family.
In that time, we met quite a few times and Riddhima Di & I quickly became close. But, we were all very young, so Smriti Maa and Nani decided it would be better if we went slow about me moving in. Dr. Shashank had never wanted that. He'd only agreed to appease Smriti Maa because she'd threatened to leave forever if he didn't accept me. Sadly, before I could move in, Smriti Maa passed away.
After that, Dr. Shashank gave up all pretense. He still looked after me financially, but had nothing else to do with me. The monthly visits stopped too. I was 6 years old then, I think. Maa and Papa easily filled the vacuum he'd left behind. I think they took it upon themselves to make sure that I never felt the absence of parents, especially after what Dr. Shashank did.
When I was 10, just a few months after Maa and Papa came to the States, Nani passed away too. That's when Papa flew in and took me back with him. And I've lived with them ever since. Dr. Shashank only kept a cursory check on me through Maa. He'd call maybe once in a month or two to see how I was doing, but he never spoke to me personally.
That day at Armaan's house when I met all of you? That was the first time I'd seen Dr. Shashank in almost twenty years."
Turning to Armaan, he added, "You always wonder why I never believed in love, didn't you? Well, this is why. After everything that Dr. Shashank did, I didn't know how to.
It's not that I wasn't happy with my life, because I am. Nani, Maa, Papa, even Smriti Maa… They've all given me so much love. Maa and Papa raised me as if I was their own. They never differentiated between me and Rohan. They love me and I love them. I'm glad I have them.
I guess, in a very twisted way, I'm also thankful to Dr. Shashank. If he hadn't done what he did, I would have never had Maa and Papa. But, I still do blame him. He was my father. He had a responsibility towards me. My mom loved him. She deserved better too. Both of us did. I won't ever forgive him for that. Ever."
Crouching in front of Riddhima, he took her shaking hands in his own and rubbed them to warm them up. "I'm sorry. I never wanted you to find out. He may have abandoned me, but from what I understand, he's been a decent father to you and Anjali Di. I didn't want that to change. I never intended to create any problems for you. I'm really sorry."
"Tu— tum kyu sorry keh rahe ho?" Riddhima croaked. "I— I'm sorry, Karan. Pa— Papa treated you and your mom so badly. He shouldn't have. I'm really sorry! I can keep apologizing for the rest of my life, but it will never be enough. I'm so sorry!"
"No!" Karan exclaimed. "Riddhima Di, I promise… Ekdum dil se… I never blamed you, or Anjali Di. Whatever happened wasn't your fault. You didn't make Dr. Shashank do anything. You were a kid back then yourself. He was the adult. He made the decision to step away. That's on him. Not on you."
"But… All these years, he raised me, while you didn't have a dad," Riddhima sobbed.
"Aap aisa kyu sochte ho?" Karan asked. "I had a dad, Di. Papa is the best dad a boy could ever wish for. For me, he's my dad. He's always been, always will be. I'm sure he was a much better father to me than Dr. Shashank could have ever been."
"Lekin — " Riddhima protested.
"No," Karan cut her off. "Aap mujhe ek baat batao, if you had to choose between your birth father and your adoptive father, who would you choose? Mr. Kartik Malhotra or Dr. Shashank Gupta?"
Riddhima stilled. The answer was obvious. And it broke her heart. Because despite everything, despite not having spoken to her father properly in months now, having such a tense relationship with him since years now, even after finding out how he'd abandoned a child… She would still choose Shashank. Because Shashank chose her. He chose her when her own birth father didn't.
"It's okay," Karan soothed, understanding her dilemma. "You don't have to feel guilty. If I were in your shoes, I'd choose Dr. Shashank too, even if I knew he wasn't a good father to someone else, because he was one to me. He was the father who chose me when the man who should have been my father abandoned me.
Just like you'd choose him, I'd choose Papa. Every time. Papa is to me what Dr. Shashank is to you. He's my dad. I know that 10, 20, 30 years down the line, no matter where we are, how good or bad my relationship with him is, he'll be my dad. I'll love him and he'll love me, and we will always be there for each other.
I don't need Dr. Shashank in my life, Di. I never did. Because I had someone so much better. So, I don't have any complaints. Certainly not from you. But… You understand, right? I'm sure you understand better than anyone else. Despite having such a loving family and such a great childhood, there are some scars that those things can't heal. Even if I'm grateful for everything that happened because it gave me the family I have today, has made me the person I am today, I can't forgive Dr. Shashank for what he did to me."
"You're right," Riddhima agreed. "You're absolutely right. But… How do you not hate me? I hate myself!"
"Because it wasn't your fault," Karan shrugged.
He said it so easily, as if it was a fact. Which it was. It wasn't Riddhima's fault that Shashank was a bad father. And suddenly, Riddhima felt so ashamed of herself. She hadn't been anywhere near as gracious to Shilpa when she found out that, as Karan was being to her. In this time when she should have been comforting him, apologizing to him… He was the one looking after her, assuring her and soothing her.
Karan was seemingly a mind reader too, because he took one look at her and said, "Don't be too hard on yourself, Di. I've had years to come to terms with all this. I always knew about you and Anjali Di. I knew that while my father had left me, he'd raised two other daughters.
Time… It heals everything. And, if it can't, it certainly gives you the strength to face it. Someday, hopefully soon, you'll be where I am today. And things will get better."
He raised his hand and cupped her cheek. "Don't worry too much, okay?"
Riddhima nodded. "Do you want me to stay with you?" He asked her. She shook her head. "Go find Shilpa. I know you want to."
Karan ducked his head, suddenly shy. Riddhima laughed, pulling his cheek as she did. "Oh, and… You can tell her that I know."
"Thank you, Di!" He exclaimed. "You're the best!"
Belatedly, he realized he'd called her Di. "I can still call you Di, right?"
"Of course you can!" Riddhima cried vehemently.
Karan grinned, pulling her in for a hug. "Thank you."
After a final squeeze, he pulled away. Turning to Armaan, he asked, "You're gonna be okay?"
"Don't worry," Armaan assured, wiping his face. Armaan stepped forward to hug Karan. "You gonna be okay?"
"Of course," Karan answered immediately. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about me. I'm great. Honest."
Pulling back, he said, "I know ki saari duniya ki tension lena aap dono ki hobby hai… But you seriously don't have to worry about me. I'm good. I always knew all this. You're the ones I'm worried about. Please take care. And if you want to talk to me, don't think twice. We're still the same people, right?"
"Right," Armaan & Riddhima replied in unison. Karan laughed. "That's what I like to hear."
After one more quick group hug, Karan was out the door, humming a romantic melody, shaking off the entire conversation so easily as if it had never happened. He really seemed to be completely okay. Riddhima guessed he was right. He'd had the time to come to terms with it. Maybe that made all the difference in the world.
Once the door shut behind Karan, Armaan looked at Riddhima, opening his arms in invitation. She didn't think twice before rushing in, melting into his embrace.
"Papa!" She wailed, unable to comprehend it. How could her father do this? How could he abandon a child. He adopted her… And yet did what she'd been through to her own child? How could he? Did he have no conscience?
Armaan hugged her close, rubbing her back and arms in a soothing gesture, but otherwise not saying anything. He knew that Riddhima would need some time to come to terms with the revelation. It was a harrowing discovery and she was understandably shaken. He himself was. Whatever his issues might have been with Dr. Shashank, Armaan had always thought of him as an ideal father. To know that he was capable of such a horrendous thing was unimaginable to Armaan. And if he was so taken aback, he couldn't imagine how much worse it was for Riddhima. They might not be on the best of terms, but Dr. Shashank was still her father.
"Armaan, Papa Karan ke saath aisa kaise kar sakte hain?" Riddhima asked a few moments later, her voice hoarse with crying.
"I don't know," Armaan replied, not knowing what else to say. "Maybe, it's like Karan said… He didn't want to be reminded about how things had been between him and Smriti Aunty."
"But usme Karan ki kya galti? He deserved better!" Riddhima sobbed.
"He did," Armaan agreed. "I'm sorry."
"Tum kyu sorry bol rahe ho?" Riddhima asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"I didn't," Armaan answered. "But I'm sorry that you have to go through this. And I can't even do anything to make it better. So, I'm sorry."
Riddhima pushed herself closer to him. "You're doing so much by just being here. I can't imagine how I'd have reacted if I was alone… If I didn't have you beside me right now."
Armaan tightened his hold on her. "You'll get through this. I know you will."
Riddhima nodded against his chest. She had to believe she would. Otherwise, she didn't know what she'd do with herself.
Aa gira aasma dil gawa hain
Sath tu na sahi dil jawa hain
Kagaz ke panno pe mein likh du tera nam
Lakiron mein he rehta hain aanjam
Mein tera tu meri
Dhire dhire se kho gaye, dhire se kho gaye
Kahi tu meri
Dhire dhire se kho gaye, dhire se kho gaye
Koshiso mein khush nasebi na ho
Aahaton mein jab karebi na ho
Humne jo khoya dikhta nehi hain aankho se
Hastein mein roya chupkar teri he batoin se
Kagaz ke panno pe mein likh du tera nam
Lakiron mein he likhde tu aanjam
Mein tera tu meri
Dhire dhire se kho gaye, dhire se kho gaye
Kahi tu meri
Dhire dhire se kho gaye, dhire se kho gaye hum
Sochte tha hum ke kabhi bina ruthein
Ke kabhi bhi na chutein
Ke kabhi bhi na kabhi bhi na
Sochte tha hum ke kabhi bina ruthein
Ke kabhi bhi na chutein
Ke kabhi bhi na kabhi bhi na
Dhire dhire se kho gaye, dhire dhire se kho gaye hum
Dhire dhire se kho gaye, dhire dhire se kho gaye hum
Dhire dhire se kho gaye, dhire dhire se kho gaye hum
Dhire dhire se kho gaye hum
- Kho Gaye, Taaruk Raina
"Ridzy?" Muskaan called softly, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder.
"Ha — haan?" Riddhima asked, startled.
"Are you okay?" Muskaan probed.
"Of… Of course!" Riddhima fumbled. "Mujhe kya hoga?"
"Tune khane ka ek bite bhi nahi khaya hai," Muskaan stated, pointing to Riddhima's plate. They were all dining together. The entire day had passed in sort of a daze for Riddhima after her encounter with Karan. Armaan had tried to be there for her but everyone in the house wanted him for something or the other and he had to entertain them all. In his absence, Karan had tried to fill the gaps for which she was extremely grateful, but she felt too ashamed to spend time in his wonderful company.
"I'm fine," Riddhima whispered, making a show of eating from her plate. In the next second, Armaan's hand slid down her arm, and he took her hand in his, entwining their fingers together, squeezing tightly. Riddhima was stunned momentarily but she sent him a grateful smile, squeezing his hand back.
"The pasta is really good, Ridzy," Nikki commented, wanting to break the tension that was suddenly enveloping all of them. "I missed your cooking!"
"I missed cooking for you," Riddhima answered. "Do you remember? Nikumbh ke time… You would get so cranky if I didn't cook for you at least once a week!"
"What can I say? Nikumbh always loved his Riddhima Masi's cooking," Nikki laughed. "Right Nikumbh?"
"Yes!!" Nikumbh cheered. "Masi, when are we having a sleepover? I want to drink our special chocolate milk."
"Awwww," Riddhima cooed. "We'll have one once we're back home, okay? No boring adults, just Nikumbh, Samrat, and Nikumbh's two favourite masis!"
"Only if we get to finish the next Percy Jackson," Samrat proposed.
"Of course!" Muskaan concurred. "How is it a sleepover without Percy? Done!"
"You two will spoil all our kids," Keerti complained. "Navu ko tum logon ne kam sar pe chadhaya hai kya? And especially you, Riddhima! Bohot zyada bigaadti ho tum sab bachchon ko!”
"Diiiii," Riddhima whined. "Please! That's my entire job."
"Mumma, why are you scolding Riddhima Di?" Samrat jumped to her defense. "She's the best. You know I don't like it when you do that."
"Haan, bhai. Nobody will say anything to your Riddhima Di," Shubhankar pacified his son. Samrat absolutely adored her and did not like it when Making a show of it, he turned to his wife and said, "Keerti, stop troubling my favourite saali."
The entire table cracked up at that, even Riddhima. Armaan smiled. That was all he wanted. For her to be happy. As he watched Riddhima playfully fight with Keerti, he sat back and observed. He wasn't the only one who'd gotten more family in the past few years. Riddhima had too. While it was true that Dr. Keerti and Dr. Shubhankar had always been there for them, as seniors and mentors, and when the time called for it, as friends, Riddhima had gotten really close to Keerti in the time he'd been away. He was glad for it because it meant that she'd had someone to turn to other than Muskaan. And, as he was well aware, Dr. Keerti was a formidable ally to have on your side. From what he'd been able to piece together, Dr. Keerti was fiercely protective of Riddhima. He was grateful that she'd been there, especially when he hadn't.
"Armaan, you're staying, right?" Atul asked, bringing him out of his thoughts. "At least for a while? You'll come back with us?"
"That's the plan," Armaan agreed. "Ab aa hi gaya hoon toh I'll stay for a while. I kinda missed Mumbai."
"Oh, that'll be so much fun! The seven of us, back together in Sanjeevani after so long!" Anjali exclaimed.
"Please keep me in your prayers, everyone!" Shubhankar added, making everyone laugh.
"Dr. Shubhankar… Don't worry, we won't trouble you… Much," Armaan promised.
"I know your brand of trouble very well, Armaan," Shubhankar argued. "Please keep me away from all your harebrained schemes. I've gotten too old for that stuff now."
"Jeeju, you're not old," Riddhima defended. "You're just smart. Unlike Armaan," she added, unable to resist the urge to make a jab at him.
"Oh!" Armaan exclaimed. "You think I'm not smart?"
"I don't think, Armaan," Riddhima contradicted. "I know. But it's okay, not everyone is perfect. You need to work on yourself a little."
"Tell me something?" Armaan questioned. "Yeh bin maange advice dene ki shauk hai ya aadat?"
Riddhima gave him the stink eye. "Don't try to get cute with me to win the argument."
"What did I do?" Armaan cried, scandalised, despite knowing full well what he had. Riddhima arched a perfect eyebrow at him, making him raise his hands in surrender.
"Stop it, both of you!" Simran interrupted. "Eat your food. Riddhima beta, Muskaan is right. Tumne bilkul kuch nahi khaya hai. Chalo, eat. Do you want me to cook something else for you?"
"Nahi, nahi, Aunty! I'm eating!" Riddhima promised. The rest of the meal was mostly silent after that. Riddhima was thankful once it was over and immediately left, not making conversation with anyone. Of course, Armaan noticed and was just about to follow her when he was stopped by Shilpa. "Let me go," she said. "This is a tough time for her. I understand better than anyone else. I'll speak with her."
Armaan gave her a grateful smile and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you."
— — —
"Hey," Shilpa greeted Riddhima, taking a seat beside her. Riddhima jerked at the sudden intrusion, expecting Armaan, but surprised to see Shilpa. And just like that, all of it got too much for her. Her words to Shilpa echoed in her mind, Karan's revelation still fresh in her head. She wrapped her arms around Shilpa, hugging her tight, giving into her sobs once more.
"I'm sorry!" She kept repeating. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay. I understand," Shilpa replied, not saying anything else. She let Riddhima cry as much as she needed, happy to just provide the comfort of her presence. She remembered how badly she'd needed someone to just be there for her when she was going through this. It was funny how similar their lives were, for the vastly different upbringing they'd had. In that moment, she realized, there was a reason why Karthik Malhotra and Shashank Gupta were such good friends. They were both cut out from the same cloth, apparently.
"Are you feeling better now?" Shilpa asked once Riddhima's sobs started quieting. She offered her elder sister some water.
"Thank you," Riddhima croaked.
"Anytime," Shilpa promised. "I can understand how hard this is for you. I'm sorry you have to go through it."
"How did you do it?" Riddhima wondered out loud. "I don't know… It feels like I'll die."
"I get what you mean," Shilpa replied. "I felt that way too. You just have to accept it, I guess. That your father isn't as good a person as you thought he was. Maybe that was easier for me cause I'd not been as close to him as you are to Dr. Shashank, but… What else can we even do? This isn't something we had control over, did we? Our dads decided to do this all on their own. Why should we blame ourselves for their decisions? We didn't have any part in it."
"I just feel so guilty," Riddhima admitted. "I had him but Karan didn't."
"Because Karan had something much better," Shilpa assured her. "Aren't you better off without my dad?" At Riddhima's nod, she continued, "Karan is also better off without yours. It might seem harsh, but it's true, isn't it? Rahul Uncle and Juhi Aunty have been great parents to Karan, just as I'm sure Dr. Shashank and Padma Aunty have been to you. In a sort of twisted way, it's a good thing, I guess. God gave you someone better than your birth father because he knew you deserved that. He did the same for Karan."
"But… How could Papa do this to Karan after what happened with me?" Riddhima questioned. "He did the same thing… I just don't understand."
Riddhima looked so vulnerable, like a lost little girl that Shilpa couldn't resist pulling her into another hug. This was a huge shock to anyone, but especially for someone like Riddhima who had always looked up to her father.
"I can't tell you that," Shilpa answered. "Only he can. But, he must have had his reasons, whatever they are, whether they make sense or not. Maybe he didn't want another child, or maybe he felt guilty for how Karan came into his life, or maybe he felt Karan was better off without him… Only he can tell you why he did what he did. But, whatever the reason, it's not on you. You had no hand in it. Karan doesn't blame you."
"But I did," Riddhima said. "I blamed you. For what your dad did. If you felt even a fraction of what I'm feeling right now… I'm just so sorry, Shilpa. I should have handled it better."
"It was a huge shock to you," Shilpa shrugged. "If I'm being honest, I kind of expected something like that to happen, but I still hoped that it wouldn't… Very naive of me, but yeah. I don't blame you, mostly because you realized you were wrong and did apologize. And since then, things have been pretty okay between us, haven't they?"
"But…" Riddhima protested, only to be shut down by Shilpa.
"No buts," she ordered. "Everything is a process. You have to give it time. To yourself to heal, to move on. You can't expect it to happen overnight."
Riddhima nodded mutely. "I have faith in you," Shilpa continued, looking at her crestfallen face. "This is not the first time you're facing something like this. I'm sure it won't be the last. In the past, you've managed to make your peace with things. You'll do it again. I mean, if you can get over your adoption, over Armaan leaving you the way he did, if you have the courage to stand up for yourself and leave an unwanted marriage… You can do this too. And I'm there for you, whenever you need me. Karan too. And I'm sure you won't be able to keep Armaan away no matter how hard you try. You're not alone. You have people who care about you, who want the best for you… All around you. You just have to take their hand and walk.
You know, when I found out… I didn't have anybody to turn to, and yet I was able to deal with the whole thing. You're much stronger than me, and you have so many people there for you. If I can do it, I'm sure you will be able to too.
You just have to believe in yourself. Keep faith. Ask for help. And soon enough, you'll come to terms with the fact that your father isn't perfect like you thought he was. I won't lie to you and say things will get back to the way they were before, but you'll learn to live with it, and be happy despite all of it. That, I can definitely promise."
Riddhima smiled at that. Shilpa was so wise. Maybe going through what she had with her own parents had made her grow up. She was so eerily similar to Armaan, it stumped Riddhima sometimes. She felt that if she just gave it a chance, Shilpa would very quickly become very important to her, just like Armaan had. She'd been afraid of that before, but maybe it wasn't the worst thought. This incident with Karan had really put things into perspective. Putting herself in Shilpa's shoes was as easy as breathing now. She understood now.
"Thank you, Shilpa," she murmured, giving her a tight hug. "You don't understand how much you've helped me."
"I think I do," Shilpa laughed. "I'm glad I could. It's so weird that after what happened between us, this is what made us talk again."
"Pretty ironic," Riddhima agreed. "But, one good thing about this whole mess is… I get you, now. I can understand your emotions better, see where you're coming from. I'm just sorry it took this happening for me to understand that. But… Now that I do, I want to do better."
"Better how?" Shilpa asked, confused.
Riddhima smiled. She offered Shilpa her hand. "Hi. I'm Riddhima Gupta. Your elder sister."
Shilpa beamed. Taking Riddhima's hand, she replied, "Hi. I'm Shilpa Malhotra. Your younger sister. It's such a pleasure to meet you."
"It's a pleasure to meet you!" Riddhima echoed. The sisters embraced one more time, and something in Riddhima's heart settled. So long as she had people like Shilpa, like Armaan around, guiding her, helping her, caring about her… She would be just fine.
aashayein aashayein aashayein
aashayein aashayein aashayein
kuch paane ki ho aas aas
koi armaan ho jo khaas khaas
aashayein aashayein aashayein
har koshish me ho vaar vaar
kare dariyon ko aar paar
aashayein aashayein aashayein
toofano ko chirke
manzilon ko cheen le
chorous....
aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi
aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi
oh oh oh oh .......
oh oh oh oh .......
ud jaye leke khushi
apne sang tujhko vahaan
jannat se mulakat ho
puri ho teri har dua
aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi
aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi
guzre aisi har raat raat
ho khwaishoon se baat baat
aashayein aashayein aashayein
lekar suraj se aag aag
gaayeja apna raag raag
aashayein aashayein aashayein
kuch aisa kar ke dikha
khud khush ho jaaye khuda
aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi
aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi
- Aashayein, Salim Merchant & KK
"Shall we?" Rahul asked, offering his arm to Armaan, who laughed, but took it nonetheless.
"We shall," Armaan agreed, and together, the two best friends stepped inside… Back in time, back home, back in Sanjeevani… After so many years away. Armaan stood there, right at the entrance, the locker room to his left, the nurse station straight ahead, just a few paces away, and breathed in deeply. The familiar smell of antiseptic mixed with the citrusy freshness of Sanjeevani's orange flavoured air freshener welcomed him home. It was soothing, he realized, the knowledge that in the time he'd spent away, Sanjeevani had stayed the same. The walls were still the same yellow he remembered them being last, the locker room still as red, the nurse station just as he was used to seeing it.
When he closed his eyes, he was sure he could hear Muskaan's weird laughter echoing in the air at one of Champ's songs, while Anjali cribbed at her husband, Shut up, Atul! reverberating in his ears. A second more, and he could hear Nikki argue with Abhi, both of them calling each other stupid names. One more moment, and Rahul's voice called to him, Ruk, saale! his best friend was shouting, running after him, because he'd been teasing Rahul just a moment before. And finally, finally, finally, there was the faint hum of his heart thudding wildly in his chest, the tinkling of Riddhima's payal surrounding him as she ran away from him, blushing deep after he'd kissed her cheek. Oyye hoyye, he mumbled in his dream, and opened his eyes when he realized he'd said it out loud.
"This place has not changed one bit," Rahul commented, gesturing to the pinks and blues they were surrounded by.
"It hasn't," Armaan whispered. "It's still home," he added, his hand automatically reaching to his chest, as he rubbed the skin over his heart. Being back here, it felt as if no time had passed at all. As if he was still in 2010. For a moment, he still felt like the Armaan who was getting ready to marry the love of his life. A strange sort of peace settled in his entire being as he looked around and took in more of the familiar surroundings. Home, everything in him breathed, achingly heart-breaking. This place was still his home, no matter how hard he'd tried to deny it.
"It will always be home, won't it?" Rahul wondered out loud, stealing the words right out of his mouth.
"It seems so," Armaan agreed. "But what a beautiful home."
"The best," Rahul answered.
The two of them walked side by side, mapping corridors that they knew better than the back of their hand. Every step unlocked a new memory, every breath bringing with it the laughter they'd shared, the tears they'd cried, the life they'd shared in those three glorious years.
"Hero!" Muskaan cried, pulling the duo out of their trip down memory lane.
"Heroine!" Armaan shrieked in return, opening his arms as she ran into them, hugging him tight.
"Welcome back," Muskaan said. "Sanjeevani has missed you."
"I've missed Sanjeevani," Armaan replied.
Rahul cleared his throat, making Armaan laugh, but he didn't let Muskaan go. Muskaan chuckled, hugging Armaan tighter. After another moment, fed up, Rahul pulled her away. "I'm here too, in case you two remember," he pouted.
"Awwww," Armaan cooed. "Sorry, Jaana. Are you feeling left out?"
One look at Muskaan and the two of them jumped on Rahul, hugging him tight enough to block his air. "Not so much!" Rahul managed to cry, pushing them both away.
Rahul turned to Muskaan, and for a moment, nobody else existed, not even Armaan. Muskaan blushed and ducked her head. Armaan laughed. Clearing his throat loudly, he said, "Okay mere Raj aur Simran… I get the message! You two want some alone time. I'll go!"
"Nahi, Hero… Aisa…" Muskaan started to protest only to be shut down by Armaan.
"Muskiiiii! Please. Don't try this with me. I understand. Of course you want to spend time together," Armaan smiled.
"But what about you?" Rahul worried.
"Okay, Dad," Armaan waved him off. "I'm a grown adult. And this is not my first rodeo here. This is my home, remember? I'll be fine!"
"Sure?" Rahul pressed.
"Sure," Armaan assured. Pushing them away, he said, "You kids go have fun!"
Chuckling, he walked away from the two of them, whistling a tune as he did. Finally alone, he wasted no time in finding the fire escape. Once there, he was assaulted with a million memories all at once. He was so overwhelmed that his knees gave out and he had to sit down on the steps to calm himself down. This fire escape had seen it all — his love, his pain, his longing, his happiness, hia laughter, and his tears. He suspected it was the same for Riddhima.
Even now, the ghost of their relationship seemed to linger there. He could see it clearly — him and Riddhima sitting on the step below him, wrapped in each other, oblivious to the rest of the world. When he turned, he saw himself pushing her against the wall and ducking his head into her neck. Shaking his head, he looked ahead, only to see his past self doing push-ups while she sat beside him, cheering him on.
Chuckling, he reached up to wipe his tears. Maybe Riddhima's new nickname wasn't too far off the mark. He really had gotten sentimental in the last few years. Or was it that he had finally started to feel all his emotions freely? Before, he'd always tried to shy away from the more morose emotions he felt, channeling them all into anger because it was easier. Now though, he knew better. He mourned and wept as he always should have. He didn't try to hide behind the easy mask of anger and let his heart hurt the way it wanted to. Meeting Riddhima had opened up the vulnerability he liked to keep hidden from the rest of the world. He didn’t remember crying as freely before he’d met her. He remembered how, a long time ago, he’d told Nikki that Riddhima made him want to be a better man. That still held true. She always inspired him to be his best self. And, it had been that inspiration that had made him work on himself even after he’d left his life in Mumbai behind. Now, he could honestly say that at this point in time, he was his best self. Chuckling to himself, he whacked his head. Why was he sitting here and getting emotional about Riddhima when he could go and see her in person?
He walked out of the fire escape, and made his way to the nurse station. Luckily for him, a briefing was in session, and there she was. There she was. There she was. Riddhima was completely in her element, taking charge. Armaan leaned against the wall and admired her. The way her hands moved as she talked, the small frown in between her eyes, the slight twitch in her nose… She was so pretty. He realized that he hadn’t taken a moment to just look at her in years now. Was it possible that she’d gotten even more beautiful? Or was it just his sentimental heart making him see things? He didn’t know, and he didn’t really care.
Some of the interns seemed to have noticed him and were nudging each other to bring attention to the gorgeous man who was staring at their boss like she was his sun. Soon enough, none of them were paying attention to the briefing, all their attention focused on the man, who was completely oblivious to it, so busy in his admiration. Riddhima blushed, unable to help herself. She'd become aware of Armaan's presence the moment he'd been in the vicinity, but had refrained from reacting and tried to continue as normal, but now, with everyone's eyes on him, it was impossible to ignore him. More so, it was impossible to ignore the fondness in those dreamy eyes, the way he had that little smile on his face, as if he hadn't made any conscious effort to smile, but couldn't stop himself from doing so.
She cleared her throat loudly, desperate to get some control of the situation. "Doctors!" She reprimanded. "I have not dismissed you yet."
Immediately, all her interns turned back to her, attentive yet scared. Still, they couldn't help but steal a glance or two at Armaan. Sighing, Riddhima called him out. "Excuse me!" She yelled, exasperated. "What are you doing?"
Her loud voice finally snapped him out of his reverie. He shook his head to clear his thoughts before replying to her. "What am I doing? Nothing. Just… Trying to pass some time. I've got nothing to do."
"So you just roam around the corridor of a hospital and stare at people?" She asked him. Armaan shrugged. "Seems fun," he confessed.
Riddhima facepalmed, not knowing what to say. It had been a while since she'd had to deal with an insolent, flirty Armaan, and she would admit that she was rusty. "Dismissed," she ordered the interns, not wanting to create a scene in front of them.
Once they'd all left, Armaan walked up to the nurse station and leaned against it, his entire focus on Riddhima. "Armaan!" She blushed, as she turned away from him. She picked up some files and pretended to go through them to distract herself.
"Basket," Armaan whined. "I'm bored."
"And this concerns me because…" She trailed off.
"Because who else will I trouble but you?" He asked.
"Armaan… I have work to do," she reminded him. Armaan smiled despite himself. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed her calling his name. Such a mundane thing… His name spoken in that exasperated but fond lilt, like she was annoyed yet enamored by him… No one ever called his name the way she did.
"Armaan!" She whacked him with a file, making him realize he'd been staring again.
"Here's a deal," he proposed a moment later. "Why don't I work too? I mean… I've got nothing to do. Aai & Baba have some relatives over to introduce Myra, and Rahul is busy with Muskaan. So, I'll just… Help out here! Cool?"
Riddhima pretended to think, before she said, "How about no?"
"Come on! Why not?" Armaan cried.
"I don't need your Armaan-ness to disrupt the peace of this hospital," Riddhima replied, rolling her eyes.
"Armaan-ness?" He asked. "I'm offended, Basket!"
"Good," she laughed. "You were meant to."
"Please!" He begged.
"Nope," she answered, determined.
Armaan wasted no time in getting on his knees in front of her. "Please, please, please! I'll listen to everything you say. No masti, no shaitaani, only duty karni! Promise!"
"Armaan! Stop it! You're embarrassing me!" Riddhima cried, looking around. Everyone had stopped to stare at the two of them. It had been a while since Sanjeevani had borne witness to this. When Armaan was around, such displays had become commonplace and people had learnt to ignore it and go about their day, but in his absence, the novelty had worn off, and now, everyone was suddenly interested in their interaction.
"Say yes first," he bargained.
"Fine!" She yelled. "You win! You can work."
"Thank you!" Armaan cried, standing up and immediately pulling her into a hug. Annoyed, Riddhima pushed him away. "Don't push it," she warned. Armaan raised his arms in surrender, enjoying himself. How long had it been since he'd had so much fun with someone? He didn't remember. In all the pain, he'd forgotten that nothing pleased him more than annoying Riddhima. He'd had so much fun with her, annoying her and getting annoyed by her.
"Come with me," she ordered. Armaan practically skipped along beside her, extremely excited. Not just to spend time with Riddhima, but also to work. He'd missed being here. This place would always be his first home that he chose for himself.
Riddhima led him to a cabin, knocking on the door before entering. "Good morning, Dr. Sonawane," she greeted the woman who was sitting on the chair in front of her.
The woman, Dr. Sonawane, looked up and smiled. "Dr. Gupta! To what do I owe the pleasure?" She asked.
Riddhima took a seat in front of her. "I wanted a favour."
"Anything for you, Riddhima," Dr. Sonawane replied. "You know that."
"I do," Riddhima agreed. Turning to Armaan, she said, "This is Dr. Armaan Mallik." To Armaan, she added, "Armaan, this Dr. Shreeya Sonawane. She's the head of the orthopaedic department here."
Armaan's smile fell at that. This was not what he had in mind when he said he should work. He'd meant working with Riddhima. But of course, he should've known. Basket would never make anything easy for him. Riddhima smirked at his crestfallen face before turning to Shreeya once more.
"Dr. Mallik is the head of ortho at the New York division of Sanjeevani. He's visiting for a few days and felt the need to put himself to use while he's here, so I thought… What better way than to leave him in your capable hands?" She asked rhetorically.
Turning to Armaan, she asked, "Right, Armaan?"
Armaan had the strongest urge to wipe that smug smirk off her face, but in the interest of being polite, he replied, "Right." He didn't think he managed to come off as polite though, with the way he was gritting his teeth so hard, but then there were only some things he could achieve as a human.
Dr. Sonawane noticed the unsaid conversation passing between the two people standing in front of her and laughed internally. Well, her day definitely did get a lot interesting. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she had somehow been roped into some weird sort of flirtation? Or was it an enmity? She was still debating that… But it was definitely either of those at play. She wasn't too worried about the details though, because either way, it would be fun. Finally, she'd have some entertainment while she did her job. And well, it would absolutely not hurt to have the head of orthopaedics from New York Sanjeevani to be at her beck and call.
"We shall have a lot of fun together, Dr. Mallik… You and I. I look forward to it," she told him.
"Perfect!" Riddhima cheered. "I'll leave you two to it, then. See you later!"
As she moved past Armaan, he grabbed her dupatta, making her turn. Definitely a flirtation then, Shreeya thought to herself. While she couldn't see the face Armaan was making, she was pretty sure he was trying to worm his way out of this situation. It didn't seem to work on Riddhima though, as she calmly plucked her dupatta out of his hands. "Have fun, Armaan! Now, you won't get bored, and you'll actually be doing something you love! You're welcome."
Armaan snorted. "Yes. Thank you," he replied. Even Shreeya, who had known Armaan for all of 2 minutes and 35 seconds, could sense the sarcasm dripping from his tone.
"You kids have fun then!" Riddhima exclaimed before rushing out of the cabin. She was definitely going to pay dearly for the stunt she'd pulled, but it was necessary. She'd never get any work done if Armaan was around. She needed to focus on work, and especially after being away for weeks. There was a mountain of paperwork at her desk waiting to be sorted through, and a ton of patients that she needed to catch up with.
"Shall we?" Shreeya asked Armaan. He put on his most charming smile and replied, "After you!"
"So… Dr. Mallik," she made conversation as she led Armaan to the orthopaedic ward. "How is it that you know Riddhima?"
"Armaan, please," Armaan replied. "Only Dr. Shashank calls me Dr. Mallik, and that's…" He trailed off, shuddering. "And well, Riddhima and I… We interned together. Right here at this very hospital."
"Oh," Shreeya breathed. "That's weird. I haven't ever heard about you before. A lot of the interns from your batch stayed on to become residents, didn't they?"
"Yeah," Armaan answered. "Almost all of us, I guess. It was just Rahul and I… We both work together in New York, though. And I think Muskaan, Atul, and Anjali spent time at other branches in India before coming back here. But Rahul and I have been in New York for a little over seven years now. Maybe that's why you haven't heard about us," he offered. "I mean… You know what they say. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess."
Though he knew now that was far from the truth. It was just painful for all of them to remember that time together because it had ended so brutally. Some days, it stumped him how they'd all lived through that pain alone. They'd all been hurting so much, missing each other more than anything, and yet, hadn't had the courage to reach out. Armaan may have made attempts with Nikki, but he never did with Champ or Muskaan or even Anjali. It wasn't like he hadn't missed them. He had. He just hadn't been brave enough to pick the phone up. They were here now though, he reminded himself. And that was important. He would not let his friends go again. Irrespective of whatever happened with Basket, he would never let his friends walk out of his life or leave them behind ever again. These years without them had made him see just how much he loved them.
And, he was smarter now, more mature. He could be around his friends without thinking about Riddhima every moment, the way he had in the past. Their friends had always been the most common link between them and leaving her had always automatically meant leaving them behind too, because he couldn't be around them without constant reminders of her hurting him. That wasn't the case any longer. He had learnt to separate his relationships. He wouldn't let one relationship affect another.
Shreeya discussed various topics with him as they walked, and was suitably impressed. Of course, Armaan had to be a brilliant surgeon if he was heading the department, but he was so much better than she'd pegged him to be. His insights were brilliant, and some of the cases he'd described to have handled left her mind blown. To have that kind of precision and focus was amazing. She was glad to be working with him for the foreseeable future. There was so much they all stood to gain by working with him.
"This is Dr. Devyani Banerjee," Shreeya introduced to Armaan the girl who was waiting at the entrance of the ICU once they'd reached there. "She's one of our most promising interns. Lucky for you, she's on her ortho rotation right now and will be reporting to me for the next few weeks. While you're here, she can help you with everything you need. And, between the two of us, she's an excellent resource!
Now, I know you're only visiting so you'll only be needed when there's an emergency, or if I need a second opinion on something, but I think that you can use this time to guide Dr. Devyani. She's very interested in pursuing a specialization and your insights would be extremely helpful!"
Armaan grinned. "Of course," he agreed. He had come to understand that more than anything else, his true calling was mentoring others. While he loved being on the floor himself, going on rounds and performing surgeries, it was guiding others that made him the happiest. To help one of your junior colleagues crack a case, to help them figure out a complicated surgery, to see them handle a difficult patient… It was so rewarding. Of course, he would always love being a surgeon, but being a mentor and guide was something he'd grown to love immensely.
"I have an important meeting to get to, but I trust you will make yourself comfortable here?" Shreeya asked Armaan.
"Of course!" Armaan exclaimed. "Please, carry on. I will catch up with you when you have some time to spare."
"Great! See you then," Shreeya said in parting.
"Shall we?" Armaan asked, ever the gentleman, prompting Devyani to enter before him. Devyani smiled and stepped inside the ward, followed closely by Armaan. But, before he could fully make himself known, his eyes fell on a patient, and he immediately stepped back, pulling Devyani with him.
"Dr. Mallik, is everything okay?" Devyani asked him.
"I need to go somewhere," Armaan told her. "I'm sorry to leave like this, but I'll find you in a while. This is really important. I'm… I'm sorry!"
Saying so, he rushed away, not giving Devyani a chance to respond. She watched his retreating back in confusion before shrugging and going about her day. She didn't have time to deal with whatever was going on. She had her own problems to deal with.
Anjali and Muskaan had just left Muskaan's cabin after one of her regular check-ups when Armaan accosted them, clearly worked up. "Riddhima ko dekha?" He asked them.
"Hero, kya hua? Is everything okay? You seem very worried," Muskaan asked.
"Riddhima!" Armaan repeated. "Have either of you seen her? I need to talk to her. Now!"
"No, but…" Anjali started, but Armaan had already found Riddhima by then. She was talking to someone, a few paces away from them.
"Basket!" Armaan called, rushing to her. In his haste, he missed the look that passed between Muskaan and Anjali.
"Basket!" He repeated, reaching her.
"Armaan? I just left you with Shreeya less than 15 minutes ago. Don't tell me you've already annoyed her!" Riddhima exclaimed.
Armaan shook his head. Turning to Riddhima's companion, he asked, "Is this urgent?"
"Uhhh, not really," the man replied, clearly confused.
"Good!" Armaan exclaimed, taking the file Riddhima had been holding and passing it back to the man. "She'll see you later. This is important."
Before anyone could comprehend what was happening, Armaan had taken Riddhima's hand and pulled her away. He sprinted down the corridor and pulled Riddhima into the fire escape, which Anjali & Muskaan noticed very keenly. The two of them shared a smile and rushed to the canteen. They needed to have a talk with the rest of their friends.
"Armaan!? Why are you behaving like this? Slow down!" Riddhima exclaimed as he pulled her into the fire escape. He shut the door behind them and pulled her into a hug.
"Hey! Kya hua?" Riddhima murmured softly, running her fingers through his hair.
"Basket…" Armaan sighed, pulling back a couple moments later. "Why is Nana in the ICU?"
"Ahhh, you saw him?" Riddhima asked. Armaan nodded.
"He's been here for almost two months now. It's looking really bad, Armaan. His larynx has completely ruptured," Riddhima told him. Armaan exhaled sharply.
"Can we do anything?" He enquired.
Riddhima nodded. "There's a surgery. But it's really expensive. You know Nana can't afford that. I've been trying to help him. We've been thinking about pooling our savings to pay for it, but the trip to New York made things a little difficult. And… You know Nana. He's not taken kindly to my offer either. We're still trying to figure out a way to help him."
"I'll pay for it," Armaan immediately declared. "Get him under the knife as soon as possible. I don't care what the cost is. I'll pay it."
"Armaan…" Riddhima sighed.
"I'll pay it," he repeated.
"I'll talk to Dr. Gilani," she answered.
"Right now?" He pressed.
"Right now," she agreed. Then, she added, "But… You shouldn't see him right now. If he sees you and immediately goes for a surgery he'll know you did it. He might not agree to get operated on then. I'll just tell him that we were able to get the donations for the social responsibility program and we're using that to fund his surgery. You can meet him afterwards."
"Okay," Armaan acquiesced. "Whatever you say."
Riddhima smiled. She cupped his face and said, "Don't worry. While the surgery is expensive, it's got a 98% survival rate. Nana will be fine."
Armaan placed his hand on hers and pushed her hand even closer, nuzzling into her palm. "I know. You'll look after him, won't you?"
"Of course I will. He's important to me too," Riddhima said. Armaan smiled and pulled her into a hug. Somehow, just her presence soothed him. Her confidence boosted his own. He trusted her. He believed her. If she said Nana was going to be okay, he would be.
Tum aankhon se batana
Hum samajh jaayenge
Tum halki si sharmana
Hum tere ho jaayenge.
Tum aankhon se batana
Hum samajh jaayenge
Tum halki si sharmana
Hum tere ho jaayenge.
Hum raah taake baithey hai koi ijazat do
Hum raah taake baithey hai koi ijazat do
Tum haath thaam lena
Hum sawar jaayenge.
Tum aankhon se batana
Hum samajh jaayenge
Tum halki si sharmana
Hum tere ho jaayenge.
Tumhari mehendi mein
Chhupe hum rahe
Baatein karna humse
Bin kuch tum kahe.
Tumhari mehendi mein
Chhupe hum rahe
Baatein karna humse
Bin kuch tum kahe.
Hum khamoshi padhlenge
Agar chup tum raho
Hum khamoshi padhlenge
Agar chup tum raho.
Tum aadat bano humari
Hum bigad jaayenge
Tum aankhon se batana
Hum samajh jaayenge
Tum halki si sharmana
Hum tere ho jaayenge.
Yaar mere pyaar ka matlab
Samajhta nahi zamaana
Zamaane ki fikar nahi
Main chahoon tumhein samjhana.
Ho ik meri khwaish yahin
Ke tum mein hai bass jaana
Ho jitni bhi muradein teri
Main pure sab kar jaana.
Kaagazon par sabne
Apne lafz likhe
Humne apne jazbaat bhi sajaa ke hai rakhe
Kaagazon par sabne
Apne lafz likhe
Humne apne jazbaat bhi sajaa ke hai rakhe.
Tum ankhon mein dekho humari
Sab samajh jaaoge
Tum aankhon se batana
Hum samajh jaayenge
Tum halki si sharmana
Hum tere ho jaayenge.
Tum aankhon se batana
Hum samajh jaayenge
Tum halki si sharmana
Hum tere ho jaayenge.
- Aankhon Se Batana, Dikshant
Rahul sighed as he bit into his toast. Things were not fine. It had been a couple of days since they'd arrived in Mumbai, and while Armaan had been extremely happy at first, something had changed. He hadn't come home last night, only arriving in the wee hours of morning and promptly shutting himself up in his bedroom, not talking to anyone. Nikki had been just as clueless as he was about why he was behaving the way he was.
Rahul's last interaction with Armaan had been at breakfast the previous day when he'd told his best friend that he'd been taking Muskaan out on a date. They hadn't spoken since. Nikki hadn't spoken to him since then either. She hadn't been able to go to work the day before, and neither had Abhi, because Abhi's parents and his aunt & uncle had unexpectedly shown up at his place. A quick call to Atul had confirmed that both him and Anjali had stayed home the day before too because Anjali wasn't feeling well, and that Riddhima had had plans to spend the day with Navneeta. So, none of them had spoken to Armaan for a few hours, and in those few hours, something had happened. And he hadn't the slightest clue as to what.
"Did Armaan open the door?" Nikki asked him, taking a seat beside Abhi.
"Not yet," Rahul murmured, defeated.
"But… Inn pichle kuch ghanton mein aisa kya hua?" Abhi wondered out loud.
"He lost a patient," Sid piped in quietly. He had been to the hospital the day before, and it had spread like wildfire… The news that both him and Dr. Sonawane combined hadn't been able to save a patient… A policewoman at that.
"What?" Rahul asked, shocked. "What did you just say?"
"He lost a patient yesterday," Sid repeated.
"What? How? When?" Rahul probed. "Tell me everything."
"He assisted Dr. Sonawane in an emergency yesterday. It was… It was a policewoman. I don't know the exact details but she was shot," Sid explained. "I think it was in the spine. But I'm not too sure. Dr. Sonawane asked him to scrub up, and he did… But apparently he froze when he saw the patient? It took him sometime to get his bearings… And in the end, they weren't able to save her."
"Why didn't you tell me??!" Nikki screeched. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!"
"Nikki… Relax! It's going to be okay!" Abhi tried to calm his wife down. Nikki had stood up from her chair and was pacing.
"How can I calm down? Oh my god. I can't… Oh my god!" Nikki exclaimed, her breathing getting heavy.
"Rahul! Are you okay?" Abhi asked him next when he saw Rahul sitting there unresponsive. "RAHUL!" Abhi shouted when Rahul didn't answer. That seemed to pull Rahul out of his stupor.
"Riddhima!" Rahul exclaimed. "Oh my god. Did anyone call Riddhima?"
The trio looked at each other and Rahul immediately reached into his pocket, fumbling to get his phone. With shaky hands, he dialled Riddhima's number. "You need to come to Nikki's house. Right now. It's Armaan," he told her in greeting. In the next breath, he hung up.
"What did she say?" Nikki asked.
"She's on her way," Rahul replied. "Don't worry. She'll handle it."
"I can't… When will that night leave us, Rahul?" She whispered, broken.
Rahul huffed a breath through his nose and pulled her out of Abhi's arms into his own. "Never, I suppose," he murmured. "But we have each other, right?"
Nikki nodded against his chest. Rahul smiled. "Don't stress. Tum dekhna… He'll see Riddhima and everything will be fine."
"Hopefully," Nikki mumbled. "Hopefully it will."
"Abhi, beta… What's the matter? Can we help?" His mom asked.
"No, Mom," Abhi replied. "The only person who can do anything right now is not here yet. But… Once she gets here, we'll be good."
Sunaina, Sid's mom, snorted, but one look from her son and she kept quiet, thankfully. She had never really forgiven Riddhima for ending her marriage with Sid. Though whatever happened hadn't been Riddhima's fault at all, the woman refused to acknowledge it.
"Should we tell the others?" Abhi asked, breaking the tense silence that had engulfed the room.
"Not yet," Rahul advised. "They'll all worry too. Let Armaan calm down. Once he's hugged Riddhima to his heart's content and made sure she's okay… We'll tell the others then."
Nikki laughed. "How long do you think they'll pretend that nothing is going on?"
"Please," Rahul scoffed. "It's them. Everyone knows something is always going on when it's them."
"Except apparently the two of them," Nikki snorted. "Do they seriously think we don't have eyes? You know Armaan called Riddhima Basket in front of the entire world the day before yesterday and then pulled her into the fire escape?"
"Ahhh, yes. I heard," Rahul laughed. "Muskaan was very vivid in her descriptions."
Nikki giggled. "Why are they such fools?"
"Would they be Armaan & Riddhima if they weren't?" Abhi asked rhetorically.
The duo chuckled. "How long are we keeping quiet before we bust em?" Nikki asked.
"Don't bother," Rahul shrugged. "Armaan is bursting to tell me, I can tell. He's almost said something like 20 times in the last 4 days. He's going to break any minute now."
"He could never hide from you, could he?" Nikki questioned.
Rahul laughed. "I knew he was in love with her before he was ready to admit it to himself. Idiot. Woh sirf meri dost hai, Rahul. Dost, my foot. Anyone with eyes could tell he was madly in love with her. Woh meri sab kuch thi, but ab hum kuch bhi nahi hain. He had the audacity to say that to my face when I could see Riddhima would die if he didn't look at her."
Nikki laughed. "It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?"
"Always," Rahul answered. "I knew it the moment I saw Riddhima that day in the hospital after Jaanhavi's accident. I knew this day would come. I sort of even threatened Riddhima to stay away from Armaan."
"You threatened Riddhima?" Nikki exclaimed.
"Well… in my defense, I thought she was still married when I did that," Rahul replied.
"Aaahhhh, yes. You know I told her so many times that she should just tell Armaan… But when it comes to him woh kisi ki sunnti kahaan hai?" Nikki lamented.
"Wohi toh problem hai dono ki. They're too possessive and protective about each other and think they know best," Rahul sighed.
"It's actually kinda cute… But bohot problem hoti hai, yaar!" Nikki laughed. "Remember that time when Riddhima suggested that Armaan & I fake date and he got so mad. Mera naam kisi aur ke saath jodne ka haq maine kisi ko nahi diya, Riddhima… Tumhe bhi nahi. Not lying, I swooned."
Rahul guffawed. "Yeah, that's something he would say. Definitely. I remember once Muskaan wanted something to wear for a party and she asked Riddhima for a suit. Riddhima just refused point blank… Because Armaan had gifted that to her."
Nikki huffed. "I miss that. I miss seeing them like that. They were so in love it was disgusting."
"Are," Rahul corrected gently.
"What?" Nikki asked.
"You said they were. Nah. They're still just as madly in love. They're just scared to admit it. Woh Armaan aur Riddhima hai… If you think there's ever been a time when they haven't been in love with each other since the day they met, you're wrong," Rahul laughed. "Trust me, I know."
"Right," Nikki snorted. "I know it's them and you know them best, but I think you're overestimating them."
"Well, I think you're underestimating them and I'll have the last laugh when they get married in like… The next six or so months," Rahul challenged.
"Oh?" Nikki cocked a brow. "You're on!"
"Okay then," Rahul cheered. "We'll see then! Be prepared to lose so hard, Dr. Nikita Modi."
The two of them kept talking, oblivious to the looks being passed on the table. Or maybe they just didn't care enough. Armaan & Riddhima had suffered too much for far too long. And now that they were finally figuring things out, nothing was going to stop them, least of all Riddhima's ex and his family.
The doorbell rang and Rahul rushed to open it. He was greeted by the welcome sight of a sweaty Riddhima. It seemed that he had called her in the middle of her morning jog and she hadn't bothered to change before coming. "Thank god!" He exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.
"What happened?" She asked once he'd guided her inside the house and made her sit at the dining table. Sighing, he knelt on the floor in front of her and took her hands in his.
"Rahul?" Riddhima probed, her voice shaky. "You're scaring me."
"Armaan lost a patient yesterday," Rahul explained. "She was…" He trailed off.
"She was what?" Riddhima pushed.
"She was… She was shot in the spine," Rahul finally mumbled, unable to look Riddhima in the eye. Riddhima's tight grip on his hands slackened and they fell to her side at his proclamation.
"What did you just say to me?" Riddhima asked again. Turning to Abhi, she said, "This is a joke, right? You've called me here to prank me! Armaan put you up to this, didn't he? Where is he? Tell him this isn't funny!"
"Riddhima," Abhi sighed. "It's true."
"And you didn't tell me? He lost her yesterday! It's been a whole day! Why didn't anybody tell me?" Riddhima questioned. "You should've told me!"
"We didn't know," Nikki shrugged helplessly. "We called the minute we found out."
"An entire day!" Riddhima breathed. "How could you not know? What if something happened? Who would've been responsible then?"
"Riddhima… Please, relax! Calm down. Breathe. He needs you right now. He's shut himself in his room. Kisike liye darwaza nahi khol raha," Rahul explained.
Riddhima took a deep breath and wiped her tears and plastered a smile on her face. "Better?" She asked.
"Better," Rahul, Nikki, and Abhi chorussed.
"Where is he?" She asked them. Nikki pointed her in the direction of the room that Armaan had claimed for the duration of his stay. Riddhima wasted no time in knocking on his door. The other three stood a little ways away, anxiously waiting for Armaan to open the door.
"Armaan!" Riddhima called after a couple of tries. "Please, op—" her words were cut short when Armaan opened the door and pulled her to him, almost too roughly, embracing her in a tight hug.
His arms wound around her waist, as hers looped around his neck, both of them squeezing each other tight. "You're okay," he breathed.
"I'm okay," she assured him. "You should've called me."
"I forgot that I could," he mumbled in response, hiding his face in her neck. He'd had that nightmare countless times now. The one where she didn't survive the night. And every time, he'd been unable to reach out, to just ask if she was okay, if she was doing fine. All he'd had was loneliness in those long nights where nothing made him feel okay.
Rahul choked back a sob at the scene in front of him. He'd wanted this for Armaan for so long. Rahul wasn't oblivious to Armaan's nightmares and he knew that nothing would make him feel better but Riddhima's presence beside him, the one thing Rahul had been unable to provide for so long. To finally see Armaan have that, to see him get the reassurance and love he deserved… It made him so happy. Nikki rubbed his arm in a soothing gesture, unshed tears lining her eyes well. The two of them reached out simultaneously, wrapping each other in a hug as they watched their best friend find peace.
A couple moments later, Armaan stepped out of Riddhima's arms. His hand closed around hers and he pulled her into the room, closing the door behind them, very aware of their audience of three. Nikki blubbered a laugh at that. "Nothings changed, huh?"
"Nothings changed,"Rahul agreed.
"They'll be fine," Abhi assured them. "They have each other. We should let them have some time alone."
The other two agreed and they went back to the dining room, finally finding the appetite to finish their breakfast.
______
"I was very scared," Armaan admitted to Riddhima in the stillness of the room. He was lying on the bed with his head in Riddhima's lap. She was running her fingers through his hair with her free hand. The other was held tight in Armaan's grip. "Ek pal ke liye mujhe laga ki wahaan tum ho. Meri saans atak gayi thi, Basket. I thought I was going to die."
Riddhima bent down, keeping her head on top of Armaan's. "I'm okay. You're okay. We're both here, and neither of us is going to die."
"I know," Armaan sighed. "But subconsciously… Maybe I've not left that behind me. I still get nightmares about it. Most of the time, you don't survive the shoot-out."
"They're just dreams. They're not real. I'm here. I'm real. Not that," Riddhima promised and was rewarded with her first smile of the day.
After a moment, she asked, "How do you normally deal with them? The nightmares?"
"I kind of don't," he admitted sheepishly. "I just distract myself so I don't think about it… Which rarely works, but I try. Most of the time, I cook. Sometimes I write music. Rahul never leaves me alone after one… But I don't like that. I mean… Don't get me wrong. Rahul is the best. I love him, probably more than I love anyone else in the world. There's no one I trust more, not even myself. But this… I don't want him to get embroiled in this. Maybe because his presence doesn't help, it doesn't soothe the pain. Maybe… Because… Because he isn't you," he confessed.
"I get it," Riddhima soothed. "I have the same nightmare. Only… It's you who doesn't make it. And Muskaan tries so hard to cheer me up, to make it all go away, but it never goes away. Sometimes I feel that I'm still stuck in that moment. That I'm trying to hold your hand, to tell you I'm here, to make sure you're okay. It's like the world moved on, and I just stayed there. I didn't move on. And even now, I'm still there. Maybe I'll just stay there forever."
"It feels like that sometimes, doesn't it? That every moment after that moment is a lie… That it's just a figment of your imagination. It's like I can still see you there. I can see the bullet piercing you. I can see you raise your hand… To take mine. I can see the blood dripping from it. I can smell it. I can taste it. Red. Everything is red. It's all blood," Armaan whispered.
"Yes," Riddhima agreed. "But then… Sometimes, it feels like that one moment was my imagination. That it never happened. It doesn't exist in reality. It feels like I'm trapped in a nightmare. Nothing makes sense."
"You make sense," Armaan countered. "You're making sense right now. I feel that way too. Maybe we're both just wired differently. Everyone else seems to have moved on just fine."
"Everyone else didn't almost die that night," Riddhima argued. "Everyone else didn't lose the love of their life. Everyone else wasn't trapped there. Everyone else didn't go through what we did. And even if they had, it's okay that we process it differently than them."
"Have you ever tried your hand at being a therapist?" Armaan joked. "Because you're really good."
"I'm just wise," Riddhima laughed.
"That you are," Armaan agreed easily. "You always have been. So, since you're so wise… Do you know a way to make it better?"
"You think I'd still be struggling with it if I did?" Riddhima asked him.
Armaan shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you do."
"All I can think of is… Well… Let's just be there for each other, okay? I'll be there for you when you have a nightmare and you do the same for me. Maybe… Maybe the problem is that we never got a chance to talk about it. We didn't get to heal together. We didn't get to grieve together. What we lost that night… It was our entire life, Armaan. We were getting ready to marry each other. We were so excited. And then to have that taken away so brutally… I think we deserve that time to mourn what we could have been. I mean, if that hadn't happened we'd have been married for eight years now! Eight! We'd probably have like two kids at least. And a dog. And a home. And each other. And now? Now we have none of it."
"Maybe not none," Armaan countered. "We still have each other, don't we?"
"But we didn't," Riddhima argued. "For so long. We led, not only different, but such separate lives. I mean… You thought I was married till two weeks ago when I'd been single for almost six years. The one person who was supposed to know everything about me, was the one who knew the least. That hurts more than anything, Armaan. That I have to tell you things. That you weren't there to experience them with me, whether good or bad. I hate that I have to tell you how Atul proposed to Di instead of getting mad at you gor helping him plan it without telling me. I hate that I have to tell you about the night Nikumbh was born instead of teasing you about crying so much. I hate that I have to tell you about my nightmares instead of reassuring you that your presence helps me sleep at night.
We missed so much, Armaan. Our entire lives together. All because of one moment. And it just hurts so much, because I know it's my fault."
"It's not!" Armaan sprang up, pulling her to him. "It's not your fault. Never your fault. If anyone's it's mine. I shouldn't have thrown that tantrum. If I hadn't, you would never have come to the hospital."
"If I'd just told you I loved you, you wouldn't have had to do that," Riddhima countered.
"You weren't ready," Armaan argued softly. "I should have respected that."
Sighing, he added. "And we're back at it again. Didn't we decide to not blame ourselves for what happened? It was not your fault. And I guess, maybe it wasn't mine either. You didn't shoot that bullet and neither did I."
"Why does it feel like it is, then? It always feels like it's my fault," Riddhima cried.
"How can it be yours? You took a bullet for me, Basket. If anyone is to blame, it's me. It should have been me. I should've gotten shot. Not you," Armaan sobbed. He pulled Riddhima to him in a fierce hug. "You shouldn't have done that. Promise me, you'll never put your life in danger for me ever again."
Riddhima looked up at him, indignant. "Oh… So it's only okay for you to risk your life for me but not the other way round? Do you remember what you'd said when I'd asked for the same promise? Hamesha karunga. Agar tumhaari jaan chali jaayegi toh main jee kar kya karunga? Agar tumhaari jaan chali jaayegi toh main jee kar kya karungi, Armaan? I've lived without you in my life for years, but I always had that assurance in my heart that you were okay… That you were unharmed, because I knew… I always knew, in my heart of hearts that even if we spent the rest of our lives not talking to each other, I'd know if you ever got in trouble, if you ever needed me. I can't live in a world where you don't exist, Armaan. I don't even want to.
Maybe it makes me sound like a teenager… The kind of person whose life starts and ends at their partner… I don't care. Yes, without you I do have a life… I have a job, I have friends, I have family. But in these past few years, I've realized that none of this brings me the joy I got when sharing it with you. How I didn't feel as accomplished because I didn't tell you about the first time I performed a neurosurgery on my own… How I felt so lonely the day Nikumbh was born without you to share that joy with me… How I just kept thinking about you during Di's wedding.
I want to share my life with you, Armaan. Forever. Because just your presence makes my life worth living. And yes, that's every cliche out of some romance novel, maybe even co-dependent… But, I don't care. I just care about you."
"Where did you learn to make all these speeches from?" Armaan asked, swiping his eyes. "I thought I was supposed to be the more talkative one of the two of us!"
"I learnt from the best," Riddhima replied, blushing a brilliant red.
"Damn straight you did," Armaan laughed. He hugged her once again. "Ahhh, how do I feel so much better even though we spent all our time crying?" He wondered out loud. "Maybe… People aren't wrong. How does the saying go? Kuch logon ke saath waqt bitaane se hi sab kuch theek ho jaata hai."
"I see you've kept up with Bollywood in your time away. I'm proud," she complimented him at his Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani reference.
"Of course! I'm not a heathen," he cried, scandalized.
"Better not be!" She warned jokingly.
"It'll get better, right?" He asked a moment later, all joking forgotten.
"It will," Riddhima assured with a confidence she didn't entirely feel. But, she had to believe it would. For Armaan's sake. And for hers. "It will," she repeated.
"Then that's all that matters," Armaan replied, resting his head on top of hers.
Jaanam dekh lo mit gayi dooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan x (3)
Kaisi sarhadein, kaisi majbooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Tum chhupa na sakogi main woh raaz hoon
Tum bhula na sakogi woh andaz hoon
Goonjta hoon jo dil mein to hairan ho kyon
Main tumhare hi dil ki to awaz hoon
Sun sako to suno dhadkanon ki zuban
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Kaisi sarhadein, kaisi majbooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Main hi main ab tumhare khayalon mein hoon
Main jawabon mein hoon
Main sawalon mein hoon
Main tumhare har ek khwaab mein hoon basa
Main tumhari nazar ke ujaalon mein hoon
Dekhti ho mujhe dekhti ho jahaan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Jaanam dekh lo mit gayi dooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Kaisi sarhadein, kaisi majbooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
- Main Yahaan Hoon, Udit Narayan
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