Who is wrong? - Page 2

Originally posted by: surabhi01

Most marriage are arrrange marrriiage but in marriage mein parents do ask opinion from son

So bhale hi arrange marriage thi but bapuji did ssk vanraj opinion about marriage . बापूजी का, kya reaction hota kya question hota woh baat ki baat but vanraj ko truth bolna chahiye aur anupama ki zindagi nahi barbad karni chahiye

Moti baa decided in OTT no idea serial what happen who asked

I never saw serial before

Was moti baa was cruel agar ek vanraj sach bol deta and refuse to marry than moti baa start beating her grand son

Yes moti baa want anupama to marry vanraj but aisa bhi nahi if vanraj told her that he don't want to marry anupama then moti baa start beating her grandson

I think vanraj marry her because ise bhadiya free ki maid kahin nahi milege

Originally posted by: myviewprem

I agree that pakhi insulted anuj but thats her house anuj is still stranger there

But she insulted vanraj too in kapadia house too. She was not ready to go with him till threatened of permanent out

But what you are saying anuj is father place is wrong.

When own father alive no child will accept step father as father and pakhi has never accepted anuj as father at all shes just bent to her mom wishes thats all to marry a person like she bent to kavya to mary vanraj a few years back actually thats all

Anupama never asked pakhi permission to marry anuj if its ok pakhi permission never mattered to anupama about marraige just like little anus adoption. When you start treating children like option do not take their ideas about your wedding to another man or adopting kid etc they will never accept such marraige or kids. Pakhi is quiet because anuj is rich very rich and shes attracted by his wealth otherwise she never consider anuj as father or step father place. If anuj was not so rich i doubt ppakhi or toshu would attend anupama anuj wedding also in first place.

She told to anuj i am talking to my mother who are you to come between mother and daughter that means she do not accept anuj relation with anupama actually as step father too

Its easy to have second marraige but first marraige kids do not give mother or father place

Your mom dad is your mom dad step father can never get father place

How nicely has anuj treated pakhi? He was nice to her before marriage doing chaplusi so she accepts him and to show to anupama hes nice to her kids

Otherwise as such anuj comes across as Matlabi person he does not truly care for malvika or pakhi as own daughter or sister actually when it comes to anything. He only told in kitchen to malvika jab tumhari anu ki baat hai toh yeh bbanda khudraz hai. That was message to malvika go to hell for me when it comes to anupama you do not matter. Now in fight also instead of resolving issue hes saying do not enter house. You are after my wealth means adhik wealth. She may be but you do not tell a daughter you are after my property or wealth. A real daughter has all right on your wealth actually. So that means anuj do not consider pakhi as his own daughter its all drama pakhu pakhu any child will go wild only.

Only kavya whole hearted is a mother to pakhi or samar without any expectations from them actually of respect or not from before

If pakhi wants anuj wealth even anuj is no saint hes never given daughter place to pakhi hes just nice to pakhi to please anupama

anuj must understand kids have more right on parents than a spouse. Thats why you cannot divorce your kids but you can divorce your hubby. Even law agrees kids cannot divorce parents or vice versa no matter how much you hate. Anupama was explaining to pakhi and so was kavya and kinjal toh iska khudna sahi nahi. Hes a new man in their life they do not accept his as family still.

I am not saying pakhi should consider Anuj as his father ! All I am saying why to drag step father in your fight with your mother ?! Just because you step father supports your mother in everything and you find it wrong so you are dragging him in your fight with your mother !

Another thing , yes pakhi was insulting anuj in her house but that was clearly because her mother become wealthy because of Anuj , Anuj transfer property and power to her mother’s name which she dislikes to the core in her own words so pakhi is basically disliking Anuj for treating her mother like Queen as she said her mother was slave in shah house jiski ek nahi chalti thi .

Jaha bhi anupama ko Queen ke jaise treat kiya jayega , power position diya jayega waha unn logo se pakhi badtammizi karne par utar ayegi and she is doing the same since years.

If a daughter can ask her mother to leave the house then even the Father has all the rights to throw such a daughter out of his house!! And in this case it is not even the Father. Also, he is not throwing pakhi on road where it is not safe for her but he is only restricting her from coming to his house. Pakhi has a home full of a complete family where she completely safe.

My parents will definitely not hesitate to from throwing me out the house if I ever try to become their parent.

And about Anuj not loving pakhi as his own daughter then I think it was very clear even before the wedding that Anuj never wanted to take vanraj's place. He might become their friend, guide or anything but never a father, because they already have one. But Anuj is a decent human and treats everyone like one that's why he is good to them as long as they don't misbehave with him or his Anu. He didn't do anything wrong there. And in malavika's case, he didn't left malvika but malvika left him even though it's true that he didn't stop her but it was because he already did the mistake of forcing his decision on malvika believing that it was for her good but we all know what happened with her. He must have hated himself for that And that's why he was in no condition to force his opinion on her again.

Also I don't think that there is anything wrong with supporting ur spouse over ur children. Even though u can't divorce ur children but eventually ur children do leave u. Maybe for higher studies or for their job and then for their own family after getting married. Even in sociology, in the concept of primary family - it consists of father mother and their children and once the children gets married thier parents becomes secondary family. Ur spouse is called better half for a reason because only they will by ur side always. Even when old parents became ill, the children definitely care about them, take them for treatment, pay for it but they won't be able to stay by ur side for 24/7. They will eventually go to their respective jobs and families. It's only ur life partner in true sense who will by ur side always. So, In my opinion this is the way it should be!

Also about not asking Pakhi's permission before marriage and adopting choti Anu. I agree with u, because their opinion matters. Though pakhi and toshu were totally selfish at that point of time and definitely weren't thinking about their mom but still their opinion mattered. But they did accept kavya and vanraj's wedding, so why not Anu's? It wasn't like Anu was breaking the family and she was already not living with them so by opposing the marriage they were being Hippocrates!! And about adopting choti Anu, so I think first of all Pakhi is angry because she couldn't stay at kapadiya mantion and it would have happened the same way regardless of choti Anu being there or not.

Couldn't follow all coz it's a long post. But you are saying that because Anupama spent more time with the children, she is more responsible for giving values to the children? If you mean in the sense that her children grew up watching their mom's personality more than their dad's then somehow it's acceptable. Yes, they saw and watched Anupama more than Vanraj. But along with Anupama there was Baa also. So, the children grew ho watching Baa also. Plus their genetics which comes from Vanraj and Baa.

If you mean that Anupama failed to teach them lesson despite being with them 24*7 then I want to disagree here because a homemaker doesn't only spend all her time on her children. She needs to do household chores and take care of the other members of the family. Plus it was never 24*7, children also go to school and come back, go out with friends, etc. She may have taught many things but she can't always check all the good and bad traits of the children, that's why there are two parents. If the mother fails to see certain bad habits in a child, the father does. So, even if someone gives a child 24 hours in a day, it's not possible to correct everything in a child.

You know there is an African proverb that's goes, "it takes a village to raise a child." So, just coz Anupama wasn't working outside of home, doesn't mean she can be blamed more than Vanraj.

In fact, the parents, both mother and father are not solely responsible for a child's character development.

Who is wrong?! Good question. Answer: Everyone ( as you rightly mentioned).

This is based on both the webseries and the tv show.

About Moti Baa: She was a visionary and modern minded lady who supported Anupama who she chose as her pota bahu. Mind you, she chose Anupama as the Daughter-in-law not as Vanraj's wife.

Moti Baa's lack of trust in delegation of authority and her own nature, Leela and she never got along.

So, Moti Baa's choices (Leela and Anupama) independently, were right but not in the context of family or as partners.

Silence is equivalent to supporting an abuse. So Everyone is equally wrong.

Few people who seem to have been mostly right are: Kanta, Rakhi and Kavya to some extent.

They have been clear about their priorities, spoken their mind, not succumbed to peer pressure, called out people when wrong, accepted their mistakes, tried to rectify them.

Rest ALL, 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Not sure how, even after calling out the negativity of the show, the TRP is high and it tops ranking.

Pakhi was more mature as a teenager than an adult.

I remember this episode when her classmate invited her to his house and tried to get close, she slapped him.

Aur abhi she's blind in wealth that doesn't even belon to adhik. He lives there because MaAn are stupid when it comes to "family"

Soo much convinience writing, because ultimately it's business.

Yes everyone is wrong here.

Pakhi never respected her mother. She always had a problem with her. Maybe if it was a normal family the father would have put some sense in his daughter's head and asked her to respect her mother. But here we know what Vanraj did. He himself never gave respect to Anupama and so the children excepting Samar did the same.

Anupama did not give good values to Pakhi. There is no doubt in that. She was a pampered child right from the beginning. Just giving long lectures will not change the children. Both she and Vanraj have failed as parents. Rakhi has done a better job.

Today's episode was very disturbing. Self respect is very important. There are many ways to meet Kinjal or Babuji but Anupama did not use it. She had to learn it the hard way. And why so much worried about Kinjal. She has a mother who is both physically and financially capable of taking care of her.

And why is Anuj sending Choti Anu to that mad house when he knows that she is not welcome there?

Originally posted by: Xarina

I think when you’re looking at the failings in upbringing we must look at both Vanraj and Leela where Toshu and Pakhi are concerned. Toshu was the first grandchild and male heir for Leela. I’m sure that Leela would’ve treated him like a prince and pandered to all his whims, over riding any of Anupama’s wishes and made him the obnoxious person that he is. Pakhi came along and she was treated like a princess, pampered, pandered because she is Vanraj’s offspring. Picking up the vibes from Leela and then later that Anupama is only fit to be a servant and has reduced parental rights these two children have followed in Leela’s and Vanraj’s attitudes and negated all of Anupama’s sacrifices and hard work. Such is the saying that it takes a woman to give birth to a child but a village to raise it.

Samar on the other hand was most likely ignored as he was the plus 1 and did not have the same interferences.

If only baa and vanraj is responsible for pakhi and toshu's behavior and upbringing and they are the one who ignore samar than what is the Anupama doing 24/7. It's not all time goes to household works.

There is lot's of housewives who did all the household work.but give a good upbringing to there child.

I think anupama never try to give them any moral value because according to her baa and vanraj is the best grand mother and father in the world.

Now also she always say vanraj is the best father and best insaaan then how come she got to know that her child are spoiled and try to correct them.

How come baa and vanraj can stop her if she herself doesn't know there is something wrong.

If Leela and vanraj treated them as prince and princess then anupama still tread them as ....

Anupama give lectures on a good human being etc etc but the next sec. she goes to my child is the best.

so the lectures also just empty there is no meaning in them.

After reading all the post here I would like to say that the writers are wrong because of the way they shape the story.

Especially the last few episodes it showed that the writers are wrong because when there is a need for a dialogue the writers don't add it.

Anupama is wrong because she expects a lot from her children and everyone. She should let them be on their own now.

Vanraj is forever wrong so don't want to add anything here.

Baa and Babuji. Baa is blind in her love for her son and Babuji was always quiet. no more to add here.

Coming to the kids the way Paakhi and Toshu are lashing on Anu is totally wrong. What is her fault in all this

Was her fault that she was not the type of girl Vanraj had wanted. He said he only saw her as a wife and nothing else and he made sure she stays as a wife and nothing else and later cries that she was forced on him. Why he could have said that he dont want her even if it was a choice by his grand mother. He should have said it at that time after all his life was about to get destroyed. But he stayed quiet so he cannot blame her at this point.

Was Vanraj's Affair also Anupama's fault and if it was then why was it Kavya and not Ritika. Why wait 8 years to start it with Kavya and not continue it with Ritika. Anupama did not change in the first 10 years would she change in the next 8 years after Paakhi is born.

They all were a witness as to how Anu reacted when she found out about the affair and yet she gets blamed, why. Anuj and Mukku felt so bad for Anu when she told them about it but the Shah house who were witnesses dont even care about it. That's why Vanraj's affair was right but Anu's friendship was wrong.

Pakhi and Toshu wanted Anu to forgive Vanraj and stay in the marriage, why so that Vanraj can keep both the women in his life. It was he who went after Anu to the temple to ask her to continue the marriage but she refused. That's fine, but if you actually are guilty then you should try to win her trust not run to Kavya's house and then blame Anu that she wanted divorce and not a second chance. She did give him the chance but he did not take it. So only then she filed for divorce.

And as being said here that because Toshu and Pakhi are the first male and female child in the family they have been valued and pampered more than Samar. That's why whatever Samar does it is wrong. And it is proved when everytime Toshu and Paakhi blame Anu and Samar stands by her.

No matter what Toshu and Pakhi believe the vanraj was never wrong. Toshu believed when Vanraj put all the blame on Kavya for the affair and Paakhi supporting Vanraj's marriage over Anu's only because he is a man.

If a man can marry why can't a woman marry. Why does she have to bear all the responsibilities. And the whole Shah were speaking as if Anu was going to marry a very young man whose age is same as Kavya. She was marrying a man who is the same age as her so what was the shame in it.

And Toshu and Paakhi got very angry that Maan adopted little Anu. It is fair by their POV after all Anu is their mother and they will have trouble accepting a younger sibling. This happened all of a sudden and their anger is justified but what if Anu gets pregnant with Anuj's child so then what will happen. They will ask her to abort it because they wont be able to share their mother with anyone else. And why Toshu got riled up only because his friend mocked his mother and her lover. If Anu can have a child with Anuj Kavya too can have a child with Vanraj or was it that Vanraj promised that he will never have a child with Kavya. And they had problem with Anu adpoting Little Anu and if Kavya adopted a child like she said she wanted little Kavya then who will be that Child's father. It will be Vanraj then what will the kids do. They can't just say that its Kavya's child and let it be. And Anuj never forced Anu he told her his wish once and again asked her the second time. This was her own decision.

And about the kids opinion on Anu's marriage. Did Vanraj ask his kids opinion before marrying Kavya so why should Anu ask. Kavya blamed everyone for Vanraj's absence during her wedding. Still Anu told him to decide for the last time. So then why did he go for it. He then should have again asked the family for their opinion and if he was not keen on marrying Kavya then he should have not done and yet it was Anupama's fault.

Toshu blamed his mother for everything that went wrong in his life he did not even value that his mother sold of her jewelleries to get that one ring for Kinjal. That was a big sacrifice. Any other mother would not do that, she gave everything to him and left nothing for her other kids. And then him blaming Anu for adopting little Anu and not caring for her upcoming grandchild. Sorry but that is your child and its your reponsibility not hers. Then if your child tomorrow gets very close to Anu and not you and kinjal then it will become Anu's fault again. She did say that she will look after the child but she did too say that she will have trouble handling both families so she might not give enough time to all. Toshu does not deserve to be a father. Kinjal should have left the house that same birthday night.

And Rakhi, Anupama told many times that Toshu said this and that to his child. And Rakhi who says that she cares for Kinjal. Any other mother would not keep quiet if she hears that her daughters's husband say all this to a child that is not yet born, like manhoos and unwanted. Shw would at that moment take her daughter back to her house.

And Paakhi, because Vanraj over pampered her right when she was born. She was bound to turn out like that. No matter what Anu does Vanraj always puts her wrong. and Paakhi knowing that her father had an affair and yet she happily went to stay with Kavya only because Anu refused maybe something because they were short on money and Vanraj's job was gone too. Anu went all out to celebrate her birthday and yet a small game by Kavya turned the girl against her mom. Both Anu and Kavya were right when they said that she is true to no one not even her own father.

Paakhi was always after luxuries, be it when she went to stay with Kavya or when she saw Anuj's home be it ancestor or new.

her interaction with Barkha made her want to dress up classy and join the house warming party. Paakhi's attitute should have been in Kinjal after all her mother is very rich. The point in which she said that Anu got ghamand only because Anuj was rich and she cant handle the money and fame she got after marrying to Anuj. If that was the case then Anu would not have invited them to the party in the first place. The moment paakhi landed on the gate of Kapadia mansion she called her own family Middle Class and became ashamed to be from the Shahs. Then she did not like Anu stopping the party for the pooja at all and then Vanraj fighting the guest for the insult that her own grandfather went through, she hated that badly.

And then she blamed Maan for not stopping her. On what right should they stop her. At least when you want to go to Kapadia house inform your mother that you are coming there even if it was a lie. You come in her house and blame her for not letting her stay as if her father approved her stay there and her mother refused. And Vanraj agrees with what Paakhi says to Anu and not stoping her even when Kavya told him to stop.

Kavya was right that one day Paakhi will give it to him too and she did it after the house warming party but for Vanraj one experience was not enough. Just like how Toshu gave it back to him twice Paakhi will do it too.

For Paakhi and Toshu there is no Give and Take, they only Take and not Give. And if you both hate Anuj then why even come to the wedding. No one forced them on it it was their own choice and Toshu venting his anger on his family and friends is wrong. And Paakhi writes her wishes to the universe but cant write her troubles away. She is way too Jealous of all the other ladies be it Kinjal, Nandu, Mukku and now her Mom. She was jealous when she saw Mukku being treated like a princess by Anuj and now her Mom being treated like a Queen. She is now having trouble because she is the youngest and pampered child in Shah house so she wants to be the same in Kapadia house too. She can't stand Choti Anu being pampered in Kapadia house. If she had issue with Anu bringing Choti Anu to the Shah house she should have told Anu to keep Choti Anu in Kapadia house or if not then to Anu's Mom's house but not bring her in this house. But she insulted her Mom, that little girl and Anuj too. That was not good at all.

Anuj did right by telling her to to not step in Kapadia house again. This same Anuj who did not stand Toshu's insult against Anu being a friend will surely not keep quiet against Paakhi being a husband now.

Out of these 3 kids of Anu only Samar actually handles the situation well. Even though seeing his Journey he should have been the most violent kid of the Shah because he was always sidelined and insulted by his father and his siblings. So this child should have more anger then the other two but he is the most sorted out of the three.

I actually feel that the story is not or never about Anupama but the Shah's because the writers are so attached to the Shah's that they can't write a episode without them or a track without them. Let alone these two, they cant even write a parallel track at all. THey had many perfect chances for that but they missed, and now especially after Maan's marriage why involve two families together. why cant they make it parallel.

Sorry it turned out very long, but had to share my POV too.