"Tumne mujhe duniya ki saari khushi di lekin meri ek aur duniya hai, mera parivaar..."
"Mera pyaar jab tak meri pareshani tha tab tak main sambhal sakti thi lekin dekhte hi dekhte mera pyaar mere parivaar ki takleef banta Gaya."
"Aisa pyaar nahi maanga tha maine."
They say words once said are like bullets. You could never take them back after pressing the trigger. And her words were trigger to his already burning, scared and tired soul.
His heart was set on fire and his soul burnt, everytime she chose her family over him. Not that he hates it. It was one of the many reasons, he fell in love for her. He hates when she gives him hope and then leave him stranded.
He was scared because everyone leaves and everyone left. And he can't imagine loosing his Akshu. No, this just can't be happening.
And he was tired from all the fights and burdens. He chose to fight but he never wanted to be alone. But he chose this... He can't even complain.
"Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe it's just my delusional and I am not hurt...." Taking few quick deep breaths, he tried to calm himself. "Yeah, I am definitely not hurt. Akshu has the right to worry over her family and share her feelings. Mera takleef tha tab tak theek tha.... Aisa pyaar nahi maanga tha" Tears pooled in his eyes. "No, no... It's all in my mind." The tension in his chest rose. His hand shook.
"No... Not again... Not again," his head started throbbing and he wanted to scream but the voice was stuck in the larynx. He wanted to let it all out.
He curled up in his bed, hiding his face in the pillow. He can't cry... He should not cry. He was not supposed to cry. He was supposed to be understanding, calm, understanding and the bigger person in the relationship. He was not supposed to feel helpless and let his emotions drive him.
He had done it before and it never ended well. He should not... "Aaaahhhhhhhhh..... Aaahhhhhhhh.." he screamed in his pillow.
His heart wrenching cry must have reached the ears of God as the clouds rumbled.
Par wo kehte hai na, jo badal baraste hai wo garjate nahi hai. It did not rain.
His phone rang beside him. Sitting up by the headrest, he took in a few deep breaths. Feeling better, he wiped away the spilled tears and answered the phone.
"Good evening, Dr Abhimanyu Birla speaking."
"Good evening sir. Sorry to disturb you this late but it's kind of an emergency," a voice from the other end said.
He sat up straight as he identified the urgency in his voice, "Not an issue, Mr Mehta. Please go on."
"There was a dispute between two communities in Kashmir which went overboard and lead to several people getting injured. Bacche, jawan, aurat, mard, buddhe sab hai. And hospital there have denied them help. They heard about ManAksh and have asked for help but since you have rejoined Birla hospital, we have not said yes because we need you to lead the unit there." Mr Mehta said. His forehead lined with worry.
He understood that they needed his orders but they needed medical attention for god sake. You never leave people in need hanging. But anger will not do any good. He let out a heavy breath, "Say yes. And ready the unit. We are leaving tomorrow at 5AM, " he said looking at the clock that shows 11:30PM night.
Exchanging few more words in regards of formalities and travel plan, they decided it betters to take his private jet till Srinagar and will go from bus to the camp area. And staying would not be a problem because Birla have a property there.
It was already 12 when he checked that everything was arranged and will be right on time.
He decided it's best he leaves a text for Akshara. She needs space from him. Maybe he's is too much for her. Shaking his head to get rid of the thoughts, he started to pack. It's only for a week, so it did not took him long.
"Kapde, medicines, toiletries, earphones, charger, book... Haan sab kuch Hain." Zipping the back, he put it aside and started to reviews the cases and clear his schedule from Birla hospital.
"No important surgeries are lined up. All the cases are reviewed. Will give it to Neil tomorrow, he will give it to Dr Rohan," He collected it and put it on his study table.
As he sat down to review Manish file, he wrote the necessary precautions to take. 'Get well soon Mr Goenka.' Leaving the note there in the file, he left to take a hot shower.
Dr Harshvardhan Birla always use to get up at 3AM to drink a glass of water while his wife, Manjari gets up at 4:00 AM everyday and enjoys her me time for two hours before getting busy for the days work.
But this time, it was different. Harshvardhan saw the lights on of Abhi room. He knew he cannot sleep for much time but he never keeps his lights on.
He knocked on Abhimanyu's door before entering and saw a travel bag packed and his eyes widened in shock.
At the same time, Abhi came out wiping his hair with towel and saw Sir standing at the entrance of the gate with a shocked expression.
"Ye sab kya hai Abhimanyu... Dekho kuch bhi ho aise ghar se bhaagna thik nahi hai," he pointed.
Why does his voice have hint of fear?
Shaking his head at the absurdity of his thoughts, he found rolling his eyes at the stupid question more entertaining. "Bhaagna hota na sir toh bachpan mein hi bhaag jaata. Abhi kaam se jaa raha hun. Aapko message kar diya hai and HR ko bhi inform kar diya tha. Koi surgery lined up nahi hai and cases review kar diye hai." He said while roaming around his room.
Harshvardhan let out a relieved breath. "Acha matlab Birla hospital nahi chod rahe ho na," he put a band on his chest.
Abhimanyu turned to look at his father amused. Father? He scoffed as bitter memories filled him.
On the other hand, Manjari eyes drooped open and finding Harsh gone longer than usual, she hopped off to see where he is.
Finding the lights of Abhi room on, she frowned. Her steps halted at the door of the room and eyes widened like she have just seen a ghost.
Bhoot dekh leti toh bhi thik tha but ye Abhi ke room mein?
"Ab aapko kya hua Maa?!" Abhi was tired from all the drama.
This snapped Manjari from her thoughts and her eyes met Harsh. So they have not realised. It's for the better.
"Kuch nahi," she entered and looked around. "Tu kahin Jaa Raha hai?" She asked as she noticed the bags packed and kept in the corner of the room.
"Haan... Wo," and he started to fill in the details of why and what while roaming around his room, taking out a shirt and ironing it. Also took out his jacket which he will need.
The scene was so domestic and reminded Manjari about Abhimanyu childhood when he used to call Harsh Papa.
Maybe all is not lost.
Harsh looked at Abhi and a serene feeling filled him. He finally found his shore. Maybe silence is all that needed to bridge the gap. Or maybe both silence and conversations are needed. But anyhow, for the first time in many years, both son and father stood under a roof without them being angry at each other and Abhi being quiet in his presence.
It's time to be found.
Abhimanyu looked at his parents who are lost and have a small smile. He rolled his eyes. "Back to earth guys."
"Yeah yeah... We are here." They both said and Abhi just looked on weirdly.
Changing the subject, Manjari said, "tu ne mujhe uthaya kyu nahi... Main tere liye khana bana deti... Gadhera," as she hit him on his forehead and goes on to ran her fingers in his hair.
She frowned when he did not said a word. He just smiled at her. A smile that did not reach his eyes.
"Maa, kal raat ka khana rakha hua hai. Main wo khaa kar chala jaunga and humne udhar khane ka intezam kiya hai. Tension mat lo." He caressed her cheek.
"Abhi chalta hua. Idhar se aadha ghanta lagta hai apne farmhouse jaane mein and I should be there before anyone else," he bend down to take her blessings and nodded at Harsh before he left.
Manjari went inside while Harsh stood there as Abhi put his things in the car.
"Don't forget to take the files from the table," Abhi said before opening the car door.
"Abhi," Harsh called out. His chest heavy with pain. "Haan??"
"Tumne Akshara ko maaf kar diya... Mujhe kyu nahi?!" He did not want to ask, not now especially not now as he was leaving for important work, but he could not help. He was tired from keeping it to himself.
"Usne jo kiya aur aapne jo kiya usme bohot fark hai."
"Kya fark hai... Hum dono ne hi tumse jhooth bola... Baatein chupayai" he was helpless. He just don't know why he was all the sudden feeling this.
Abhi was shocked to hear this to say the least. " Wo aapko pata karna hai ki kya fark hai." And with that he drove away.
As everyone settled in the seats and he himself got settled in the last corner seat, he felt his mask slipping as tiredness finally took over him.
"Aisa pyaar nahi chahiye tha mujhe"
"Tumne Akshara ko maaf kar diya... Mujhe kyu nahi"
Did he really forgave her?
The words and the questions haunted him throughout the journey. But one week has a lot more to bring in.
Author note: Ready for all the joota chappal. Not tagging anyone because it's not upto the mark?
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