TDBU #3 [An AR FF] - (Track 66 to 69 - Page 82/83) - Page 56

So so happy for them!! They are finally together now! Yayyy!!! Just loved the whole conversation between Armaan and Riddhima!! 

Some positive attitude they both hod but somewhere i felt ridhima should have gone ahead and hugged him. There is for sure this insecurity of getting hurt again as they have the past of love with hurts one after other. but sometimes physical touch is very much needed to break and make your decision.

noo praags nooo...this isn't how it supposed to happen..it should be in a different way...i just don't like it for the first time...m sorry if m getting harsh but i didn't feel right so...armaan should have come to give them all a surprise... then he should watch riddhima's behaviour secretly and then come to the conclusion of talking to her..but maybe i thought in a different way than yours but its your thoughts that counts..i just told you what i feel about this part...sorry if i offended you 

take care 

update soon

Previously On...

Jaanhavi and Rohan get married. Armaan & Riddhima talk. Riddhima confesses to Armaan.

Track Fifty Five - Phir Le Aya Dil, Arijit Singh

Armaan stepped outside the Mumbai airport, his heart in his throat. Ever since he’d boarded the plane to New York with Rahul all those years ago, he had never come back to India, much less Mumbai, ever. Not even when Rahul had flown back to have Mummy settled in her new home after Raj Uncle passed away. But, here he was today. Just because of the one woman who had always made him throw his plans out the window, the one who had made him do things he’d never imagined doing. Riddhima. Because who else would it be for whom he’d cross all seven oceans and face his worst fears?

Ever since Riddhima had confessed to him, there was little else that Armaan had thought of. With the house entirely empty, there was no one around for him to ever stop thinking about that one conversation. Every word that Riddhima had said that night was seared into his memory, replaying on loop. A small part of him had wanted to immediately say yes to Riddhima's confession, but logically he knew that he needed to think about it before making any commitments. But, when he hadn't been able to arrive at a conclusion for days, he'd turned to Sonakshi for support, because she'd gone through something similar and had since successfully reunited with Dev. It had been the right thing to do. One conversation with her, and here he was, back in Mumbai, wanting to meet Riddhima.

Maybe he was being a little too hasty in his decision, taking only seven days to think it over after spending seven years apart, but in his heart, Armaan knew this was the right choice. Armaan had always been a little in love with Riddhima, since the first day that he'd met her, right up till now. It was a fact that he'd accepted would be true forever and moved on with his life. It was only after Riddhima told him that she still loved him when Armaan started to realize that maybe that little wasn't so little after all.

He hadn't even realized it, but spending all that time with her in New York, planning the wedding, going shopping, eating out, hanging out together to just catch up… all that time that he'd spent with her… he'd been falling for her again. He hadn't even realized it. It was only after Riddhima wasn't around anymore that he started to realize how huge a part of his life she'd become in just a few days, and how badly he missed her. Armaan had only been in denial, or maybe, he'd been oblivious. He had always felt that way around Riddhima… the urge to keep smiling wide, to make her laugh, the nervous excitement in his stomach, the contentment in his heart. He associated these things with Riddhima so subconsciously that he'd never thought about it in depth.

If it hadn't been for Sonakshi pointing out things for him, he may never have even understood. She was always smart about such things, and knowing that she’d gone through something similar recently, he had sought her out for advice and after everything, here he was.

Two days ago, dinner at Armaan’s

“I need your advice,” Armaan told Sonakshi once they’d finished eating.

“I knew something was up when you invited me over out of the blue,” Sonakshi replied. “Spill.”

“My ex said she’s still in love with me,” he blurted out lest he chicken out later.

“Ex?” She asked.

“Riddhima,” Armaan supplied helpfully. “She’s my ex from when I was back in India.”

“You mean, the one who got married to someone else when you were away getting treated for your injuries after the shootout?” Sonakshi questioned. “Riddhima is that ex?”

“Yep,” Armaan agreed. “That’s Riddhima.”

“And?” She prodded.

“She’s not with her husband anymore. They separated years ago… she… she got an annulment. She wants to be with me again,” Armaan answered.

“Wow,” Sonakshi commented, not knowing how else to articulate what she was feeling.

“Yes,” Armaan added. “Exactly what I felt. I never expected this. In fact, when we first met a few weeks ago, I thought she was still married. She only told me about the annulment a few days ago. And she confessed on the night before she flew back to India. Now, I’m stuck here, replaying her confession over and over again, not knowing what to do.”

“Do you love her too?” Sonakshi asked. “Are you still in love with her?”

“Do you think that we’d be sitting here if I knew the answer to that?” Armaan fired back rhetorically.

Sonakshi laughed, making Armaan glare at her. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” Sonakshi said. “It’s just… I can’t believe this is happening. But… tell me… how can I help you with this? Only you can get yourself out of this. I can’t tell you whether you’re in love with her or not.”

“Well, you can certainly help me understand if I still am,” Armaan countered. “How did you decide to give Dev another chance?”

“Things were different for us, Armaan,” Sonakshi replied. “I realized I was still in love with Dev when he was on the verge of getting engaged to someone else. When I thought he would spend his life with someone who is not me… that’s what it took for me to realize I loved him. Now, I’m guessing nothing of the sort has happened to you.”

“And thank god for that!” Armaan exclaimed.

“How do you feel with her?” Sonakshi asked. “You’re not naive or stupid. You’ve been in love before. You know what that feels like.”

“Yes,” Armaan agreed. “But I’m worried that maybe that’s just me being nostalgic of what we had, and not me still being in love with her.”

“Okay… fair,” Sonakshi replied after thinking about it for a moment. “But that does not help us… so, let’s do a very cheesy, Bollywood style experiment to see if you still love her the way you did back then.”

“What?” Armaan asked, confused.

“Bollywood has all the answers, Dr. Mallik,” Sonakshi replied. “And it will help you decide whether you’re still in love with Riddhima. But, I will need you to do this sincerely and not laugh at anything I ask you to do.”

“Fine,” Armaan conceded. “Whatever you say.”

“Good boy,” Sonakshi praised. “Okay… now. Close your eyes.”

When Armaan did as she asked, she continued. “Imagine your life… 20 years from now. Everyone in your family has grown up… they have happy, fulfilling lives. They’re all living the life they want. And you are too. You’re happily married. You have kids. You have a job you love. You’re at dinner with all the people you love. Your wife is sitting next to you. You lean in and whisper something to her and she turns to give you a bright smile… Who is she, Armaan?”

“Riddhima…” Armaan mumbled dreamily. “Riddhima.”

A moment later, he came back to his senses and said, “Well… that was a bust. We both knew it would be her.”

“Did we?” Sonakshi asked. “I didn’t.”

“Liar,” Armaan rebuffed. “We’ve been talking about Riddhima. Of course it would be her. And even if we hadn’t… like I said… I am very confused about my feelings for her. So, of course I’d see her because she’s the only person I am contemplating about in such a manner. This was of no help at all. I still don’t know if I really love her.”

“No help at all?” She asked, pouting.

“None,” he reiterated. “This was so stupid, Shona! Can’t you think of better ideas?”

“Why must I have all the ideas?” She whined.

“Well… you’re the smart one, aren’t you? And you’re the one who has a happy romance after getting back with your ex! I thought you’d have good ideas!” Armaan exclaimed.

“Ahhh, so that’s what this is about. You think that because I got back with Dev and I’m happy now, I know what to do about your situation as well, huh?” Sonakshi asked.

“I mean… is it wrong to think that way?” He bit back.

“Not really, no,” she agreed. “But, every person is different and every relationship is different. What worked for me won’t necessarily work for you too.”

“What worked for you, though? How were you so sure about Dev?” Armaan asked, genuinely curious.

“It wasn’t Dev,” Sonakshi answered. “It was me. It was what I could live with. I didn’t want to not give him a chance and then regret it for the rest of my life. It took me a while to realize that I was still in love with him, but before that… there was that fear that I would regret letting him go. So, I didn’t let him go. Before becoming a couple again, we were friends first… because having him in my life in any capacity was better than not having him at all.”

“That is actually very smart,” Armaan murmured.

“It is,” Sonakshi replied. “I can’t say if that’s the way you should go about it, too, but hey! What have you to loose if you do?”

“All my progress in the last seven years?” Armaan asked rhetorically. “I get regrets, Shona. I have many when it comes to Riddhima. And I get that I would regret it if I don’t give this a chance again, because the future is so uncertain. But, it’s also because the future is so uncertain that I’m afraid. What if I do this, and it ends badly again? I won’t be able to deal with it.”

“You’re selling yourself short, Maani. You’re not the same person you were all those years ago, neither is she. Neither will your relationship be the way it was back then. Do you really think that neither of you have learned anything from your past? Do you think that you both will make the same mistakes again? That you’ll hurt each other so much once more despite having gone through that pain once?” She asked him.

Before Armaan could reply though, she continued. “And… what if, because of this, you let her slip through your fingers again and then twenty years later, you remember this moment, when you had a chance… when she had come to you, asked you to be with her… and you let it go because you were afraid. Isn’t it always better to do something and fail than to regret not even trying in the first place? That way… all those years later, you won’t be bitter. You’ll know that you tried your best.”

“But…” Armaan tried to protest, only to be cut off again.

“Listen to me. I am not asking you to marry her tomorrow. No. You don’t have to make any firm commitments, or promise her anything. But, you can give it a chance, right? Talk to her, get to know her again, let her see you again… see how much you both have changed and grown in the past few years without each other… and then… when you’ve spent time with her, things will be clearer, won’t they? You can decide then, if you want to pursue a romantic relationship with her… or if you can continue on as friends or acquaintances or whatever.

You’ll always be in each other’s lives now, won’t you? I know she’s Muskaan’s best friend, Armaan. I’ve seen how close the two of them are. She won’t be able to leave Muskaan anymore than you’ll be able to leave Rahul. Will you spend the rest of your life just maintaining a distance from her and wondering what if? Won’t that be even more painful than your relationship failing?”

And so, here he was. Because Sonakshi was right. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life wondering what if. He didn’t want to have regrets later. He knew that he was taking a big gamble, doing this, especially when he wasn’t even a 100% sure of his own feelings, but he also knew that if this somehow ended badly for him, his family would be there to support him through the aftermath of it. He has grown from the last time that everything happened and he won’t break the way he did then, he knows. He also knows that while Riddhima had hid the truth from him initially, she was also the one to finally come clean to him as well. She may have made a mistake, but that did not mean that she hadn’t learnt from their past as well. He was optimistic enough to know that even if this chance didn’t end with him and Riddhima back together, it would not be anywhere as bad as it had been the last time.

And, if he even had the slightest bit of hope that things could get better, that the two of them could get better, he had to seize this opportunity and take this chance. He would never know if he didn’t try. If he wanted that happy ending, he would have to be brave. Armaan was many things, but a coward he was not. He would be brave, once more. For himself, for Riddhima, for their relationship. He had done it in the past and he could do it again. He would try his best and hope for the best. That’s all he could do anyway, couldn’t he?

Thanks to a chat with Muskaan, he already had the address to the apartment she shared with Riddhima. The city really had not changed much in the last few years that he’d stayed away. As terrified as he was about what he was about to do, he was also extremely happy to be back. This had been his home once. It was where he’d found some of the best friends he’d ever had, where he’d fallen in love for the first, and perhaps only, time, and where he’d started his career. Letting go of it had been the right decision, but he would always hold on to a part of this city that had given him just as much as it had ended up taking away from him. It was bittersweet nostalgia that plagued him as he looked outside the window of his taxi, taking in the city anew.

Standing in front of Riddhima’s apartment, he willed himself to breathe calmly as he prepared to ring the doorbell, when he belatedly realized he didn’t even know if Riddhima was home. He was debating whether he should just give in and call her or maybe leave and try again later, with a clearer head, when the front door opened, and then, there she was. There she was. There she was.

Riddhima looked dumbstruck to see him standing at his doorstep which was pretty understandable. The two of them stood there for what seemed like an eternity, just gazing at each other, drinking each other in, before Armaan broke the silence with a timid, "Hi."

"H--H---- Hi…" Riddhima fumbled. "Wh… uh… what? What are… What are you doing here?" She asked, fighting her instincts to just forget everything and throw herself into his arms. She still remembered the feeling from a few days ago, when they'd hugged for the first time in years. The sensation burned into her skin, seared into her very soul for the rest of time. Armaan had caged her in his arms and she'd never felt safer. Everything had seemed possible in that moment, every happiness hers to take. She wanted that feeling again. Even if just for a second.

"Can we talk?" Armaan asked, pulling Riddhima out of the memory.

"Of course," she murmured. "Come on in."

Armaan smiled gratefully and followed her inside the house. It was a modest two bedroom apartment, a far cry from the Gupta Mansion, and even the luxurious condo Sid had been living in. The hall was just large enough to accommodate a sofa, not enough room for even a dining table. Armaan actually wasn't sure how Riddhima managed to cook in the kitchen, given how messy she was when she cooked. He'd seen her cook enough times to realize that not even the kitchen at the Guptas was huge enough for her. She had the habit of spreading everything out, and only cleaning up once she'd finished preparing her meal, something that would definitely not be possible in the small kitchen this apartment had.

The place may have been small, but it was clearly well loved, from what he could see. A sweatshirt that he recognized as Anjali's lay on the back of the sofa, probably forgotten. When he followed Riddhima into the kitchen to help her brew some coffee, he could see Atul's preferred brand of tea sitting on top of the shelf. He watched with a smile as Riddhima cleaned as she cooked, putting away things instead of waiting till everything was done. The cups she poured their coffee into could not have been chosen by anyone other than Nikki, he was sure.

"Here's your black coffee with 2 spoons of sugar," she told him, handing him a mug. It warmed his heart to know that she still remembered how he took his coffee.

The two of them settled on the couch, not saying anything, sipping their coffee in companionable silence. After a few minutes, Riddhima seemed to grow impatient and started the inevitable conversation. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Armaan replied, wanting to prolong their back and forth, wanting to take some time to gather the courage to actually say the words he'd flown a thousand miles to say. "Why?"

"I mean… you're… here. You're here. Not that I'm unhappy to see you, because I absolutely am… but it's just… it's very surprising to see you here, as you can imagine. So… Is everything okay?" She asked again.

"Do things need to be bad for me to come see you?" He countered.

"When you fly all the way from New York to Mumbai… yes," she answered honestly. "It's not like we've been in touch all these years… And we just saw each other last week… we both know how that ended, so… do you really blame me for assuming the worst on seeing you here?"

Armaan sighed. "You're right. I'm just… beating around the bush… you know I am… It's just… I've been thinking. A lot. Since you left. About me. About you. About you and me. About… Us?" The last part came out as a question, but Riddhima urged him to keep talking.

"What about us?" She prodded.

"It's just… I'm going to be entirely honest with you here, okay? It might hurt you, but I need to be completely honest. That'll be the best for the future, right?" He asked.

"Of course," She agreed. "Don't worry, Armaan. Whatever it is, I can handle it. Don't hold back because you think you might hurt me. I said my piece, and it's only fair that you get to say yours too."

"I… Just… I never imagined this would happen, you know? Mujhe kabhi nahi laga tha ki ek aisa din aayega jab tum aake mujhse woh sab kahogi jo tumne uss din kaha… It threw me for a loop. Riddhima… you have to understand… the past few years… they've been very difficult for me. I'm sure they've been hard on you too, you've gone through so much, but I have as well.

Pata hai… Jab mujhe pata chala that you're married… My life stopped, Riddhima. It stopped in that moment. I didn't think it would ever move forward from that… but… surprisingly, it did. It took me a long time to get over you, Riddhima… and to get over how you broke my heart. I'm not going to put all the blame on you here. I know that I'm not faultless in everything, that my decisions hurt you, too. But Riddhima… What you did… I was getting ready to marry you. We had all assembled in that hospital cafeteria so that I could marry you. And then, in front of the entire world, you broke my heart so brutally.

I won't lie, because you know, that for a long time I blamed you for ever having the audacity to marry someone else… but now, I don't. I've grown up in the last few years, had time to think… and well… for all intents and purposes we had broken up. If you moved on, you moved on. It was wrong to blame you for that. But you were wrong to hide that from me for so long. And you didn't have any right to reveal the truth to me the way you did. I don't think you can ever understand how humiliating it was. I felt like… You made me and my love for you the butt of every joke, Riddhima. You made me a laughing stock in front of the entire hospital. It felt as if you never respected our relationship," Armaan said.

"No… That was… that wasn't my intention," Riddhima said. "I know I hurt you… but it wasn't my intention to do that, Armaan. I know I should have told you the truth the second you came back, but please don't ever think that I did what I did to humiliate you."

"What else am I supposed to think?" Armaan asked her. "I spent weeks to get you to forgive me. I kept making all those romantic gestures for you in front of everyone who knew you were married to someone else. And you just let me do that. You never breathed a word of what had happened to me. What reason could you have had?"

"I was scared!" Riddhima cried. "I was really scared, Armaan. I didn't want to hurt you. And… I won't lie. I liked it. I knew I shouldn't… I didn't have the right to be happy at your antics when I was someone else's wife… But I still loved you, despite everything. I tried so hard to not love you, but I did. And having you do all that for me… It made me happy. So I became weak. I just… I never wanted to humiliate you. I'm sorry."

"I know you are," Armaan comforted. "I know, okay? But it's… I just wanted you to know that you really hurt me. I didn't bring all this up to hurt you. I just felt… just as you'd opened your heart to me… I should do that too. If you're not comfortable…" he trailed off.

"No," she replied, defiant. "You're right. You should tell me all this. I want to hear you say this."

Armaan smiled at her before continuing. "I just want you to understand that getting over everything was very difficult for me, Riddhima. It took me years to leave the past behind. To reconcile myself to the fact that you weren't a part of my life anymore and you never would be again. I don't even know how many panic attacks I had, how many days I spent lying in bed because I couldn't bring myself to get up… I still have nightmares every night. It's been very hard for me, but I've somehow managed to make a life for myself that I love.

And now… You just barged into my life again. Being with you these past few weeks, spending so much time together, hearing you say all that you have… I think I've developed feelings for you again. But at the same time, I'm not sure I have actual feelings or I'm just feeling nostalgic about what we had. It's very difficult for me to differentiate both right now, but I don't want to loose this chance because I'm confused. I don't want to regret not taking a chance on you, on us, a few years later.

That's why I'm here. Because I think we should try. I can't promise it'll be perfect. I think there will be a lot of times that we'll regret doing this, maybe never want to see each other again… But I want to get to know you again… The person you are today. And I want you to do the same. To get to know me as I am today. To see if we can love these versions of each other and move forward with our lives.

But… I just want you to know that this is me trying. I can't make any promises right now. To tell you the truth, I'm very scared to make a promise to you, or have you make one to me, because well… Vaade toh humne pehle bhi ek doosre se bohot kiye haina? But aaj hum yahaan hai… naa tum apne vaade nibha paayi aur naa main."

"Jaanti hoon. Main samajhti hoon, Armaan. This is not easy for you, or for me, for that matter. I'm still in love with you, but I'm scared too. I don't think I'd be able to make it through if we broke up one more time. I'm not strong enough. But, just because I'm scared of that, doesn't mean I give up.

I understand what you're saying… what you're proposing makes sense to me. We need to get to know one another again, so we can love each other, not the idea of the other we've carried in our head for so long. We've both grown up and while I do believe we're still fundamentally the same people, we've changed a lot too. I want to know you… The way I did back then.

And I understand that it might not end the way we're both hoping, but I want to try. I can't let you go without fighting for you. I did that once and I'm still living with that regret. I don't want more regrets when it comes to you. Ever," Riddhima replied.

Armaan grinned brightly at her words and pulled her into a hug, both of them melting into each other's embrace. It was a long road ahead for them, with no destination, but maybe, that was the beauty of it. It was all about the journey, and this time, they'd both vowed to give it their all. Maybe, it was finally time to love each other the way they should have, right from the start. 

_______________________________

Hello, y'all! I hope you're having some happy holidays!

As always, I'm sorry for the delay LOL. I had the first half of this chapter written for like a month but couldn't think of what to write in the AR conversation which is why this took so long. I'm still not 100% happy with this but I thought it would be better to update than to sit on it for longer. I hope you like it!

Anyway, please drop me a line and tell me how you like this one! As always, thank you for sticking around!

Love, Prags

Phir le aaya dil majboor kya keeje

Raas na aaya rehna door kya keeje

Dil keh raha use maqammal kar bhi aao

Wo jo adhoori si baat baaki hai

Wo jo adhoori si yaad baaki hai

Wo jo adhoori si yaad baaki hai

Karte hain hum aaj qabool kya keeje

Ho gayi thi jo humse bhool kya keeje

Dil keh raha use mayassar kar bhi aao

Wo jo dabi si aas baaki hai

Wo jo dabi si aanch baaki hai

Wo jo dabi si aanch baaki hai

Wo jo dabi si... aanch baaki hai

Kismat ko hai yeh manzoor kya keeje

Milte rahe hum badastoor kya keeje

Dil keh raha hai use musalsal kar bhi aao

Wo jo ruki si raah baaki hai

Wo jo ruki si chaah baaki hai

Wo jo ruki si chaah baaki hai

Wo jo ruki si chaah baaki hai...

- Phir Le Aya Dil, Arijit Singh

Originally posted by: tanvi_mitt

Yay an update !

I am so happy that Armaan is here and so very happy that he told Riddhima how miserable she made him 😭 so she understands him and knows what to improve and what not to do.

Both are scared but let's see how this last chance goes.

Waiting to see how they fall in love again ❤️

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it! Yes, they're scared but they want to try and that's what matters the most! I'm also looking forward to writing them falling in love again! :D

Originally posted by: coderlady

Now they can finally move forward with a clear mind. The feelings have been let out in the open.

Yes! They've thought long and hard and both know that will regret not doing this, so they'll do their best! Being open and honest with each other is very important and something they've both struggled with in the past so I'm glad they're learning from their mistakes.

Originally posted by: Batul22

Intense, good, much-needed conversation.

Can't wait for further parts...

Do write soon

Happy new year❤️

Thank you so much! I'm so happy you liked it! <3

Originally posted by: virka_luv

So so happy for them!! They are finally together now! Yayyy!!! Just loved the whole conversation between Armaan and Riddhima!! 

Thank you so much!! I'm so happy to know you liked it!

Originally posted by: ..Phoenix..

Some positive attitude they both hod but somewhere i felt ridhima should have gone ahead and hugged him. There is for sure this insecurity of getting hurt again as they have the past of love with hurts one after other. but sometimes physical touch is very much needed to break and make your decision.

Yes, I get what you mean. I feel that because they're both trying again, it will be a little difficult for them to initiate touch, but they will grow comfortable soon and then it will be easier!