Hola amigas! Time for an update for the weekend. As always do comment and let me know your thoughts and pheels for this chapter.
I also felt the need to explain that when I envision Aditya, I only see Gashmeer Mahajani. For me, GM brought his A game to Imlie and brought Aditya to life. I just had to mention, because I cannot unfortunately see the current AKT being the Aditya in any of my AUs.
Previously:
"Papa, you are not leaving because of me, are you? Did I do anything wrong?" Neel asked tremulously.
"No! No, my son! Absolutely not!" Aditya's voice was fierce and he cupped his son's little cheeks with his big hands.
"You will absolutely never think that you had ANYTHING to do with what is happening to me or Mumma. Do you understand that, Neel? Never, EVER. You are the best thing that happened to us and I don't ever want you to doubt that." he finished.
He pulled his son back into his arms, holding his small body close to his chest. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he held on for as long as he could.
"I love you, Neel. I just didn't realize how much!" Aditya said between sobs.
"Please don't cry, Papa. It will be okay, I promise."
"We will always be strong for Neel, Imlie. But here in this space between us, you and I are allowed to breakdown, right?" he gently pushed her and tipped her chin. Wiping her tears. "I have you and you have me. There will be lots of challenges. But as always, we will meet them with a calm head on our shoulders, right? When I am weak, you be my strength and when you are weak, I will be yours."
"But no fights, Aryan. We will always make decisions together. Just like we always do. We will always trust each other. Never going to bed angry at each other, right?"
"Always!" Aryan said as he kissed her forehead. They held each other's gaze a few more moments, re-affirming promises that had always existed between them, never needing words before. But today, in this moment, they both needed to hear them, validate them. Promises that anchored them as they weathered this storm in their lives.
Slowly, Aryan stepped back. "I will be back by noon. Check in is at 2 pm at the rehab facility."
He cupped her cheeks and kissed her quickly on the lips. "I will see you soon. Drive carefully, Imlie."
Chapter 15
Aryan was home, exactly at noon to pick up Aditya, Imlie and Neel. Aditya walked out of his room with his packed bags in to the living room. Narmada came forward and he quickly bent down to touch her feet. Narmada applied tika to his forehead. "Good luck, child. I ask for the Lord's mercy so that you may be successful in this battle."
Aditya smiled at the gentle woman in front of him. For a fleeting moment he wondered if she knew about his involvement in Arvind's death.
Narmada smiled back and gently touched his cheek. "Be safe, be happy." she said simply to a damp eyed Aditya.
Aditya's gaze lifted to meet Arpita's who stood right behind her mother. She gave him a small encouraging smile and he nodded slightly, before turning his attention to Neel.
He held out his hand to his son and asked, "Shall we?"
Neel took his father's hand. Together, they walked out to where Aryan and Imlie waited for them by the car. Aditya turned and waved a final goodbye to Narmada and Arpita. Aryan and Imlie took their seats in the front, while Aditya ushered Neel into the back of the car and closed the door behind them.
Traffic in Delhi was pretty bad at any given time of the day but especially so after noon. As Aryan expertly navigated his way through the traffic, Aditya sat back and thought about what lay ahead.
He had some knowledge of what rehab looked like. Imlie had filled him in on the rest. A couple of weeks ago, Aditya would have been furious about Imlie and Aryan making decisions for him. But at this point he was just tired and looking forward to putting his addiction behind him.
He glanced at Neel. He had finally found love again, with his son, Neel. He finally felt inspired to live again. So he was going to give rehab his best shot. He no longer had the energy to hate anyone. Imlie seemed happy with Aryan and he needed to let that go and just be happy for her. He needed space and time to think, readjust, reevaluate his life. Maybe rehab would give him that opportunity.
Neel looked at him curiously and Aditya smiled at the sweet little face, a near replica of his own from when Aditya was around five years old. He pulled him close, craving contact with this little human who loved him so unconditionally.
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"For the first three weeks, Mr. Tripathi, our center does not allow any contact between our residents and the outside world. This is the most intensive portion of the program. You will be immersed in our holistic approach to de-addiction. This will include daily one-on-one counselling sessions and meetings, physical exercise, meditation as well cognitive behavioral therapy." Aditya listened quietly, while the counsellor outlined expectations at the rehab center.
After the first three weeks, he would move to the "Sober House" from where he would be allowed to go out to work, maybe have short visits with his family if time allowed, with an enforced curfew. The time of the curfew varied based on his progression with therapy. Good progress meant that he could stay out later. Relapses would mean a return to the 3 week intensive therapy program.
He had asked Imlie about the cost of this de-addiction program and as usual she had waved him off. When he had insisted, she had said, "Babusaheb, your successful rehab and return home to Neel would be payment enough."
"Look, Imlie. Aryan footing the bill for my rehab just does not sit well with me."
"I respect that, Mr. Tripathi." Aryan had walked in just at that moment and overheard them. "Why don't we consider this a loan instead. You can pay me back with interest, if you wish, after you get back on your feet."
"What about Malini's hospital bill? Are you paying for that stay too?" Aditya looked troubled as he asked.
"No, Aditya. Her parents are taking care of that bill. Look, just try to focus on your recovery, Aditya. All three of us have some tough days coming up. We need you to be strong and sober to help get Neel through it. You clearly have a connection with him and he loves you. Imlie and I will keep him safe until you are able to care for him again. After what I saw this morning, there is no question in my mind, that you will want him back. But first, rehab. He needs stability, Aditya."
Aditya nodded. As much as the old Aditya would have rolled his eyes at another lecture, the new Aditya, understood the gravity of the situation and the real affection between Aryan and Neel. Neel needed a father figure right now, while he was away receiving much needed help. Aryan, he had to admit, was the calm influence that Neel needed. He could not believe he was thinking this, but he was glad Neel was going to be in their care. He was going to safe.
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"Mr. Tripathi? Mr. Tripathi?" the counsellor's voice brought him back to the present.
"Yes. Yes. I understand." Aditya came out of his reverie, hoping he had not missed much.
"Let me show you to your room, Mr. Tripathi."
It was hard to believe that such a modern, spacious rehab center was located in Delhi. Aditya followed as the counsellor gave him a tour of the large, luxurious mansion and its grounds. The mansion housed 10 rooms, a swimming pool, meditation rooms, office space, a conference room for meetings, a large well equipped gourmet kitchen and dining area and a library. The grounds were huge, dotted with gazebos, fountains, labyrinths and quiet spaces for reflection.
Aditya sighed. It was true that he was here to heal old wounds. Wounds that he had allowed to fester for years. But, he was going to be paying off this loan for a long time to come. The monetary consequences of his actions, he supposed.
"Well." the counsellor turned to Aditya as they returned to the lobby of the room. "Lets get you settled in your room and I will meet you here at 7 pm for your first group session. Dinner is served directly after."
Aditya smiled politely as the counsellor took him to his designated room, his home for the next three weeks.
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Arpita looked behind the couch in the library, then behind the curtains but to no avail.
"Neel! Neel!" she called out anxiously.
Where was Neel? Aryan and Imlie had to attend a dinner meeting, leaving Arpita and Maa in charge of Neel. They had been looking all over for him for the past 30 minutes. Today had been a difficult day for the little one. Arpita felt a rising panic. It's going to be okay, she coached herself, closing her eyes to tamp down the anxiety.
Sniffle. Arpita's eyes snapped open. Had she just imagined that?!
Sniffle, sob.
No she had not imagined that. It was Neel.
"Neel." she called out softly. "Where are you, sweetie? Come out, baby boy!"
Nothing. Arpita tried to localize the sound with her ears and walked towards Aryan's mahogany desk. As she bent down, she saw two large, watery eyes peering at her.
"Neel." she whispered tenderly. Neel was sitting under Aryan's desk, his knees drawn up, arms crossed and resting on his bent knees. He quickly hid his face in the nook of his arms.
Arpita looked around the space under the desk. This was going to be tight fit. She had to try to get him out at least. She got down on her knees and ducked her head as she crammed her upper body under the desk to get closer to Neel.
Gently, putting her arms around him, she scooped him out from his hiding place and sat with him on her lap. She felt his tiny arms envelop her as he buried his head into her bosom. Sobs racked his tiny body, "Will I never see them again, Maasi?" he hiccupped and looked at her.
His question was heart rending. Arpita smiled a sad smile through her own tears as she picked up a corner of her dupatta and wiped the tears on his cheeks. How does one answer a question like that? Honestly, a voice whispered.
"I know your Mumma is sick, but you will see her again tomorrow, right? And your Papa, he is ill too. We all have times in our lives when we need help, Neel. He just needs some extra care that we cannot provide at home. It doesn't mean you will never see him again. It just means we have to be patient, so he can finish his treatment quickly and come back to us, okay?"
Neel nodded. "It still makes me want to cry, Maasi!"
"And that is okay, baby boy. I feel sad too, so many times. It is okay to be sad some times and it is definitely okay to cry."
"Really? But all the kids in school say, boys never cry. They have to be strong."
"Do you want to know a secret? I know a really, really strong man. And he cries too when he is really, really sad. Guess what, it doesn't make him any less strong though. In fact, I think it makes him so much more loveable."
Neel frowned, looking unconvinced.
"Your Aryan Chaachu! Do you think he is weak?"
Neel shook his head. "No way! Aryan Chaachu can cry too?"
"Of course, he can. I am his big sister, na? I know all his secrets."
Neel grinned back at her. "So it is okay to cry, huh?."
"Only when you are sad. It is not okay to cry to make people do what you want, though. That is not fair. But, do you know what helps me when I am sad?"
Neel shook his head.
"I look around me and start counting my blessings."
"Counting your blessings? What does blessings mean?"
"Ummm, its all the good things that God has given us. Do you want to give it a try?"
As Neel scrunched up his face in concentration, Arpita decided to help him out.
"How about I go first? I am thankful for.....my family. My Maa, Aryan and Imlie. Because they love me so very much."
"I am thankful for.....being here?"
"That's a good start. I am thankful for roses. They bring so much beauty and fragrance to my life."
"I am thankful for..." Neel looked down at his clothes. "The IRON MAN t-shirt Aryan Chachu bought me. And I am thankful for pineapple upside down cakes and popsicles, oh and Kulfi! Arpita Maasi, can I have Kulfi tonight?"
Arpita threw back her head and laughed. Kids! How quickly their moods change, she thought as she grinned back at him and asked. "Kulfi? Now?"
Neel nodded enthusiastically.
"Alright, let me see what I can do. Now, its time for dinner though and then, we get to dessert okay?"
"Yesssss! Desserts are good, I am so thankful for desserts!" he looped his arms around her neck and hugged Arpita as she struggled to get off her bottom and stand up with him still in her arms.
"You are heavy!!" she panted as she finally stood up.
"So are you!"
"What did you say? You imp! I might have to re-think about that Kulfi!"
"I was just joking, Maasi. I was just pranking, for real. Can I still have Kulfi? Pleeeaase?"
"Hmmm, but dinner first, and you have to try to finish everything on the plate. I am reasonable, and will not serve more than you can handle. Okay?"
"Kulfiiiiiii! Here we come!" Neel squealed as she carried him to the dining room.
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It seemed to be an endless string of long days. Today was another one of them, Imlie thought as she prepared to retire for the night. On their way back from the rehab center, Aryan had dropped Imlie and Neel at the hospital to see Malini, while he went back to work for a couple of hours.
They had a dinner meeting that night and he wanted to make sure they were prepared. He had come back an hour later to pick them up and spent some time distracting Neel while Imlie and Malini talked.
The dinner meeting was long and Imlie found herself nearly nodding off a couple of times, met by an arched eyebrow from her her husband each time, who of course, noticed. As always.
Neel was sleeping with Maa again tonight, because they were late getting home. She was going to miss not having his little body next to hers, she thought wistfully as she slipped under the covers, snuggling up to Aryan, who slipped an arm under her head and pulled her to his side. She began thinking about her day as she closed her eyes and settled in.
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Imlie had told Malini didi about Babusaheb going to rehab. Malini didi had slumped her shoulders in relief. "Of course. I am not shocked he listened to you."
Imlie decided not to read too much into that comment and instead replied, "I didn't really give him a choice, didi. It was either rehab or lose Neel."
"Ah! The Brahmastra, huh?'
Imlie shrugged. "It worked."
Malini smiled and squeezed Imlie's hand. "I am glad it did. He needs help. And so do I."
Imlie looked at her in surprise.
Malini looked back at her and said, "I need to talk to someone, Imlie."
"I'm here. You can talk to me about anything." Imlie smiled reassuringly as she answered.
"No, I mean. I need to talk to someone ....spiritual. I have a lot of questions and no amount of thinking seems to answer them."
"Like what, didi?"
Malini looked away. How was one supposed to talk about this? In the faith tradition she had grown up in, there was so much talk about morality, righteousness, sins and transgressions, birth, death, karmas, reincarnation, heaven and hell. She felt truly anxious now at this point, unable to put all of these traditions and teachings in perspective. But who do you talk to? The temple priest? She was not sure they had the right answers either.
"Never mind, Imlie." she looked over to where Aryan and Neel were playing rock, paper and scissors on the couch by the window.
"He looks happy." Malini stated with a small smile. "They seem to have hit it off."
Imlie looked at them and smiled back, "They sure have."
"How are Arpita and Narmadaji doing, Imlie? I mean, with Neel being in the house...."
"They love him. Who wouldn't, Malini didi? Look at him. His cute face, sweet voice, endearing mannerisms, the dimple in his cheeks, so like yours. It is very, very easy to love him, didi."
"When are we going to talk to him?"
Imlie pretended not to know what she was talking. "What about?"
"Imlie?" Malini admonished her softly. "You know exactly what about. When are we going to tell him about me? We can't just spring it on him, one fine day, right?"
Imlie sighed and closed her eyes. Opening them back up, she met her sister's eyes.
"We just talked to him this morning about why his father was leaving. Can't we put this conversation off for a few more days?"
Malini smiled sadly as she glanced at her son. Nodding slowly, she said, "Just a few more days. Then, we need to tell him, so he can start processing it. I was reading about it a while ago, when I first found out about the cancer relapsing. There isn't much written in our cultural context, but lots of western literature is available."
Imlie nodded, "His principal sent me a few articles and book recommendations. I will take a look at them. It makes me so nervous, didi. Watching his sadness today when Babusaheb left was hard enough." Imlie's eyes teared up at the memory.
"Mumma?" Neel had run up to her bedside.
"Yes, baby?"
"I'm bored. Can I go with Aryan Chaachu and get something to eat?"
"You are always hungry!" Imlie teased Neel.
"Must be a growth spurt. That's how I know. He eats like a horse!" Malini smiled fondly at Neel.
“I am NOT a horse!” Neel looked at his mother, bug eyed.
Malini laughed at his comic expression,” Fine! Not a horse, a pony, then. Come here, give me a hug. I might be sleeping when you come back."
Neel climbed carefully beside her, and put his arms around her neck. "Mmmmmmmm" Malini kissed his cheek, "I love you so very much, my baby." then she said in a whisper, "I hope you will always remember that."
Neel kissed her on her cheek in return then pulled back and smiled at his mother, "And I love you, Mumma. Can I go now?" he asked as he climbed off the bed.
Malini smiled and waved with her good hand. She looked up at Aryan, "Thank you." she said simply.
Aryan gave her his characteristic nod and offered a small rueful smile. "He has really been a good addition to our household these past few days. Everyone is in love with him."
Malini smiled proudly at her son. "Be good, Neel and don't trouble your Aryan Chaachu . Remember to make healthy choices, okay?"
Neel rolled his eyes at his mother's reminder, "Okay, okay, fine! I will try."
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Imlie sighed as she recalled her conversation with her sister, shifting restlessly in Aryan's arms.
"What is it? I thought you couldn’t keep your eyes open at the meeting." Aryan asked sleepily.
"Okay, that meeting was positively boring. It could have put a raging insomniac to sleep!" she scoffed.
"Hmmm, so what is keeping you up now?" he tightened his arms and pulled her closer.
"She wants us to talk to Neel about her."
"Huh? Who wants to talk to Neel about who?"
"Are you being dense on purpose?"
"No, I ....Imlie, I’m exhausted. You’ve got to help me out here. Specifics please."
"Malini didi! She wants us to talk to Neel about her ....her....impending death?"
"Define us, please." Aryan asked patiently.
"I don't know. She kept saying "we" needed to talk to Neel. I assumed that was her and me. But....."
He gently massaged Imlie's scalp with his fingertips, trying to relax her. "Sleep, love. We’ll read the articles Neel's principal sent us when we wake up tomorrow. Get some rest, because if we burn out, who is going to care for Neel." he whispered to her.
As he felt her breathing even out and her body relax, Aryan pondered the last 7 days.
Aryan sighed. God, he did not look forward to this at all. How do you explain to a five year old that his mother was dying? That one day, she would cease to exist in the world. That she would exist only in his memories.
In the last few days, he had essentially been navigating foreign territory. Neel's entry into their lives had set off a cascade of events, forced him to confront and let go of his bitter feelings towards Neel's parents. It had made him rethink his apprehensions about parenthood.
He had had to pray for grace every single moment this past week. and so tonight, he prayed again. Help us find the right words, Lord, so we can try to explain to this little fledgling that his mother was going to fly the nest, never to return again, not in this lifetime.
With that heartfelt prayer, Aryan closed his eyes, wiping the tears that slid out the corners. Imlie stirred and he linked his hand in hers, pulling it close to his heart. Sleep was going to be elusive tonight, despite his exhaustion.
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Coming up: Imlie is out on an assignment. Aryan and Neel spend some quality time together.
Edited by mltr16 - 3 years ago
