Originally posted by: NoeticLife
There is no one moment anyone can pinpoint where Karan had fallen for Monami, but the feelings hadn't appeared out of the blue either. It might be justified by tags of guilt, duty and friendship, but these little moments are all Karan had that could have warned him of his feelings for his Rani Sahiba.
The organ trafficking mission was a turning point for everyone. With Sid's aim in his life, to Koel's stand for Karan, the mission was the one which brought the six on a shaky but equal ground, and while the misunderstandings weren't cleared, they were ignored for once.
The willingness to jump in to save strangers had lit a lamp of respect in Karan's heart for Monami. He might not be convinced that she isn't a spoiled, rich kid, but he sure as hell could recognize and appreciate bravery.
'Bina apne baare mein soche kisi aur ki madat karna, it's quite commendable.'
'Mere hisaab se pata hai tum kaun ho? Selfless, brave and kind. That's what you are, Monami.'
Her sadness bothered him, and her happiness pleased him. Whether it be wearing a stupid sling, or feeling bad for some biting words, he was definitely affected by his presence. She wasn't just a nuisance anymore. An annoying pest. She was an enigma that he couldn't understand.
Shooting her was a mistake. One of the biggest mistakes that Karan Shergill could have made. But what flourished out of it was understanding. Perspective. Monami Mahajan wasn't just a spoiled, rich kid. The daughter of a martyr, who had struggled to stand up from under the weight of an egoistic, selfish father. More than that, Karan Shergill got a taste of the kindness and brightness Monami Mahajan is.
She was a salve on the wound of pure guilt that had consumed his being from the moment he had realized what he had done. The bandage to his turmoil, the medicine to his self-hatred.
'Monami, jo kuch bhi hua hai... main kitni bhi maafi maang loon, wo kaafi nahi hai.'
'Jab tumhaari koi galti hai hi nahi, toh maafi kis baat ki?'
The pain of a losing a companion, just touching the feeling of being understood before it was yanked away, feeling the taste of undeserved forgiveness before everything crumbled.
He wasn't going to let away the one person who had forgiven him effortlessly, who hadn't even considered his crime a mistake, so easily. His own career damned, his own life damned, he was going to bring Monami Mahajan back to the academy. He was going to bring Monami Mahajan back in his life.
'Monami Mahajan, tumhe toh main academy mein waapas laakar rahoonga.'
'Lekin Monami abhi isi waqt mere saath academy waapas jaa rahi hai.'
And so, he started fresh, with no prejudice and tons of mutual respect and care. She was his best cadet.
From reminding her to take her medicines to apologizing and explaining his actions, Karan Shergill had come a long way and there were many miles to go.
She was the light to the darkness his life was shrouded in. She pulled him out of a closed room drowning in darkness to an open world of brightness.
'Khushiyan baantne se badhti hain, aur gum baantne se kam hota hai. Karan, please open up. Please.'
A breathy please, full of understanding and patient prompting, and Karan couldn't deny her plead. The smile on her face when she saw him come, the pure happiness was all worth it.
She was emotional, Karan had always known that. And he was first and foremost her trainer. So, when she was hurting herself in empathetic pain for a fellow cadet, he was right there to pull her away, and set her straight.
But he couldn't bear to leave her alone, hurting, watching her quietly as she drained her anger. He was concerned when she had cut herself, glaring at her lightly for being careless, and then patiently listening to her talk.
From brushing off her concerns about an organ trading racket to listening to her rant, Karan Shergill had come a long way and there were many miles to go.
Her words affected him, her silence pinching him, her anger unsettling him. She wanted to be... friends. Couldn't she see they were something else? But he couldn't bear her anger, and he gave in, offering her his hand in friendship, asking for trust in return. But she had his respect, care and undying loyalty, and he had her heart.
She was running high on emotions till they had gotten Koel out, but Karan dealt with her patiently at every step, comforting her, guiding her. Keeping her calm, taking care of her came as naturally to him as breathing, not even thinking twice about it, not even needing to pause.
Having someone else close to her bothered him, and having her close to him flustered him. A dance made him awkward, but an awkward hug made him blush.
Monami's confession came out of the blue for him, blind to the feelings he had, and he struggled to accept her love. How could she love him? Why did she? Why him out of everyone? Couldn't she see that she deserved someone better, someone who wouldn't dull the light inside her? And no, he didn't love her. He couldn't, right? He wasn't made for love. Love had no place in his life, only hatred.
She was hurting, and he couldn't bear to see it. Her pain seemed to be stabbing him. Why did it hurt him too? Why could he only think about her? Why couldn't he just apologize and move away? Why wasn't she listening? Why wasn't she understanding? She needed to understand. She deserved someone better. He couldn't love her. He had no place for love. She had to know why.
From exploding on Monami for even mentioning his martyred brother to explaining his past willingly, Karan Shergill had come a long way and there were many miles to go.
She understood. Of course, she did. She always had. She freed him of her love. But Karan changed. He was suddenly so much aware of everything she did, affected by even the slightest and pettiest things. He imagined her. Even in mere imagination, his heart sped up at her touch. He closed his eyes, and she was there. But in real life, she moved past him like he was a stranger. In real life, the Karan Shergill who had never fumbled, who was just as lethal with his words as his fists were, couldn't ask her if she was going somewhere.
What was wrong with him? Why did she affect him so much? Why did her presence or absence bother him? Why did he miss her so much? Why was she everywhere?
The chandelier answered him.
He was in love.
Karan Shergill was undeniably, irrevocably in love with Monami Mahajan.
(Pata nahi kaisi hai. Start kuch aur soch kar kara tha, beech mein kuch aur ho gaya, aur end mein kuch aur. Genuinely, samajh nahi aa raha hai kaisa hai. Tum log apna opinion do. Aur yeh bhi bata do, Wabi-Sabi waale thread mein post karoon ya nahi.
Ek ek incident segerate nahi kiya, because lamba ho jayega, aur shayad boring bhi. Toh aise likh diya.)
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
