A cat on the road
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Raavi wandered the road after that fiasco in the hospital.. Everything that happened was just playing in her mind and she just couldn't understand anything. What was happening? Was this all a conspiracy?? Conspiracy of this level? Why? Would her Anita di stoop to this level for gaumbi?? Why would Rishita's bua would gain anything from this? Her pure innocent mind refused to give her any answers. Sometimes one's innocence can be their biggest enemy as they perceive everyone in the world with rose tinted glasses.
Her thoughts shifted to Shiva. How easy it was for him to think she can be this evil? Doesn't he know her at all? Just yesterday he was claiming that she's a nice girl.. Did he ever fully trust her? She just walked and walked and kept on walking.
She saw a large tree & there was some movement behind it. She didn't know why but it felt like there was something for her, she kept waking towards that direction.
Raavi walked closer to the tree and noticed a cat was under it. it was beautifull golden brown fur with such captivating eyes. It looked like it was someone's pet. When she tried to pet it, the cat backed off and ran from her to hide away from her reach.
"To tumhe bhi lagta hai me buri hu? Tumhe bhi? Ek paltu billi tak mujh pe vishwas nhi karna chahti? Tumhe to jo bhi pyar se sehlaye tum use pyar karti ho na? Phir mujhse kyu nhi? Par kis se shikayat karu? Shayad meri kismat me yahi hai ..." Raavi mumbled to herself.
Raavi sat down and kept talking to the cat.
"Lekin tum yaha kar kya rahi ho? Kho gayi ho kya? Don't worry koi na koi aa jayega tumhe dhoondhte hue..tumhari kismat meri tarah nhi hai... Aur honi bhi nhi chahiye.. "
"Kaisi pagal hu me? Ek paaltu billi se baate kar rahi hu.. Khair mujh jaisi dobi se aur ummeed bhi kya hai" Raavi shook her head but started talking again anyway. She just needed to talk, even if it was to a cat.
"Tum shayad samjh sako.. Tum insaan nhi ho na.. Unconditional pyaar karna tumhe ata hai.. Tumhe pyaar se koi haath pher deta hai,tum uske paas chali jaati ho.. Mere saath bhi aisa hi h.. Bachpan se bas ek hi khwaahish h meri, ki main jitna logo se pyaar karti hu.. Wo bas uska 1% mujhe bhi kar le.. Jis tarah se me unhein apnaati hu, usi tarah se wo bhi mujhe apnaaye.. Kya kuch zyada maang rahi hu kya.. "
Raavi sat there talking and did not notice that the cat actually was listening and crept a little closer to her.
"Tumhe pata hai.. Sab mujhe dobi bulaate h... Me dobi hu.. Logo ke intentions nhi samjh paati.. Nhi samjh paati ki meri aukat unki life me ek seedhi se zyada kuch nhi.. Sab mujh par pair rakh kar bas upar badhna chahte hai.. Koi value nhi hai meri.. Kisi ke liye me dobi hu jiska asani se istemaal kiya ja sakta hai, kisi k liye ek anaath jise thodi daya dikha do to wo apna sabkuch aap ke liye de sakti hai, to kisi k liye bas ek dushman kyunki mere parivaar ne kuch galat kiya tha... Me kya hu, kya sochti hu, kya mehsoos karti hu, jo kuch bhi karti hu, aaj tak jo kiya hai, us se kisi ko koi matlab nhi hai.. Mera koi astitva nhi hai "
By now the cat was sitting next to her on the ground, tail neatly folded around her paws. Her head titled slightly to the side, the cats eyes watching her every move as if it could feel her emotion and was searching for some sign of falsehood.
"Mujhe bahut bura lagta hai kitty! Par me kis se bolu? Mera to koi hai hi nhi.. Koi nhi hai jo mujh par vishwas kare, koi nhi hai jo mujhe bina shart ke pyaar kare? Kyu? Kyu me ye sab deserve nhi karti? Phle mene apne ma papa ko kho diya.. Uske baad kabhi koi aisa nhi mila mujh jo mujh se sach me pyar kare.. Log mujhe panauti bulaate hai.. Iska matlab pata hai tumhe? Ashubh.. Bad omen.. Me sach me hu kya? "
The cat meowed and Raavi looked at the cat, "Kya hua kitty?" The cat jumped on her lap and looked at her, like she tried to tell her something...like she shouldn't give up on hope...
"It's funny. Aisa lag raha hai,jaise tum samjh rahi ho me kya bol rahi hu..." At this the cat meowed again.
Raavi reached out her hand and started gently stroking the cat while she kept talking to her.
"Kabhi kabhi man karta hai, sab kuch khatam kar du. Kahi chali jau.. Waise bhi mere hone ya na hone se kisi ko koi fark nhi padne wala. Aajtak logo se validation lene ke liye jeeti rahi, unki soch taqleef, sabko khud se upar rakha.. Par kya mila mujhe? Ab man karta hai khud k liye jeeyu, khud ko apni priority banau.. "
Cat snuggled closer to her, as if giving all her affirmations in her decision. Raavi looked down at the small cat in her lap and smiled. Maybe, just maybe, it was the best decision she made.
Bigg Boss 19
