Today's episode influenced me a good deal and I couldn’t help but write this. This may come off bit boring since it’s more of a monologue but this is my take on how Anu should behave on Anuj’s confession. Oh, and do treat it as a continuation of previous part. Maine boring toh keh dia hai, but do read it. Kaafi dimaag kharch hua ye likhne main.😆
Act 6
She had followed after him worried about his state, and was preparing to storm into the house, ready to push Vanraj’s hands away from his collar when Anuj exploded and spilled forth words that she had tried hard to brush off. Her doubts were cemented as she witnessed Anuj’s outburst.
“HAAN!!MAIN ANUPAMA SE PYAAR KARTA HOON. 26 SAAL PEHLE BHI KARTA THA AUR KARTA RAHOONGA!”
Anuj proclaimed, jerking off Vanraj’s hands. He breathed in raggedly, his pulse racing as his voice echoed the halls of Shah house. He had held it in for too long. Usne pyaar kiya tha, gunah nahi. Dillagi ki thi, dhokha nhi.
“Unlike you, Mr. Shah, I don’t have a wife back home who I am cheating on by harboring feelings for another. Mere dil main hamesha se Anu thi aur aage bhi rahegi. Aur jisse aap pyaar kehte hain, vo Anu ke sath fareb tha. Arre, aap aur Mrs shah barabar ke perpetrators thhe jab Anu ke vishwas ka fayda utha rahe thhe. Aur main bas apni feelings chupa raha hu, kyuki Anu unke lie taiyaar nahi hai. Haan, pyaar hai, aur beintehaan hai. Uske pyaar main shareef hu…” Anuj trailed menacingly, taking a step forward as he poked his finger into Vanraj’s chest, and added, “aur zaroorat padi toh uske pyaar ke liye, sharafat chod bhi sakta hu!”
When a man like himself forgoes his composure, reactions were bound to surface. And here he had literally set off a bomb. Everyone was shell shocked. Toshu, Vanraj and Kavya had seen it coming but Baa had never truly believed that despite saying so. But now the truth was set in stone.
It took Anuj the shocked faces of baa and kinjal, to realize what he had just confessed to.
Eyes widening in disbelief, he clamped his palm over his mouth. What had he done?
"Mummy!"Samar who had been a quiet spectator in the hallway, called out suddenly and Anuj pressed his eyes shut.
No! Jaw clenching he opened his eyes to look in samar's direction and pivoted on his heels to face the window where Anupama was staring at him- her face a mixture of shock, horror and disbelief.
Anuj opened his mouth to speak but Anupama whipped her head away from him and dashed off.
"ANU!!"Anuj called after her, following suit.
'This was not supposed to happen. Oh god!'
Stepping out of the shah house, Anuj looked around frantically but to no avail.
"Anuuu!"He shouted once again, the noise of crackers drowning out his desperation.
He received no response.
"Shitt!"Slamming his fist against the nearby tree, he cursed aloud.
"Mujhe Anu ko sab explain karna hoga".
~*~*~*~*~*~
Anupama slammed the door behind her and leaned against it, her chest heaving violently,for she had run all the way here without making a stop.
All she could hear right now was Anuj's confession. “HAAN!! MAIN ANUPAMA SEPYAAR KARTA HOON. 26 SAAL PEHLE BHI KARTA THA AUR KARTA RAHOONGA!”
A million thoughts were running amok in her head, their threads entangled in such a mess, that she was starting to feel suffocated.
"Anupama!"
It was the slamming of desperate fists against her doors that forced her to move away from the door.
"Please,listen to me once" Anuj pleaded, but Anupama remained mum.
She had her suspicions but it didn't make the truth any easier to bear. And if she were to face him now, she would end up hurling only accusations and hurt. And she didn't want to do that. She didn't want to regret her reaction, like hewas.
"Aap chale jaiye, Anuj", She replied walking to the door
Anuj pressed himself to the door, glad to be able to hear her. "I- bas ek baar...hear me once...main tumhe..mera pya--
Anupama closed her ears then, all the ghastly accusations echoing in her ears.
"Leave,Anuj. Just go!" She shouted back, and walked away to her room, closing the door behind her so that she could no longer hear him.
"Anu!Anu!" Anuj hit the door even more desperately but stopped short as a man walked across the hallway passing him a weird look.
'Hah!' He was just worsening the situation by behaving like a madman.
Anuj fisted his fingers hard, his nails digging into his flesh as he slid against the door and curled up into a ball, holding his knees together.
History truly was repeating itself.
~*~*~*~*
Anupama switched off her phone and threw it across the bed. Samar and kinjal were calling incessantly and she just wanted to be left alone.
She could not place her emotions. And her head was hurting so much that she wanted to sleep it off. She was not in the mindset of brainstorming right now. And with that she lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, hoping for the fatigue to catch up to her.
'Hopefully Anuj has left' was the last thought before sleep overtook her consciousness.
Anuj had dozed off too, but right outside her door. And it was only in the wee hours of morning that he had left, waking up to the curious neighbors staring at him.
***************
Sitting with piping hot tea in her hands, in the balcony, Anu gazed ahead, ready to sort her thoughts.
“HAAN!! MAIN ANUPAMA SE PYAAR KARTA HOON. 26 SAAL PEHLE BHI KARTA THA AUR KARTA RAHOONGA!”
Was it humanly possible?! To love someone for 26 years, while they remained blissfully ignorant of their existence!
But then everything about him was beyond normal. She recalled their meeting at the reunion and smiled faintly in reminiscence, before the smile receded.
Over and over, she had justified their relationship in front of everyone. Hum sirf dost hain. Sirf dost.
That had never been the case for him. Jisko wo dosti samajhti aai, wo unka pyaar tha.
Was this position, this success a gift of his affections too, as vanraj had accused on many occasions?
How come a homemaker like her was better than those who had toiled years in the corporate world?
She shook her head then then. No.This seed of self-doubt was an insult to the efforts of those who wanted her to advance, and to those woman she wanted to empower.
She may be lacking but she was less than no one. Never had she detected even anounce of lie when Anuj had offered her this partnership. The softness of his eyes may have been love but this opportunity was not. A man driven solely by emotions would have never made it so far.
Neither was Devika the type to spout falsehoods. If Devika believed that she deserved it, then she did. Period.
The slope of her rise was a steep one, owing to Anuj of course, but somewhere it was due to her too. She did give the idea for the home food for restaurant, the cooking competition was her brainchild too.
Vanraj and his standards were not the kind of reference she needed to compare too. His superiority complex was something else entirely, and the man was morally incorrect half the time and jealous the other half. He never appreciated her when she was his and now he could not stand another appreciating her too. Anuj…the man had given to her with both hands, be it opportunity, credit, respect, happiness or companionship. Never once did he emotionally twist her into doing him favors as Vanraj and baa always did.
"Anuj ne mujhe kabhi dhokha nahi diya"
"Par sach bhi toh nahin bataya", Anupama counter argued placing the empty cup on the table and raised herself from the cushion, walking over to the balcony railing.
His confession had proved her a liar in front of baa and everyone. At length she had debated that they were just friends, and he had gone ahead and proclaimed otherwise.
Par pyaar karna galat nahi hai. She believed that love was never wrong. Wasn't that why she supported Toshu and kinjal, samar and nandini......Mr. Shah and kavya?
She never got tired boasting about kanha ji and love, then how come Anuj's love was wrong? She had told baa once that if she were to ever fall for someone, she won't be ashamed of it. Then why was his confession pricking her? She had told Anuj too, that her aversion for love was due to her trauma, and not because of society and old school thoughts. And here she was feeling betrayed because he had been in love with her all along. Wasn't this hypocrisy? She was good at preaching but was a big zero when it came to practicing the same!
She was contradicting her every word. Anupama pinched the bridge of her nose,frustrated. "Anuj ka pata nahi, but i do feel wrong as hell!"
Anupama picked up the tray then and proceeded inside the house. It was diwali today but her mood was not festive at all. And wouldn't it be more off, if everyone were to behave as if nothing had happened. She was sure that right at this moment baa, kavya and Mr. shah were holding a meeting, maligning her’s and Anuj’s character.
Her eyes shifted to her phone on the kitchen counter and she checked the call log again. There were missed calls from samar, kinjal, baapuji even but none from him.
"Tune unhe darwaze se hi bhaga diya and now you want that he calls you?! Why should he? And isn't that better if he does not? What would I even tell him?!"
"Kaash unhone ye baat...sabke saamne aise nhi ki hoti....agar mujhse share kia hota toh...."
Anupama paused then. Toh kya?! I would have still felt betrayed. Perhaps my reaction would have been much worse!
Anupama recalled his confession once more, and then the helpless look that had dawnedin his eyes when their eyes had met across the window.
He had not intended for this matter to come out. It had happened spontaneously. The situation had forced his hand. Kinjal had sent her a voice note explaining all, that she had not witnessed.
Anuj had been disturbed post Toshu's accusations. The man was willing to go far away to keep her false sense of peace. His love was selfless. What had she ever done for him, to deserve this?
Anupama shook her head then. She should have listened to Anuj. She should have dared to open the damn door!
To love her was his choice. And he had done it within boundaries. She had no right to reproach him for feeling the way he did. To reject or reciprocate was her choice but his love was not wrong. His friendship was not wrong. He was not wrong!
Her incessant thirst for baa’s acknowledgement had made her such a hypocrite that she was judging Anuj in a balance that she didn’t believe in. He had just been honest He had not hurt anyone and if his honesty had hurt unintentionally, then it wasn’t his fault to bear.
She had felt terrible when she was being denied house solely for being a divorcee woman. She had done wrong to no one and yet society expected that she be answerable to it! Then wasn’t it just as criminal of her to make Anuj beg for a chance, just to put forth his side of story! Love was a beautiful feeling and she had made him feel miserable about loving her.
“Main tumse door chala jaunga”.
“Mujhe wapas aana hi nhi chahie tha”
Anupama scrubbed her face hard. “Vo already itne pressure main thhe. Hey kanha, kahin kal raat ke baad kuch ulta seedha na karle!”
Picking up her bag and the keys, she rushed out of the house. She needed to tell him that it was alright. That they could sort this out. That she was not mad. That loving her wasn’t a crime that he had to punish and curse himself for.
“I am coming Anuj. I am coming”.
Jesa bhi lage, kindly do share your views😆. Oh, and picture abhi baki hai mere dost😉
Bigg Boss 19
6