Bapu ji's refusal to take any responsibility

Bapu ji's refusal to realise that he too is responsible for Anu's lack of education is a dead horse. Discussed enough.

But this man lectures the family a lot for someone who refuses to take any responsibility for his actions whatsoever.

• Blaming society for Vanraj's toxic masculinity. Well.. It's a father's job to teach his son a positive version of masculinity. His job to protect his kids from society teaching them evils. But alas! Let's blame the mother or society if the kid turns out bad. Typical.
• Calling Anu his daughter but doing the bare minimum. All the support he provides Anu is normal for a FIL in normal families. But does that make him a father? What kind of father emotionally manipulates his daughter into living with her abusive ex & gf-turned-wife? What kind of father never asks his sick daughter if she has taken her meds on time, or never offers her a glass of water?
• Sexualising Kavya. For all his chatter about treating DILs like daughters, gender equality, etc.. He was the quickest to sexualise Kavya's nighty. I still don't get what was so vulgar about it that he had to walk away. It was a very loose gown with a robe, down to her shin. He thought Kavya's ankles were vulgar? Again, typical. 70 years back my grandma also faced the same issue with her FIL. But now it's 2021. Pakhi walks around in shorts all day as a 17-18yo. Vanraj often roams the house in a ganji. So what's different? Status. Kavya's status as a female & a DIL.. Exposing Bapuji ka convenient feminism. Typical FIL signalling his wife to control the DIL's attire lengths.

Bapuji might be a good husband & grandpa, but he's a bad bad father. I hope his next lecture is about attaining some self awareness.

If only I could like a post a thousand times over! You have literally spoken my mind.

1) Your first point is exactly what went through my mind when Bapu Ji made that stupid, ignorant argument that the society we live in is to be blamed for Vanraj's toxic mindset. With that logic all of us here should have had a mindset like Vanraj. 😆 But we think and behave differently don't we? Even though we live in the same society Bapu Ji blames all the time? To challenge and protect your child against society and its regressive beliefs is the parents' responsibility. Vanraj is an awful person because his upbringing was awful. He was raised by a witch and a father who watched his wife mould their son into a chauvinistic, narcissist brat in silence. He is as much to blame as Baa for Vanraj's failure to be a good man, husband and father. Baa passed down her shit to Vanraj and he passed it down to Toshu and Paakhi. Though I don't always like Samar, but he is the only one who truly empthasises with Anupamaa. The other two only support her when it is convenient for them. It is so easy to manipulate those two idiots it's truly hilarious.

2) Uggh I hate that Bapu Ji is portrayed as some extraordinarily wonderful father-in-law. He is as basic as basic gets. In fact all this support he gives Anupamaa currently, he owes her for the years of abuse she's faced due to his silence. I didn't watch this show from the begininng. And thank God for that. I don't think I would have been able to digest all that abuse she faced in that house. I came across the scene where Vanraj throws her out of the house because she went out with friends and came home late. All that tamasha because her grown ass family could not take food out of the fridge and serve themselves with their own hands. Are you f*****g kidding me?! His adult parents and children cannot serve themselves?! Bapu Ji did not utter a word until he closed the doors on her face. He just stood there helpless. But he took a firm stand and made everyone swear that they will not attend Paakhi's useless dance performance or he won't speak with them for as long as he lives. We see where your priorities lie Bapu Ji. 🤣And don't even get me started on emotionally manipulating Anupamaa into staying with the very people who abused her for years. If that man truly cared for her, he would have given her a share of the house and let her go with dignity. But no. Free ki maid chahiye na? Apne comfort ko takleef nahi honi chahiye na. Everyone has seemed to forgotten that Anupamaa had cancer and she takes medication to keep it at bay. No one asks about her health, no one asks if she's taken her medication on time, ek paani ka glass tak kabhi kisi ne poocha nahi usse. Not even her useless children. Besharmon ki tarah usse apna saara kaam karwaate hain even though they are all adults. She still runs around the house doing every damn chore and everybody just lets her. Yuck. Baa ne toh Kavya ke liye coffee tak banayee hai khud se. Paani bhi parosa hai tray pe. Baa can go jump in a well. She is an awful human being. I will never understand why Anupamaa respects her so much. She ain't worthy of shit. 😵

3) I cringed at that scene. Bapu Ji pretends to be so progressive and yet here we are. The same old 'a woman's character is defined by the length of her dress'. Ridiculous. And Anupamaa had to jump in and give her a lecture.

Well i will not say bapuji is complete perfect but still he is Better than toshu vanraj baa pakhi jo anupama ko selfish ke liye use karte hain. Atleast bapuji undertand anupama granted nahin lete hain

Waise bapuji to beginimg of serial mein bus 1 hafte ke liye aaye they and from aug 2020 to October 2020 arvind vaidh ( bapuji) ne atleast 2 month anupama ki shooting nahin ki thi bus ek do baar video se baat hui

Jub anupama ka time us time bahut crucial tha like vanraj ne jaanbhuj anupama se morning mein 4 log ka khaana banwane anupama ko school late kara diya jike wajah se anupama ki naukri chali gayi

Ya anupama ke bina hi toshu aur kinjal ki ring ceremony ho gayi. Kisi ne yeh nahin dekha anupama ring ceremony hai bhi ki nahin

Samar oppose aap. Subne bina anupama toshu aur kinjal ki sagaai kar liya

In sub mein bapuji nahin they as arvind vaidh ji was not shooting

To us time bapuji ke bare mein exactly khuch nahin kaha jaa sakta ki bapuji ji kaise react karte as arvind vaidh was not shooting for anupama

But after that bapuji ne strict 80 percent to liya hi hai vanraj ke khilaaf

Jub vanraj ne bola anupama se ki mere ghar se nikal jaao to samar ne bapuji ji se complain ki papa mummy ko bahar nikalne ke keh rahe hain

To bapuji ko gussa aaya aur kaha ki teri itni himmat ki anupama ko mere ghar se nikal ne ko kaho aur bapuji ne will paper phad diya aur naya will paper banaya jisme khaali anupama ke naam tha

Jub vanraj kavya ke ghar mein rehne gaya tub bapuji emotional weak nahin hue they vanraj ke liye. He was strict at that time ki. Vanraj ne anupama ko dhokha de kar bahut badi galati ki hai to vanraj ko punishnent milni chahiye

Yeh bus baa toshu pakhi yeh karte they ki hai mera beta hai mere papa but bapuji kabhi jyaada emotional weak nahin hue vanraj ke liye kyonki bapuji jaante they vanraj ne kitni badi sin kya ha

Some points in your post i agree, some i differ My 2 cents

Originally posted by: usernameyrkkh

Bapu ji's refusal to realise that he too is responsible for Anu's lack of education is a dead horse. Discussed enough.

But this man lectures the family a lot for someone who refuses to take any responsibility for his actions whatsoever.

• Blaming society for Vanraj's toxic masculinity. Well.. It's a father's job to teach his son a positive version of masculinity. His job to protect his kids from society teaching them evils. But alas! Let's blame the mother or society if the kid turns out bad. Typical.
• Calling Anu his daughter but doing the bare minimum. All the support he provides Anu is normal for a FIL in normal families. But does that make him a father? What kind of father emotionally manipulates his daughter into living with her abusive ex & gf-turned-wife? What kind of father never asks his sick daughter if she has taken her meds on time, or never offers her a glass of water?
• Sexualising Kavya. For all his chatter about treating DILs like daughters, gender equality, etc.. He was the quickest to sexualise Kavya's nighty. I still don't get what was so vulgar about it that he had to walk away. It was a very loose gown with a robe, down to her shin. He thought Kavya's ankles were vulgar? Again, typical. 70 years back my grandma also faced the same issue with her FIL. But now it's 2021. Pakhi walks around in shorts all day as a 17-18yo. Vanraj often roams the house in a ganji. So what's different? Status. Kavya's status as a female & a DIL.. Exposing Bapuji ka convenient feminism. Typical FIL signalling his wife to control the DIL's attire lengths.

Bapuji might be a good husband & grandpa, but he's a bad bad father. I hope his next lecture is about attaining some self awareness.

Bapuji seems to have totally overlooked Anupama's plea for pursuing her studies. Either he was too preoccupied making ends meet or thought that it was a matter handled by his mom and wife.

From Anupama's admission within a year of marriage she reached motherhood so the family might have conveniently forgotten the promise and definitely Hasmukh Shah is partly to blame.

Many times our thinking is shaped by the values we imbibe and not all values are instilled in us by our parents.As we get to experience the world of work we pick up new perspectives and drop old ones. Vanraj definitely has a nature that seems uniquely his making and i dont think we can hold his parents entirely responsible for it.

Baa is blinded by her love for her son but Baapuji has never supported him and has only been in favour of Anupama and asked Vanraj to leave the house after the EMA was known.

Baapuji does not have the power that Anuj has to instill fear in others who are nasty.He is assertive when need arises but at others he seems more a pacifist. I have lived in a joint family all my life both before and after marriage and what seems normal interaction in a nuclear family takes on a ew dimension when the needs of multiple generations have to be accommodated.(We were 4 generation of women in my parents place and there were 4 generations of men in my in laws place)

The value systems of each family is different though there are underlying matters that form the corner stone of any family.

Anupama derives her strength in being the caregiver. We saw her helping an old woman and ensuring Anuj ate the theplas she carried.She may not have felt comfortable being served by Baapuji.

Some people are used to certain thing and walk away to avoid conflicts when uncomfortable. I think he walked away knowing Baa would create a scene and not because he was a priggish when he did that.

When Dolly was upset with Anupama he senses it and speaks, when Rakhees name board is thrown it is he who picks it and offers to fix if they defaulted. With Samar he has such a wonderful bond. Maybe he is a person who feels for the underdog ...maybe he was one himself....he is not demonic as you have made him out to be .

He is a good soul and maybe it is unfortunate he has a son like Vanraj.

I've only started watching the show recently so can't comment on much about what went on previously but from what I've seen so far Bapuji's character is in the show to give gyaan about why someone did something. The makers think the reasoning he comes up with will make us sympathise with him but for me it works the opposite. He always reacts after all is done and Anupama has been through all the taunts and crap from everyone in the house. He never objects to anything when he needs to, giving reasons and excuses to justify his son's actions is pointless.

I do like the bond Anu shares with him though, perhaps cause she lost her father at a young age but he's just a regular FIL , nothing special about the way he treats her. Apparently he's the head of the house? Vanraj once told Kavya but he's hardly one.

Bapuji ji told once to leela bete se pyaar karna alag baat hai but moh karna ek galat baat. Agar tum bete se moh karogi to vanraj ko kabhi sabak nahin milega

Jub leela vanraj ke liye roti thi tub bapuji ne leela se kaha vanraj se moh karna chodo kyonki vanraj ne bahut badi galati ki

When vanraj went to kavya house after fully revealtin of vanya affair to stay with her to leela kehti thi ki pata nahin kavya ne vanraj ko kya khilaya hoga mera beta bhukha hoga but bapuji ne kabhi nahin chinta nahin ki vanraj bhookha hai ki nahin aur bapuji ne yeh bhi nahin chinta hai ki vanraj hamaare saath kyon nahin rehta bapuji at that time was Very strict to vanraj

Leela ne hath jod kur anupama se kaha ki tum mere bete ko maaf kar do. Mere bete ko divorce mut do aur jub anupama ne mana kar diya ki vanraj ko maaf nahin karegi to baa anupama ke against ho gayi ki tum ghar todna chahti ho tum kitne selfish ho

But bapuji ne kabhi nahin kaha ki anupama se vanraj ko maaf kar do

Aj jo anupama jo anuj ke saath kaam karne ko agree hui uska credit first bapuji ko hi jaata hai

Kyonki bapuji ne advice kiya tha ek dost jyaada ache jyaada samjha sakti hai anupama ko.

To jub bapuji ne yeh kaha ek dost jyaada ache se samjha sakti hai anupama ko uske baad kinjal ya samar ne devika ko call lagaya tub devika aayi thi anupama ko ache se samjhane ke liye

I'm not saying Bapuji is a villain. So others being worse is irrelevant.

I'm saying that half the times he's a useless, spineless man who refuses to take any responsibility. Other half of the times he's just a basic FIL despite all his progressive lectures & self-praise.

Maine yahi bola hai ki bapuji is not 100 percent perfect. Bapuji ji jyaada nahin bolte hai but jo bolte hai saamne wale ki bolti bant ho jati hai. Yeh bapuji ka flaw raha hai ki bapuji ji chup reh gaye ki ghar mein shanti bani rahe but ab bapuji chup nahin rehte bapuji ne kaise sabki daant lagayi aur anupama se kaha ki tum unki baat mat suno

Theatre uses a chorus or Suthradhar. Bapuji gives me that feel at times.