The result of apna kal ka brainstorming session @ananya.2. Otherwise PCs had sucked out all our desire for writing. And thanks for approving this one and also for the title Anaš
Angst alert for the first one at least. *hides under the bed in fear of flying tamatars*
Part 1: Kholun jo baahein bas gham yeh simat rahe hai, aankhon ke aage lamhe yeh kyun ghat rahe hai...
The warm turmeric milk maasi forced down her throat did nothing to help her sleep, neither did it help abate her tears. Instead, they remained as endless as the gaping hole that had opened up inside her heart, coursing down her cheeks in hot, tormenting trails. Her mind turned to her husband, and the mess that their relationship had become in so short a time and Raavi felt her heart clench in pain.
Turning her head, she found the spot next to her empty, and the ache in her heart intensified as she missed the feel of his warmth, his soothing scent next to her. Secretly she had hoped he would come back for her; she'd often imagine his expressions of mock indifference when he'd simply order her to come back home.
"Ae mami ki behen ki beti," he'd say. "Ghar chal rahi hai ki yahi pare pare sadne ka iraada hai? Dekh main chala gaya naa toh wapas nahi aunga." A twinge of hope began to blossom inside her chest, but she brutally stamped the tiny seedling out. None of that! She knew no amount of hoping would ever bring him back to her. It was just that, she wasn't able to deal with the pain of not being important to him.
Wearily, she closed her eyes, wiping at the streaks upon her face, attempting to brush the feelings away, before giving up altogether. Crying into her pillow, she allowed herself to feel her misery one more time.
*****
The darkness suffocated him as her thrashed around in his bed. Is this what loving someone makes you feel ā a mass of emotional emptiness in the end, alone and bitter? If so, perhaps it is best to never anyone ever again, he thought bitterly as he got up from the bed, giving up on sleep. Just like every other night, sleep eluded him, and Shiva knew he couldn't lose himself to dreamless oblivion.
It physically pained him to remain in the room where each and every object is saturated with her presence. Everything in the room reminded him of her. The bed where she laid beside him, the lamp he dropped on her feet that day, everywhere he looked he could feel her essence, and it just caused him more pain. He jammed his fists into his eyes, trying to staunch the memories and emotions that attacked him. Every attempt met with failure, and Shiva had enough - he cannot stay there anymore. He just can't.
He got up, and grabbing a bag he started stuffing it with his stuff. He simply couldn't spend another second inside this room. He had just grabbed his shirts from the closet, when his eyes caught a glimmer of pink. Shiva's heart skipped a beat when he realized what it was, and dropping everything else, he pulled her saree out of the wardrobe. It was the same one she wore while they were out in Mukhteshwar, fighting for their lives. She didn't know he had hidden it away in a deep corner of their closet; she didn't know seeing the saree gave him nightmares of that day. But now it reminded him of is his wife, and the look on her face as she chided him for complaining.
"Ladkiyon ko naa time lagta hai taiyyar hone mein," she had said while he gave her a once over, absolutely mesmerized.
Shiva hugged the saree to his chest sniffing it. It has long lost her scent but he could still feel her essence in the silky fabric. Brushing an errant tear off, Shiva crawled into bed with her saree, and mourned for the love he had lost, missing a pair of eyes observing his actions from afar.
*****
He watched her go, his heart aching. She'd never know it was all for her sake. She needed to be freed from the shackles of this undesired marriage. She deserved better; she deserved the best. Nothing but the best for Somnath ki sabse khoobsurat ladki. Why couldn't she understand everything he's been doing wasn't for him?? He's dying a little bit everyday. Why doesn't she understand, he didn't want to let her go?!? He doesn't want to break of the marriage he has begun to treasure above everything else. Why can she not see that it's all for her?
"Tujhe kaise batau, Raavi! Nahi todna chahta main yeh shaadi! Nahi jaana chahta tujhse duur! Kaash main tujhe bata pata! Kaash tu samajh paati! Kaash main tere layak hota! Kaash tujhe bata paata ki iss kaash ke darmiyaan main toot raha hu!!" With each word, his voice rose higher and higher, as he grew more desperate. The ache in his chest just kept growing stronger and stronger till Shiva couldn't bear it no longer, and let out a tearing, heartbreaking howl and collapsed into a heap on the ground.
Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up startled to see his younger brother looking at him in distress. Shiva quickly wiped off his tears with the back of his hands, and stood up hastily.
"Kya hai Krish?? Idhar kyaa kar raha hai?? Sab thik hai na?" Shiva inquired sharply.
"Yeh tu mujhe puch raha hai? Aur tu khud jo - " Krish began to speak, when Shiva cut him off.
"Dekh dukaan mein bohot kaam hai. Main jaa raha huu. Iss baare mein baat nahi karenge."
"Lekin main - " Krish tried again but Shiva had already walked off. Krish sighed, this was getting worse each day.
When he found out Shiva had misbehaved with his Raavi Bhabhiā, Krish was furious. He couldn't believe his brother, the one who worships their mother and Dhara Bhabhi, could behave so atrociously with his own wife. Even now as he watched them hurl vitriol at each other, Krish bristled but the second he saw Shiva's meltdown, Krish was suddenly lost in a sea of emotion, and the viscous words he had in store for him slowly dripped off his tongue and faded into nothing. He had never seen Shiva so broken in all the years he'd known him, and Krish's heart broke for his brother. The one who always stood like a rock against all the troubles, now lay broken and crumpled. Both of them are too stubborn and neither would let go off their stance. Shiva was too caught up with wanting to do what he thought was right, and Raavi Bhabhi was nursing her bruised self-respect. Both missed each other terribly but neither wanted to see the other's point of view, and Krish didn't know what to do. He failed to see how they could overcome this difference between them; right now it seemed too large a gap to bridge. At this rate, they'd grow further apart, and god forbid, what if they really get separated forever?? Krish faltered as fear gripped his heart. No! He'd have to talk to them both.
.................to be continued
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
