Originally posted by: inlieu
I completely agree with what you've said in the post. Pallavi shouldn't let anyone take her for granted and if Raghav wants to set boundaries he can't flip flop about that either as per his convenience. He really needs to watch what he says because Pallavi's going to keep letting things go until one day a slip of his really hurts her feelings. He has to get better at this, at least with his wife.
Raghav's relationship with his family cannot continue this way. The whole Sunny fiasco is shaking this up for their good and when the dust settles Raghav will see things clearly. He can try his best to protect Keerti but at the end of the she will be the one to sign the death warrant on the brother-sister bond if she wants to. He will never willingly kick her out his life, he loves her too much but I think based on what we saw in the dining table scene, the pain on his face, his realization of how these things will go, it was pretty clear that he knew this was conditional that he knew his family has been unfair with him. The onus of proving himself should no longer lie with him. He should stop caring and live a little and I guess the upcoming Mandaar track will be when he truly introspects and focuses on himself, his own happiness for a change. He will never be able to cut himself off from his mother, sister, and eventually Pallavi, but perhaps he will stop working so hard for their affection and let them also put in effort at maintaining these relationships, instead of bleeding him dry.
Props to Sai for how he wordlessly showed us through the almost-forming tears in his eyes, his hand slowly moving up to pat Keerti's hand, and his half-smile that never reached his eyes when she hugged him. Raghav knows exactly what's going on and to hear her call him bhai and shower him with all that affection in a superficial manner, gosh it can't get more painful than that. He's the kind of guy who'd rather have her be angry than be fake with him, because he is a Rao and he prefers they be straightforward about their thoughts and emotions.
Methinks Lion won't come and attack just yet. He will lie in the bushes, observing and waiting for the best moment to pounce on his prey, when Raghav will be the weakest.
I thought a bit more about why I wasn't too up in arms about the lashing out at her last week, but it made me furious today, and the general change in context is what it is. He's being hypocritical, and I don't like it.
Why was he upset last week? Because she knew about SunKi and chose not to share it with him, because it was not her place to. So, last week, he wanted her to insert herself in family issues. Today, he was upset that she's speaking in the matter, despite himself explicitly asking her to do so?? Why, because she doesn't agree with his approach? Seems like he wanted a yes-man from her more than a partner. Either she is family, which gives her a right to an opinion and the right to express it, or she's not- he can't have his cake and eat it too.
Also, the comment about family, ugh, it's not something anyone should ever say to their spouse- I am remembering his own past claim, ki shaadi ke baad my house and family are yours so yours is mine as well. But it felt exceptionally cold and below the belt in light of, "Main apni family ko chhodkar tumhe choose kar rahi hoon." Since that moment, she's been all in as far as her rights and responsibilities as a wife, a daughter-in-law and a sister-in-law go. Pallavi's been here before, and I don't want her to have to experience it again, where she's giving it her all, but still made to feel inadequate.
She put it aside in that moment, and chose to respond rather than sulk, which I love about her, but it was evident she was hurt. Raghav's regret was visible too, but slip-ups like this are going to add up in an extremely painful way, and har baar bol ke regret karna doesn't cut it. He said it because that's what he feels, it came out because of heightened emotions. I feel he's happy to give her rights as his wife, his excitement over her showing haq on him was genuine, but her contradicting him while exerting her haq as a SIL/DIL doesn't work for him, because he's carried the burden of caring for Jaya and Kirti alone all these years, despite fierce opposition from them. He doesn't know how or where to fit her in this very messed up dynamic. Till she's on his side, he appreciates having a partner, but when she's not, he just wants to bulldoze her protests like he's bulldozed Jaya's and Kirti's in the past.
He's certainly allowed to take time to no longer feel this way, but he can't make these statements. Kabhi kabhi zabaan pe lagaam lagani padti hai. She can't, and absolutely shouldn't keep letting it go.
With his mother and sister, I agree that he needs to stop putting them above himself all the damn time. With Jaya, a few steps have been taken in the right direction, and yes, they all would benefit from professional therapy, but aaj toh mujhe Kirti ka gussa bhi utna hi conditional laga jitna uska pyaar laga. Didn't she say she'll never forgive Raghav for killing Arjun and their dad? But if he supports SunKi, she'll get over it? After today, I feel even more certain about what I was saying yesterday- Raghav and Kirti's relationship has to be burnt down to ashes and rebuilt if it's going to have even the semblance of a healthy dynamic. I'm all for Kirti burning it down, and Raghav letting her for once, instead of trying to grasp onto scraps from her. Just like it has done wonders for Pallavi to be free of the hold Vijay had over her, letting go of this burden will do wonders for Raghav. He doesn't have to love or care for Jaya or Kirti any less, I doubt he could even if he tried, but maybe just realize that relationships cannot be one sided. Reciprocate what he's given whole heartedly, but let it be beyond that. He can't always safeguard Kirti, he's been doing it since episode 1, and it's only strained things more and more. Let her fall, and be there to help her back up if and when she needs/wants it.
Edited by aye-masakalii - 4 years ago
CID
