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Snusmit thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: mallukumari

There’s a massive interest in maintaining patriarchy, especially in India(or in Kerala, which is what I know well). I understand we were all brainwashed by it and need to relearn. I just have a real problem with women who want it maintained and are the enemy of fellow women.
i keep thinking change is on the horizon with the newer generation but then I’ll hear of something in the news and realize that even the newer generation are being raised by regressive parents to maintain the status quo. This expands to religion and caste issues too.

Ask me. I told my mom that my life experiences despite my privilege, despite my family that has always allowed me what to do , pushed me to excel I think a lot of who I am is because I am a female. No one is to blame. And I never faced any harrasment but there will be small differences such as me not wearing sleeveless because of body hair shaming or not being able to go out at night unlike male counterparts. My mom reiterated by saying some men were robbed on marine drive so it's unsafe for men also. Which I think was very funny. I told her I don't blame them for this but that's a sad truth that should be atleast acknowledged . She walked off the conversation. Often parents think us addressing patriarchy we faced makes them bad parents may be that's why they run off. I understand how difficult it is for a parent to grapple with these issues they have little control over but refusing acknowledgment seems to be ridiculous. Also I haven't been through anything. And I am looked after very well. I have no complains. I am just saying for me life is not bad it is just different from that of a man. And to say that is wrong because I have money and parents support. The reverse is true as well men do face a lot of issues. I am open to hearing them and acknowledging them. For me it's no one way road to equality. And I don't have a victim card or woman card. I want a equitable place for both man or woman.

Ndarsh thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: mallukumari

@bold: Exactly. You can see Ahir’s admiration of Anokhi and there was a depth to his love, not an obsession like Shagun.


And that’s why he’s been such a likeable character. Even if he’s been a rival to our one and only Chaand. 💕

Now to suddenly discredit his love by making him fall for her sister is a no go for me! I hope it doesn’t happen.🤞

mallukumari thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Snusmit

Ask me. I told my mom that my life experiences despite my privilege, despite my family that has always allowed me what to do , pushed me to excel I think a lot of who I am is because I am a female. No one is to blame. And I never faced any harrasment but there will be small differences such as me not wearing sleeveless because of body hair shaming or not being able to go out at night unlike male counterparts. My mom reiterated by saying some men were robbed on marine drive so it's unsafe for men also. Which I think was very funny. I told her I don't blame them for this but that's a sad truth that should be atleast acknowledged . She walked off the conversation. Often parents think us addressing patriarchy we faced makes them bad parents may be that's why they run off. I understand how difficult it is for a parent to grapple with these issues they have little control over but refusing acknowledgment seems to be ridiculous. Also I haven't been through anything. And I am looked after very well. I have no complains. I am just saying for me life is not bad it is just different from that of a man. And to say that is wrong because I have money and parents support. The reverse is true as well men do face a lot of issues. I am open to hearing them and acknowledging them. For me it's no one way road to equality. And I don't have a victim card or woman card. I want a equitable place for both man or woman.

You write so well. I 100% agree with your take. Like you, I've been very lucky to have supportive parents who have supported my education and all other choices in life. But there was long road to me unlearning some of the thinking I grew up with.

I agree that confronting our parents is tough, but I'm a big proponent for engaging in such arguments repeatedly and never giving up. I don't like the thinking that they're old and can't change their ways. I also really fight for it for my future children. I don't want the grandparents to influence my children's thinking with that regressive stuff.

My parents have changed a lot in their 25 years in America. They're so much more aware of how language affects people. They've been surrounded by people of many ethnicities and religion and have really embraced it all. The one thing I'm most proudest of is removing the mental health stigma. My dad actually went and talked to his doctor about his depression and anxiety in his 60's. I was soooo proud of him! Mind you, my dad is very alpha Mallu male, but has come to see that feelings aren't weak.

Your examples about going out at night and watching the clothes we wear really resonates with me(it probably does with most females). My husband makes fun of me when I say that I want to get home before it gets dark. But I tell him that he never had to go out into the world worried for his safety and it's a feeling/fear that is ingrained in females. Also because family honor is in our vagina, so don't get raped!(sarcasm!)

I wish men acknowledged how much all this toxic patriarchy has really stunted them too. There's no one way to anything, but I wish we were a society that at least acknowledged the issues(be it India or the US). Sometimes when I think about the way humans set up society, I'm flabbergasted that this is the best we could come up with.

dusk2dawn thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: mallukumari

Oh jeez! I love your gifs btw!!

Anokhi already tried the collar grab....god knows what comes next!!

Hahaha thank you.. 🤗

meri aur gifs ki kahaani.. is something else 😆

Peetayi comes next. I wish she beats him black n blue 😆

dusk2dawn thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Ashx


Darshi

Find me an gif where i can vent my anger out

I decided not to cook today and to eat the leftovers from the refrigerator but unexpected guests came and was in kitchen for most of the day 😡

Aww Ashu I totally understand this feeling.. unwanted guests 😡

Does this gif work for you.. ??

Image

dusk2dawn thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: rumi_dee

Darshii you killin it with the gifs today! 🤣🤣

Tanzi …Darshi Teri gifs wali behen hain 😂😁

Better than words I can express more efficiently woth gifs…

mallukumari thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: dusk2dawn

Hahaha thank you.. 🤗

meri aur gifs ki kahaani.. is something else 😆

Peetayi comes next. I wish she beats him black n blue 😆

Hayye so violent.

I think she'll hit him once....he'll go 'ouch' and she'll tend to him and forget that she was mad!

She's too soft for him.

dusk2dawn thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: mallukumari

Hayye so violent.

I think she'll hit him once....he'll go 'ouch' and she'll tend to him and forget that she was mad!

She's too soft for him.

Khud maaregi n khud hi uski marham patti karegi..😆

Snow_kf thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: rumi_dee

Darshii you killin it with the gifs today! 🤣🤣

Tanzi …Darshi Teri gifs wali behen hain 😂😁

Hum Sagittarius jo thehre😆

dusk2dawn thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Snow_kf

Hum Sagittarius jo thehre😆

Ohh yeah..😉😎😆



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