"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before"
Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven"
It was a cold stormy night, the atmosphere outside was bleak but it was no match for the fear raging inside Pallavi's heart. Raghav had been gone for two days now, no call, no text, nothing but absolute silence from his end.
Pallavi knew why.
She had received a call from her Baba the same afternoon urging her to come home. He refused to tell her the reason, stating it was a surprise. Pallavi's could hardly contain her happiness. Not wanting to delay and wait for Farhad to drop her, she had rushed on foot.
Within 15 minutes, Pallavi stood in front of the Deshmukh Nivas with barely concealed joy. Raghav and her were getting along pretty well, and now her Baba wanted to mend their relationship! Pallavi felt like her feet barely touched the ground.
The door opened and Pallavi blanched. There stood her ex-husband, Mandar Deshmukh. Looking exactly as she remembered him. A small smile gracing his lips. He welcomed her inside. If Pallavi wasn't in a daze she would have seen his eyes linger on the mangalsutra adorning her neck.
Before Mandar could speak, her Aai came rushing, "Pallavi!, andar aaja beta". Not waiting for a response Aai took her inside and made her sit down, "Paseena kitna aaya hai tujhe, ye le paani". She handed Pallavi a glass of cold water. She braved up a smile at her Aai.
Pallavi could barely speak. Closing her eyes, she took a shuddering breath, her hands trembled as she held the glass.
So, this was the surprise Baba was talking about, Pallavi thought ruefully.
The air was in the house was that of joy, it reminded her of the first time she met her family. There seemed a lightness in the air which had been missing for a long time now.
Mandaar had returned.
Deshmukh family's happiness knew no bounds, after all their son had returned home. There was a buzz in the household, happy smiles and bittersweet memories were shared.
A part of Pallavi was pleased, seeing the radiant smiles on the faces of her family. She was also glad, Mandar was alive. She had believed herself to be in love with him back then.
But a larger of her wanted nothing but to rush back into the arms of her husband. Things were surely looking up for them, and she feared Mandar's return would hinder it.
As the evening approached, Pallavi stood up to leave, but Baba stopped her. "Tumhara ghar yahi hai, Pallavi. Tumhe uss ghamandi ke ghar jaane ki koi jarurat nahi. Tum yahi rahogi, ab Mandaar laut aaya hai. Sab theek ho jayega".
Pallavi let out a humorless laugh. Her mind going over the time she was roughly pushed out of the same house, in the middle of the night, over the accusations of a stranger. She refused.
Her home was Raghav, and it was time to return. She waved her goodbyes and returned to the mansion.
An eerie silence greeted her. Pallavi walked down the narrow hallway that led to their bedroom. A single light burned, casting light on a chintz couch where he laid splayed nursing a drink in his right hand, some papers bunched up in his left one.
His dark gaze raked over hers, a wild storm brewing in them. His eyes informed her that he indeed knew of the happenings of Deshmukh Nivas. He gulped his drink and without a single word, he handed her the bunched-up papers- Divorce papers and was out of the room before Pallavi could get a word out.
That was the last she had seen of him. Now two nights later she sat huddled up near the window waiting for him to return.
She didn't understand this - him at all. For a man as smart as her husband his responses astounded her as they annoyed her. Why couldn't he ask her, hear her out for once rather than assuming everything on his own?
He loved her, she knew.
A man of few words that he was, it was all in his gestures. When she came down with chickenpox, he had kept a thorough watch on her recovery, made sure she had her meals on time, reprimand her for forgetting to take her medicines, and made sure she was resting well. Going as far as massaging her feet. Pallavi let out a tremulous smile at the memory
She had wondered then if his feelings for her had truly changed or was it simply just another one of his mind games.
Months after the incident she knew that the latter wasn't the case. As she realized he had always made sure she was well taken care of. Especially in his absence. She knew his eyes followed her every move when they were alone in their room. Those subtle glances that followed her as she came out changed into her nightwear, eyes fixated on her as she proceeded to brush her hair.
She wondered how many people outside of this mansion knew about this soft vulnerable side of her husband, she was lucky in terms of that. He truly was a fascinating man.
The soft creaking of the bedroom door alerted her of his presence. His eyes roamed around the room halting at her form, perched on the window seat. The one he had bought for her. It was this very seat that cemented her belief that he had indeed come to love her.
Without a word, he had then proceeded to take off his shoes. "Raghav", he ignored her and walked to the cupboards. She tried again, "Kaha they tum? I was so worried when you did not return my calls". Disregarding her, he took a fresh pair of clothes and went inside to change.
Pallavi sat down on the bed feeling disheartened. Minutes later she heard the shower turn off and Raghav walked out drying his hair. She took a deep breath to calm her frayed nerves. This was her chance and she couldn't let it go.
"Raghav" she called out, "I don't know Baba ne tumse kya kaha, just please hear me out".
The look he gave her, almost had her running for the hills. The words that followed were even more ferocious. "Hear out what Pallavi? The fact that my wife is convinced I am a murderer, that she thinks I kill people in cold blood or even four months later she still doesn't trust me enough to tell me it wasn't her who mixed poison in the Ashrams food".
Her eyes welled up, and his softened.
Their inability to trust the other was the reason their marriage had become so difficult to navigate.
"There are so many things you have kept locked inside of you Pallavi, outside of these four walls you are the perfect wife, the perfect daughter-in-law. And yet you fail to share your turmoil with the one who is the reason you are related to all of these people, your husband".
She said nothing then, she knew the time for words had been long gone. It was time now to break the walls that surrounded them. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him in an embrace for the very first time. If hugs healed, she’d hold him all night.
He released a long sigh, pulling her into himself tightly. The warmth that flooded her brought fresh tears to her eyes. She hugged him even closer and the words started flowing out of her.
"I am sorry, for all of those times that I hurt you knowingly or otherwise, I am sorry. We both have made mistakes of trusting others over our partner, but I am tired Raghav. I am so tired. I don't want to continue like this anymore. I want us to make a fresh start. Not as an ex-don and a widow. Just as two people Raghav and Pallavi.
Raghav looked relieved, his eyes reflected joy. "Aaj tak tumhare parivar ki galtiyan maaf karna, meri sabse badi bhul thi. Tumhare har ghaav ka, har dard ka, har aasu ka hisaab hoga.They will be punished, in due time" he ground out harshly, then smirking he pinned his gaze on her and whispered, "And so will you be, my darling".
"Why the disbelief sweetheart?" He smirked, " For us to truly have a fresh start, karz toh chukana hoga na tumhe mera".
"Kaisa karz?" She stuttered.
"Itne mahine jo maine tumhare intezaar mein bitaaye uska karz".
Raghav entered her personal space like he was entitled to it. His hand shot out to grip her neck lightly. Pallavi's eyes widened. She could feel his breath fanning her ear, making her toes curl in anticipation.
Raghav drew her closer to him. Both her hands came up to grip his wrists, his eyes resembling fathomless dark pools. He brushed his lips along the curve of her cheek and whispered delicately in her ear, "I've wanted to taste you since the day you barged in my life unannounced". Pallavi drew in a sharp breath and pulled back to look at him. His lashes lowered, and the heat of his gaze made her pulse tremble. Leaning down, he brushed his lips sensually over hers. Tiny sparks erupted under his touch, an answering thrill shot up Pallavi's spine, making her hands tighten over his wrists.
He kissed her, and her control slipped.
Desire that had been building up for months washed over them in a tidal wave, drowning all coherent thoughts until they became mere blips in the recesses of their mind. Her lips parted under his, and she was lost.This wasn't seduction, this was raw primal want. He kissed her with longing, with a touch of pain, but mainly, he kissed her with an over whelming wild hunger.
Pallavi responded in kind, surrendering to the powerful emotions detonating between them. Her hands slipped from his wrists to the back of his neck, pulling him closer until their chests were tightly pressed together.
She felt him let go of her neck and grip her hips. He kneaded the flesh there, until sliding up her skin. His hands curved around the side of her chest, brushing the curves of her breasts on either side. The feel of his hands on her skin took Pallavi to another insatiable level of pleasure. A low breathy moan escaped her mouth.
She wanted more.
Her feet left the ground. Raghav swung her around till her back hit the bed. His body covered hers in a display of sheer feline strength. He blocked out her world until all she could feel and think was him.
That night as they lay in each other's arms, the moonlight reflecting off their bare bodies. Pallavi felt at peace. She didn't know what would follow come tomorrow morning but she knew as long as she had this man, her husband beside her, she was ready for it. She was ready for it all.
PS :Thank you for the title Mihika! 🤗
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