I've been trying to catch up with the posts on here and on the forum have noticed that everyone has mentioned Dhara's partiality, for which I thought I'd put my two cents in 😊.
I'm assuming that the age difference between all three, dev, shiva and krish is a couple of years... Assuming that shiva is 22-23 that puts dev at 24-25 which means he is the closest in age to Dhara who'd 29-31, so naturally they'd have a more friends like bond. With Shiva I see them as kindred spirits, even though the have the most polar opposite personalities.
Dev cannot and will not ever create waves in any relationship. He tries to be diplomatic but in incapable of putting his point across in a succinct manner, causing more chaos. Because of this, Dhara does the thinking for him, case in point the disaster of a marriage, Rishita being pissed off etc.
Contrast with Shiva who does and will tell everyone what's going on in his mind when it comes to the family and even though he might stay quiet when it comes to himself, they have shown his character as being more mature for his age than normal and capable of solving anything bothering him himself. This may more so because he is sensitive to the pain that everyone goes through (i could go on but that would have to be an entire post 😂😂).
Coming to the main point of feeding Dev and not Shiva, we don't know if something similar has happened to Shiva especially since he's not said anything (rather they've not shown anything) but I have a feeling that it won't have happened, not because Dhara didn't make the food (she made his fav sabzi after all 🤣) but maybe because Shiva himself said he would respect her wishes till she deemed the punishment enough and forgives him(on a side note can I just say all the more respect to Shiva for accepting his mistake and punishment without any bells and whistles of how he's doing it). Isn't that why when he went to find the clothes he asked about the food when Dhara mentioned the handi.
Another thing, I also feel it looks as though Dhara seems to care less for Shiva only because she knows Raavi is more than capable of taking care of him despite the hate factor there is between them, whereas she knows Rishita wouldn't think to do that, because she (Rishita) doesn't think that way.
Dhara is like a typical old fashioned parent that puts more pressure on the better performing child because she feels like if she pushes them enough they'll be happier, whereas the weaker child gets coddled so they don't feel left behind.
Lovely post! Agree with all your points about Shiva, dev and dhara. You touched upon the subtleties of their relationships and character traits well ❤️