Short Stories: Trial by fire (Part 4, A& B - End, Pg 5 Updated: 30.5) - Page 5

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Viewpoint thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#41

Thank you dear! I’m happy to hear that you loved it. I enjoyed writing it as much ❤️

I look forward to writing more soon 🤗


Originally posted by: Amnnaa

I don't have words to describe this masterpiece. The angst confusion and pain were written so well that I was able to feel all those feelings while reading.

I loved every bit of it. The plotline, character development, dialogues and highlighted words were phenomenal.

Expecting more such works from you and thank you for this wonderful story 🤗🤗

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Posted: 4 years ago
#42

I am enamoured with your writing skills

I didn't realise 2 years had passed until Pallavi mentioned it because the pain felt by Raghav seemed as new as it was on the fateful day.

I really like the usage of Pallavi's name--it means new leaf

Your story was like even without saying anywords--a lot was conveyed and understood

Pallavi with a new identity--moving on her life and cutting her ties with everyone in the past was something I had loved to see in the show and here you have fulfilled that wish of mine..

Your poems so in apt with the situation, the narration, point of view of Raghav and Pallavi, the pain and angst in both their hearts which they have felt over the period of 2 years---was all written amazingly well

I remember in one of the recent episodes Raghav had said--he lets go of his anger and pain by blaming the world and confronting it while Pallavi keep it in herself and blames herself--and in your story Raghav's state of mind was published and noticed by everyone while nobody seemed to know about Pallavi's pain.

RaghVi is destined to be together--I loved their reunion--it was amazing how they were able to sense each other even without looking at each other.

and the last 2 lines before the quote is so beautiful..

This whole story was a great work Kiara...hope I will be able to see more amazing works from you in the near future

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Posted: 4 years ago
#43

Thanks for finally giving us a Beautiful End to the story


Ofcourse, like the previous update, I loved the usage of Poems to describe their feelings of angst & pain😲 ♥️

I generally am not a believer that Raghav or Pallavi's character will be suited for an abroad setup since Pallavi is all about family & Raghav's business is majorly in India, but ofcourse he's a major Indian jewel magnate & hence his designs might be famous in foreign lands as well.

Maybe Pallavi turning over a new leaf is exactly what she required unknowingly & it makes sense for a fresh start somewhere totally different.


I never knew the meaning of Pallavi was a New Leaf. Wow! Did the makers actually think so much into this character & that's why her name's Pallavi - cos she would start a new chapter with Raghav in the show too. If yes, it's commendable on their part.


I loved truly loved the way you paced the story, how both of them realized they loved each other after the brutality that they had to endure cos of his impulsiveness. That's got to hurt real bad💔


The strong winds swept her hair into my face. - Loved how you put one of my favourite scenes of RaghVi. This scene is something so intimate, the way he recognizes her just cos of her hair fragrance be it here ot ITV


Hope to see more such beautiful pieces from you

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Posted: 4 years ago
#44

Hey Reem!


I so glad you liked it 🤗I've always felt this story to be intense and hard hitting at times. But it's something I personally love and of course we were not going to get this on TV since they cannot separate the leads but will force them to be together.

I really wanted Pallavi's character to get a chance to make a choice. I personally believe that if a woman is thrown out of the house in the middle of the night, that is no place for her to return to. I draw reference from Sita Mata. She refused to go even after Shri Ram came to take her back. A woman owes it to herself. She definitely cut ties with them but then I left it vague as to who exactly received the backlash. In this situation, the bigger culprit were the D's. Not even Raghav.

Bold - You've picked this up very cleverly 🤗Exactly what I wanted to depict. She is the one who keeps it all buried inside her heart whereas Raghav is more expressive hence we hardly get to see the emotional trauma she goes through.

The reunion - I thought of this for days and had to get it to end just at the point where they meet and was searching for the perfect setting. I'm glad you liked it.


I look forward to writing, not only because I enjoy it, but more because I get such beautiful and detailed feedback from you guys. Thank you!! 😊


Originally posted by: ReemShah

I am enamoured with your writing skills

I didn't realise 2 years had passed until Pallavi mentioned it because the pain felt by Raghav seemed as new as it was on the fateful day.

I really like the usage of Pallavi's name--it means new leaf

Your story was like even without saying anywords--a lot was conveyed and understood

Pallavi with a new identity--moving on her life and cutting her ties with everyone in the past was something I had loved to see in the show and here you have fulfilled that wish of mine..

Your poems so in apt with the situation, the narration, point of view of Raghav and Pallavi, the pain and angst in both their hearts which they have felt over the period of 2 years---was all written amazingly well

I remember in one of the recent episodes Raghav had said--he lets go of his anger and pain by blaming the world and confronting it while Pallavi keep it in herself and blames herself--and in your story Raghav's state of mind was published and noticed by everyone while nobody seemed to know about Pallavi's pain.

RaghVi is destined to be together--I loved their reunion--it was amazing how they were able to sense each other even without looking at each other.

and the last 2 lines before the quote is so beautiful..

This whole story was a great work Kiara...hope I will be able to see more amazing works from you in the near future

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Posted: 4 years ago
#45

Hi Sonia (I hope I can call you Sonia) 😊

To be honest, I've been nervous about this part, the end. I've been waiting for feedback and I go like, oh maybe it did not come out as I intended to. But your feedback just tells me that the message and the story has been conveyed 🤗

I actually like the name Pallavi so when I first watched the show, I was like, hey Raghav is Shri Ram's name. What does Pallavi mean? So I found out. Since then, I've always wanted to use it somewhere and the reason to bring it in here was to progress the plot. Raghav has nothing sacred left with him other than his art. Art is always next to God, if done with a pure heart. And that's when I got this idea of a new launch.

I agree, New York is not somewhere I would normally see such two characters. Raghav was just visiting and Pallavi, she needed a break and a fresh start. A new leaf.

I am planning a sequel to this, because they've not yet confessed and will she move to India? Will Raghav decide to stay back? Who confesses first? But first I had to get this SS out so that the journey towards love can start. This was just a journey of the end of pain.

The hair scene - It's a signature scene now, could not have missed it! 😆


Thank you for commenting, it means a lot 🤗

Originally posted by: SONIA441

Thanks for finally giving us a Beautiful End to the story


Ofcourse, like the previous update, I loved the usage of Poems to describe their feelings of angst & pain😲 ♥️

I generally am not a believer that Raghav or Pallavi's character will be suited for an abroad setup since Pallavi is all about family & Raghav's business is majorly in India, but ofcourse he's a major Indian jewel magnate & hence his designs might be famous in foreign lands as well.

Maybe Pallavi turning over a new leaf is exactly what she required unknowingly & it makes sense for a fresh start somewhere totally different.


I never knew the meaning of Pallavi was a New Leaf. Wow! Did the makers actually think so much into this character & that's why her name's Pallavi - cos she would start a new chapter with Raghav in the show too. If yes, it's commendable on their part.


I loved truly loved the way you paced the story, how both of them realized they loved each other after the brutality that they had to endure cos of his impulsiveness. That's got to hurt real bad💔


The strong winds swept her hair into my face. - Loved how you put one of my favourite scenes of RaghVi. This scene is something so intimate, the way he recognizes her just cos of her hair fragrance be it here ot ITV


Hope to see more such beautiful pieces from you

Viewpoint thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#46

Also, I listened to Laal Ishq the whole time I wrote this piece. I love the song, I can play it on loop for one year. Or forever 😆 It took me 3 hours to conclude, which excludes the thinking process, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. I will always hold this very dear to my heart because sometimes it's more than a story, it's about the process and what you feel during the process.

I love writing and I'm happy this place lets me do it.

SONIA441 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: Viewpoint

Also, I listened to Laal Ishq the whole time I wrote this piece. I love the song, I can play it on loop for one year. Or forever 😆 It took me 3 hours to conclude, which excludes the thinking process, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. I will always hold this very dear to my heart because sometimes it's more than a story, it's about the process and what you feel during the process.

I love writing and I'm happy this place lets me do it.

@bolditalics - I totally get what you mean here.


Laal Ishq is such an intense song. I totally understand the magnetic quality ♥️ .

Woah, that's some real dedication you have for your stories .


Please Please make this SS longer (as I get to read more of your writing), I would love to see both their stories culminate in India as that's where his Family also is. I would like to see Pallavi bond with Raos to help him also be truly together with Amma.Didn't get the proper due in show cos she just came for Pallavi but a proper rejoining of hearts as Mother-Son never happened. As for D-fam, she needs to drop them for all I care & just be connected to her Dada-Vahini .


And ofcourse these're just ideas, even if you choose to write something different I would still read it & love it. That's for sure😎

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Posted: 4 years ago
#48

Laal Ishq was such a beautiful song. I still remember the first time I heard it and I was head over heels.

Bold - This, exactly! Amma's acceptance for Raghav is still to be explored deeply. I loved the first amma, lioness. The way Raghav behaved with her was a bit different coz he was genuinely scared of her. I remember the shradh episode and how he cried 😭

D-family. Ignored 😆But Pallu is too attached so I'll have some points of inclusion sadly haha.

I am keen to explore Keerti and Raghav's story from my perspective. He's an estranged brother so the bonding will inevitably be a bit complicated regardless of the love he has for her, and she for him.

All khyali pulao, but this is what good characters do to us...we just want to see so much more about them.

I wonder what will happen to us when all this ends 🤣


Originally posted by: SONIA441

@bolditalics - I totally get what you mean here.


Laal Ishq is such an intense song. I totally understand the magnetic quality ♥️ .

Woah, that's some real dedication you have for your stories .


Please Please make this SS longer (as I get to read more of your writing), I would love to see both their stories culminate in India as that's where his Family also is. I would like to see Pallavi bond with Raos to help him also be truly together with Amma.Didn't get the proper due in show cos she just came for Pallavi but a proper rejoining of hearts as Mother-Son never happened. As for D-fam, she needs to drop them for all I care & just be connected to her Dada-Vahini .


And ofcourse these're just ideas, even if you choose to write something different I would still read it & love it. That's for sure😎

SONIA441 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#49

Wow! Looks like you already know what I have in my mind😳


I totally agree with your feels about the old Amma. She was fierce & Raghav looked like a scared cub infront of her😆

Chup chup 😲End ki koi baat nahi karega abhi. Abhi bahut jeena hai humare show ko


I'm so glad you are going to write about the estranged siblings as well. Now, I can't wait to read it. Get on it already, will ya😉

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Posted: 4 years ago
#50

Oh, how did I miss this splendid story.. the style of writing is so brilliant, prose and poem to depict the emotions ❤..I felt like I'm seeing a musical or a Broadway show where the passionate characters are singing their heart out to put across the point..I think my favorite chapter would be the confrontation. No words to express, just that it was so lovely..thanks for this !

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