Originally posted by: asmi_joya
What I mean to say is how easy it is for him to reach that extremes of angers and think of if she has done this I dont know what will I do kind of juncture.. Even before seeing/witnessing Sai doing it he thinks about how uncontrollably angry he would get.. Virat has never been this angry with any of his family members like he is with Sai.. Their mistakes are more grave.. He lets all the atrocities go just with a ghar ke bade comment.. And if his extreme anger is accompanied by his insecurity I don't really know what to say then..
I have loved in the recent episodes how Virat has been apologetic about his (mis)behaviour with Sai unlike other versions of the show.. I have grown to like his I own up to my mistakes.. But then the whole purpose of apology is destroyed when you repeat the same mistake again.. Yet again I am hoping he doesnt actually go the Rono way.. Because Virat has been more empathetic than Rono..
I wanted to reply to this but needed time. Kept searching for this post 😂.
I know, you know the most of it already, but the first few points is something you might want to think. I too don't like him shouting at Sai and have tried to think many times about this. His actions are anyway not justified but the reason is only this.
If you find the post to be too lengthy, please skip to the summary in this post. The heading is in blue font. Have tagged a few friends who have also always had issues with this behavior of Virat.
Please excuse me, if you find some/many of the points repetitive 😳.
The uncontrollable anger that he gets and especially with Sai is because of the below.
He is able to be himself and express himself to Sai. We know how CN is and the way people are.
Virat is conditioned to live in a particular way and the Virat with them is not the actual Virat. He is not a liberated Virat.
Virat with his Aai and Sai is the actual Virat. There are no filters, doesn't need it at all.
With everyone else, he is conditioned to act that way. It is not to maintain an image or anything, he behaves the way, that is expected out of him and he follows it judiciously. Like an army man, one can say. Deviations are never encouraged.
Sai never cared about what others thought. That was totally new to him. He never took the insults at GC seriously, because he was attracted to her courage, her guts, her no filter attitude. So he knows that Sai would also be okay if he behaves freely with her. He knows that she wouldn't judge him.
The Virat at GC who tolerated Sai's behavior was the Virat who is in general. The Virat whom we see fighting or showing anger on Sai or his Aai is the actual Virat. He loves Sai, has faith that she wouldn't mistake him, there is no need to think before he acts with Sai. It is the same with Aai too sometimes.
It is not like rights or liberty, it is the trust and faith in them that they won't judge him and he doesn't have to think twice to be able to express his emotions. He loves them a lot and can expect them to understand him, he cannot expect it from anyone else. Such things happens naturally. He puts in efforts for his conditioned behavior towards his family, whereas with Sai, he can let his emotions flow.
It happens with many couples as you would know. The way a husband or a wife react sometimes to others, would not be the way, they react to each other under the same kind of situation.
It has got to do with expectations as well. Couples have hopes and expectations from each other in terms of actions and understanding as well. Have expectations that the other will understand as why they did it.
Also, when others does it, it wouldn't bother them, wouldn't affect them, as much as it affects or bother when one of them does something like that.
One more thing that I always relate is that there are many who wouldn't like anyone pointing fingers at their spouse.
The reason being, they know all the good qualities of their spouse, have a good understanding of them, know their good intentions. Hence they feel that their spouse don't deserve any kind of hatred or dislike. They won't be able to bear or should I say that it really hurts them or disturbs them, when people who are poorly behaved, who lack moral values and lack a lot of other things, speak anything ill about their spouse.
Virat would never like if Karishma or Sonali comments of speaks ill of Sai. The reason why he always wants her to act careful and thoughtful.
And in a couple, if one of them had given a chance, for anyone else to point fingers at them unknowingly too, they will get upset with their spouse.
It is the feeling of, why give a chance to someone else to point fingers at you in first place.
In Virat's case, he has always wanted her to behave and act in such a way that no one can point fingers at her.
Anything, where they are unreasonable, he will be able to tackle, but not when she is at fault. It is not because he feels caught in between family and Sai, it is just that he will have no reasons or justifications to support her.
To summarise, the way Virat reacts harsh/rude/volcano with Sai is because
- He can be himself with her, express his emotions without having to think. This is also because
- - he has faith that she will understand him
- - has faith that she won't judge him
- - knows that she wouldn't expect him to behave only in a particular way
- - she herself acts without filters
- - has expectations from her and cannot/doesn't have from others. He sometimes leaves them thinking they are hopeless, but can't think that way with Sai.
- - has faith in her that she won't do anything wrong/harm anyone in anyway. He doesn't care if others in his family have made mistakes, because he has always seen that in them and nothing more can be expected from them.
Also he only cannot bear it if she makes mistakes, it hurts him because he trusts her to not make such mistakes.
- - doesn't want her to give chance to anyone to point fingers at her. It is not because she is his wife and it is embarrassing, it is because he gets hurt and affected when someone questions her actions or when they scold her or insult her. He takes it to heart.
He gets disturbed when she gets bashed. Wouldn't be a problem if she is not wrong, he can fight for her. But when she is wrong, he feels helpless, unable to support her, also unable to see her getting attacked by all and especially by worthless people like Karishma.
He knows that she doesn't deserve it and feels that she could have been careful to not fall into problems.
- - other than all the above reasons, he vouches for her, trusts her and defends her but when he is proved wrong, when she is actually wrong, his trust on her gets questioned and he ends up having no answers. Falls into a position where he is not able to defend her.
This time with Devi Tai, this is another reason why he is very angry. She has broken his trust on her. His trust on her is proved wrong in front of his family too.
- others actions doesn't bother as much as Sai's or even Aai's because he has high hopes of only these two, keep these two in high regards. If they are proven to be wrong, he feels let down by them, disappointed by them.
When others does, it is something like
"I anyway only expected this from them" or
"what else can be expected out of this person" or
"nothing that I say is going to bring a change in this person, when they haven't changed in all these years, how much can be expected from them" kind of an attitude. Sometimes he feels they are hopeless.
He thinks
"Baat karke koi faayda nahi hone waala hai. Agar baat karoonga bhi, toh saare ilzaam Sai par hi daal denge ya phir Sai mein aur galtiyan nikalne lag jayenge"
"Kaku purane khayalat ki hai aur unse isse zyaada koi ummeed bhi nahi rak saktha main"
Edited by laksh - 4 years ago