Love, Unrequited [Thread 2 : Pg 140] - Page 47

36. A Place Of Dreams

'Did I just see Ahilya Lokhande?’ Mithila pressed the floor number in the elevator.

‘You know her?’ Nishit was drafting a mail reply on his phone.

‘Know her? She’s my step aunt. Was actually.’

‘Hmm?’

‘She was married to the step brother of my mother. He died a few years ago bequeathing his share of wealth to her. It had led to such a huge scandal. His son – my cousin – filed a case which she won! What a force that woman! When I was young, I had a crush on her. She had this enigmatic aura. So many stories about her. Each wilder than the other.’

The elevator pinged and they stepped out, walking to his apartment where Mithila punched in the password.

‘I happened to meet her. She’s my neighbor.’ Nishit said, putting away his phone and keys, loosened his tie.

‘Is she?’

‘Hmm. You can say Hi the next time.’ His phone pinged and he picked it up to read the message.

‘No, I’m good. We’ve not talked in years now. We have maintained our distance from her after the last stint. That hasn’t prevented her from maligning my mother’s family name with her conquests, paramours young – old alike. Last man she dated was 15 years younger than her. She’s what? 50? And he was 35. Some say she’s living with a man who’s 29ish.’

‘Are we age shaming here? She’s pleasing to the eyes and has an enormous presence. Who cares how old she is?! To me she didn’t look like a day older than 30.’

‘That would be stretching it too far, Nishit. 40, okay but 30? Cast her magic spell on you, did she?’

‘I am going to take a shower,’ he said closing off the topic.

‘Okay’ Mithila grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator and dropped her heels, picked up the remote, settled into the settee.

When Nishit returned from his bedroom with wet hair and smelling of soap and deodrant, Mithila asked, ‘Are you leaving for somewhere? I was planning to spend the night here.’ He was dressed in casuals and was again pulling on his shoes.

‘I had promised to be with Prasanna.’

‘Be back soon then.’

‘Not sure if I’ll be back tonight.’

‘No fun tonight, then?’

‘Doesn’t look like it.’

‘I was so in the mood. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’

‘It had slipped my mind. I received her reminder only sometime ago.’

‘Can’t you cancel?’ She batted her eyelids.

‘Can’t,’ he said tersely. ‘You’re leaving or staying?’

‘Bye,’ she lifted her hands in a farewell reclining further into the plush furniture. ‘Who needs you when I can play with myself?!’ Her eyes were rooted to moving pictures on the TV.

XxxX

‘Biplab’s Dadi is so cute. Like an old bear. Have you met her?’ Prasanna and Nishit had retired to her room after dinner.

‘You never told me you were going to her house.’ Putting away the magazines, he flopped on her bed.

‘You wouldn’t have allowed it. So I took Mom’s permission.’

‘And she allowed you? To Borivali?’

‘It might have involved some omission of truth,’ Prasanna confessed. ‘I told her I wanted to visit a friend. Did not mention the details of it.’

‘She did not ask for details? That’s not like Mom.’

‘She was preoccupied.’

‘Ah. Right timing, indeed. So what did you do?’

‘Apart from eating?’ Prasanna asked with a gentle smile. ‘We watched a movie. I talked to Kirti for some time. Then..,’ here she was interrupted by her brother. ‘She was home? Shouldn’t she be at work?’

‘No, she was at home. An off day, maybe. Anyway, she remained locked in her room. Biplab said she has a job interview coming up. It was only after lunch that we could talk for some time.’

‘Oh.’ Nishit picked up one of the magazines that he had discarded earlier, and flipped its pages carelessly, his gaze glossing over everything without really looking at anything. ‘So what did you talk about?’

‘This and that. Nothing that would interest you.’

‘What would you know about my interests?’ He stared at an article about asteroids.

‘True. Apart from your love for a certain subject, I don’t think I really know you. With you moving out, the distance has become wider,’ Then, because her brother was looking up at her with a solemn expression, and she had no wish to delve deeper into her comment, she was quick enough to change the subject, ‘We were talking about love and life. She was giving me relationship lessons.’

‘She’s qualified enough?’

‘One would think she is. She dated a guy for some three years. She was telling me how one should not get into a relationship just because one feels pressurized or is feeling left behind and alone or feels slighted by someone or just to prove a point.’

‘Kirti is nice, Bhai.’ She did not add that Kirti’s brother was nicer. ‘A bit prickly, though. She thinks of herself as a Sisyphus who’s been given the absurd and meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain only to see it fall back. I don’t know what the martyrdom is for. To unnecessarily create drama and angst which she could do without.’

‘Interesting observation. I wonder how she would feel to be described like this by a person whom she devoted precious minutes from her preparation – which she could have totally avoided – to share moments of friendship along with a few pearls of wisdom.’

‘I am not back stabbing her or something,’ Prasanna clarified her stance, ‘Just making a neutral observation.’

‘We do not live her life to be eligible enough to pass pithy observations. We do not know her struggles. If you’re comparing her with her brother, I’d like to remind you, he has the fortune of being the second born. Much of the disappointments and adversities did not touch him because his sister absorbed all of them for him. No one’s born a Sisyphus, Prasanna.’

‘OK, fine. I was wrong.’ Prasanna put her hands up in the air. Though she acted nonchalant, she felt stricken with guilt. Kirti had truly been an epitome of love and patience as she had sat listening to Prasanna’s grumblings against life’s injustices, her family and her lack of love life without any judgments. ‘Now I can’t even speak my mind without being chastised or lectured upon. You two must be really close for you to defend her like this. But Kirti says, you don’t like her.’ When her brother appeared not the least bit interested, she added,’ Kirti said she tried liking you but your lack of interest in her whole person was so off putting that she stopped trying all together?’

‘Did she now?’ was her brother’s clipped response. Realizing she was not going to get any more out of him, she got down to business. ‘Bhai, you need to accomplish a task for me.’

‘What task?’ Nishit asked, flinging away the magazine and pulling a pillow under his head.

‘Persuade Mom to invite Kirti and Biplab to the Diwali function. When I suggested their names she refused me saying this was a high end event with only the big names invited in.’

‘Don’t you think it’s a futile exercise?’

‘What is a futile exercise? Convincing Mom? She is incapable of turning you down.’

‘I am talking about Kirti. She won’t come.’

‘How can you tell?’

‘I know her, that's how I can tell. And you should also be able to. Did you not remember how she stood you up?’

‘That was different. Now we are friends. We have shared food and secrets. She will come now if I invite,’ Prasanna argued.

‘Sorry, if I do not share your optimism.’

‘Are you going to do as I say or should I ask Tejas Bhai? I will ask Tejas Bhai then to convince Mom and also invite Kirti. She wouldn’t turn him down, will she? I just want them here. Doesn’t matter on whose invitation she comes.’

‘I will talk to Mom.’

‘Thank you, Bhaiii. I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me. It would be nice to have them here. It was so good to be at their place. Dadi is essentially Dadi, loving and caring and so happy to have me there. She made me miss Dadimaa. Let’s go visit her one of these days. And Kirti, I wish she was my sister. It would have been nice if I had a sister. Why do we have all boys in our family? Why don’t I have a sister even if it’s a cousin? Someone like Kirti? Oh, how I wish she was my sister. Then we could have…’

‘…..’ Her brother muttered something inaudibly.

‘Did you say something Bhai?’

‘Nothing. Please carry on with your flights of imagination.’

XxxX

‘Okay, Tejas. I’ll call you later. Need to go to sleep. Have to start early tomorrow.’

She had called him up to share her dilemma of whether to appear in the next day’s test or not. Even though she had tried to cover all the crucial parts of her portion, a major chunk still remained untouched. When the stomach knots and somersaults had become unbearable she had called her dear best friend.

‘If you are unsure, don’t appear,’ he had said, ‘Why sabotage your self confidence? If you don’t make it through, unnecessary disappointment.’ And after a few minutes of discussion on her career, she didn’t realize when his life happenings and talks about Sana’s tantrums took center stage. Somehow she had extracted herself from it. She knew she was being a selfish bitch, but she did not have time for all this. Tomorrow was her exam. The thought brought back the somersaults. Talking to Tejas had been a bad idea; his words had worsened her nerves.

‘Let it be. I am just going to sleep it off,’ she decided, closing off her books and putting away her phone. Laying on the bed, she felt something poke her neck. Feeling up her bun, she found the pen and pulled it off, her hair loosening. In the moonlight coming from the window, she stared at the slim, blue point pen. Jumping off the bed, she grabbed her phone and quickly tapped on a contact number, before she could have second thoughts.

Four long rings and yet no response. Well, what was she expecting? Deleting the number from her call log – so that come tomorrow morning there remain no traces of her impulsivity – she dragged her feet back to the bed. A sane part of her mind whispered that it was half past one in the night. Night when people – sane people – were tucked away in their beds, but she scoffed thinking, nobody slept in so early these days. At least no CFOs.

Kirti had just drifted to sleep when the sharp shrill ringtone of her phone, jerked her out of the bed.

‘Hello,’ she said, half asleep.

‘Hello Kirti. You had called last night?’

‘Huh? Who is it?’

‘Nishit.’

‘Oh, yes, I called you some time ago not last night.’

‘My phone showed only the calls at around 1:30 am. Did you call in the morning as well? What happened? Is everything alright? Dadi? Biplab’

‘Huh? Everyone is okay. Nishit it’s late night and I am sleepy. Let’s talk in the morning.’

‘Kirti, it’s half past four in the morning.’

‘WHAT??!’ She opened her eyes truly this time and looked at the dewy morning outside. The bird chirruping and the ohm of Gokhale uncle was clear and loud. But she had just gone to sleep.

‘Good morning,’ he said on the other side, pulling her attention to him.

‘Morning,’ she said.

‘So you had called me?’

‘Umm yeah, woh…I…’ What had she been thinking calling him? ‘Your pen! Yes, your pen. I still have your pen.’

‘You called me late night for this?’ It sounded incredulous to her own ears.

‘Yes!’

‘Then you can keep it. No need to stress your nights over such an insignificant thing. By the way how is your preparation coming along?’

‘Okayish. I have the test in a few hours,’ she blurted. She hadn’t even told her family about the D day being today or her Dadi in her over exaggeration of things worsening her nerves.

‘Oh’

‘I am not sure if I should go.’

‘Why?’

‘What if I don’t clear it?’

‘So? You will try for something else. Keep at it, unless you get what you’ve been seeking.’

‘Easier said than done. You have never faced rejection in your life.’

‘Says who? My research paper has been rejected five times in a row now. FORSES was not my first choice. The company I had applied for before this chose another more experienced candidate despite having promised me the position. I have been trying for an internship with this economist, writing him letters every year and have not heard from him even once. I have a long list too.’

‘But what about the beating my confidence would take?’

‘The confidence that does not allow you to step out of your comfort zone, that isn’t confidence. You don’t store and preserve confidence like pickle, Kirti. They are won in battlefields. I would suggest you show up despite whatever you’re feeling. Take it as an experience. So many years out of the field, don’t you want to just look how things are now? The questions are the same, as they used to be? Has your knowledge lost relevance? Honestly if I were at your place, I would take it as a fun exercise.’

‘Thank you, Nishit. I’ll go do some revision. I have to report there by eight.’

‘Where’s this Coaching Institute, btw?’

XxxX

A few hours later, Kirti was tying her hair, packing her bag and slipping surreptitiously into the kitchen to lick a spoonful of curd and throw some sugar cubes into her mouth. The rise and falls of the tides in her stomach were in full swing. She had used the washroom thrice since morning.

‘Leaving early today?’

‘Yes, Dadi. The manager has summoned us early.’ She replied hugging her grandmother and gathering all the good luck and courage from her. ‘Bye Dadi’

She opened Biplab’s room door. He was still asleep. ‘Bye Biplab,’ she said nevertheless.

‘Bye Di. All the best.’

XxxX

‘Where’s Bhai? He was supposed to go out on a walk with me?’ Prasanna asked aloud.

Buta, who was listening to morning Bhajans on a local channel, ‘Maaa Sherawaliye…Tera Beta Aa Gaya,’ at a really loud volume, turned and replied distractedly, ‘Bhaiyya said to inform you some work came up. He will go with you some other day.’

‘It must be some urgent work otherwise he never cancels our plans,’ she thought and decided to go back to sleep. ‘Lower the volume Buta. People are still sleeping.’

‘But Didi, morning mein zor se bhajan sunne se hawa pavitra ho jati hai.’

‘What is the use of purifying the air when you’re going to start polluting it the moment the clock strikes eight, with those cringey 9XM songs.’

XxxX

Kirti parked her bike, and looked up at the towering building, the nerves kicking in full force. The building housed a Honda showroom, a food restaurant, few shops and centers. The coaching was on the eighth floor.

‘Jai Ganpati Bappa,’ she prayed and was about to step ahead when someone called her from behind. She turned to see Nishit leant against the bonnet of the car as if he had been waiting for her. Waving his hands at her, he moved off his car and jogged the distance between them.

She saw him and her stomach did a backflip. It was like a ballerina appeared out of thin air? - Mucous of her stomach would be more appropriate - ready to perform her jig.

‘Hi!’ She trilled.

‘Hey,’ he came to stand before her.

‘What are you doing here?’ Her words were rushed, underlined with intense excitement, and steeped in unalloyed joy.

‘I had some work here.’

‘This early?’ She looked at him suspiciously. She wished he would say he was here for her; would be a nice little silver lining in her grey spinster life.

‘Yeah, my office building is at a stone’s throw from here. You know that right?’

‘Is it? Sorry. My mind is not being its best version today.’

‘What are you wearing, though?’ She asked, surveying him up and down. Round neck loose black shirt, knee length black pants and flip flops that too in black. It was like his Shani ki Sadhe Sati was on and had been advised to wear black to please Lord Saturn. But today was no Saturday! His face sported a 5 o’ clock shadow and notwithstanding the color of his clothes, he rocked the look. Rich and beautiful. Envy of so many.

‘Clothes, I suppose. Why do you ask?’ He scratched the back of his neck with the key in his hand.

Because I happened to have forgotten my brain to mouth filter.

‘Just like that. I have never seen you in this avatar before.’

‘Come on. You’ve seen me in much less than this.’ And because it could have many implications, Kirti could not help the red that crept her neck and cheeks. Looking away from him and at her watch, she said, ‘I need to go then.’

He nodded his head. ‘Go get it greenie.’

‘Aye, captain,’ she said with a lightheartedness she did not feel. The man was messing with her already frayed nerves. She should leave but she lingered unnecessarily basking in the warmth and joy his presence evoked.

‘I should go then,’ she said again, moving not an inch away. Instead, she felt him step in closer and very awkwardly put his hands on her head – it was a cross between a pat and smoothing of hair –, then a pat on her shoulder and said, ‘Here, I lend you some of my high class star dust and good luck.’

How obnoxious, she thought!

‘I hope it works,’ she muttered. The ballerina in her stomach was pirouetting now. Kirti would not be surprised if the ballerina was going to jump out to say a ‘hi and best of luck. Your inside by the way is a jiggly place.’

‘It works alright. It’ll bear you good results. It comes with a guarantee card.’

‘Let’s hope I make it this time.’

‘Amen to that.’

‘I should definitely go in, now.’ She announced, hoping he would get the hint and remove himself from her.

‘I also think you should.’ He replied.

‘Huh?’ She looked up at him to see he had already stepped away, a cool morning breeze fillING the space between them. His eyes were alight with mischief.

‘I am going.’

‘All the best.’

The roads behind them had begun to fill with a few vehicles.

‘Kirti!!!’ He stopped her midway.

‘When will you be free? Let’s go for lunch after this.’

‘Why should I go on lunch with you? Go with your Mithila!’ She added the last bit before she could stop herself. But since the arrow was out in the air, she said, ‘Bye, Nishit’ and turned away, her braid flinging with the force.

‘No problem. I can invite Mithila, if you want.’

She felt the insane urge to flip him off. Only because he followed the previous statement with a ‘Break a leg, greenie,’ she let him off.

Two hours later when she stepped out of the building, her eyes scanned the crowd of vehicles and people. Finding no one, she started her bike listlessly. Her phone also did not boast of messages or calls from squad leaders.

That whole day, she fretted if she had offended or repulsed him with her outright denial. She had even mentioned Mithila. It’s not like he was asking her on a date. It would have been just a meal between two acquaintances. Two old classmates. Nothing wrong with that. It was the illicitness of her thoughts that ruined an innocent moment. He was being friendly and supportive in a challenging moment.

‘Maybe I will ask him out for lunch if I get selected for the teaching post.’

Not even an hour had passed since her resolution then her phone lit up with a congratulatory mail from the Sai Coaching Classes.