“Bahu to Beti” promotion

I seriously dont understand/dislike this “bahu se beti bangayi” accomplishment that tv shows show with such emotional/happy background music.

Why is being a bahu some kind of low position in a family that she needs to work extra hard to get promoted to a beti ? Is a bahu a 2nd class citizen in her family that she has to strive to upgrade from it?

And the requirements for the promotion are - listen to all nonsense that’s being flung at you and despite of that, keep being “good/polite/nice” to everyone. After decade(s) if the head of the family deems you are worthy, he/she/they will finally accept you as a legit member of the household?
Coz being a bahu means you’ll always be an outsider, no matter how much you do for the members. You’ll never get full acceptance like say a damad does?

Also why is it not asked from the bahu if she deems the other members acceptable? If she thinks her MIL has successfully become like a mother or her FIL has become a father to her? It’s just assumed that all in-laws should come first before bahu’s own family, automatically but the bahu should have to toil all her life to “prove” herself. Like wtf?

Don’t Dadi/Manish and others also want approval from Naira that they have succeeded in becoming like her real family? Or is that taken for granted?

And in the same vein, proclaiming in public that your one bahu has become beti 🥳whereas your 3 other bahus havent yet, will only fuel discrimination between them. Do we ever do that between any other members of the family? Like compare two damads publicly and say 1 is better/best than the other? No, coz it’s kinda disrespectful that you show your bias openly. But competition among bahus is totally fine, then when fights will happen in the house, blame can be shifted to these DILs.

You're absolutely right. This bullshit just stems from the typical regressive and backwards mentality that exists in patriarchal Indian society. Pushing this type of dialogue again and again is frankly damaging and dangerous. So much for nayi soch Star Plus. 🙄 I'm sick and tired of seeing the constant sexist crap they show on ITV, even in the 21st century. From the pati parmeshwar to the daughter being ghar ki parayi to this nonsense. 🤢🤢

Originally posted by: Sense9

I seriously dont understand/dislike this “bahu se beti bangayi” accomplishment that tv shows show with such emotional/happy background music.

Why is being a bahu some kind of low position in a family that she needs to work extra hard to get promoted to a beti ? Is a bahu a 2nd class citizen in her family that she has to strive to upgrade from it?

And the requirements for the promotion are - listen to all nonsense that’s being flung at you and despite of that, keep being “good/polite/nice” to everyone. After decade(s) if the head of the family deems you are worthy, he/she/they will finally accept you as a legit member of the household?
Coz being a bahu means you’ll always be an outsider, no matter how much you do for the members. You’ll never get full acceptance like say a damad does?

Also why is it not asked from the bahu if she deems the other members acceptable? If she thinks her MIL has successfully become like a mother or her FIL has become a father to her? It’s just assumed that all in-laws should come first before bahu’s own family, automatically but the bahu should have to toil all her life to “prove” herself. Like wtf?

Don’t Dadi/Manish and others also want approval from Naira that they have succeeded in becoming like her real family? Or is that taken for granted?

And in the same vein, proclaiming in public that your one bahu has become beti 🥳whereas your 3 other bahus havent yet, will only fuel discrimination between them. Do we ever do that between any other members of the family? Like compare two damads publicly and say 1 is better/best than the other? No, coz it’s kinda disrespectful that you show your bias openly. But competition among bahus is totally fine, then when fights will happen in the house, blame can be shifted to these DILs.

I said this another thread. Copying it here.

Totally agree. You spoke my mind. All that gayu wants is some affection for vatsal and vansh by the goenkas. She isn't interested in getting her share of property. Everyone only seems to care about kairav and akshu. Dadi holds pujas for bringing back Kaira from Mumbai. For once, she can be shown to have a puja for vansh's recovery. Today also, wouldn't it be nice if she said that naira made me understand that all daughter in laws need to be treated like daughters. She gave the coconut to naira and Keerthi only. Rest everyone, got a flower. Now isn't that behaviour wrong. Swarna gave up her own son for the sake of Kartik. But dadi still thinks of her like a bahu, not a beti. Manish had no answer to the questions raised by gayu. So he acted mahaan and divided the property. Gayi and chachi want acknowledgement and not property. Don't know when they will understand that.

Hahahaa!

With Akshara, 'bahu to beti' meant that Singhania's didn't treat their bahu's differently anymore. With time, they stopped holding their bahu's to a higher standard and started loving/understanding them as much as their own children. So when Akshara became a 'beti', Singhania's learnt to stop treating ALL following bahu's with the strictness that Akshara initially faced. Karishma & Keerti were treated with a lot of leniency & the same love as their husbands.

But with Naira & Daadi 😂 It was like Iron Man knighting Spiderman into the Avengers 😂 It's not about in-laws growing up anymore. It's about Naira being so mahaan that she was 'upgraded' over all other Goenka bahu's.

Dadi is disgusting. If she was giving bahu to beti promotions, then why not give it to all her bahus. Naira ne aisa kya kar diya that she gets special treatment. In fact she has stayed away the most from Goenka house. But people like Suwarna and Surekha spend a good part of their life looking after the Goenkas. And yet they are not good enough. This is precisely why I could never like Dadi. That woman shows partiality in every damn thing. And that is exactly what Gayu was talking about. Instead of correcting themselves, all of them blamed Gayu. That idiot Manish went ahead to divide the property and also blamed Gayu for that. People like Manish and Dadi should realize that some people value their self respect more than money.

Originally posted by: janecastle

People like Manish and Dadi should realize that some people value their self respect

Exactly. They should have shown that dadi and Manish realize that their actions affected gayu (even if it was unintentionally) and they apologized to her about it.

Originally posted by: DeepaBhatia

Exactly. They should have shown that dadi and Manish realize that their actions affected gayu (even if it was unintentionally) and they apologized to her about it.

No track is given a proper closure. Look at what happened to KeeSh divorce track. Now suddenly Gayu's concerns are all gone because mahan Naira did some puja for Vansh. It is pretty irritating to see everything revolving around Kaira and other people's POVs are ignored. And all the problems are solved with no head or tail. It is very unrealistic and the show is losing its charm because of that.

Originally posted by: DeepaBhatia

and they apologized to her about it.

Goenkas apologizing to anyone else other than Kaira is never going to happen. 😆

Originally posted by: Kabhi18

So much for nayi soch Star Plus. 🙄 I'm sick and tired of seeing the constant sexist crap they show on ITV, even in the 21st century. From the pati parmeshwar to the daughter being ghar ki parayi to this nonsense. 🤢🤢

ikr!

Adding to this was the - “wo meri beti nahi, beta hai” or “she is like my son” dialogue. It used to he very rampant sometime back in shows. I havent heard it since but that annoyed me too. As if a daughter can be worthy only if she gets to be called “a son.” Thankfully this dialogue has declined.

The pati parmeshwar phrase has gone away but the sentiment stays. In some shows very subtle but in some very evident.

Originally posted by: DeepaBhatia

Today also, wouldn't it be nice if she said that naira made me understand that all daughter in laws need to be treated like daughters. She gave the coconut to naira and Keerthi only. Rest everyone, got a flower. Now isn't that behaviour wrong. Swarna gave up her own son for the sake of Kartik. But dadi still thinks of her like a bahu, not beti,

Exactly! That would have been a much better dialogue and scene. (@bold)

They want all the DILs to jump through rings of fire to prove their worth but these Dadi and others will not even try to become a family/friendly to them. They’ll simply encourage negativity and competition between their DILs.