Virat OS: Contemplations

Hello everyone 

So I was just getting bored on this SaiRatless Sunday and only SaiRat was running in my mind... So I thought of writing this 

Plus, like many of us, I too wanted a closure to the night when Virat stopped our Sai from leaving the room ...so I was just thinking of writing something for that night... and here is the result.

It's a lot of rambling... when I started writing it just started flowing and I think I have gotten carried away .... I really don't know how this has turned out to be. ... I hope you will all bear with me.....Okay enough of my rambling now.

Enjoy 

Virat lay on his bed thinking about the happenings of his life. He turned himself on a side and slowly, gently picked up one pillow from the Sinhagad fort of pillows, and looked at the peacefully sleeping form of Sai. He smiled looking at her calm and innocent face as she slept. 

Today he had got to know how special this girl was, when she went alone to meet his senior. She had given her statement fearlessly to DIG sir, just to save his job. And when he thanked her, she had asked him about why he was thanking her. He was stunned listening to that for a moment. As if going alone to a senior police officer's office and telling the truth was no big deal for her. He was amazed at this girl's fearlessness and bravery. "Itna bhi koi bada kam nahi kar diya maine… sirf sach bola hai", he recalled her words and chuckled to himself. She was truly her father Kamal sir's true copy. Selfless, fearless and brave. In this world where people are most of the time afraid to say the truth, she had spoken the truth so clearly, without thinking about what that don Vitthal Mane would do if he got to know of her statement. But it was no big deal for her, because the truth was more important for her. And he really admired her for this. He was feeling very proud of her when his senior was praising her.  DIG sir said that he was very lucky to have got a wife like Sai, and remembered the joy he felt when DIG sir said, "Heere toh bohot mil jate hai, par Kohinoor sirf kisi kisi ko milta hai". He was so grateful to her, and will always be, for saving his job. 

He saw a small smile come upon her face while she slept. She might be watching a beautiful dream. He smiled looking at how beautiful she looks while sleeping. He wondered how his paths crossed with this great girl and she came in his life. He remembered the first time he saw her and went down the memory lane. The day when he was welcomed in Gadchiroli, and when she got the award for excellence for topping her 12th boards in the same function. "Main inke pair kyu chhooungi? Aap inke guru hai, ye mere guru thodi na hai?", she had told Kamal sir when he had asked her to welcome him and take his blessings by touching his feet. But she told her father directly that she won't touch his feet. "Ashirwad main sirf apne Aaba ka leti hu. Haan maala pehna kar inka swagat jarur karungi", she had said on his face. He chuckled at the memory. At that time he had thought she was a very rude and arrogant girl, but he was also amused and impressed by her straightforwardness. Then twice she tried to put the maala in his neck but both times his phone started ringing.. Finally when she ran out of patience, she had asked him directly, "Agar ho gaya ho toh, sir jhukayenge?". He was stunned as well as amused at the arrogance of this girl. But he still just bent down his head so she can put the garland in his neck. He looked at her sleeping form again and smiled at the memory. They had come a long way since then. 

He had seen her many shades since then. The girl who loved her father dearly, so much that she could do anything for him to be with her. He remembered how she had come to his quarter fearlessly demanding him to sign her father's VRS application. She had disliked him as much as she loved her father. Now that he thought about it, he knew why, because he had made her father postpone his VRS. He had postponed the happiness that she had been waiting for with his voluntary retirement. That was a major reason for her dislike towards him. Even he used to dislike her for her attitude and short temper. But then his views changed as he got to know more about her. 

She had been through a lot at such a young age. When Kamal sir had told him that, that son of a b**ch Jagtap had been molesting her ever since they got shifted there in Gadchiroli for 3 years now, he felt like he could just kill that b****rd with his own bare hands. But he was a police officer and he knew he could not take law into his own hands. So he had tried protecting Sai as best as he could. But when he had taken a leave for Samrat's wedding, Sai had gotten kidnapped by that rascal Jagtaap. Kamal sir hadn't told him about it till the very crucial moment. But when he got to know that Jagtap is going to marry Sai forcefully, Kamal sir informed him. He remembered his blood being boiled hearing that news. Now that he thought about it, his love Pakhi was getting married to his brother at that moment, but all he could think about was how Sai would be, and wishing that rascal wouldn't have done anything to her. He had driven to Gadchiroli as fast as he could leaving his brother's marriage halfway. The anxiety, worry and angst that he had experienced in that moment, he had not even felt when he found out that his love Pakhi was getting married to his brother. Why? Virat wondered. 

He closed his eyes and laid down straight on the bed and continued thinking. Why had he been so very uneasy about Sai getting kidnapped, than his brother's marriage to Pakhi? Why had he been dead worried for Sai's safety? Why was it more painful to think that Sai was unsafe, than losing his love?? Was it really just out of his duty? Or was there something else that he is not understanding? Sach me Sai ko kuch ho jane ka khayal itna dardnaak kyu tha us waqt? He thought. It was true he would have done the same for anybody being a police officer. But would he have been this disturbed and worried for them as he had felt for Sai? If he was being honest with himself, maybe not. He may not have been this affected by anyone else's kidnapping. But then this could be because he had got to know her a bit, she was the daughter of his Guru, and he felt somewhat responsible for her safety. Yes this might be it! 

But then he remembered the fury he had felt when he saw that b****rd Jagtaap seated beside Sai in the mandap and marrying her forcefully. He remembered the fire of anger that was literally coursing through his veins. He saw Jagtaap was going to fill Sai's maang, and that was it. He just barged into the mandap shooting each and every one of Jagtaap's men who came in his way and stood before Jagtaap. If it was for him, he would have killed that son of a b**ch then and there only, but he was bound by law. But later he had regretted not shooting Jagtaap (at least in the leg) as he ran off inside the Jungle by taking one of the inspectors on gunpoint. 

Finally when they rescued Sai, he was amazed at the strength of this girl. She was more engrossed in ordering his father to listen to his doctor due to his high BP, than being shocked at the incidents. Any other girl would have been traumatized by these kinds of happenings, but Sai was not only brave, she has a great mental strength. And she is also very upbeat and energetic. He remembered how he felt younger when he talked to her. She could make anyone get in the lighthearted mood, by her sense of humor and sarcasm. He recalled asking her "Kitne aadmi the?", after he had heard her mutter under her breath calling him "Gabbar". He chuckled at the memory. 

He also remembered asking her, "Tumne zindagi me sholay ke alawa aur koi film nahi dekhi? Kabhi Gabbar bana deti ho toh kabhi Basanti?", when she had called him Basanti over the video call. It was the first time he had video called her, when she was at the safe house and was worried to see tears in her eyes. He had immediately started asking if she was alright, if she was hurt, what had happened, and told her to give him 10 mins and he'll be there, before giving her any chance to reply. That's when she had called him Basanti, for asking questions continuously without letting her speak. He had been genuinely very concerned to see those tears in her eyes that day. Why? He still couldn't answer that question to himself. Maybe because I was responsible for her safety that time! He had smiled mentally after knowing that the tears in her eyes were due to cutting onions. Virat remembered being happy to know that she was enjoying kande pohe, while living in that safe house. But he knew she must have gotten bored and feeling lonely there. 

For the first he realized that she was feeling very lonely in that safe house, when she had accidentally dialed his number instead of Kamal sir's. "Aap kaise hai? Waha sab kaise hai? Aapne khana khaya? Aap meri chinta mat karo main yaha ekdam maje me hu.. Aur aap kam ka bhi jyada tension mat lena. Aap bas apna khayal rakhna okay!", listening to her words, even if they sounded weird coming from her, he had felt a sense of belonging for the first time. He had felt cared for, and a smile came on his face with that memory. But then he realised that something was not right, because she couldn't be so concerned about him. So he had asked her if she was alright, and what had happened to her. Considering that she was talking to her father, she had asked him why he sounded like Gabbar. Virat chuckled as he remembered replying to her, "Kyunki main Gabbar hi bol… Virat bol raha hu". She had told him that she accidentally dialled his number instead of her Aaba. He remembered being a bit disappointed at knowing that those caring words were not for him. He still didn't understand why he had joked with her, "I see, iska matlab mere baare me itna soch rahi ho, ki apne Aaba ki jagah mujhe phone laga rahi ho!!". Why had he said that to her? Was he hoping for her to think about him? Or was it just a comeback because of his disappointment over her concern not being for him? Maybe I was just being sarcastic with her as I usually become with her. It was true. He only becomes sarcastic with her. Because only she can bring out that side of him with her own sarcasm and quick wit… and he kind of likes to be that way with her. He remembered he had been a bit skeptical at her not giving him straightforward answers about how she was, but to be honest with himself he had enjoyed her sarcasm over, "the mosquitoes singing lovely songs and I am chasing them with claps" situation. 

However he had realized that she was feeling very lonely there. So he just disguised himself as a milkman and went to see her in the safe house. She had laughed out loud seeing him disguised as a milkman. But he had gotten very angry with her about her lighting all the lights of the house as if there is no danger outside. But he may have shouted too much as she had started crying. Honestly he had felt really sorry for shouting at her as soon as he saw her tears, but he didn't show it. He had told her he was just there to see how she was, when she asked him why he came there looking like a cartoon. "Sai, jab tumne wo call disconnect kiya na, toh pata nahi kyu… aisa laga jaise tumne hum sab se khud ko disconnect kar liya hai", he had told her that time. He had actually felt disconnected with her that time. But he felt even more sad after she had replied, "Mera aapse koi connection tha hi kab?". But he had ignored the feeling and gave her the home made food that Usha mavshi had made for her. When she ate that food with childlike excitement and happiness, he felt really happy. He remembered the smile that had come on his face at that moment. It had always been a joy to watch her happy. True! There was no connection between them. Then why did he feel bad when she stated that? And why does he always feel restless, whenever he feels her getting disconnected from him?? 

He remembered how bad he felt when she had blamed him for her father’s death because Kamal sir took a bullet to save him. Those few days were the worst in Sai and his life, after they lost Kamal sir. She was broken by the loss of the only person she had in her life. And she considered him responsible for his death. Somewhere she was right, he could have stopped Kamal sir from coming on the mission. He could have ordered him strictly to not come on the mission, but he just gave in on Kamal sir’s insistence. So he understood why she considered him responsible for her father’s death. Her dislike had turned into hatred towards him, and it was getting unbearable for him. That is why he had decided to leave from Gadchiroli early, his temporary posting had little to do with it. 

But his heart had almost stopped for a minute when Usha Mavshi had called him to inform that Sai had attempted suicide by cutting her wrist. He remember shouting on constable Tambe who was driving him to drive faster towards Sai’s home. Each second from him reaching to her home to taking her to the hospital, he had felt like his heart was constricting. It was the worst feeling to see her almost slipping away towards death. He had felt helpless, guilty, and worried as hell. So when the doctor had told them that Sai will need blood and her blood group was AB-ve, he had offered to take his blood. He had felt really anxious the whole time he had seen her lying on that hospital bed. When she finally gained consciousness, he had tried his best to console her and remind her of the dream her father had seen for her to become a doctor. She had calmed down considerably and promised that she won’t try to do this again. However, she had still insisted on him to go to Nagpur and leave her alone. “Itni nafrat karti ho mujhse, ki meri shakal bhi dekhna nahi chahti?”, he had asked her dejectedly. He still didn’t understand why her indifference affected him? Why did it matter for him so much if she was around or not?

Take yesterday’s night for example. He was sleepless yesterday when she had slept in Usha mavshi’s room. He had felt her absence in the room and he was pacing the room thinking why. Was it just because he had gotten used to her presence? Or was it because he consider himself responsible for her? Or had he started to feel something for her? But then why had he always felt a connection with her? Why had he always felt protective of her? Why had he always felt disappointed when she showed her dislike towards him? Why did it hurt him to know that she hated him? Why did he decided to marry her under pressure, when he could have taken her responsibility in any other way? Was what everyone said right? Was Baba right in saying that he married her because he wanted to?? Does he really feel something for Sai? And if yes, what is it? Is it attraction? Is it just a habit of her? Or is it lov….? No! If it is, what is it that he felt for Pakhi? Maybe he was just overthinking? He thought.

Just then he felt a thump in the pillow wall beside him. He raised himself on one hand to see his wife's hand landed on the pillow. He sat up on his side and saw a strand of hair that came on her face. It was blocking his view of her beautiful innocent face. He forwarded his hand and gently put the lock of hair behind her ear. He saw a small smile playing on her face, and felt a warmth of joy in his heart. Just then his eyes fell on the mangalsutra in her neck. The mangalsutra of his name. He knew this marriage was just temporary for both of them, but still, till that time she is his wife. He had promised to take care of her and protect her, and he fully intends to keep his promise. Not just because of his farz, but because he wants to, he needs to. 

Tonight when he had seen the disappointed expression on her face when he offered her his friendship, the lone tear that she wiped, he felt really sad. Because he was the reason for that tear. And when she started walking away to leave their room, he felt as if something important of his existance was going away from him. He just couldn't let her leave this room so he held her hand to stop her. "Aaj ke baad main kabhi is kamre se jane ke liye nahi kahunga… aur na jane dunga", he smiled remembering his own words and the fact that she stayed trusting him. He still didn't know who she was to him, but there was definitely something that connects them. Is Aayi right when she says that Sai is the one for me? I don't know what we are for each other yet Sai, but I promise I will always be there for you… I will always support you in your career and your dreams. I will always take care of you. He then pulled the blanket up and covered her with it. 

'Good night Sai', he whispered with a smile and laid down on his side to let sleep claim him.

___________________________________________________________________________________

How was it?🤔

I am eager to know your opinions and comments on this... Please let me know what you think...

I am open to taarif😳 as well as gaaliyan 😡

P.S.: Please ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes... I have not proof read it 

Love 🤗

Niki