Warning: Loooooooonnnnnggggg post ahead.
I’ve been reading many posts on the forum and even making posts intermittently. Now that I have finally caught up on all the episodes till date, I've jotted down a few -- ok, not a few, a LOT -- of thoughts below. Here's to hoping that I don’t bore you and can make a point that hasn't already been mentioned on the forum. Let me just mention that Marathi is such a beautiful language! I don't understand a word but I love listening to the phrases used in the show. So, without further delay, let’s dive in!
Bhavani Chavan
Bhavani Kaku is such a problematic and abusive character to be around. She has to put down every single person, be it Devyani, Karishma, or Ashwini (and now even Sai). She can't even love her own daughter but stakes a claim on Virat in front of Ashwini. I wonder why would she have to compete with Ashwini for Virat's affection? There is a different place for a mother and for an aunt in a son’s life. And why would she abuse her own daughter Devyani, but hype her love for Virat? This seems to be her way of filling a void in her life for not having a "normal" child, and a son at that. She has to put down Ashwini every time to prove that she comes first in Virat's life. But even then, her love is not unconditional. She may dote on Virat, but the moment he took a decision to marry a girl that was not approved by the family, Bhavani was very displeased. On the other hand, Ashwini is very confident in her son's love for her and doesn’t need to compete. After all, a mother is a mother; she loves unconditionally. She doesn’t expect anything in return for what she does for her children. Ashwini is not only satisfied, but also proud, to have a place in her son’s heart, while Bhavani is more concerned with how high her position is in Virat’s life.
She degrades Ashwini, Sai, and Karishma for being from a "chota ghar." They say that home is where the heart is, and the heart is another word for mind. Now ironically, Bhavani herself has the narrowest mindset and the smallest heart. So Bhavani Chavan, might I ask, who is really from a "chota ghar?"
Bhavani may be the matriarch as she tries to keep a firm grip on every member of her family, but deep down, she is not as confident and self-assured as she pretends to be. In fact, she is the emotionally weakest and most insecure. Of what you ask? I think that needs more backstory.
Ashwini Chavan
Ashwini not only loves her own son, but also is a true mother to Devyani. She is the one with the biggest heart and broadest mind. Ironic, isn’t it? The supposed matriarch in the house hasn’t been able to love even one person selflessly, but the woman being put down for years has managed to shower love on so many people. This woman deserves more credit than she gets.👏 What I love about her characterization is that she isn't a conventional doormat mother figure of Indian serials. She has her own ways of dealing with and defying Bhavani and Ninad either with words or with actions.
Ninad Chavan
Now, we all know of the Ninad who lives under the shadow of his vahini and the Ninad who constantly puts down his wife. But I’d like to propose that this all stems from his low self-esteem. Of course, this is no excuse for his abuse of Ashwini. All I’m suggesting is that like many abusers, he also seems to have a history of low self-worth which he projects onto those weaker than him. The loss of his fellow compadre who died while saving him during combat hit his confidence to the point that he left the military early. This loss has not left him and probably never will. He not only lives in his vahini’s shadow but his conscience still lurks in the shadows of his guilt and low self-worth. How interesting is it that Virat has found himself in the same situation, where a fellow compadre took a bullet for him as well? Even Virat is being driven by guilt and even he can’t process his emotions like Ninad. But the difference lies in the fact that Virat is sensible enough not to project his own emotions on someone else. It will be interesting to see the parallels and differences between Ninad and his son as Virat deals with his guilt and moves on to become emotionally healthy.
That brings me to another parallel between the two generations: “Chavan khaandaan’s guzra hua kal” that is constantly being brought up by Ashwini. I am almost certain that there is some history related to Ashwini, Ninad, and Bhavani. Ninad explicitly gives more importance to Bhavani over his own wife, and after finding out about Virat and Pakhi, Ashwini is concerned about history repeating itself. She doesn't want what happened with her to happen to her daughter-in-law. Of course, the difference between the two generations will be brought out by Virat and Sai. Virat, as I said, knows not to project his unhealthy emotions on anyone else unlike Ninad. Sai, unlike Ashwini, is not going to take crap from anyone, regardless of their age or authority.
Shivani Chavan
Shivani is also an amazing character. She is completely unapologetic of her life choices and lives life on her own terms even though she lives under the nose of such a person like Bhavani. She's been divorced twice and Bhavani tries to shame her for it but Shivani owns up to her life choices and is happy the way she is.
All in all, the Chavans are a rich family with a shiny exterior but a shallow interior. The world might see them as a proud and wealthy family, but only the insiders know how happy this family really is. Not only the family as a whole, but even the individual characters are two-faced. Those who are, have managed to adjust to the status quo without challenging the authority. Ninad suffers from low self-esteem on the inside, but projects a different image outside. Omi and Sonali disapprove of Bhavani’s taunts to their son and daughter-in-law on the inside, but are quick to stay in her good books on the outside. Pakhi displays an image of being an ideal quiet bahu, but none of us are unaware of her real intentions. On the other hand, there are some people who display themselves exactly as they are. Interestingly, these people are the cause of conflict. Ashwini has not shied away from voicing the neglect and abuse she has faced even after many years, which Ninad and Bhavani find tiresome. Shivani has been unapologetic about her life choices, which Bhavani disapproves of. And of course, our dearest Sai has been saying exactly what she thinks and has been challenging the status quo by creating conflict. Virat belongs somewhere in the middle. He has hidden some stuff (namely his Yoga camp affair), but his heart is in the right place (not wanting to hurt the family). Maybe that's why he's the protagonist, not the hero.
Patralekha (Pakhi) Mohitepatil
Pakhi is another Chavan in the making. She is one face on the outside (quiet, timid) and another on the inside (manipulative). Uski aur Bhavani ki toh jamegi hi na.
In an earlier reply to a post, I mentioned how Pakhi’s driving force is the craving of a relationship with Virat rather than any actual love. She might think she is in love with Virat, but it is actually the “almost” and “what-if” -- in essence, the positive-incentive value -- of a potential relationship that she is holding onto. This is what drives the cycle of addiction; craving is a much more powerful feeling than real pleasure or enjoyment. Pakhi thinks that instead of riding in two boats, she has one foot in one boat (Samrat) and one foot on the shore (Virat), because her relationship with Virat is strong enough to give her foothold. But what she fails to recognize is that the shore’s mud itself (their two-day love) is not firm enough to keep her standing.
Normal people move on from unfulfilled or failed relationships (in this case a “crush”) to focus on other priorities like studies, career, or family. Virat focused on his work in Gadchiroli and his police duty to catch Jagtap. Unfortunately, Pakhi does not have any other part of her life where she can redirect her energies. She does not have a job (as far as I know), nor has she focused on her new relationships or responsibilities as a married woman. The only thing in her life that she has hung onto is Virat. All her life, she has gotten everything she has wanted, fueled by her overly lenient parents and their permissive parenting style (I can’t talk much about them or I’ll go nuts). Even as an adult, she is adamant at getting what she wants, be it with wrong ways, by staking a claim on someone on whom she has no right and expecting answers from someone who is not at all obligated to her.
Pakhi is on a self-destructive path. She may be thinking of each step she takes but she fails to comprehend the big picture. She didn't think about Samrat’s feelings when she decided to marry him before Virat came into the picture. Now, she isn’t thinking of Virat by holding him to a promise that keeps him alone and miserable for the rest of his life. Yes, the promise itself was Virat’s fault, but I mention this in light of Pakhi’s so-called love for him. She keeps reminding Virat of his vaada to be his best friend, but has she kept her end of the bargain? Neither is she faithfully married to Samrat, nor has she ever been a friend to Virat, much less a good one. She expects him to make her his priority without considering that he might have other things on his plate (e.g. in Gadchiroli, Virat was taking care of Kamal/Sai's safety and the terrors of Jagtap, but she needed her "best friend" to deal with the mess she created herself).
Virat Chavan
Like many people on this forum, I seem to have a love-hate relationship with Virat. But you have to give credit where credit is due. He is usually calm, gentle, and caring. He is patient as seen in the way he dealt with Sai when he first arrived in Gadchiroli and in the way he deals with Bhavani when she's being the cruel woman she is (jab uske muh se phool jadhte hai). He even started admiring Sai after getting to know her despite not especially liking her. He is observant and keenly evaluates the situation before making a move. Except when it comes to Pakhi though. Hopefully he sees through her ruse as her mask falls day by day. He has been graciously dealing with Sai's anger ever since he met her. He isn't fearlessly blunt and upfront (like Sai) but knows how to tactfully diffuse tense situations in that mad house of his, especially when it comes to protecting Sai or Ashwini from the taunts of his family. He is not the confrontational kind (like Sai); he is more the people pleaser who just wants to maintain peace in his family while still trying to ensure his wife and mother don't get insulted. He deals with Bhavani and Ninad's hurtful statements by saying “please” or simply diverting the conversation. He also hasn't been blunt with Pakhi regarding the boundaries necessary between them, but instead sends mixed signals in his effort to be gentle and cautious. This can be attributed to the way he was raised. He has been brought up to maintain the status quo and not oppose his elders. He has grown up with the entire Chavan khandaan's expectations on him of being the "proper" son of the family. This explains why he doesn’t stand up to abuse overtly. It is not easy especially when the people in that position have been your parental figures all your life, but Virat still tries in his own way to maintain balance and peace.
At work though, he is completely different. He is a badass cop, always one step ahead of the criminals he is after (seen in his multiple encounters with Jagtap and Vitthal). It's almost as if his work is his respite from family life. Maybe he doesn't consciously acknowledge that but it does seem like it. After all, his work in Gadchiroli is what helped him divert his mind from SamKhi wedding and start moving on.
His biggest mistake was that he made that promise to Pakhi in an emotional moment but after that, in many instances, he has tried to get her to move on by saying she'd definitely fall in love with Samrat and find a great husband, lover, and friend in him. Even when Pakhi asked him on the terrace "meri tumhari zindagi mein kya jagah hai," he replied "wohi jagah hai jo ek dost ki hoti hai." But Pakhi's constant interference, manipulation, and reminders of his promise (made as a lapse of judgement) has been making him feel guilty and unable to move on. However, he doesn’t seem to be longing for Pakhi in any way. Even in the SaiRat post wedding rituals, while Pakhi's expressions seem to be of pining, Virat doesn't give me that vibe. It's more guilt at the situation life has put him and Sai into and caution at how to proceed. He seems to be gauging the reactions of his family members which includes Pakhi. Plus, most of his expressions are of utter disgust and exasperation at some of the mean things his family (including Pakhi) says to Sai.
It looks like the driving force for Virat is guilt, for both Pakhi and Sai. Guilt of breaking a promise to Pakhi and guilt of killing Sai's father (latter is more serious and also not his fault, but he has seemed to internalize that guilt).
I’d like to stop here and acknowledge my very clear and visible bias for Virat. This man has done many-a-blunders but I’m still giving him the benefit of doubt and finding different interpretations of his actions. There are two reasons for this. First of all, he is the male lead and I am rooting for his relationship with Sai. Maybe if he were a side character, I’d be much harsher in my criticism for him. Secondly, he is played by an actor who really brings his turmoil to life -- Neil Bhatt. Kudos to him!
Sai Joshi
I abso-freakin-lutely love the character of Sai! Such a bold, badass, and amazing woman! I haven't seen anyone like her on ITV. Sai is the perfect balance between frankness and kindness. She is intelligent and ready to spring into action in a high stress emergency situation (when her Aba needed to get to surgery and needed blood). What she lacked in my opinion was some tact which she is now learning. She is used to blasting anyone that invoked her anger without mincing her words. Now, she is learning to conserve her energy for only situations that warrant it and speak only when necessary (an art she can learn from Virat). E.g., she chose to remain graciously silent and conserve her self-worth in the midst of accusations being thrown by the Chavan family. Although she also blurted out why Pakhi was really leaving yesterday which was unnecessary. Oh well, sikhte sikhte seekh jaayegi. The best quality of hers though is her absolute refusal to be manipulated or guilt-tripped or gaslighted. Female leads have been shown to stand up to physical abuse and overt violence, but they rarely can recognize and deal with subtle emotional abuse. Sai is unlike any such female lead. She will not fall prey to anyone's buillshit, be it Bhavani's or Pakhi's. She is not a people-pleaser (which she needs to teach Virat to stop being), but she will go to any length out of love and selflessness for anyone she lets into her heart.
I still don't understand why Virat and Sai needed to get married to take care of Sai. There were a thousand different ways he could have taken her responsibility. Virat had the right ideas before the villagers and Usha Maushi forced him to marry Sai. I mean, what would they have suggested if Virat were already married? How then would he have taken Sai's responsibility? And weren't there any arrangements in place in the police department for the family members of people who died on the force, like life insurance or anything? How was Sai going to pay for her college in the first place since her Aba was retiring? Even if they did have to get married couldn't they at least give Sai a few weeks or days to grieve and get a handle on herself? Soooo many questions. But chalo, chodo jaane do. After all, story ka premise hi yahi tha to jaise bhi fulfill to karna hi tha na.
I really hope they focus on Sai's medical career and her journey of becoming a doctor. The story of a woman fulfilling her dreams after getting married is very rare in not only ITV but also in movies and mainstream web content. And by that I don't mean that Sai should be handling both the house and her career and trying to find a balance. There are many people in the house for that. Pakhi certainly has no other job, and neither do the rest of the women. It looks like most of the upper generation women have chosen a life of homemaking (nothing wrong with it), so Sai doesn't need to be responsible for the household. Sai should give her first priority to her career with unwavering support from her husband. That would be a treat to watch. Tbh, I could care less about Virat's help around the household. As long as he isn't a man-child (asking to be served and leaving his plate on the table), I don't really care about seeing him doing household chores. He has a job which probably requires a lot of his time. Both Sai and Virat's lives' focus should be their career, not the household. But if Sai does get involved in domestic chores, then Virat should too. I want to see some equality between the two regarding work around the hosue. And I only want them to become a true couple once Sai is a doctor and is independent. There has already been a post on this: they need to be equals in every sense before they become true husband-wife. She should also keep her name as Dr. Sai Joshi, as many people have mentioned on the forum. I am hopeful of this because even after getting married, Sai has been referring to herself as Sai Joshi (e.g. when she met the DIG).
Kamal Joshi
Kamal's whole thing (slogan/motto) was to keep duty and emotions separate. But no one can practically do that, can they? Not even Kamal sir himself. He kept getting involved in the Jagtap case as a father and not a police officer. In the last few moments of his life, he went to duel with Jagtap out of rage that was fueled by his love for his daughter. Virat has learned this lesson of keeping emotions and duty separate from Kamal, but what he really needs to learn is balance. He cannot keep heart and mind separate (no one can), but he can (and should) find a balance.
Side note: Gadchiroli was such a positive place with Sai, Virat, Kamal, and Usha. In some alternate universe, it would make such an amazing storyline if Virat wasn’t part of the messed up Chavan family and didn’t have the Pakhi baggage. They all could end up as a happy family in Gadchiroli without the negativity of the Chavans.
Samrat Salunkhe
I felt so bad for Samrat. It's so saddening that he got stuck with a woman like Pakhi. And also that no one is actively searching for him, especially Virat. I just pretend that Virat is keeping up to date on military websites or on an account of the military on social media. In one episode they mentioned that Ninad was in regular contact with Brigadier Sood. Plus they keep mentioning that they’re hopeful for his return. I'll just make peace with that. I mean, they can't all go to Ladakh and look for him, right?
Please bring Samrat back already. I want the Jiva-Shiva jodi back together and I want to see progress in their relationship. I want to see Samrat confront Virat, Virat realize the magnitude of his folly, and see them resolve their issues. They were one of the best, most fun relationships of the show (apart from Sai and her Aba). When he left, he didn't confront Pakhi or Virat which was understandable. How often do we avoid an inevitable conversation with a loved one when we know that the outcome would be ugly? Samrat just left to escape the betrayal he was served and the nasty situation that emerged for some peace of mind. But when he returns, I want to see an eventual confrontation between him and Pakhi as well, and for Samrat to get closure. Idk how I want their relationship to progress though. One part of me wants to see Samrat happy and in love but another part tells me that he deserves better than Pakhi. What I do know is that I really wish Pakhi doesn't turn into an OTT evil vamp. She needs proper redemption and deserves to move on. I wouldn't mind her getting a happy future with Samrat. Although I would hope for Pakhi to fall for Samrat first and realize that this is true love.
On a lighter note, Samrat is just as (if not more) good looking than Virat. If Pakhi fell in "love" with Virat in two days, the girl just needs to give Samrat four days. She'll be head over heels in love.
SaiRat Equation
First of all, SaiRat's banter is so cute! Their growing understanding and their changing feelings now is also a treat to watch. I love how their relationship wasn’t romantically forced on the viewers. I mean, their wedding was forced (by the villagers), but other than that, they’ve had a very natural progression. From fights and disagreements to understanding and respect. I can’t wait to see how the journey goes from here.
What SaiRat share is so much deeper and more special than what Virat ever had with Pakhi. I mean, the eye locks, the head nods, silent communication, their expressions, and the understanding they've nurtured after going through so much together. And even Pakhi knows this, which has scared her.
Both SaiRat have quite opposite natures which complement each other. While Virat is quiet and mellow, Sai is outspoken, lively, and at times even explosive. Both their natures can be attributed to their upbringing. Virat grew up with the burden of carrying on the family legacy that didn't let him express genuine (but deemed inappropriate) emotions, while Sai was brought up with a father who acknowledged her every emotion but also taught her right from wrong either by explaining or by scolding when necessary. The former has learned to remain a quiet and composed man who keeps his emotions bottled up, while the latter is a free bird in the sky who flies where she pleases. Like in many marriages, Sai and Virat will come together and bring their opposite attitudes to the middle. Virat will learn to live freely and loosen up a little while also learning how to express his emotions (he is already starting to), while Sai will mellow down and learn to pick her battles instead to fight them all. They will come together and change each other for the better (knowingly or unknowingly). Virat will learn to fly carelessly in the open skies, while Sai will find an anchor that ties her to the ground. Together, Sai and Virat will become SaiRat -- wild and free.
Side note: I think Sai will also bring some cheer and chirpiness to the Chavan Nivas (or as I’ve seen you guys say, Chakram Nivas). Samrat was the light of the house and with him gone, the house is just too depressing and frustrating. Another reason why Samrat needs to return. Him and Sai together would bring life to the otherwise lifeless and hollow Chavan Nivas.
Now coming to SaiRat’s anger: Sai was infuriated at Virat after her Aba’s death and Virat was frustrated at Sai after his career was on the line. First of all, it was so refreshing to see a FL showing her anger and emotions for once. This is a grief that will never not hurt Sai and her feelings and way of expressing them are justified in that context. In the best case scenario, she should apologize after the fact, but then again, it was unbelievable trauma she went through. While I haven't gone through such pain, I can imagine that it must have been unbearable for her. They say that you are likely to unload even the most disgusting emotions on someone who is close to you. I believe this is both true and false. You cannot use someone you love as your punching bag because their patience will ultimately wear thin and could result in damage that can’t be fixed. But there is also some truth in the fact that you can only be yourself and process your ugliest emotions and deepest trauma with someone you trust and are close to. Although Sai is in no way that close to Virat yet, I believe this began their relationship. Sai had no inhibitions in unloading all her rage and grief on Virat after her Aba’s death. This laid the foundation for her to be as open as she possibly could be in front of him. The same goes for Virat. He can say the ugliest things to Sai (like when he almost lost his job) which lays the foundation for him to be just as open and vulnerable in front of her. If you have noticed, he never shows any emotions in front of anyone in his family, not even Pakhi. I don't blame him though; there is no room in that family to be emotionally vulnerable. They only care of his dutiful, responsible image. But he has opened up about his feelings in front of Sai, albeit involuntarily. Their journey is beginning by sharing the ugly uncomfortable emotions, but as they grow closer, they will one day rejoice in sharing the truest form of love and joy there is.
I so very badly want to see Virat fall for Sai first and pine for her. It looks like Sai is softening more than Virat and she falls in love first in other versions, but in this one I really badly want to see Virat fall first. It would be some kind of redemption for him for all the shit Sai is having to go through because of him and his family.
SaiRat vs Virat-Pakhi Equation (I cannot get myself to call them VirKhi, sorry. Maybe we can call them PaRat, for a parrot that can only repeat words like vadaa, mature, and best friend without knowing it’s real meaning)
I like to think of SaiRat’s relationship as passionate: both have been emotionally vulnerable in front of each other and subconsciously do not shy away from expressing even the ugly emotions. On the other hand, Pakhi-Virat never developed any such connection. It was a mere crush in my opinion. At least on Virat’s side. Unfortunately, Pakhi has held onto it and turned it into an obsession, a “junoon” which is going to end up burning her.
Someone already mentioned this on the forum but I’d like to reiterate it. When the time came to choose between his family and Pakhi, Virat clearly chose his family. Had he really loved her, wouldn’t he fight for her? But after getting married to Sai, he has been supporting her and even going against his family pretty much every step of the way. I know they’re not in love yet, but this has to count for something.
The Perplexed Puzzle of Promises
For Virat, his promise is a “patthar ki lakeer” that can't be broken; it's part of his duty. And I get where he's coming from. Fulfilling promises seems like a noble thing at face value, right? But the thing is, promises are made in a particular context, and if the situation changes then the promise can and should be changed (or even broken). Ultimately, the end purpose of a promise is the greater good. Let’s take a look at the Mahabharat for this. Bhishma Pitamah, Karna, Dronacharya all held on to promises of allegiance to the Kauravas, which according to them, was the right thing to do. But when situations changed, when the greater good of the people of Hastinapur lied in being ruled by the Pandavas, fulfilling their allegiance to the Kauravas became a personal goal (a way to fill their own sense of duty) rather than the morally right thing to do for Hastinapur's people's future. This vaada that Virat has given Pakhi is along the same lines and needs to be properly addressed at some point, preferably by a conversation between Virat and Pakhi and maybe even Samrat. Fulfilling this utterly nonsensical promise to Pakhi is doing no good to anyone, other than filling some void in Virat's misplaced sense of duty and sacrifice. Breaking this promise is the ideal thing for all four parties involved -- Sai, Virat, Samrat, and Pakhi. Pakhi needs to move on from her obsession, Virat needs to get rid of the “leftover feelings” he has, and Sai and Samrat deserve the proper respect as their spouses. The greater good of these four trumps the fulfillment of some promise. And Virat needs to understand this and make Pakhi understand as well.
To end my incessant blabber, let me come back to the title song of the show: Ghum Hai Kisi Ke Pyaar Mein. Pakhi and Virat developed an attraction but lost their way in life and their peace of mind because of it. Lekin jab Sai aur Virat ghum honge pyaar mein, toh shaayad usi pyaar mein ghum hokar woh khud ko dhund lenge.
Last but not the least, a huge shout out to all the forumwasis who make such incredible, deep, and meaningful analyses about the characters and their emotions. I love reading the different interpretations and I often find myself going back to watch an episode after reading a different perspective on a scene. This engaging forum is just as much reason for me to get hooked to GHKKPM as the show itself. Can’t wait to be a part of this group! If you have managed to make it to the end of my very long post, then let me know what you think.
Love,
Aditii ❤️
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