Hello hello everyone
How are you all?
I am so excited to share with you this OS. I have been workingon this for the last three days. Naina helped me in conceptualize this. This one is dedicated to my jaan Vaishali. I really hope you all enjoy this read. This starts when Veer is extremely upset with Bani because she left him alone at the naag mandir. Isme veer par kisi purple light ka asar nahi hai. He is normal veer. 
Veer was wearing his wrist watch when he saw Bani's reflection in the dressing table mirror. She was standing beside him. Trying topin the pallu of her saree. She looked at him. Her eyes lined with kohl. He kept looking at her reflection. He noticed that she was wearing the Chandbali earrings that he got for her last week. Kundan and pearls studded in gold, he got them hand crafted specially for her.
"Earrings achhi lag rahi hai?" Bani asked in asoft tone hesitantly. He had not spoken to her since they got beck from the temple. "Main wahi khade khade tumhara wait kar raha thha Bani, dekha maine tum kaise mujhe chhod ke chali aai." His words resonated in her mind. He is upset with her.
Veer still just chose to look at her reflection. Good? She was looking gorgeous. Not just those earrings, also her lips, ruby red and her saree, a humble shade of white.
"Veeranshu kuch toh kaho. " Bani pleaded desperate to have a conversation with him.
"Sangeet ki teiyyariyaan karni hai. Bohot kaam hai mujhe. I am busy." Saying so he concentrated on spraying his cologne,almost ready to leave.
"Jaanti hu maine tumhara dil dukhaya hai. Jab tak naaraaz reh sakte ho raho. Agar tum tum ho toh main bhi main hoon. Tumhe manaakar hi rahungi." Bani murmured to herself
Veer was about to open the door and leave when he heard music.
'Woh hai zara
Khafa khafa
Toh nain yoon churaaye hai
Ke ho oo...'
She pointed towards him and moved her body delicately to the rhythm. Her lips sweetly humming the lyrics. Her eyes conveyed a story, an apology. She embraced the music and beautifully moved to the beat. Her movements flowed with a dazzling grace that took his breathe away. He looked away momentarily before looking at her again when she looked into his eyes.Bani unleashed her emotions through her slow dance movements. Poetic. It was obvious that she wants him to forgive her but can he not just take some time for himself? Is it too much to ask? Does she not realize how much she hurt him when she left him alone at the naag mandir? Can she not confide in him about anything that is troubling her? She knows he has always been and he will always be there for her. One moment she tearfully poured her heart out in his arms andin the other she just forgot him. Is he not trust worthy enough? And why just why does she have to behave with Jay the way she does?
"Please maaf kar do Veeranshu. I promise phir kabhi aisa nahi karungi." She took his hand in hers. He understood, given another moment she would cry.
Veer knows her. She is his wife. Ardhangini. He is able to connect to a part of her others never feel. A wounded child. He can see through her. He has seen a part of her soul she never wants anybody to know. An emotionally scarred young woman. He has touched her and felt all her feelings,beautiful and raw. For those intimate moments she becomes more real than the blood in his own veins, and he can feel her like the beating of his own heart.The bond they forged was still molten when she stepped away, too nascent to resist her urge to hide once more. To not express how she really feels. He called for her, held out his hands and let his face become wet with untold tears; but she would not or could not return to his love. He simply does not understand. Can she tell him that he matters in her life, that this marriage matters to her. Or is he counting on empty expectations?
"Kya tumhare liye mujhe bhulna, mujhe chhodkar jana aasaan hai Bani?" Veer asked her honestly. He wiped the single tear that rolled down her cheek as he took back his hand out of her hold. He paused the song on her phone and left the room.
Regret and guilt washed over her like long slow waves. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down her spine. What has she done? How did she manage to hurt him so much when he had always been gentle and kind to her. How she longed to go back and take a different path, some different decisions but now that was impossible. There was no way back. She cannot change anything that has already happened but she can and she will make efforts to make it upto him for the rest of her life.
~~~
"Yeh lijiye chachi." Bani kept a mug of coffee infront of her. Chachi's expressions changed from bad to worse looking at the mug. She was already so frustrated and now Bani got her coffee.
"Tujhe lagta hai coffee piyungi main?" Chachi sounded so annoyed. Bani was confused.
"Yaad nahi hai, abhi herbal tea peeti hu main."Chachi actually screamed and Bani recalled that Chachi was dieting.
"Sorry Chachi, main bhool gayi thhi... Abhi herbal teale aati hu." Bani said politely.
"Deviji aap kaam ki saari baatein bhool hi jaayien."Chachi taunted sarcastically. Bani understood that Chachi was stressed because of something so she just tried to ignore what she said and turned to get her a cup of tea.
"Aunty ji, koi bhi Bani se iss tareeke se baat nahi kar sakta." Veer interrupted Chachi's taunts. Bani turned listening to his voice.
"Woh daamadji woh toh main... " Chachi was so embarrassed.
"Agar aapko kuch bhi chahiye toh kisi servant se keh dijiye ya khud jaakar le lijiye." Veer said and left.
"Veer tum bhi coffee piyoge?" Bani followed him after giving coffee mugs to Tapish and Daksh.
"Nahi chahiye." Veer did not pay attention to Bani after saying that. He went ahead to smack Pinky's head because his specimen of a brother was lighting and playing with matchsticks on the dining table.
"Chai banadu adrak waali?" Bani pat on his shoulder from behind.
"No" He just gave a one worded answer.
"Orange juice?" Bani tried again taking baby steps behind him.
"Nahi" He walked away. No expressions on his face.
"Rum, Vodka, Scotch, Whiskey?!?!" She extended her arm to stop him and cutely blinked her eyes. "Maybe tumhaari favorite drinks peekar tumhe better feel ho?"
"Kar kya rahi ho Bani?" Veer was exasperated.
"Agar tumhaare dimaag ka taapmaan badha hua hai toh barf wala pani lekar aati hu." Bani giggled.
"You don't have to bother."
"Theek hai Veeranshu, main samajh gayi ke tumhe kuch nahi chahiye par aisi bhi kya narazgi. Kam se kam mujhse baat toh karo. Kuch toh bolo." Bani pleaded.
"Samajh toh main tumhe nahi paa raha hoon Bani.Tumhaare dil mein kuch hai, aankhon mein kuch aur zubaan pe kuch aur. Kehti kuch ho, karti kuch ho. Mujhe tumse jab jo kehna hota hai main saaf dil se bata deta hoon. Tum nahi keh paati. Please excuse me Bani, main thaka hua hu. Dil pe chot khaya hua hu. Mujhe tumse abhi baat nahi karni." Veer explained and walked away.
~~~
The darkness of the night was special. It only wanted the stars to burn a little brighter.
"Ya toh tum mere andhere mein chamkogi ya main tumhaare ujaale mein." She reminisced Veer's words.
The black of the night was warm and comforting. It chose to embrace Bani no matter what. It soothed her with its calmness. Within its safety, she could feel her own soul all the more clearly. She could feel that innocent inborn spark of romantic love.
She looked at the box in her hands and opened it carefully.Fireflies flew out of the box. Bani was so excited. She smiled like a child looking at them.
"Bani Didiiiiiiiiii." One of the fireflies rushed to her.
"Hi Jhilmil, kaisi ho? Mere ek baar kehne pe tu apne doston ko lekar aayi mere saath... Thank you so much."
"Arre didi... Thank you mat bolo... Aap humse help maango aur hum naa aaye, aisa ho sakta hai kya bhala?" She flew around her cheerfully.
"Woh aa rahe hai... Dekho jeeju aa rahe hai."Another firefly Timtim was so excited.
"Bani Didi, Jeeju bohot zyada handsome hai. Extraaaaaa handsome. Hayeeeee." Timtim teased her.
"Pata hai mujhe." Bani blushed.
Veer came running to the terrace like a mad man the very moment when Daksh told him that Bani had hurt herself. He rushed towards her and gripped her arms. Panic written all over his face. Bani smiled emotionally seeing his concern.
"Kaha chot lagi hai? Dard ho raha hai? Dhyaan rakhna chahiye na Bani. Don't worry theek ho jaaega. Doctor ko bulaaye? Talk to me Bani, what exactly happened? Kaha chot lagi hai Bani?" Veer checked her face, her neck, her shoulders, her hands and then ran his fingers through her hair.
"Veeranshu don't worry. I am fine. Kuch nahi hua mujhe."
"Tum theek ho?" Veer asked.
"Haan" A raindrop fell on Veer's shoulder.
Bani told veer that she asked Daksh to lie to him because she wanted to see Veer on the terrace. Veer looked at her in disbelief.
The fireflies caught Veer's attention. They danced in the night as if choreographed by every joyous memory and dream. The little beings of light glimmered happily. Veer smiled looking at them. They co-ordinated and their glimmer formed a S-O-R-R-Y in the dark night. Veer looked at Bani, his brow raised.
"I am really very sorry Veer." Bani apologized again holding her ear lobes. Another raindrop fell on Bani's nose.
"Main tumse pehle bhi keh chuka hoon ke mujhe yeh shabd bilkul pasand nahi hai. Aur tab toh bilkul bhi nahi jab koi usse khudki sahuliyat ke hisaab se istemaal kare. Kisi ka dil dukhaate, sorry bole aur aage badh jaaye. But I guess mujhe tumhe maaf kar dena chahiye kyonki kam se kam tumne iss baar sorry toh bola." Veer was deeply hurt.
Tapish screamed Veer's name. Ponky's matchstick antics had set the dining table on fire. Veer left the terrace.
Realization dawned on Bani in that very moment. She hated him blindly. She made plans to irritate him, instigate him, even kill him. She fought with him for the most unreasonable reasons. She misunderstood him and his intentions. She did not trust him when he tried to warn her about Jay. She literally pushed him away when he tried to talk about his feelings with her."Yeh ghar nahi hai, kaid hai.", " Feeling hai naa mere dil mein,nafrat wali feeling jo kabhi nahi badlegi. Main aisa hone nahi dungi.""Tumhaare chhune se achha hai main mar jaau." She fought with him so viciously. With so much of hate. She has broken his heart. She has let him down. There is so much she needs to apologize for. Will he be able to forgive her.
~~~
Meera looked at the falling rain from the window. The drops were steady and heavy from the sky of black velvet.
"Veer Jeeju aapki sweet heart kahaan hai? Mujhe unka bronzer chahiye." Mahek asked Veer chirpyly. Veer looked around. She was nowhere to be found. Everyone was in the Hall. Where is she?
"Dekhta hoon main." He went in their room to check but she was not there. She was not in the kitchen as well. The last he had seen her was on the terrace. So he went to check on the terrace.
Bani was standing there, shivering. Getting drenched in rain. Rain fell in crazy chaotic drops, the gusting wind carrying them in wild vortices one moment and in diagonal sheets the next. It ran down her face as a thin layer, still he understood that she was crying. She looked into his eyes,her lips trembled and her shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to backdown. Her dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears; her hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief she called upon herself. Tears traced down her cheek.
She wept, tears streaming from her deep eyes, loud, heaving sobs tearing from her throat, and still she looked in his eyes. Her sobs became painful and she knew she was about to fall on her knees when Veer came to hold her in place.
"Kya ho gaya hai tumhe Bani. Aise baarish mein kyon bheeg rahi ho? Tabiyat kharaab kar logi apni. Andar chalo." Veer said to her strictly.
"Mujhe kahi nahi jana, baat karni hai tumse. Maafi maangni hai Veeranshu."
"Haalat dekho apni Bani, apne aap ko itni takleef kyon de rahi ho? Pareshaan kar rahi ho tum mujhe. You will catch cold." Veer gripped her arm.
"I am really sorry Veer. Please mujhse naaraaz mat raho. Main aur bardaasht nahi kar sakti."
"Tum meri samajh se bilkul parre ho Bani. Kabhi kehti ho tum mujhse beintehaan nafrat karti ho, kabhi meri safety ke liye taandav karne pe utar aati ho, jab tumhaare kareeb aataa hu toh mujhe dhakka deti ho aur abhi mere liye baarish mein aansu baha rahi ho." Veer finally decided to have a conversation.
"Pehle toh kehte thhe mere dil ka haal bohot achhe se jaante ho ab meri baatein, meri harkatein, meri aadatein tumhaari samajh mein nahi aati? Mujhse bore ho gaye ho kya? Bohot pareshaan karti hoon na main tumhe?" Bani just blabbered whatever she felt like. She had grown so insecure in the last few minutes. Veer deserved so much better. She thought he would leave her.
"Bore ho gaya hoon? Kya bakwaas karna shuru kar diya tumne? Tumhe andaza bhi hai tum kya bole jaa rahi ho? Are you out of your mind?" Veer was angry.
"Haan. Dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai mera. Unn saari baaton ke baare mein soch ke jo maine tumhaare saath galat ki hai. You know what, I'll make it easy for you. Chhod do mujhe aur jaao apni uss best friend Mayuri ke pass." Bani declared.
"Ab Mayuri beech mein kahaan se aa gayi?" Veer was baffled.
"Achhe se yaad hai mujhe, usne tum dono ki wild parties ke baare mein kya kahaan thha." Bani looked away.
Veer made her look at him. "Tumhe jalan ho rahi hai iska matlab yeh nahi hai ke jo tumhaare mann mein aaega tum bolti jaaogi. Woh Adi Naag Jay, kabse kundli maarke mere sarr par baitha hua hai, japta rehta hai tumhara joda woh hai. Mann toh karta hai uski haddi pasli ek kar doon. Kuch kiya maine? Aur woh Shakura, pata nahi kaha se prakat hokar tumse shaadi karneka bhoot sawaar ho gaya us par. Sala jisse dekho aakar meri hi biwi se ishq farmana hai. Kya maine tumse kabhi kaha uss shakura shakira ya uss chepu dhaabewaale ke saath chali jaao?"
" Maine kahaan mana kiya hai, jaao dhundlo koi aisi jiski feelings samajh mein aati ho tumhe! Koi hot dikhne waali runway model jo tumhe cheelu baby bulaae aur tum bhi usse babu, shona, jaaneman, cutie pie aur darling bulana. Mini skirt pehenke ghumegi poore ghar mein. Khush raho tum apni zindagi mein... Daaru peeyo, Party karo. Mere hone yana hone se kya hi farq padega?"
"Seriously Bani, mujhe farq nahi padega?" He aggressively pulled her towards himself.
"Haan nahi padega. Subah se kitni baar maafi maang chuki hoon. Maaf karna toh dur, baat tak nahi kar rahe ho tum. Jeeyu maru kya farq padega tumhe?" Bani grabbed his collar.
"Just Shut up Bani Sharma." Her words made him so angry. He twisted her wrist in the small of her back.
The moment felt crazy. Bani wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to be alone, she needed him with her. She continued to blabber foolishly about whatever she felt like. She was panicking. Any kind of sensibility was forgotten.
Veer just held her face and pressed his lips against her. He had had enough. Bani's whole body leapt in sensual shock. What had he just done? The proximity was so comforting. She felt quiet. Peaceful.
The moment was not just magical, it was divine. It calmed both of them down. The rain drops washed away an unseen pain, a doubt, an angst. When their lips were locked together the world itself ceased to exist,blurred and indistinct as a wet painting left out in the torrent that fell from the dark clouds above. The rain ran down their faces to where their lips meet,each of them tasting the cold drops. Instead of detracting from the intensity of the moment it brought them to new heights. Veer pushed his lips in more firmly and the impulse that ran through Bani felt intoxicating, made her head swim as she pulled back to take in his beautiful face.She was panting for breathe.His eyes were like every fantasy she had ever had of him, every moment she had wished could exist between the two of them . The kiss, the look, a stolen moment that could have just washed away but instead was set, colour-fast,indelible.
"Kabhi bhi yeh kehne ki jurrat mat karna ke tumhaari kisi baat se mujhe farq nahi padta. Bohot farq padta hai. Mere dil mein, meri zindagi mein aur mere ghar mein tumhaari jagah koi nahi le sakta. "
His hand moved back to her face, and still looking at her mouth, he ran his thumb across her lips, gently. His eyes followed it.
She did not think she could take much more. She could barely breathe. She closed her eyes tightly. He could see it. See her body tense. See her struggling to breathe. "Look at me," he said.
She opened her eyes, and looked at his mouth again. Took her lips closer to his and pressed a soft kiss.
"Bohot galat thhi main Veer. Sara gussa, saari narazgi,saare gile shikwe tumse thhe , Lekin mera dil jaanta hai, sara pyaar, saaridosti aur saare jazbaat bhi tumhaare liye hai. Tumhaare alawaa iss duniya meinmera koi nahi hai. Tumhaare alawaa aisa koi nahi hai jisse main poore haq seapni zindagi ka hissa maan saku. Tumse pehle naa meri zindagi mein koi thha natumhaare baad koi hoga, tum pati ho mere. Pyaar ko samajh nahi paayi hoon main,shaayad khud pyaar ke laayak hi nahi hoon. Haan maanaa thha maine tumhedushman, beintehaan nafrat bhi ki thhi par kya yeh galat hoga agar main tumsekahu ke apni Bani ek mauka aur do. Main tumhaare saath rehna chahti hoon Veer,tumhaare paas rehna chahti hu."
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