Toxicity and Emotional Abuse Rampant in Joint Families like Goenkas - Page 2

Originally posted by: kendra

For me, Kartik's character never recovered after he stole Krish from Keerti. I don't know how any normal family would ever move past that? Even with Vedika track, she was deliberately made a villain so that a great milan could happen. All other characters are shown in a negative light just to glorify the leads. What you wrote is so true, point by point.

In reality, Kirti and Naksh should have moved far away from Kartik after getting Krish back. They should have taken Bhabhimaa and Devyani with them. And probably Naira if she had lost her memory. That is the realistic route. Any sane parent would have gotten a restraining order against Kartik after he stole their baby.

During the Vedika track, I was 100% on Vedika's side. When she found out that Naira was alive and Kairav was Kartik's son, she was very reasonable and supportive. Things got complicated because Naira was brought back into the Goenka house as Kairav's mother and Kartik's ex-wife. Nobody even told Kairav that his parents were divorced or that Vedika was Kartik's wife. Kartik and Naira could have easily stayed separately and raised Kairav as divorced parents. Hundreds of parents raise their children like that. And many kids also develop great relationships with their biological and step mothers. Kairav should have been told that Vedika was his stepmother. And I don't care how much Kartik and Naira's longing was glorified after he got married to Vedika. He had an extramarital affair with his ex-wife. That's the plain and simple truth. No sugarcoating.

Originally posted by: mahaan18

Exactly absolutely correct. I remember when keerti was conveying all these things to Kartik most of them were telling why is she telling it to Kartik she can tell it to naksh she know whom to convey it to. Naksh wanted his father badly he needed his support and why naira and naitik had to go to Mumbai for it when kartik and naira were separated they could have been in Udaipur itself. Not only that I was suprised in one more thing when naksh said I will give krish to naira if her health worsens and bhabhimaa and devyani were standing and listening to it clearly showed that they were supporting him in that decision. Did bhabhimaa forget about her time what khaand she did during akshara and nandini time?

For naksh first naira comes then family and then keerti and son come but still, keerti doesn't have any problem with it. But giving Krish to naira without consulting his wife was ridiculous. Kartik cancelling his marriage with naira showed that Kaira are mahaan and keerti is wrong that's rubbish.

They absolutely butchered Naksh's character during that track. When it started, he literally punched Kartik and beat him up. That is the kind of rage I was hoping to be carried through. Rage born of out deep love for his baby. But for some preposterous reason, he actually thought of just giving his baby away to his sister if her health worsened.

Tell me one thing though, if Naira herself was recovering from major brain trauma and amnesia, how was she going to take care of a baby on her own? She was already the baby's aunt. She got to play with him and pamper him in the Singhania house without dealing with the dirty work of changing his diapers and staying up all night. Wouldn't that have been better for her? Spending time with her nephew but also focusing on her own health?

Originally posted by: Dvanshi123

Karthik stole krrish from keerti and naksh.

These idiots spolied mansi and anmol's wedding.

Forget the torture their parents have gone through coz of them.

Yet how come are they mahaan??

@Bold: Mansi and Anmol deserved so much better. They only needed permission from Mohit-Nandini and Surekha-Akhilesh. But they had to involve Kartik-Naira and by extension all the drama of both Singhanias and Goenkas. They should have just gotten married in a small ceremony in the presence of Mohit, Nandini, Yash, Rose, Surekha, Akhilesh, and Luv-Kush.

Kartik-Naira also hogged the limelight during Kirti and Naksh's wedding. They did this whole "sagaai phirse karenge" and then they did the games meant for the bride and groom. That was probably the very few times I partially agreed with Suhasini Dadi. Naira was stealing Kirti's thunder. That was so incredibly rude.

Even during Naira and Kirti's godh bharai, Naira made it all about herself. Kirti was literally going through her first godh bharai and her first successful pregnancy without her husband there, but the focus of the episode was that Kartik started called Naira "cute" instead of "beautiful." Like, seriously?! Get your priorities straight man!!

Originally posted by: Aditii

In reality, Kirti and Naksh should have moved far away from Kartik after getting Krish back. They should have taken Bhabhimaa and Devyani with them. And probably Naira if she had lost her memory. That is the realistic route. Any sane parent would have gotten a restraining order against Kartik after he stole their baby.

During the Vedika track, I was 100% on Vedika's side. When she found out that Naira was alive and Kairav was Kartik's son, she was very reasonable and supportive. Things got complicated because Naira was brought back into the Goenka house as Kairav's mother and Kartik's ex-wife. Nobody even told Kairav that his parents were divorced or that Vedika was Kartik's wife. Kartik and Naira could have easily stayed separately and raised Kairav as divorced parents. Hundreds of parents raise their children like that. And many kids also develop great relationships with their biological and step mothers. Kairav should have been told that Vedika was his stepmother. And I don't care how much Kartik and Naira's longing was glorified after he got married to Vedika. He had an extramarital affair with his ex-wife. That's the plain and simple truth. No sugarcoating.

Okay but Vedika did some nasty shit because of her "rights a wife". If she was sane and reasonable and had any douse of self-respect, she would have left Karthik earlier. Especially seeing how Karthik cared about her, but only as a friend. Neither did he express any other types of feelings towards, nor develop any and could not move on from his ex-wife. They should have never been married, Karthik commited a grave mistake by agreeing to do so.

I am so happy to see so many sane replies and it's good to know that people still watch tv shows with rational thinking and logic. I've always felt bad for Keerti. In the beginning, Naksh used to support her and suddenly they turned Naksh into a supporter for Naira. No one asked her opinion about giving up Krish. All the weddings up till now have been hogged by the main leads. I remember getting confused during Mansi and Anmol's wedding about who the actual bride and groom were. And getting divorced two times! In reality, Naksh and Keerti would've taken a restraining order against Kartik, and Kartik and Naira would've never been back together after their first divorce.

Originally posted by: Aditii

@Bold: Mansi and Anmol deserved so much better. They only needed permission from Mohit-Nandini and Surekha-Akhilesh. But they had to involve Kartik-Naira and by extension all the drama of both Singhanias and Goenkas. They should have just gotten married in a small ceremony in the presence of Mohit, Nandini, Yash, Rose, Surekha, Akhilesh, and Luv-Kush.

Kartik-Naira also hogged the limelight during Kirti and Naksh's wedding. They did this whole "sagaai phirse karenge" and then they did the games meant for the bride and groom. That was probably the very few times I partially agreed with Suhasini Dadi. Naira was stealing Kirti's thunder. That was so incredibly rude.

Even during Naira and Kirti's godh bharai, Naira made it all about herself. Kirti was literally going through her first godh bharai and her first successful pregnancy without her husband there, but the focus of the episode was that Kartik started called Naira "cute" instead of "beautiful." Like, seriously?! Get your priorities straight man!!

Ohh yes I do remember it .

They had there kaira nikaah on naksh kirti's mehandi day !!

Like hogging all the limelight !

Its irritating when only the leads are put so much into focus !!

Originally posted by: Aditii

@Bold: My thoughts exactly. Kartik is being emotionally manipulative by guilt-tripping Gayu in this situation. In fact, this is what he does every. single. time. It is a tactic used by abusers to keep their victim trapped.

Think about this. You go to someone and express a problem with something they did or said. They reply by saying, "I'm so sorry. You know what, from now on I won't even say anything. I'll just leave. I'm so terrible. I shouldn't even be here." Then they go on to hurt themselves in some way, usually emotionally as is the case in YRKKH. Now, you feel guilty for ever expressing a problem because it has gotten them (and possibly others) hurt. So you go and apologize and everything is back to the way it was before. The original problem hasn't been solved but the abuser now has a one-up on you and you feel guilty thinking it was all your mistake.

This is the kind of abuse Kartik is doing to Gayu right now. This is what he did to Kirti too. Remember when Naira lost her memory and Kaira were getting ready to get married? Kirti expressed a genuine concern that every time Kartik-Naira mess up, her life gets affected. And she was right! Kaira got divorced which made Naitik leave for Mumbai with Naira leaving Naksh alone here to handle the mess causing strain on Kirti-Naksh's marraige. Hell, even worse, Kartik literally stole her kid for Naira while she was in a coma!! She was scared that Krish would be taken from her and given to Naira if her health worsens. And Naksh was responsible for that mess, but I can't go into that rabbit hole right now. So what does Kartik do? Does he talk with Naksh? Does he even properly apologize to Kirti? NO! He leaves Naira at the altar and refuses to marry her without any explanation causing pain to himself, Naira, and every family member involved. Kirti feels guilty for thinking the way she did and apologizes to Kartik and everyone gets a happy ending. But Kirti's very genuine fears and concerns are never addressed. Instead, she is shown as the negative character and Kartik is glorified.

This is the definition of abuse, people. And it is being glorified on national television. No wonder all this gets so normalized in Indian joint families. No wonder there are no boundaries, especially for women, in Indian families.

Kaira's way of dealing with issues is very wrong. One choose to run away from problems and the other manipulates situations in his favour. Both are completely wrong. But the even bigger problem is it is glorified way too much by creatives.

There is nothing healthy left in Kaira's relationship. There is no trust, no understanding, no maturity nothing. Simply loving each other is not enough to bind a relationship. In real life, Kaira's relationship would have broken off a long time ago. Even today, Karthik kept on blaming Naira. And he is behaving as if Naira has no right whatsoever on her own child. He made her beg with him to meet her child. That sort of behaviour is wrong. If anything, he should have been the bridge between mother and son. He should have made Kairav understand. Instead he is simply encouraging Kairav's fears.

And how delusional are Goenkas, especially Dadi. Does she really think Gayu said all those things because she is only worried about Vansh. That is just ridiculous. This is what happens when someone else hijacks the entire narrative and make it about themselves. Karthik unnecessarily interrupted Gayu's decision and made it all about himself and his family. And Gayu's genuine concerns are once again ignored and forgotten because of Kaira.

Originally posted by: janecastle

There is nothing healthy left in Kaira's relationship. There is no trust, no understanding, no maturity nothing. Simply loving each other is not enough to bind a relationship. In real life, Kaira's relationship would have broken off a long time ago. Even today, Karthik kept on blaming Naira. And he is behaving as if Naira has no right whatsoever on her own child. He made her beg with him to meet her child. That sort of behaviour is wrong. If anything, he should have been the bridge between mother and son. He should have made Kairav understand. Instead he is simply encouraging Kairav's fears.

Their marriage is just left to "haaye" & "I love you".Rest nothing healthy is there in the relationship.