I just wrote what I felt but feel like it's not good too.
Will share here. Read if it interests you only. Otherwise skip this.
It was the day I got a letter from a girl by mistake .Was it a mistake ? I don't know . I am still confused over it . She had written it to her future hubby. She had written her conditions regarding the marriage . I was happy to learn that there is a girl who thinks like me. I replied. Waited for her reply. I was dissappointed when I didn't receive a reply. When Batuk asked me whether I love that girl. I was confused . I couldn't say yes or no. When again Batuk asked whether I love him than the lettee girl . I couldn't reply again . I was confused . I didn't know what to answer.
Then I went back to Saurab ,my friend's wedding . I never knew that I will get married that day, that is also to the letter girl. They were going to get her married to an old man. I came from London with a determination that I will get justice for women in India and in front of me they were going to get a child to marry an old man. I was furious. Fought to save her.Somehow old man died and I went back but my heart was not in peace I felt something bad is happening to her. I want to go back had to fight again who was obedient to my father. Today I am thankful that I went back . They were going to kill her in the name of Sati Puja. I don't know whether it was the darkest night or the brightest night in my life. The only way to save her was marrying her. Yes, I Anirudh Roy Choudry married Bonditha Daz that night to save her. I don't know how I felt that something bad was going to happen to her. I never knew her. I am confused.
She was my responsibility . My father wanted to send her away with widows. That night was the night I planned to propose Mini, my childhood love. Everything ruined because I married Bonditha . When I learnt what my father was going to do to Bonditha I ran to save her.Though I was depressed I couldn't let anything happen to Bonditha . Why? I am confused .
Then I learnt on the post marriage ceremony that she is the letter girl. Was it co incident or destiny ? I was confused.
Her bed wetting problem created a scene at home. All were ready to send her back I too. Then I remembered the promise I gave on marriage day.I didn't let her go. I thought to fight for her. During this time I learnt about her. Her logic made me think that I am talking to a barrister not a kid nor my wife. Her presence started affecting me.I forget even Mini when I am with her. How can it happen ? It's confusing me still .
When that Baba tried to hurt her I was pissed off. I saw on time to save her. I fought day and night to keep her with me. I don't know why. I am confused.
She brought me the childhood I lost. I started to forget I am a barrister in front of her. I played with her, her bak bak became a stress buster to me. Those 7days I got closed to her attached to her. When I thought Ma has taken her away from me I almost felt I lost her not the challenge . Tears filled up my eyes . I don't know why. I knew her for few days. I couldn't think of a day without her. Why? I am really confused.When I saw her in store room I was relived . I had never felt so happy like this.
Next day was a nightmare for me. It was last day of my challenge and no matter what we both decided to win. But when I entered the house I saw Bonditha unconscious. My heart stopped for a minute . I couldn't see her like that. She was my cheer girl. The one who used to bak bak all the time was silent . I didn't know what to do. All blamed me. They didn't understand me. I wanted to keep her with me. I accepted the challenge because of it. When Mini was unconscious I didn't feel like this. Truly I felt relaxed. I really don't know why I feel like this for Bonditha . I am confused.
The day she held breath I almost lost my breath but Mini was about to cut her wrist I didn't feel like this . What is this feeling ? I am confused.
I was ready to risk my life to get Bonditha out of fear. I can go to any extent to keep her with me. Her silent kills me. Her smile , her bak bak encourages me. I never felt this for anyone.
Even if I am angry she knows to calm down me. How? Don't ask even I don't know . She melts my heart. I never thought anyone can control me. But I was wrong . She is controlling me. She is controlling my thoughts, my anger, truly myself .
Before meeting her I never thought that I would play again . Yes this Barrister Babu is ready to play with her now. Any time.
Why? Who is she to me? I am still confused.
When she said Bho Bho was better than me, it was like a tight slap for me. Being my Patni I couldn't protect her ,I couldn't keep her promise but my Patni has a big heart she forgave me.
But that forgiveness was like a punish for me. She forgave me but I felt like I did wrong by staying with Mini .
I make sure she understands Mini was only my Dost. I do not want her to question it ever. I was determined that Bonditha was my responsibility only but now I often admits she is my Patni. Why? What is happening to me? I am confused .
No matter what may come I will educate my Patni . Let her reach the sky. She will do it. I have full faith on her.I will fight all the odds for it. I am determined but I really don't know why I do all these. I am highly confused.
My heart and my mind battles a lot. I really cannot understand what is happening to me.
I wish there is one person to guide me and teach me what I feel.
-Anirudh Roy Choudry -
Cricket
Tum Se Tum Tak
