Whatever is happening in the last few episodes, although kuhu is bring painted as the sole wrong/responsible person, im of the opinion that every key player involved is equally responsible.
Warning: fairly long post ahead
Kuhu (not talking about past mistakes here... where her wrongdoings have been way more grave and she was clearly in the wrong)::
for being obviously immature about it all and once again blaming mishti as a direct cause of distress. Start taking responsibility for your own distress if you are expecting others to! She definitely needs to be in therapy. Her parents and grandparents screwed up big time and she is still stuck being an insecure child when it comes to mishti and her maika.(it's very lazy writing according to me that the writers keep disregarding obvious growth of the character over the months and keep bringing her back to square one each time just for dramatic effect)
Kunal: Dude stop invalidating Kuhu's feelings for godsake! You keep telling her to grow up yet keep handling her like a child instead of your wife! Listen to her!!!! Stop preaching and projecting your own relationship with your brother on to her. Sab relationships ek jaise nahin hote. Help her instead of gaslighting her.
Mishti: she's had her own struggle with her parents and in-laws, sure and she is more forthcoming usually with her love for family , kuhu included. But she has her fair share of prejudices regarding kuhu and automatically assumes that she is the larger person in every situation just because kuhu is acting out. She is calm and takes the high road at the moment and keep digging out past mistake of kuhu every single time she acts out.
Even today, she just presumed that kuhu called varsha and gave wrong information when it was not true and started the second round of the circus! But of course it's brushed under the carpet, never to be mentioned again! Both kuhu and her are equally immature here imo.
Also, she has hid Kuhu's wrongdoings and enabled her several times... She is accusing abir of being an enabler and that kuhu will never grow up like this... Did she think that she's been doing the same thing for longer than him? Both of them are wrong in this ( kuhu as an adult should be responsible for her actions bit don't call out abir while you've done the same thing again and again)
Abir: um...dude, stop whisking away Mishti to room and asking her to keep quite for family's sake. Bandaid does not work on deep wounds... It requires stitches! Temporary Shanti ki chakkar me he is permanently damaging kuhu and mishti relationship. This does nothing but increase mishtis resentment towards kuhu. He also needs to sort out how he wants to deal with kuhu. Jab Mann Kiya sunadiya, jab think laga enable kiya. What sort of Shanti are you trying to keep? Encourage them to sort out the issues by taking it out and resolving the issues rather than pushing it under the carpet. It will be a messy time consuming process but the chances that they will both emerge with a stronger and much less tangled and stable relationship and thus your "peace in the family" will actually persist.
Big Ben:: inke baare mein Kya hi kehna. First you gaslight the sisters, accuse them and make them extremely insecure about their place in you family individually. Then you deliberately pit them against each other and manipulate them into thinking the other is actively sabotaging their life. You actively mislead, manipulate and sometimes even threaten kuhu into doing something wrong and bad to mishti and accuse mishti of every thing you can possibly find under the even untill the last minute before the unraveling of the last fiasco. And now you magically want then to put away all the I'll feeling between then that YOU actively nurtured just because YOU want YOUR house to be peaceful while doing nothing about actually helping them?? Just saying you want them to solve it as a family doesn't work. Put in the work! Wow! First off, maybe start by making them both feel that it's their house and that they are BOTH appreciated and loved by YOU. They seek your validation and you've only ever used it to pit them against each other..maybe now is the time to use it constructively if you want them to settle down
Varsha: she is one character I'll almost never understand! She keeps oscillating between unreasonably blaming either kuhu or mishti to unreasonably backing them up. I feel this has a lot to do with her in laws' parenting ways and has led to an extremely flawed parenting by herself. She has coddled kuhu like a child in order to compensate for BM and BPs excessive mishti focussed parenting and has directly led to her being borderline bratty and immature. But everytime she sees kuhu being rude she swing all the way back and starts berating her even when she may not be wrong! Again, ill never know how she will react in any situation.
And finally, the root cause of everything going on in this show!
BM and BP (BM>BP):
So, they both decide to bring in their daughter's very young relative with family issues and raise her as their own child. Very noble. But all the while pandering to their new child, they completely forsake the roles of being responsible grandparents! Yes, mishti was traumatized, feeling lonely and needed support. But newsflash- so did kuhu. She needed her family to love and accept her. When they finally did, all the attention and care was suddenly diverted and instead of assuring the young girl that they didn't lover her any less, they simply let her be! Let her insecurities deepen everytime you let mishti take center stage and ignored kuhu.
If midhti is your daughter, she could never be Kuhu's "badi behen". She got all the rights and advantages of being her "bua" and non of the responsibilities. It was a clear hierarchy where mishti's "parents" we're the decision makers of the house clearly doing a great job at catering to her and being great parents while Kuhu's parents were "children" of the house who could not really do anything other than spoil/discipline kuhu herself and her grandparents had forsaken the role fully. Anytime something happened concerning the two girls, they were always mishti's parents not Kuhu's grandparents. So it was natural that kuhu felt that mishti snatched away part of her family even if it was not mishti's active choice and hence not her fault.
This continues to this day and clearly seen in varsha and BM's conversation. Varsha never said one word about mishti. She was simply worried about kuhu when BM started presuming mishti needed defending and in the process blamed kuhu. It didn't matter if kuhu was hurting to BM, only the possibility of her berating mishti mattered!
In a real world, unless ALL of these people stop playing the blame game and start sending their mistakes, there is no way the two "parivaars" are staying together!
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Cricket
