Anirudh broke my heart - Page 4

Originally posted by: AnonymouslyS

Platonic. The right word to describe their relationship now.

I feel like people are being way too harsh on judging Ani because he is suppose to be the modern thinking one from the show so they expect everything from him to be right.

People love bondita very much. She is a cutie pie. Slightest offence to her in any form invokes harsh judgement. Ani is a rich intelligent guy who had everything in his palm, a doting family and a beautiful gf. He is set on a new path now, it will take time for him to completely embrace it. Ani will falter time and again, he might stagger or sway but the beauty is he won't give up until he planted his feet firmly on the ground. Bondu will make sure his heart and mind are placed in the right direction.

She will be his inspiration, his drive, the shakti is his shiva

Originally posted by: AnonymouslyS

Platonic. The right word to describe their relationship now.

I feel like people are being way too harsh on judging Ani because he is suppose to be the modern thinking one from the show so they expect everything from him to be right.

Nobody has a problem with the word Platonic. People are mad at the way the word Zimmedari/Platonic was used by Anirudh to justify his "My Mini", "Mera haq" behaviour with Mini.

Let's imagine a slightly tweaked scenario. Bondita is a 20 year old who got married and her husband died on her wedding day. So the people were forcing her to commit sati. And to save 20 year old Bondita from sati, Anirudh married her. The rest of the scenario is the same. Anirudh was supposed to propose to Mini and so on. Now a similar thing takes place, Bondita starts adoring/falling in love with her husband for his good deeds, he doesn't discourage her Pati Babu rants, calls her Unki Bondita on her face, wins some Chunoti with 20 year old Bondita, cries tears of joy with her and the very next day goes back to his ex girlfriend, flirts with her, calls her Meri Mini etc etc. And then finally declares that Bondita is not and will never be his wife but only zimmedari. Would you still feel the same way about the situation?

If Anirudh refuses to justify the injustices against women in the society, then why should anyone justify his injustice towards two women. They say change starts at home and with one's self. No wife would want to be in such a situation. Whether he accepts it or not, she is legally his wife. Just because Bondita is a kid, it doesn't justify his behaviour. The zimmedari part I can understand, but the giving Mini hope and mixed signals and not asking her to move on is completely wrong.

Originally posted by: leanne_1983

Nobody has a problem with the word Platonic. People are mad at the way the word Zimmedari/Platonic was used by Anirudh to justify his "My Mini", "Mera haq" behaviour with Mini.

Let's imagine a slightly tweaked scenario. Bondita is a 20 year old who got married and her husband died on her wedding day. So the people were forcing her to commit sati. And to save 20 year old Bondita from sati, Anirudh married her. The rest of the scenario is the same. Anirudh was supposed to propose to Mini and so on. Now a similar thing takes place, Bondita starts adoring/falling in love with her husband for his good deeds, he doesn't discourage her Pati Babu rants, calls her Unki Bondita on her face, wins some Chunoti with 20 year old Bondita, cries tears of joy with her and the very next day goes back to his ex girlfriend, flirts with her, calls her Meri Mini etc etc. And then finally declares that Bondita is not and will never be his wife but only zimmedari. Would you still feel the same way about the situation?

If Anirudh refuses to justify the injustices against women in the society, then why should anyone justify his injustice towards two women. They say change starts at home and with one's self. No wife would want to be in such a situation. Whether he accepts it or not, she is legally his wife. Just because Bondita is a kid, it doesn't justify his behaviour. The zimmedari part I can understand, but the giving Mini hope and mixed signals and not asking her to move on is completely wrong.

I never said that people have problem with the word platonic. I just wanted to agree with the person who wrote that.

When I say people are judging Anirudh harshly, I mean before, when he was being called a cheater for not asking Mini to stop even though though he wasn’t the one who started the Moments between Him and Mini. And honestly, when I watched yesterday’s episode today he said it in a very normal voice, like he was talking to his friend.

This was a good way to make those people who were complaining about Ani’s behavior before realize that the Ani before was way better than the Ani now.

If Bondita was a 20 year old, he would have still had a hard time accepting her. Nobody can forget their first love as quick as people are expecting Ani too. He would have still experienced the thing she is going through now. I would not feel any different then how I am feeling about him now.

Think about it like this, what if Bondi loved someone else and he started doing the same things as Mini now and Bondu showed care for him despite the fact that she was married. What would you have thought about her then? Would you have said it was wrong?

Originally posted by: AnonymouslyS

I never said that people have problem with the word platonic. I just wanted to agree with the person who wrote that.

When I say people are judging Anirudh harshly, I mean before, when he was being called a cheater for not asking Mini to stop even though though he wasn’t the one who started the Moments between Him and Mini. And honestly, when I watched yesterday’s episode today he said it in a very normal voice, like he was talking to his friend.

This was a good way to make those people who were complaining about Ani’s behavior before realize that the Ani before was way better than the Ani now.

If Bondita was a 20 year old, he would have still had a hard time accepting her. Nobody can forget their first love as quick as people are expecting Ani too. He would have still experienced the thing she is going through now. I would not feel any different then how I am feeling about him now.

Think about it like this, what if Bondi loved someone else and he started doing the same things as Mini now and Bondu showed care for him despite the fact that she was married. What would you have thought about her then? Would you have said it was wrong?

I'm sorry if I misunderstood and if I hurt you. My intentions were not that. My anger is only towards the character.

Also, this is the last thing I want to say on this topic. I don't want to discuss Anirudh anymore. He may have done more than anyone could have done for Bondita, BUT....His character is kind of tarnished for me probably forever. He was supposed to be a man of ethics and morals but the writers have destroyed the character. And in last night's episode he was worse than the previous one. "Mini tum mere liye kya ho yeh mujhe kisi ko batane ki zarurat nahin. Tum mere liye kal zaruri thi, aaj zaruri ho aur hamesha zaruri rahogi." Isn't he openly telling her I don't want you to move on EVER..... in the name of "dost"? This is not how a man of honour would have behaved. It's like taking the first step towards an affair......no matter how much one tries to deny it or justify it. Maybe he won't do it, but what about Mini, her future? I kind of feel sorry for her now. He is not ready to give up Bondita in the name of responsibility, but what are his intentions with Mini?

When I said imagine a 20 year old Bondita, I didn't mean that Anirudh would have accepted her because she is an adult. No one can change feelings just like that overnight, specially for first love. What I meant was would WE accept such behaviour from Anirudh? Just because Bondita is a child and she doesnt understand what they are doing and thinks "Pati Babu aur Pari Didi khel rahen hain", does it make it justifiable? Later these same memories will traumatize her.

@bold Oh I would definitely say it is wrong. I believe marriage is a commitment and something holy. And if one can't keep up with the commitment then it is better to come out of it rather than stay in it and have affairs. Anirudh is doing grave injustice to both Bondita and Mini without realising it. Both their futures are at stake. By the time they both realise it it may be too late. Mini may be too old and realise she can never take Anirudh's wife's place, and Bondita will be an adult and realise it was NEVER her place in the 1st place.

Originally posted by: leanne_1983

I'm sorry if I misunderstood and if I hurt you. My intentions were not that. My anger is only towards the character.

Also, this is the last thing I want to say on this topic. I don't want to discuss Anirudh anymore. He may have done more than anyone could have done for Bondita, BUT....His character is kind of tarnished for me probably forever. He was supposed to be a man of ethics and morals but the writers have destroyed the character. And in last night's episode he was worse than the previous one. "Mini tum mere liye kya ho yeh mujhe kisi ko batane ki zarurat nahin. Tum mere liye kal zaruri thi, aaj zaruri ho aur hamesha zaruri rahogi." Isn't he openly telling her I don't want you to move on EVER..... in the name of "dost"? This is not how a man of honour would have behaved. It's like taking the first step towards an affair......no matter how much one tries to deny it or justify it. Maybe he won't do it, but what about Mini, her future? I kind of feel sorry for her now. He is not ready to give up Bondita in the name of responsibility, but what are his intentions with Mini?

When I said imagine a 20 year old Bondita, I didn't mean that Anirudh would have accepted her because she is an adult. No one can change feelings just like that overnight, specially for first love. What I meant was would WE accept such behaviour from Anirudh? Just because Bondita is a child and she doesnt understand what they are doing and thinks "Pati Babu aur Pari Didi khel rahen hain", does it make it justifiable? Later these same memories will traumatize her.

@bold Oh I would definitely say it is wrong. I believe marriage is a commitment and something holy. And if one can't keep up with the commitment then it is better to come out of it rather than stay in it and have affairs. Anirudh is doing grave injustice to both Bondita and Mini without realising it. Both their futures are at stake. By the time they both realise it it may be too late. Mini may be too old and realise she can never take Anirudh's wife's place, and Bondita will be an adult and realise it was NEVER her place in the 1st place.

Honestly when it comes to Anirudh this forum will be divided into 2’s. One that gets what he is doing and the one that thinks he is doing something wrong. And there really no way to make anyone change their opinions regarding someone so even I think is better to stop this argument.

Thank you for being so understanding and respectful through out the conversation.

Originally posted by: AnonymouslyS

Honestly when it comes to Anirudh this forum will be divided into 2’s. One that gets what he is doing and the one that thinks he is doing something wrong. And there really no way to make anyone change their opinions regarding someone so even I think is better to stop this argument.

Thank you for being so understanding and respectful through out the conversation.

🤗

Originally posted by: pratyay

I guess at a preliminary level, ani and mini both lost the chance to be with someone they love. If one looks deeper, it can be seen that Ani has a lot more burden to bear than Mini in this matter. A guy who went against the whole village and didn't think once about anything else but saving a little girl's life, imagine how difficult it will be for him to accept that he did injustice to the girl he loved.

I don't think so when he made up his mind to fight for women, he might have thought of raising his voice for them, getting them educated, save them from sati/balvivah. He didn't expect himself to marry a little girl, solve her bed wetting problems and other stuff. Or pay such a personal price for it.

Pati hu main, patni hey woh meri...He plays this card coz "Riwaaz ki riwaaz ko kaat tha hai" sometimes. It gives him the right above everyone else to decide for bondita which till date did only good for her, even though his personal zidd was involved. So, I made peace with it. The way he got worried when bondu stopped breathing forcefully or she became ill, its not because he accepted her as his wife, its because he is a good human at heart.

Had he been an activist and if this happened to a woman who is barely associated with him, he would more or less react the same way.

Ani has a golden heart but because of upbringing and his lifestyle, he can be a royal ass or entitled prick sometimes. He is not calm and humble. "Uske iraade sahi hai uske tarike Bondu ki sangath mein teekh hojayengey" is what I feel. He will learn humility from her and work on his flaws to become a better man.

From the beginning, Ani can't let go, its not in his nature. He is unable to let go off Mini which is double standard but makes him human too. He didn't take the decision to marry bondu thoughtfully and after marriage, all he was doing is fighting with family to give bondu a home. He never got closure, or even time to process things and get closure. I guess mini reminds him of love, of romantic aspect between a man and woman and when she reminds him of bondita as his patni, bile rises in his throat. He can't see himself associated that way with a little girl and he cringes and vehemently denies.

Woh zimmedari hai actually means our relationship is purely platonic.

Mini knows Ani inside out, his flaws and weaknesses too. She is tapping into them and he is giving into that. In due time, he will understand the err in his ways.

I think it will be bondita who will fall for Ani first. He will always see their marriage as nothing but a necessity. Their age gap will be a problem for him or a matter of insecurity when she grows up if he starts feeling for her. He is against balvivah and for him to accept his marriage as valid in every sense will be tough. He will be a middle aged man, with much more self restraint in his thoughts. And bondu will teach him to embrace love in the package it comes.

Personally I am against couple with such wide gap in age, but sometimes exceptions must be made

Too much rant...

@bold: excellent perspective 👏.......really relatable...

I won’t say I wasn’t disappointed when I first saw that scene. But Ani is not like other men and the polar opposite of the old man who wanted to marry Bondita. He was probably older than her grandfather but he was a pedophile nonetheless. Ani is not like that. Had he been allowed to take her responsibility like a guardian he would have happily done that but he took her for a wife just to save her from sati. He never accepted her as his wife coz for him child marriage is wrong. In his eyes he probably did the wrong thing but he knows it’s right coz it saved the life of a child. How will Ani accept her as his wife? I am not saying that physical intimacy cements a marriage but marriage needs emotional intimacy too which Ani can never have with Bondita right now. Yes she is his responsibility and will be till the time she becomes a woman who is mature and understands his needs, his aspirations to bring about a change in this world. Till then he will never be able to see her as his companion. Yes he does exercise his rights over as her husband. But when does he do that? Only when he knows some harm will befall her and he uses that right to shield her not to establish his right on Bondita as a husband. He can’t think of Bondita as a wife because he sees a child in her but when that child turns into a beautiful, headstrong woman who can walk beside him and be his strength to achieve his goals he will definitely think of her as his soulmate. She will no longer be his responsibility.

As for Mini, I hate that selfish woman but Ani is yet to see that side of her. Had Bondita never come into his life he would have married Mini but he would have fallen out of love very soon. Even being a married couple they would have drifted apart coz Mini is shallow. She would never have been his companion in the true sense. She always loved Anirudh Roy Choudhary, the son of a rich landlord who was settled in London. She was in love with the idea of spending a life with him that he could give her as a barrister in London. She never understood him nor his ambitions. But Ani doesn’t realise it yet. The day her true colours will be exposed she will fall before his eyes. Coming back to Ani, while I understand y he says there can’t be a husband wife relationship between him and Bondita, he should understand that before the society he is married to Bondita and having any kind of a tie with Mini will allow people to point fingers at her. So he should let her go so that she can move on and live a respectable life.

I haven't watched it in a long while but was reading the wu yesterday. Bondita referring to Anirudh as her bhagwan is definitely NOT how Bondita used to behave & think. Her urge to question every single thing is what makes her character intriguing. And the fact that she asked her mother about why pati is bhagwan ?

Coming to Mini , why is she staying in Anirudh's mansion in the first place ? Has the girl no respect ?

And god ! how much do I agree with this right here. I didn't watch for a while but after the lockdown it seems the writing department did a 180.

Anirudh looks like a different person , why would he even flirt with Mini ? Why give mini some hope ? I partially blame Anirudh for mini giving up her self respect and staying in roychowdhury mansion. From her perspective Bondita is no competition , and if your significant other constantly gives you hope then she's not to be blamed for deciding to stay.

What exactly makes Anirudh different from the misogynistic folks surrounding him if he is tossing around with the ladies in his life as well ????

I really , really wish that it's his plan , else they're butchering his character.

PS : I am okay with Anirudh considering Bondita his responsibility as long as he desires. It suits his personality. But whatever he's doing right now is not it. He is better than many but not the man he claims to be or the show needs.