Rishabh leaned against the headboard, Kukki lying over him, as he tapped her to sleep. This incident left him worried for her. He was now in a dilemma if he took the right decision by allowing her to spend time with Prerna even as a friend. She was too young to understand the difference between Prerna the friend or Prerna the person that she looked up to as her mother. He wasn't ready to put Kukki through any kind of stress knowing how sensitive she had been for people around her. This was also his first time to know about her fear that she thought like everyone else he'd leave her too. The thought felt like someone stabbed him.
CHAPTER 27
NEXT DAY (WEDNESDAY)
Spending a sleepless night, the very first thing he had on his mind was to seek some professional advice. He wasn't ready to take any chances when it was about his daughter and her well being. After dropping Kukki to school he made and fixed an afternoon meeting with Kukki's school counsellor. He wanted to make sure all was okay with his daughter. Also he wanted to revisit his decision to let Kukki meet Prerna.
KUKKE'S SCHOOL
Counsellor's Office
12.00 noon
Rishabh reached early than the usual time to pick up his daughter, and made his way to the counsellor's office who was expecting him.
"Mr. Bajaj I am glad you made time and came here to meet me. I have been wanting to meet you but I wanted to observe your daughter for some time before I called you" said Ms. Jain, the school counsellor.
"That's alright. I had to meet you because I am a bit worried now" said Rishabh, looking really concerned and restless.
"I need you to relax.." said the counsellor offering him a glass of water, which he respectfully refused.
"Aapne abhi jo kuch bhi bataya, I understand it can be a cause of worry for any parent. However, I want you to know that it's okay for kids to feel insecure especially in case of kids raised by single parents like yourself. Kids look around and find other kids with both their parents so it's natural for your daughter to think why she doesn't have a mother like her friends. And because she has only you in the name of parent and spends all her time with you she is bound to be a little possessive and insecure. It's absolutely fine for your daughter to think that way, till she is open about her feelings and shares her fears with you or other family members…"
"But.." he tried to intervene but she continued.
"Trust me Mr. Bajaj, I would have worried if, she was keeping all this to herself or hiding it all in the back pages of her notebooks like last time" She gave him an assuring smile and spoke further.
"Honestly, she has improved a lot since then. She is back to being the happy child that she is and performing amazingly well. I am in constant touch with her teachers. So whatever it is that you are doing, please continue. Noone can understand a child better than a parent"
After a while he told her about Prerna and what Kukki felt for her. He didn't tell her everything, but gave her enough information for her to know that Kukki considered Prerna as a mother figure and that Prerna wasn't going to be a permanent part of her life.
"Do you think it is a wise decision to let her meet? What if she gets too attached.." said Rishabh, leaning ahead resting both his hands on the table.
After listening to him carefully she said, "This sounds a little complicated but I would suggest that you keep communicating it to your daughter that this is not a permanent arrangement so that it doesn't come across as a shock for her when this person goes away. At the same time let her have her freedom to choose to be with people she wants to spend time with, of course keeping her security and well being as priority. If you can maintain that balance between her freedom and required checks and balances, she'll be fine. If you feel your daughter is physically and emotionally safe around his person, then I don't see much harm at this stage. Like I said earlier too she is a very receptive child. She will understand. We can always revisit the situation if you notice something problematic. Tab tak let's not stop her just because you fear for her response in future."
The counsellor looked at him and he was quietly listening, like he was still debating a lot of things in his mind.
"Mr. Bajaj are you listening?" she asked.
"Yesss.. I am.. it's just that I am still not sure…" he didn't look very convinced.
"Mr. Bajaj ab agar aap aise behave karenge to I might have to refer you to a counsellor for adults. Just relax.." she smiled to ease off a little of his tension.
"I hope not. Anyway Thank you Ms. Jain. I appreciate your time"
"Not a problem Mr. Bajaj.. Feel free to contact if you have any more questions. (She looked at her watch) school time is almost over, you can take your daughter with you, I'll inform her class teacher"
Rishabh thanked her again and left.
THREE DAYS LATER
Friday
After his conversation with the school counsellor and never ending debate with himself, he made peace with his decision to let Prerna be around Kukki. At the same time he made sure of reminding Kukki of the reality in his own way without letting her know either of them about his own apprehensions about the whole thing. He was super alert around Kukki, noticing every little change in her.
On the other side, Prerna had been working hard on her presentation, but she also made time to be with Kukki visiting her during lunch hours, a quick meeting during her classes. Sometimes Kukki came down with Tanvi post work hours if Rishabh's meetings got extended. She rarely spoke to Rishabh during the past 2-3 days. She wanted to speak to him but he was mostly busy. She didn't mind much because at least she was able to meet Kukki and she was occupied with her own presentation. Aditya had given her a huge task and she didn't want to let him down at any cost. It was also her chance to leave her impression in regards to her work.
Prerna's being busy with work also worked in favour of Rishabh because he knew that put a check on them, without much intervention from his end. Kukki also understood that she had other priorities too.
Today was the internal review of the presentation that she and her colleague Akash prepared for the board meeting scheduled for the coming week.
3.00 PM
AMRA meeting room
Prerna and Aditya were having a late lunch in one of the meeting rooms while discussing some of the points.
"By the way Aditya I wanted to thank you for extending the stay at company accommodation. I will try and get mine very soon.." said Prerna..
"Don't be ridiculous Prerna, do you think I am blind to not see that you have been busy. So kaise time milega for house search.. HR has approved another 2 weeks. So take rest over the weekend" he said, finishing up his lunch.
That's when Kukki came down with Tanvi, interrupting their conversation.
Kukki hugged her from the side and said "Prerna, I came to wish you luck for your exam.."
Prerna took her in her embrace and thanked her. "This means a lot Kukki. Ab dekhna Prerna will pass the exam with flying colors"
"Prerna, can I leave Kukki with you for 10 minutes, I'll just go talk to the Accounts department, they wanted to meet me. Now that I am here, abhi baat kar leti hu. I am outside.." said Tanvi.
"Sure. Tab tak Kukki and hum sab lunch kar lenge.." said Prerna.
"I had lunch already. I just came to wish you.." said Kukki.
"Aapke Papa ne bhi lunch kiya ya nahi.." asked Aditya.
"He did.. Right now he is with Mehra Uncle. My tutor will also come late.. So I came here…" said Kukki.
Menaka was supposed to attend the review meeting as well to provide her input and she arrived before time.
Menaka knocked on the door and everyone turned to look at her. Aditya got up from his place and hugged her. Prerna gave her a smile but Menaka's eyes were transfixed at Kukki, who sat in Prerna's lap.
Prerna didn't fail to notice how she quitely admired Kukki, and Kukki too was smiling back at the stranger. Prerna involuntarily wrapped her hands around Kukki protectively.
Menaka broke the silence of the room. "Look, who do we have with us here. You are Kukki right?" said Menaka.
Kukki was surprised because she had never seen Menaka before. "You know me?" Kukki asked, looking a bit amused.
"I do..bhaut acche se.."
Menaka walked up to Prerna's chair and came down on her knees in front of Kukki. She opened her right hand for a handshake and said "I am Menaka.."
Kukki shook her hand and said "Hello.. nice to meet you.."
As soon as Kukki's hand touched Menaka's, she felt a rush of several emotions inside her. She kissed Kukki's hand and a tear fell on Kukki's hand.
"Aap ro rahe ho?" Kukki asked, looking concerned and she placed her hand over Menaka's face, uplifting her head. Menaka lifted her teary eyes and Kukki was quick to wipe her tears. She couldn't understand why this grown up woman she met for the first time, sitting in front of her was crying.
"Aapka bhi exam hai?" asked Kukki.
A smile crossed Menaka's lips and said "Exam tha.. but I failed.."
"You could try again. Papa says it's okay to fail.. but we must try again.." said Kukki.
"Aapke Papa sahi kehte hain, but I failed many times.." said Menaka.
Kukki looked at Menaka with a slight worry on her face and hugged Menaka still sitting in Prerna's lap. Menaka was quick to take her in a tight embrace so tight that Kukki slipped off Prerna's lap. Tears falling off her eyes behind Kukki's back.
Aditya stood aside keeping his own emotions in check watching two of his most loved humans in front of his eyes.
Prerna saw everything and all this while Prerna was absolutely uncomfortable. Though she could empathise with Menaka as a mother yearning to be with her only child because she herself was well versed with those emotions and feelings. But something about this meeting was disturbing her, like she would lose something precious. Also she remembered how much Rishabh was against letting Menaka be around Kukki, but right now they were so close that too in his absence.
'What if he gets to know?' the scary thought crossed Prerna's mind.
Kukki's voice pulled her out of her reverie.
"Ab aap kya karoge? Aap kisi se help lelo.." said Kukki to Menaka.
Menaka kissed Kukki and she looked at Prerna with eyes filled with hope before she looked back at Kukki and said "You are right. I must take a friend's help.."
Prerna was suddenly engulfed with a sudden fear as she tried to read Menaka's face to deduce what she was implying. Her eyes followed as Menaka abruptly rushed out of the cabin, followed by Aditya.
Kukki who was clueless, turned to look at Prerna who looked pale, her eyes still stuck at the door.
"Prerna Mama.."
"Huh.." said prerna pulling her attention back on Kukki.
"Why was she crying?" asked Kukki, with a sad face.
Prerna forced a smile and protectively hugged Kukki. "I don't know baby.. may be she has some problem"
"To aap unki help kar do.." said Kukki innocently.
"Prerna Mama unki help karengi to wo apne exam mein fail ho jayengi..baby" She pulled Kukki and squeezed her little frame against hers, fear of losing her daughter was evident in her voice and eyes.
Kukki broke the hug and said "To aap dono milke prepare kar lo.. then you both will pass. My school teacher says we can solve bigger problems with partner work. We do it all the time at school."
"Baby school exams and life exams are different.." said Prerna, lost in her own thoughts. Kukki narrowed her brows in confusion. She couldn't understand why everyone around her was acting differently.
Tanvi was back from her quick meeting. "Thanks Prerna, her tutor is here. Chalo Kukki.." Kukki kissed Prerna and stood next to Tanvi holding her hand.
Tanvi sensed something was not right, and she asked "All okay Prerna?"
"She is tense about her exam.." said Kukki.
"Oh the presentation. It's alright Prerna, it's just a presentation. Cheer up" said Tanvi with her hand on her shoulder. Prerna responded with a weak smile and assured her she is fine.
"I'll see you later.." said Tanvi and left with Kukki.
Prerna sat there alone for sometime gathering her thoughts together and walked out of the cabin to look for Aditya and Menaka. She knocked at his cabin and looked inside through half open door. She found them both in Aditya's cabin. Menaka sat on chair crying over her brother's shoulder, who was on his knees trying his best to console his sister.
"Do you want me to postpone the review meeting?" asked Prerna.
"No.. no need. We will be there on time. Do you mind preparing with others in the meantime" Aditya requested Prerna.
"Sure. I'll get on it right away. Take care.." Prerna took a few steps back and left the cabin.
4.30 PM
Prerna and Akash along with their teammates were waiting in the conference room when Menaka and Aditya joined them right in time. Whatever happened a while back, Prerna didn't let it affect the discussions. Several things were finalised, along with many amendments that she carefully made a note of for the final board presentation.
Menaka gave several valuable inputs and looked invested in the discussions, but she only knew that her mind was way too distracted than usual. She couldn't forget Kukki's touch, her hug or her consoling words. She already longed for her and when she met her today after ages, she was determined to go any length to get what she always believed belonged to her- Kukki. She couldn't do much when Kukki was away but now she was ready to turn every stone possible.
After a long discussion that went on for mpre than 2 hours, the meeting got over, Menaka left the office making an excuse for another meeting; Aditya went back to his cabin and Prerna along with other staff members to her workstation. She was clear in regards to her work, but on the personal front she was confused again. A feeling of guilt of wanting Kukki for herself and separating a mother-daughter in the process began to creep inside her.
7.30 pm
Wrapping her work, she picked up her stuff and left for the day. She was so lost in her own world that she didn't bother to meet Aditya or wait for Kukki. As she walked back to her accomodation, Menaka's wet eyes looking at her with a hope flashed again and again. She tried to brush aside the thought but she couldn't.
'Menaka genuinely loves Kukki, I saw that in her eyes today. But why did she look at me like that? Did she look at me hoping that I'd help her make a place for her in Kukki's life? Should I? But why? She must have done something wrong that's why she is away from her daughter. NOOO.. I am not going to feel guilty until I know the truth'
Lost in conversation with herself she kept walking aimlessly, unaware of the commotion around her.
'Who am I supposed to ask? Aditya? But he himself looked clueless that night, when Mr. Bajaj and Menaka confronted each other. Tanvi? Usey pata hoga? But wouldn't it get a bit awkward if I ask her? Mr. Bajaj? (She rolled her eyes) Haan jaise wo tumhara hi to wait kar rahe hain, kab Prerna Sharma ayegi aur apne zindagi ke sare raaz khushi se bata denge.. Ohhh God.. jitna maine socha tha ye sab ussey kahi zyada complicated nazar aa rha hai..'
She didn't realise that she walked past her destination long back. She stopped when she found a little kid in front of her requesting her to buy soap bubble maker.
Prerna smiled and came down on her knees to reach his level. "Kitne ka hai ye?" asked Prerna.
"Bas 30 rupees ka didi. Ek de du?" he asked.
"School jate ho?" Asked Prerna.
"Haan.. 5th class.."
"Arey waah.. to phir ye sab.."
"Mummy ki help karne ke liye.." said the boy.
"Ek din mein kitna earn kar lete ho?"
"4-5 roz bech leta hu.. aap loge didi? Nahi to main aage jata hu..late ho rha hai" Prerna smiled at his honesty.
"Ek kaam karo mujhe 10 dedo.."
"Sach mein didi" Prerna could see the happiness on his face. He quickly opened his backpack to take out 10 of those while Prerna looked for her wallet in her bag.
"Mere pass bas 9 hai.." said the boy holding all the bubble makers in his hand.
"Koi baat nahi to 9 dedo… aur ab calculate karke batao mujhe kitna pay karna hai inke liye.." The boy handed over all 9 bubble makers to Prerna and began calculating using all his fingers. He took some time but came up with the exact amount.
"Ye lo Rs. 270.. aur ab seedha ghar jao. 8 bajne wale hain.." He thanked Prerna and ran away.
"Naam kya hai tumhara.." Prerna screamed, from behind.
The boy stopped and shouted "Ankur.. thank you Didi.." and disappeared from her sight.
Prerna looked around and she found herself near the beach. 'I have come so far' she said to herself and decided to spend some time there before heading home.
Smell of the street food made her stomach growl and she stopped at a pav bhai stall. As she waited for her dish she felt a tug at her legs. She looked down and found Kukki's arms around her legs.
"Kukki aap yahan.. what a pleasant surprise.." said Prerna and sat down to reach Kukki's level.
"I came here with Papa.. I saw you so I came to you.." said Kukki.
"Where is your Papa?" Kukki looked back and pointed towards Rishabh who sat on a mat a little far away from the crowded place looking in their direction.
"Aap Papa ki permission leke aaye ho?" asked Prerna. Kukki smiled and nodded in affirmation.
"Good girl.. Aap kuch khaoge?" asked Prerna.
"No.. maine kha liya.. aap humare sath baithoge?" asked Kukki
"Are you sure? Aapke Papa ko acha nahi laga to?"
Kukki face palmed and said "Ohh ho Mama, I told you Papa gussa nahi karte hain. Aap chalo" Kukki dragged her to their place as soon as her order was served. Prerna reluctantly followed Kukki and stood at a distance from where Rishabh sat. Prerna found another unoccupied mat next to his and Kukki asked her to use it. Kukki ran to her father and Prerna settled herself on Kukki's mat.
Kukki hugged Rishabh from behind and said "I told you wo Prerna Mama hi hai, aap to mante bhi nahi ho.."
"Okay okay.. my bad.. I was wrong and you were right. Happy now. You left your sand house incomplete; finish nahi karna hai" said Rishabh.
"Ohh yess..."
"Kukki wait, I have something for you" Kukki stopped near her and waited with excitement. Prerna reached out to her bag and took out all 9 bubble makers.
"I bought 10 of those too.." Kukki opened her backpack and showed them to Prerna.
"Arey waahhh we got the same colors too.." said Prerna, their hands meeting for a hi-five.
"We bought these from Ankur.." said Kukki.
"Ankur the little boy.. I bought these from Ankur too.. how is this even possible" Prerna looked way more excited about the conincidence than Kukki.
Rishabh was silently smiling all this while, hearing their conversation, looking at the waves ahead.
"Papa said I can share it with other kids. Ab aap ye mere bag mein rakh do. Aur jaldi se food finish karke meri help karo.." said Kukki and got busy with her structure.
"Sure.. I'll join you in a while" said Prerna and picked up her plate.
"Aap khayenge.." Prerna asked Rishabh hesitatingly.
"Mama aap hi khao, Papa gets sick with outside food.." Kukki didn't even give him a chance to reply.
"Kukki.. focus on your work.." said Rishabh and thanked Prerna for the offer.
"I hope you are better now??" she asked, eating her pav bhaji.
"Yeah.. please enjoy your food before it gets cold." said Rishabh, his eyes at Kukki's creation.
"Hmmmm." said Prerna.
The only sound they heard was of the waves for the next few moments.
"I completed a week with AMRA today.." said Prerna breaking the silence.
"That's good.. hope you are adjusting well..." he asked.
"Ohh yes.. it's been a wonderful week.. We do have a great team and Aditya is an amazing person. I am glad to have him as my mentor.." said Prerna.
"Glad you are enjoying it. Aditya is working hard.." he said.
"He is.. he told me how close this initiative is to him…(she took a couple of seconds).. and YOU…"
When she didn't see any troubling reaction from him she continued, "Aditya told me when he visited Calcutta right after he decided to start AMRA… (she took a small pause) he also told me about… (She wasn't sure if she should say it but she did) about Ara.. it was her dream project.." Prerna stopped and waited for a while.
After a long pause he said "Yes.. it was her project.. she did leave quite a few incomplete matters behind her.. I hope I..We can do justice with everything she left behind." Rishabh was just blurting out his thoughts lost in his own world, his gaze glued on Kukki.
"AMRA is just great.. she will be very proud of all of you for doing this.." said Prerna
"I hope so.." he said in a low voice.
Prerna decided to not take this topic any further because she knew it affected all three of them and they were quiet again for quite a long time.
"My sand house breaks again and again.." Kukki's voice laced with frustration grabbed their attention. Both Prerna and Rishabh reached her either sides at the same time and worked on Kukki's sand house. Kukki joined them too and soon all three of them built her 'Sand House'. Prerna build a beautiful sand fence around it.
After a while standing between the two of them, Kukki held their hands as they stood looking at the structure.
"This is the most beautiful sand house we have ever made.. haina Papa.."
"I agree.." said Rishabh as he picked her in his arms.
"Thank you Mama for making my house so beautiful. I loved it.." Kukki asked Prerna to come near and planted a long kiss on her forehead.
Prerna kissed her back and said, "We can make it more often…"
"Promise..??" said Kukki.
"Kukki enough for the day baby. Ghar nahi jana hai? Ms. Sharma must be tired too.. right Ms. Sharma.." Rishabh interrupted before Prerna could speak.
Prerna didn't fail to realise what he just did. He stopped her again from making any promises to Kukki, like he did back in Calcutta.
'Please don't make promises you can't keep..' words he said to her back in Calcutta, echoed in her mind.
"Right Mr. Bajaj. I am tired, I must head home.." said Prerna, without letting him know how much his words hurt her. Again.
"We'll drop you at the guest house.." said Rishabh.
"It's okay Mr. Bajaj. I'll walk back or take a ride..aapko pareshan hone ki zarurat nahi hai" said Prerna, she wanted to be alone for sometime.
"It's late and I am not taking any trouble.. guest house is on our way. So please.."
"Chalo na Mama, we'll drop you.."
Prerna agreed when Kukki insisted and followed them to the parking area.
Rishabh kept all the stuff back while Kukki settled herself on the back seat with Prerna. Rishabh shaking his head smiled at Kukki and took the driver's seat. Within minutes, Kukki was fast asleep in Prerna's lap and there was silence till they stopped outside the guest house.
9.00 pm
Rishabh came out of the car and Prerna helped settle Kukki in the front seat. Rishabh put the seat belt around Kukki and faced Prerna closing the door.
"Thank you.." she walked towards the entrance.
"Ms. Sharma.. wait" Prerna stopped but she didn't turn back to look at him.
"I know it was rude when I interrupted you and Calcutta mein bhi I must have sounded a bit harsh. I wanted to apologise that day, but we had to leave. Kukki is a bit too sensitive about people around and reacts very strongly to changes around her. We both know you two can't keep meeting like this all the time as you have your commitments and we are okay with it, Kukki too knows that all this is not permanent. But she is a child and it's too easy for her to feel attached with people she loves. Aur shayad mujhe ye batane ki zarurat nahi hai what she feels for you. I also know you genuinely care for her, so I hope aap samjhengi that I am just trying to keep her away from any sudden changes in her life that I know can impact her in a negative way.."
"I know Mr. Bajaj and I understand; thank you for the ride. Good night" said Prerna and walked away.
Rishabh stood there till she was inside the building. He ran his hand through his hair, and got in the car and drove back home.
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