Chapter 51
“What is the progress of the new wing of kitchen, Hosiyaar?” Ruqaiya Begam asked while going through the cost reports swiftly. Hosiyaar Khan is the right hand and eyes of Ruqaiya Begam; so all the new arrangements being done in Harem has to be supervised physically by him on her behalf. “You need not to worry, Begam Sahiba. I got it covered.” He assured.
“Well…” Ruqaiya did not picked up her eyes. “What about the appointments of the Hindu cooks?”
“Hindu cooks are usually not ready to work in Mughal Harem; maybe a little persuasion and pressurization will work. Also Hindu slaves are not unavailable.” Hosiyaar reported. “I hope the kitchen wing will be fully functional prior to next week.”
“Good…” A slight sarcasm touched Ruqaiya’s lips.
“Begam Sahiba, should I send those new cooks and workers to you?”
Ruqaiya looked at him, then shook her head. “Send them to Jodha Begam. I am not going to involve myself anymore.”
Hosiyaar did not suppress the snigger. “As if you are any less involved!”
The accountants of Harem was sitting in front of her throne, Ruqaiya handed the reports to them. “Managing Harem involved certain number of duties, Hosiyaar. Entertaining the favourite Begam of the Emperor is not one of them. I have arranged the place, appointed the architects and took care of the expenses and budget. How Jodha Begam will let them work is not my call.”
“With due respect Malika, I must say that the Hindu Begam has already squeezed a lot from the treasury in her first month!” An accountant said in a buttery voice. “Already a lot is spent for her temple and that kitchen! Seriously, when His Majesty married a Hindu princess we thought she will live quietly in a corner, but here she is...”
“You are paid for recording the financial expenses. Not for commenting on a respectable queen.” Ruqaiya coldly glared. “Taqliya!”
After the room was empty, Hosiyaar came a little closer. “I beg your pardon, My Lady. But she was not wrong!”
Ruqaiya smiled a little. “How His Majesty wants to spend his money is not my call, Hosiyaar.”
“But for a Hindu queen…”
“Don’t.” Ruqaiya raised a hand. “No need to discuss further on her.”
“Not discussing about her is not a way to stop her, Ruqaiya Begam! It is just a way of hiding the truth from the eyes.” Suddenly a familiar voice came from the door.
“Maham Anga…” Ruqaiya smirked lazily. “Have you forgotten the basic courtesy of meeting the empress nowadays?”
Maham Anga chuckled and came inside. “Pardon, Begam Sahiba. Your ignorance to the reality surprises me sometimes. Here the base of your throne is shaking, and you are all about courtesy?”
“Weeds and parasites fears of losing their place, Maham Anga. The banyan tree does not.” Ruqaiya Begam replied sternly. “How are you today?”
“What do you mean?”
“I heard you were sick? Could not even attend Marium Makani’s function! Must be very serious then?” Ruqaiya smirked a little. “It is not uncommon though. Who has a son like Adham Khan is bound to have these types of headaches every now and then!”
Maham smiled. “Ruqaiya Begam, you need not to be worried about Adham. Currently you have a bigger enemy. And surprisingly you are making a different kitchen for that very woman! What are you? Her warden?”
“I am perfectly aware of what I am and what I am doing.” Ruqaiya told in a cold voice. “Don’t waste your great advices here, it would be useless.”
Maham Anga smiled. “I am not giving advice, Begam Sahiba. I am concerned about the changed direction of wave in the politics of Harem. How you want to maintain your personal relationship with your husband is up to you. I am no one to poke my nose into that. But when the matter goes beyond that level, as a part of Mughal Zenana I have right to come to the Padshah Begam to talk about it.”
“Well… What do you want to say?” Ruqaiya asked in a nonchalant voice.
“I am really concern about the upcoming Hindu supremacy in Harem.” Maham Anga answered.
“There is no particular religious supremacy in Mughal Harem, Maham Anga.” Ruqaiya said in a firm voice. “This is the residence of all the women who are Mughal or under Mughal shelter. Emperor Jalaluddin Mohammad is the one and only supreme of this place. There is a very clear and vivid hierarchy maintained here which ends to the supremacy of the Emperor. And it will be maintained till the date I am in charge of this place.”
Maham Anga chuckled. “You have a great management skill, Begam Sahiba. But your political skill is really not enough! You believe that the procedural hierarchy of this Harem can be maintained in reality? Begam Sahiba, open your eyes… Teams are already being divided, the field of rivalry is going to form very soon. If you cannot eliminate the seed of rivalry from the very beginning, it will end your reign completely.”
“I am really not pro into the dirty politics like you, Maham Anga, so care to explain?” Ruqaiya pinched. Maham Anga did not mind the pinch though. “The picture is here very clear, Begam Sahiba. A Hindu princess first came to the Harem as a queen. First she assures that she will be practising the Hindu rituals here for lifelong. Then she claims for a temple right inside the Mughal premise. Now she is claiming for a complete different kitchen. Day after today she will be wanting a complete different portion for her. And then she will start implying the rules and regulations of her parental house over yours. Is it so hard to see, Ruqaiya Begam?”
Ruqaiya Begam started laughing. “I never knew you had such an imagination power, Maham Anga.”
“This is called foreshadowing, My dear Lady!” Maham Anga chuckled. “I have seen this world three times more than you, I can read the book by its cover. What do you think, everyone is so happy and peaceful under your reign in this Harem and so a Hindu lady does not matter? Begam Sahiba, no one in this world is ever happy. Think about the Hindu slaves of this places. Think about the converted concubines. Take a look at the number of Hindu maids here. If you add them up, they are almost double than all the Muslim workers of this Harem. You think those people are very happy under your bound regulation? No! They want a way-out. They want something to stand up against your rules. When Jodha Begam will provide them that, they will take no time in turning against you. In no time you will see two entire different teams inside the small world of Harem. Then the team of majority will slowly take the lead. Do you seriously need that?”
Ruqaiya Begam stared at her. For a moment she looked really serious as a shadow of gloom played on her face. Then she smiled gently. “For all I know, I don’t need any extra concern of advice from you. And I know you are not here for telling me these. What is your intention, Maham Anga? Just cut the sweet talk and jump into the real topic.”
“My intention is very clear, Begam Sahiba. I would die before letting this palace turn into a Hindu community hall.” Maham Anga said in a mild tone.
Ruqaiya smiled again. “What do you want me to do?”
“You are the only one who can cut the wings of Jodha Begam.” Maham Anga tried to motivate her.
“Seriously!” Ruqaiya’s eyes sparked in sarcasm while she got up from the seat. “How?”
“You leave it to me. I just need your assistance and free will.” Maham Anga sniggered wickedly. “I assure you, I will throw that snob Hindu Princess out of this palace very soon!”
“I am sure you can do that.” Ruqaiya came closer to Maham Anga and look into her eyes. “However, did it occur to you that what will happen to the treaty with Rajputs after that?”
“Rajputs are now the servants of Mughals, Begam Sahiba. We don’t need to worry about them.”
Ruqaiya smiled tenderly. “You know what, Rajputs are not servants. They are allies. They are not a cattle of domestic animals of your farm as you like to think. They have their own honour, and our emperor respects that honour. This marriage alliance is a sign of that respect, and throwing the queen out of the palace will be equivalent of breaking that alliance. Whoever will even try to do that, will be categorised as the enemy of Mughals. I am a Mughal, Maham Anga; I won’t do anything against the favour of the emperor. It is up to you whether you want to be labelled as an enemy or not.”
“You are seeing the positive part of the alliance. But you are not thinking about the upcoming future! Did not you hear what I tell you?” Maham Anga raised voice in excitement.
Ruqaiya Begam chuckled. “Tell me something, Maham Anga, even if Jodha Begam becomes the head of this Harem how this will harm you anyway? Are you sure it is not anything related to the insult you got from her at her first day in Agra?”
“I am always a well-wisher of this dynasty, Ruqaiya Begam. I keep my personal vehemence far apart.”
“Of course.” Ruqaiya nodded with the same sarcastic smile. “Like always you are seeing the benefit of the Emperor in this case as well. You don’t want him to give importance to the Hindu Begam because it might increase the power of Hindu community. You want to throw her out. You want to ruin the relationship of Amer and the Mughals after that. Not only Jodha Begam, you also want to wipe out the traces of Bhagwant Das or Maan Singh or other Rajput allies so that they cannot increase the Hindu majority in the court. You want to ruin this whole marriage alliance and the motto of it because it might endanger the position of some of the Mughal officers like your stupid son! Of course, you are seeing the well-being of my Emperor here!”
“Ruqaiya Begam!” Maham Anga’s face was red in suppressed rage. “Don’t try to defame my loyalty towards Jalal!”
“You know what is the problem? You think you are doing good to him by going against him. But I cannot. I have faith on my emperor. So in every single smallest decisions he make, be it to build a temple in Harem or arrange a new kitchen, I will give my best to fulfil that. No matter what I dislike, or how I feel, I will not go against his wish. Not a single moment in my life.” Ruqaiya uttered in a firm voice. “So Maham Anga, never ever dare to come to me with all these fake concerns and ideas. I won’t tolerate this over and over.”
“Fine!” Maham Anga got up with fury. “You live here in your comfortable cocoon. I will do whatever I have to!”
She was about to get off, suddenly Ruqaiya Begam called her back. “Maham Anga…”
“Yes My Lady?” Maham Anga turned back.
“About what you said. Two teams being formed in Harem. A religious rivalry is going to take place etc…” Ruqaiya came closer to Maham Anga and uttered in a very cold tone. “This Harem is not a place of foul politics, Maham Anga. Everyone here lives in peace despite all the differences between them, and all of them contribute to maintain the harmony. So God forbid, if even a twig of religious excitement comes from outside to hamper that peace and harmony of my place, I will not take it lightly. I will come straight to you, Maham Anga, and believe me, no one will be able to spare you. It is a tough time for you already, with your stupid son and all, so don’t ruin the last trace of reputation you have stored for yourself in your whole life over an ordinary queen. That’s my advice to you!”
Maham Anga stared at the young empress’s face for a moment, then without even greeting her she turned back and left; each of her steps radiating fury of her heart.
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The imperial Harem looks completely different at noon. The glory of wealth and sparkle of beauty dims away by the touch of simplicity. The elegant ladies of the harem leaves their cover of royal etiquette for some time and spends the time like whatever they want. Maybe a little nap after lunch, or sitting at the balcony of palace to enjoy the afternoon sun, this part of time is their own property. But what most of the women love most is to sit together and talk. At this particular time of everyday, the ladies break themselves in smaller groups and sit with each other with board-games and a lot of gossips. This noontime gathering at the grand hall of Harem is one of the most interesting view of this fort which proves how much alive this place actually is.
Jodha had never thought to join this afternoon gathering before. Rather she did not like the environment at all. It always looked like there is nothing but hatred and jealously in this whole gathering, everyone is trying to put the other down, everyone is trying to insult the next people in some way, there is no healthy relationship in any of the group. Jodha despised the gossips, detested the nasty inner politics polluting each of the mind; but most importantly she could not stand any of the ladies. Under the mask of their royal elegance and protocol each of them has an raw, uncivilized, nasty core. Jodha always put herself in much higher standard than that. But something changed after visiting Marium Makani’s palace. For the first time in this palace Jodha has seen something more than an empty shell of wealth. She has witnessed the life in this fort. She has understood that the energy of life belongs to every corner of the whole fort. Maybe people has different perspective to that, but at the end of the day it is the same energy which keep everyone together. Just how she has witnessed the picture of a perfect family among the different people in Marium Makani’s palace, maybe she will be able to see another form of a family too in this nastiness of Harem. Where people gossip, try to put down each other, plays inner politics for keeping others down, but at the end of the day, all are bonded to each other, all are together when anything bad tells upon. Maybe they are too loud, raw and rude, but at the end of the day all of them are individuals with their own stories… and who is Jodha to judge them without even knowing that story? Maybe it’s a better idea to come down from the pedestal of intellect and standard which she has set for herself and mix a little in the real ground, where people laugh, cry and fight together… How would she earn the respect she deserves if she does not win the acceptance? How would she be able to feel at home if she can not be one of them?
So leaving all the judgemental thoughts behind, Jodha had come to the grand hall at the afternoon, sat beside Nazma Begam. She is still ignored by the ladies here, but after the incident of that function everyone has started to fear her ability a bit it seems. So instead of pinching her with sharp words, Nazma Begam concentrated on the domino, Ruksana got involved with the pot of betel leaves and Gulrakh Begam suddenly remembered to appreciate the embroidery of Ruksana Begam’s veil.
“Hello.” Jodha tried to start conversation with her usual dignified yet vibrant demeanour. “Thought to come and have a talk with you people. Can you imagine, I have been here for weeks and still don’t know most of you?”
Gulrakh and Ruksana chose to keep quiet. However, Nazma Begam could not help herself. “Oh we are grateful that you have come to talk with us! But maybe we don’t belong to your standard so you should choose high.”
“I don’t know, I feel you people are perfectly eligible to be excellent talking partners!” Jodha said laughing.
“Seriously Jodha Begam.” Gulrakh Begam spoke this time with a touch of seriousness in her voice. “Look, we know now that you are not any common princess, you have bigger aspects and ambitions and so you are willing to play with Ruqaiya Begam by directly making Shahenshah your pawn. But we are living here under Ruqaiya Begam’s supervision for a long time. So you won’t have us on your side in this game. So you can drop the act and go somewhere else.”
Jodha smiled. “Gulrakh Begam, why do we consider each and everything of this world is a part of a ploy or a game? Who am I to play with someone when fate is playing the biggest game with us being pawn? Believe me, I have no intention. Just want to talk.”
“Why would you talk to us?” Nazma Begam said. “You are close to the Emperor, Salima Begam is your friend; go to them. We are the most common Begam, not worthy of your time, understood?”
“Don’t consider yourself so less, Nazma Begam. We all are standing at the same plain, no one is common, no one is special.” Jodha said. “Look if you don’t want me to join you, then I have nothing to say. But don’t say that I cannot join because you people are not worthy or whatsoever.”
Nazma Begam kept quiet, though Ruksana talked now. “What are you saying, you are not special? A separate kitchen is being made for you… Emperor takes care of your wishes. What else do you want to be special?”
Jodha laughed. “Emperor is kind-hearted enough to take care of everyone. I don’t think I need extra care of the Emperor to feel myself special or worthy. I believe only my entity, my faith and work can weigh my worth, not what the others think of me. And Ruksana Begam, I don’t want to be special right now. I want to be one of you. Now can I have a Paan please?”
That’s how Jodha had mingled with the gang of women. Starting with exchange of Paan, then one or two games of card while discussing petty girly stuffs like ornaments which followed by the stories of her own land, she effortlessly became one of the most attractive part of the gathering. The other queens also joined them in curiosity, because everyone has a keen interest in the Hindu Begam. Not everyone was nice, some of them found their enjoyment in taunting her; though Jodha did not feel bad for a moment. There is a satisfaction of having a distinct entity and still being able to mingle in a crowd. She was content with that feeling.
Suddenly a small interruption changed the mode of the incident. A new lady arrived at the place. While yawning in front of everyone indecently she shouted out- “Where the hell is Hosiyaar Khan? How can the cattle of Harem start this pandemonium at the middle of noon under his supervision? Is there no discipline left in this Harem? All gone with the arrival of the Rajputani?”
Jodha stared at the woman. If there were a yardstick of beauty, maybe this woman would be at the top. But she does not have the soothing softness. It seems she has taken a lot of care to be beautiful, but in the process have lost the flair of innocence. Her seductive smirk may kill a lot of men, but that does not have the elegance and dignity of a royal lady.
“Gauhar Bai.” Ruksana Begam whispered at Jodha’s ears. “The head courtesan. Favourite of His Majesty. Thinks herself more than a queen.”
Jodha looked at her with unbelieving eyes. Meanwhile Gauhar Bai moved towards them and bowed in front of Jodha in a most casual and disrespectful way. “Salam Hindu Begam Sahiba, I would really appreciate if you people keep your voices down while chitchatting. Gauhar Bai has to get up in early morning for practice, she has to sleep late at night for entertainment of His Majesty. If she does not get her afternoon nap, pigmentation and black spots will ruin her buttery skin.”
“We are not responsible for keeping your ‘buttery’ skin intact dear, go and press the pillow on your ear.” Gulrakh Begam commented harshly.
“Well, I might have go to Padshah Begam then.” Gauhar Bai yawned.
“Yes, go to her. Let us see what can you do and from where do you find courage of insulting the queens. Now go away!” Nazma Begam shouted in irritation.
“One must not forget that the emperor hardly knows those queens. Someone can take the limelight for an evening by impressing everyone with her mediocre song, but everyone knows that His Majesty needs Gauhar Bai.” The imprudent woman left the hall without showing courtesy to anyone.
“This woman!” Gulrakh Begam sighed. “Only because she sings well and Shahenshah likes her, Ruqaiya Begam bears her tantrums. If I were the head of the Harem I would chop her tongue and feed them to dogs by now.”
“Don’t say these, Gulrakh Begam. She is Shahenshah’s darling.” Nazma Begam twisted lips. “Shahenshah had gifted her diamond ring from his own finger, remember?”
“What are you saying?” Jodha interrupted their conversation. “Shahenshah like her? This woman?”
“Oh yeah. Generally Shahenshah does not let any girl to dance over everyone’s head, but this one has her magic.” Ruksana chuckled. “There is a reason Ruqaiya Begam cannot lose her. It is not easy to find a combination of buttery skin, melodious voice and splendid dance. And you know what, she knows tricks of making him happy!” She whispered with a wink.
“What are you saying? Shahenshah is not like that… he is…” Jodha uttered in a confused voice.
“He is what?” Nazma Begam laughed out. “What do you think, he will not look at any other woman ever since you married him? Begam Jodha, you have to understand that queens are there beside him for show-off; the emperor gets his pleasure from the concubines like her who are trained to entertain the men.”
“Yeah! Yeah you are right…” Jodha tried to smile it off, but her eyes was still clouded with the ghost of disbelief. “Could you people please excuse me for today?” She said and left the hall abruptly.
“Poor girl! Yet to see so much of this Harem. One evening singing to him, one lunch together and she was thinking that he will look at no one ever again… It feels bad to break the bubble.” The other queens gossiped and laughed.
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Jodha was trying to stay calm, thinking with her logic. She was trying to convince herself that what she had heard just sometimes before is indeed a very common practice. She had heard a lot worse about Mughal Harem while being at Amer, her imaginations about the Mughal Emperor’s lust had no bound of dignity back then when she did not know him. Then why a common fact of a normal imperial lifestyle is hurting her so much? Why she is feeling so heart-broken? Because here the emperor’s face, her husband’s face overlap with that young man whom she have submitted her heart? Because till the day Jodha has not been ready to come out of the happy dream of that broken hut and accept the reality how it is? Still somewhere inside her heart Jodha yearns for that simple man who does not match in this lifestyle? Why? Has not she seen that same man as an emperor? Has not she felt that no one in this whole world can be enough eligible to be an emperor like him? Has not she seen his eyes, the suppressed love for her in those eyes which takes her back in that happy dream in a moment? Why would she cry for something she already has?
Or is Jodha upset because she is not the only woman in his life? Is this a twinge of jealousy which is burning her heart?
Princess Jodha Bai is getting jealous of an imprudent courtesan because she sings well and the emperor likes her voice? Is there anything more demeaning that this? That girl is a paid entertainer; she is not Jodha; she is not the queen of his heart. How can Jodha doubt it? It is a insult to his honest love for her. Is she getting mad or what?
Even after scolding herself for being so impatient, Jodha could not stop tears flowing from her eyes and ended up crying on her pillow.
The frequency of her sob had reduced when a sympathetic hand touched her shoulder. “Rajkunwari Sa!” Moti murmured in concern. “what happened? Those ladies told you something mean?”
Jodha got up and wiped her tears. “Nothing!”
Moti touched her cheek. “Something has happened of course. Your tears are more stubborn than you. They don’t fall easily.”
Jodha sighed. “Sometimes I keep on thinking what is happening to me!”
“That’s not tough to answer.” Moti smiled. “Love is happening to you. You are floating and drowning in the sea of love, over and over again. Tell me honestly, you are crying because you miss him?”
Jodha smiled. “You tell me something. Why people claims right on their love if love is selfless? I know he loves me and I have faith on my love. I know suspecting his love is an insult to him. Still why sometimes it feels that I have no right on what I have got; anyone can come and snatch that from me?”
“Rajkunwari Sa…” Moti touched her chin. “If you have loved someone from core, then nobody can snatch that love from you. He will be always yours even when he is not around. You know that. You have seen that in your own life!”
“I don’t know Moti.” Jodha sighed. “When I had nothing I was content in love. But now when I am at the step of whatever I have always dreamt of, why I fear now? Is it because now I want to claim my right in love? Is that mean my love is not pure?”
“O God!” Moti suddenly started giggling.
“You are laughing at me?”
Moti stopped smiling and held her hand. “Rajkunwari Sa, you are a human; you don’t have to measure your love all the time in a yardstick of purity! This is your life, not a test. You are allowed to be imperfect, to question your choices. It’s okay if you want him. It’s okay if you claim his love back the way you love him. It’s okay if you don’t want to share him with anyone else even physically, despite knowing he is all yours in heart. This is a phase of love, My Lady! A phase where you feel insecure, you want him closer, you miss him always even when he is in front of you. You get jealous because you want him for you and you only.”
“You sure?” Jodha smiled through her tears.
Moti touched her shoulder. “You miss him?”
Jodha nodded.
“You want him now?”
Jodha lowered her eyes. “Yes I want him… I want him back…”
“Then get up and leave all those hesitations behind. Keep aside all your poetic theories about going with flow of destiny and all and step up.” Moti patted on her shoulder. “Rajkunwari Sa, I know you have read a lot and have a lot of knowledge; but when it comes to this practical things, I am more experienced and you have to listen to me. Understood?”
“Hang on Moti…” Jodha smiled. “I really want my love back. But how will I find him in the mighty emperor?”
“What?” Moti frowned.
“Will you pass me the writing pad Moti?” Jodha asked. “And if possible can you bring Rahim here from Salima Begam’s palace?”
“Of course. But what is it?” Moti nudged.
“I had given some condition to him. Maybe he has forgotten them.” Jodha said while picking up the quill. “When he fulfils those, I will get my love back!”
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It was just like another ordinary day. Just another colourless morning after the night full of fairy-tale. Dream is precious. But waking up in reality is much important. And Emperor Jalaluddin is a practical man who does not regret his reality, rather carves his path of dream through it. While he was in his mother’s place, and the very domestic activity like eating lunch seemed to be the most dreamy moment of his life as his eyes were never tired of sipping the wine of passion from those beautiful eyes, Jalal had prayed so that this dream is never over. But again, the precious dreams are only a part of an illusion, reality is inevitable. So that moment passed in an eye-blink, thrashing him again on the ground, with the yearning of the gift of another moment like this from the next days…
That night had come like a fairy-tale, with a vivid colourful dream of his Purnima Bai. Then the night also passed, the blushing ray of the dawn fell on Jalal’s bed like a shy new bride. A beautiful tune of Bhajan came floating in the air… a voice from far away, but the melody churning inside his own heart…
“Bana bana dhurana jaau,
kitahu chup gaye Krishna Murari…”
Jalal stood at the side of the window, his thirsty eyes yearning to see one glimpse of the singer, but alas, the physical eyes do not have the scope of visibility like the eyes of the heart. While those inner eyes could easily peep into her little temple at a corner of the palace, where she is sitting in front of her deity, her open wet hairs touching the floor, those beautiful purest eyes drowned in devotion, his useless physical eyes kept on waiting eagerly for a single glance. Where are you, My Beloved! Where should I go to find you?
The dream of the morning also worn out as the shy soft gleam of dawn was slowly replaced by the blazing heat of the mighty sun. The daily routine of the emperor compels to forget about the dreams for a while. The thoughts of politics takes over the yearning of the lover. Then there are the moments, the small recess times between the tight schedule, when his eyes unmindfully starts searching for the familiar face at that window, that old lover again starts stealing the moments from the emperor, and often the very important political thought gets side-lined by the mindless thought of the lover; and quite funnily, the mind of the emperor pampers him.
Today the scenario was different though. Jalal was discussing about something with his faithful Abdul. Suddenly an unexpected visit changed the whole mood.
“Shahenshahhhh…” Little Rahim ran inside with a scroll in his hand. “I have something for you!”
“Khan-E-Khana! What a surprise! It seemed nowadays you have forgotten me!” Jalal smiled and picked him up.
Rahim looked sharply. “Who said? It is you who do not come to my room anymore!”
“Yeah true!” Jalal looked sadly. “I am guilty in your court. Do you have any punishment for me?”
“You are the emperor, you punish people. Why should I punish you?” Rahim argued.
“Well, how can I win in a debate with you?” Jalal laughed out. “Khan-E-Khana, if you don’t mind, may I end the meeting with Abdul now before I have enough time to play with you?”
“No no… I am not here to play with you!” Rahim protested quickly. “I am here with a very important work! A very secret work!” He whispered.
“Very secret work?” Jalal laughed. “Abdul, could you please excuse me and Khan-E-Khana for a moment?”
“Sure My Lord.” Abdul smiled and took off. Jalal pulled Rahim closer. “Now, Khan-E-Khana, what is the secret work?”
“I have a secret message.” Rahim whispered while taking something out from his waistband. “Jodha Begam told this is a very important message which can be handed only to you!”
“O God!” Jalal chuckled taking the little piece of scroll from Rahim. Another scroll, another letter… a bunch of words from her heart… the untold words which are still floating in the never-ending silence between them are caught and printed carefully in this piece of paper. Jalal sighed with a smile. How much untold words do you intend to pile upon me, My Lady!
“Ok, you can read it now. Though it looks like she is not going to give you that dagger.” Rahim said sadly.
“Well, that’s what she told?”
Rahim pouted. “No, but she gave me this letter and told me to give it to you. Maybe it is about that only. Alright, now can I go to play?”
“Oh Khan-E-Khana, your duty is not over yet.” Jalal smiled mischievously. “A messenger always reads the letter…”
Rahim looked at him helplessly, almost like crying. “No… I don’t want to…”
“You cannot turn back to your duty, Khan-E-Khana. Read it.” Jalal used his kingly voice.
Rahim opened the letter and looked pathetic. “This… this is hard!”
“Try it…”
“M…M Y L O R D…” Rahim was literally breaking each alphabet. “I… K N O… know… you are a m…man of V A R I O U S E N G A G E M E N T….” He suddenly became impatient and angry. “Why don’t you read your own letter!!”
“Ok Ok don’t get angry!” Jalal smiled. “I will read my letter when you will teach me reading. It was the pact between us remember? But you have no time for me.”
“I can teach you but you have to promise me you will be a good boy and not do any mischief. And you will pay attention and won’t try to flee from the lessons!” It looked like Rahim imitated his mother’s words but he was deadly serious.
“Hahaaha… Rahim!” Jalal squeezed him with affection. “Your father was in vain teaching me alphabets but I know you will succeed. But what about the letter? I cannot trust anyone other than you to read this highly confidential message.”
“Ok…” It seemed Rahim was having pity on Jalal, so he started reading the letter again. After almost an hour of long struggle Jalal could almost fathom the overall meaning of the letter from Rahim’s broken words.
My Lord,
I know you are a man with various engagements. And also kind-hearted enough to understand the plight of this poor woman. So after spending two sleepless nights after our last talk I am deadly frightened that you have already decided to give me away the dagger forever. Believe me, the weight of the dagger is crushing on my heart like the burden of those long nights in Amer… My Lord, who will release that burden from my heart other than you? Hope you have not forgotten the condition of getting back that dagger…
Yours Faithfully,
Jodha Bai
Jalal looked at the letter for some time, then he started laughing loudly. Rahim looked offended. “Why are you laughing?” He asked angrily.
“Oh Rahim!” Jalal ruffled his hairs. “You are a gem you know that? Now go and play! And don’t forget to bring the reply of Jodha Begam.”
“Where is your reply?”
“Reply will be sent to her very soon. Now go go!” Jalal patted on his shoulder before calling out loud in his majestic voice. “Abdul…”
Abdul came in almost with Rahim going out. “Salaam Shahenshah… Should we continue now?” He asked but Jalal raised his hand. “Later, Abdul… I am going to assign you with a confidential task, and I need your word that you won’t question me.” He smiled mischievously.
Abdul smiled. He has enough wit to guess there is something more in the relationship of the emperor and the princess of Amer other than just political marriage; he had been the witness of His Majesty’s craziness for a glimpse of the princess once upon a time. So he could easily guess what will be the confidential task all about.
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Imperial Harem is not a new place to Abdul. When he was the personal attendant of the Majesty he used to come frequently here as a mode of communication between emperor and the queens. Though entering inside the building is prohibited for any man, the messengers of the emperor can meet the eunuchs or the maids of the queens from outside to deliver the message. Also he had to face Padshah Begam once or twice before from behind the curtain in crucial cases; other high ranked queens also have the right to meet with him from behind curtain… so he is never uncomfortable around this place where the women of the dynasty reign with full control and power. However, today the case was different. Because perhaps for the first time in his life Abdul had become dumbstruck like an idiot.
Because, first of all, the work assigned to him by the emperor was a bit shady. As an attendant Abdul can deliver the official messages, sometimes can supervise the porters to deliver precious artefacts sent as sign of honour for the queens, even can take care of the grave internal matters between Harem and the outer world on behalf of the emperor. But standing in front of two eunuchs under the sun with a 4x4 cover in hand and a lot of questions juggling inside the head, was not a very pleasing experience.
Secondly, the interviews of the guards were not enough, and the chief attendant of the Harem, the tall, skinny, shrewd and wicked-looking eunuch Hosiyaar Khan came. And as expected, his brows knitted together when Abdul confessed he was intending to deliver something to queen Jodha from the Emperor himself. There was nothing to be ashamed of, but Abdul felt as if Hosiyaar will cut him into pieces with his sharp look. Abdul is used to more vicious looks in outer world though, and they don’t frighten him at all, so he could easily ignore this and complete his work. However, he was not ready for the next blow the destiny had stored for him.
Because, as per the protocol, Jodha Begam’s special eunuch and head attendant had come to receive him. Gulal Khan is an old servant of Harem, not an unknown face. While handling the covered thing to him, his eyes casually fell on the head attendant who was standing behind her. The girl also picked up her lowered eyes and looked directly at his eyes from under the half-cover of her veil. And for a moment Abdul felt as if the ground under his feet trembled, the breeze of the river bank has started passing through him for no reason at all, and the whole world has become a bit blurred.
Are those eyes of a random maid? Or a fairy of the heaven has fallen down in the earth and took shelter in this palace full of sinners?
This is not the first time Abdul is seeing a woman. Being a serviceman of Mughal Empire for a long time and serving the emperor from very close he has been enjoying all the regal luxuries a wealthy Mughal happen to experience at his youth. Spending times with various women is one of them. But never ever in his whole life he has experienced something like that.
The head-attendant of the queen was standing still, there was no sign of feelings or excitement in her. But Abdul’s stubborn heart did not let his disobedient eyes to sneak into her face again and again despite all the protocols. She is dressed in a plain Lahenga like common Hindu women. Her fair, soft palms are visible at the corner of the veil; wrist is adorned with two precious bracelets, a gold ring is shining in one of those long, lean and delicate fingers which are carefully holding the corner of the veil. The blue veil is covering her head, touching her beautiful brows like mystical haze. And those eyes, those enchanting, mystic eyes, kept on playing hide-and-seek with his heart. Abdul could not help gazing and gazing, forgetting about the natural time flow, and as a result looked like a complete fool.
“Abdul Sahib!” Even Gulal Khan acquired the courage of shouting at him because of it. And his squawking voice somewhat helped Abdul to reach in the ground again. “Have you any message to deliver?”
Had he? Had he any message? Abdul cursed himself for forget the only thing he had to remember. If the emperor fires him right now he cannot blame anyone.
“Abdul Sahib!” Gulal asked again. Abdul kept on standing like an idiot, trying hard to remember the message. “A…actually… a letter is attached with this itself, and… he had told to… to…”
“Never mind…” The head attendant started talking, and Abdul felt the skip of heartbeat right then. Those beautiful eyes were looking directly at him now. Her voice is firm, just as commanding as her gaze. Abdul has talked to many head-attendants of many queens in his lifetime. Did anyone ever made him dumbstruck like this?
“Never mind.” She was talking. “The queen will know what he has sent as message. I thank you very much on behalf of Queen Jodha Bai for delivering this to her. Please inform the emperor that she has got the package he wanted her to accept.”
“Sure…” Abdul managed to come up with a single phase normally before bidding them and turn around. He kept on walking on the pebbled path of the garden, but his mind was still floating in somewhere else. That mystical blue veil, those soft beautiful hands, those delicate fingers, the enigmatic eyes and her beautiful voice… how can they drown a ruthless soldier like Abdul in the mirage of enchant in a single glimpse?
What was her name? Maybe a common Hindu name. Or maybe something he never has heard of. Maybe as mystical as her eyes. Or maybe something he has not imagined. Knowing her name will not be tough. But Abdul does not want to know her name from any other source. He just wants to wander in his dreams with the shadow of her at his side… The dream where he has a home, a family, a cocoon of happiness which wraps him always, protects him from all the evils outside.
Those homes are found in dreams only for persons like Abdul. While walking in a pace, suddenly his crutch skidded on a pebble, and he regained his balance after a struggle. In those vulnerable moments Abdul could cry out in frustration, but today he could laugh only. What he could do, other than laughing at his own fate? What can a cripple do other than laughing at himself when his own dreams starts mocking him cruelly all the time he dares to dream?
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“Look Begam Sahiba Look!” Gulal Khan hopped in excitedly with something large in his hand. “Shahenshah has sent you a gift! O My God a huge gift!”
“Gift?”
“Yes gift.” Moti had come with Gulal. She went closer to Jodha and whispered to her ears. “Such a big package as a reply of a small letter? You are lucky!”
Jodha frowned looking at the 4x4 package that Gulal had placed safely at the nearby table. “What is in there?”
“Don’t know… Does not look like any ornament or something like that. Maybe something for your temple?” Moti said. “Or flower-vase or any musical instrument?”
“It is not that heavy.” Gulal Khan commented.
“Then…” Moti got impatient. “Don’t waste time imagining. Why don’t you open it?”
“But… he sent no reply of the letter?” Jodha asked in dejected voice. She seemed to have no interest in the big box.
“Yes, the delivery man said there is a letter attached. His Majesty had sent some message which he had apparently forgot.” Moti suddenly giggled. “What is with these messengers? Rahim does way better.”
“Abdul Sahib is not a delivery man. Once he was the personal attendant of the Emperor. Now he is the head of intelligence cycle.” Gulal reported. “It should be something very special, My Lady. Else Abdul Sahib won’t come himself to deliver it!”
“Open it Rajkunwari sa!” Moti nudged again.
With a sigh, Jodha opened the cover of the box. And she did not expect what she got to see.
A canvas.
And with some scratch on that canvas, with some splash of colour and pouring of emotions, a beautiful face is carved on the white paper.
Her face…
Jodha kept on staring with amazement. Her eyes were unknowingly getting clouded.
Is it unbelievable that the same hand which is used to hold sword can have the equal hold on the brushes too?
The slice of the memory sparked in front of eyes… The sketch which was made on a muddy floor of a hut with a piece of charcoal is standing complete on the canvas in front of her. Both are drawn by the same artist, with same amount of passion, same touch of emotion. Jodha could witness in front of her how the picture slowly coming to life through the fingers of Chandrajeet… Purnima Bai is alive in that picture. The love and passion of Chandrajeet has kept her alive, and this portrait is a proof of that!
Two drops of tears fell from Jodha’s eyes…
“Wow! What a beautiful portrait!” Moti exclaimed.
“This is not a portrait! This is me!” Jodha uttered in a silent broken voice.
You are so unpredictable, Majesty! I wanted my Chandrajeet back. You gave me Purnima instead! Or I got it wrong… you are right! Chandrajeet lives in the heart of Purnima. Purnima lives in the soul of Chandrajeet. How can anyone separate them?
“You were talking about the letter. Here it is.” Moti handed her a piece of paper attached with the cover. Jodha read. The letter is written by the royal scribe, the beautiful professional handwriting is the proof of that. But each of the word is formed from the deep of the heart of a lover…
“Jodha Begam,
You have told me that you will hand the dagger to the same person who had given it to you. Don’t know if I am capable enough to fulfil that wish of yours… maybe the long nights of yearning in between has changed that man from the core, maybe he is not that cheerful boy anymore what he used to be. But all the stories of his pain, his tears are captured in that picture. Jodha Begam, the way that dagger has been a representation of the love of your life, the way it has been more precious than your own life; maybe this picture also has been a lifeline for someone once… something he would not have traded for his own life. You had wanted something worthy enough in exchange of that dagger. You wanted the real owner of the dagger back in exchange. I don’t know how much worth this picture has, but it stores the heart of the man whom you wanted… Today I handed it over to you. Tell me, what else could have been more fit than this?
You had promised to give the dagger back to the same man who gave it you in the first place. Like I said, the tides of time has changed the man. Maybe he is not the same anymore. Maybe you won’t be able to find him in this pile of wealth and hypocrisy. Maybe you will see a complete new man. But if you give him a chance he will fill your life with everything he has stored in his heart. He will open his heart, his life, his existence for you… Won’t you give him a chance?
The real owner of the dagger will come to you right when you will be ready to give it back to him… Make your mind Jodha Begam, if you are truly prepared to hand over the representation of your dream-life to him and hold his hand instead in the ground of reality. Till then I will wait.
Waiting for your reply…
Yours sincerely,
Shahenshah Jalaluddin Mohammad”
Jodha clutched the letter close to her heart. Her eyes flooding with tears while her face was shining in the ray of happiness and content…
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