FF: Sacrifice For Immortality (Completed) - Page 17

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Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: nushy1995

That's true. 😆


But suspense ke chakkar mein Rishi ko thoda zyadi hi idiotic bana dia. Par koi nahi; choti moti inconsistency to chalta hi hain. 😎

I know... Suspense ke chakkar main Rishi ko kuch zyada hi idiotic bana diya... 😆 

Jo nahi karna chahte the, wahi kar diya 


PS. I asked for some suggestions in the stories thread... Agar koi idea hai to please do share... 

Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years ago
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Posted: 4 years ago

I asked for some suggestions in the stories thread... Agar koi idea hai to please do share... 

Abhi tak to nahi. Par agar kuch idea mile, to bata dungi. 😊

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: nushy1995

I asked for some suggestions in the stories thread... Agar koi idea hai to please do share... 

Abhi tak to nahi. Par agar kuch idea mile, to bata dungi. 😊

Sure... Agar koi idea mile to zarur batana.

Hallyumint thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Chapter 6


Ant man Nice 👌



🧐  Somehow your villain seems invincible i don't know how they will defeat him 


Chapter 7

No not bakwas. Entertaining



I can't believe Piya didn't  feel  Mo's nail near her neck.



It seems our heroes have no way out except Piya's suicide.



I'm curious how you're going to resolve that. 



Rudra now seems like a red herring. Chalo let's see smiley2


By the way what does pandulipiyan  mean ? 

Chapter 8 


If the chain and locket are joined by a mantra then should the chain be so fragile.  It should be put in a stronger mould 




Nanavati Hospital  I guess u have that in your city as well



Ant outsmarting Mo Good one 👏



Welcome back to writing. All in all a good read.


I want to know how u plan to defeat Ant 



I like the new feature u added in your FF Giving chapter Names and adding links next to them 

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Hey Alisha!!! 🤗

Good to see you after such a long time...

Chapter 6


Ant man Nice 👌

Thanks... 😊

Wahin se idea aaya tha...


🧐  Somehow your villain seems invincible i don't know how they will defeat him 

Well, he does seem invincible but then even the most powerful people have some weak point, even if a small one but they have... To, iska bhi hoga...

Chapter 7

No not bakwas. Entertaining

Thankfully...


I can't believe Piya didn't  feel  Mo's nail near her neck.

Thoda sa to creative liberty le hi sakte hain... If she would have felt Mo's nail on her neck, how would the locket have been broken?


It seems our heroes have no way out except Piya's suicide.

Oh no!! That suicide part was that the previous Daivik had destroyed herself to stop Antakasur. Yahan par they will make a plan to stop him...


I'm curious how you're going to resolve that. 

Ab kuch na kuch to karenge hi...


Rudra now seems like a red herring. Chalo let's see smiley2

Yeah... Let's see 😉

By the way what does pandulipiyan  mean ? 

Those age old books and documents which were hand written hundreds and thousands of years ago.

Chapter 8 


If the chain and locket are joined by a mantra then should the chain be so fragile.  It should be put in a stronger mould 

The chain and locket were joined by a mantra but that mantra was not a protective shield... Aisa nahi hai that the locket was invincible.

Besides, as I said the locket and chain can not br broken directly. Indirectly to tod sakte hain...


Nanavati Hospital  I guess u have that in your city as well

Nope... All thanks to Google maps 😆


Ant outsmarting Mo Good one 👏

I had been planning this since the beginning...


Welcome back to writing. All in all a good read.

Thank you so much...

I want to know how u plan to defeat Ant 

Abhi to nahi bata sakte... You will get to know in the next two chapters...


I like the new feature u added in your FF Giving chapter Names and adding links next to them 

Tried it for the first time... Har baar links post kar karke bore ho gaye the...


Also, I tried writing something emotional for the first time... Do give your views if you feel like reading that... 

Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years ago
Hallyumint thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Nikki_srk

Hey Alisha!!! 🤗

Good to see you after such a long time...

Chapter 6


Ant man Nice 👌

Thanks... 😊

Wahin se idea aaya tha...


🧐  Somehow your villain seems invincible i don't know how they will defeat him 

Well, he does seem invincible but then even the most powerful people have some weak point, even if a small one but they have... To, iska bhi hoga...

Chapter 7

No not bakwas. Entertaining

Thankfully...


I can't believe Piya didn't  feel  Mo's nail near her neck.

Thoda sa to creative liberty le hi sakte hain... If she would have felt Mo's nail on her neck, how would the locket have been broken?


It seems our heroes have no way out except Piya's suicide.

Oh no!! That suicide part was that the previous Daivik had destroyed herself to stop Antakasur. Yahan par they will make a plan to stop him...


I'm curious how you're going to resolve that. 

Ab kuch na kuch to karenge hi...


Rudra now seems like a red herring. Chalo let's see smiley2

Yeah... Let's see 😉

By the way what does pandulipiyan  mean ? 

Those age old books and documents which were hand written hundreds and thousands of years ago.

Chapter 8 


If the chain and locket are joined by a mantra then should the chain be so fragile.  It should be put in a stronger mould 

The chain and locket were joined by a mantra but that mantra was not a protective shield... Aisa nahi hai that the locket was invincible.

Besides, as I said the locket and chain can not br broken directly. Indirectly to tod sakte hain...


Nanavati Hospital  I guess u have that in your city as well

Nope... All thanks to Google maps 😆


Ant outsmarting Mo Good one 👏

I had been planning this since the beginning...


Welcome back to writing. All in all a good read.

Thank you so much...

I want to know how u plan to defeat Ant 

Abhi to nahi bata sakte... You will get to know in the next two chapters...


I like the new feature u added in your FF Giving chapter Names and adding links next to them 

Tried it for the first time... Har baar links post kar karke bore ho gaye the...


Also, I tried writing something emotional for the first time... Do give your views if you feel like reading that... 


Send me the link 



Nanavati is my go to hospital 




Glad Piya's noble idiocy is not the root.

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Send me the link 

Okay... I'll just send you.


Nanavati is my go to hospital 

Oh okay... I remember you were telling me once that you are also from Mumbai...


Glad Piya's noble idiocy is not the root.

You very well know how much I hate noble idiocy... So, how could I have taken the same route??

Hallyumint thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

shall we continue discussing in daily interaction thread 

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Hallyumint

shall we continue discussing in daily interaction thread 

Sure... 👍🏼

I have sent you the link of that story...

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Okay, so here is the 9th chapter... I hope it is not a completely boring one...

PS: If I have forgotten to add any details or I have made some mistakes or anything else, please do point out as I have not proof read it. Kuch bhi gadbad lage, to please bata dena...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter: 09

The Information...


          Meanwhile, in a room in an another house, a person was pacing around restlessly... He picked up his phone and dialled someone's number but the call couldn't connect.

          Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door and he turned around... The lines of worry on his face relaxed when he saw the person standing in front of him.


Person: Arre Nishant Ji aap? Achha hua aap yahan aa gaye... Main abhi aapko hi phone kar raha tha...

Ni: Kya baat hai Panditji? Aap kuch pareshaan lag rahe hain?

P: Haan Nishant Ji... Mujhe aapse ek atyant hi avashyak vishay main baat karni hai.

Ni: Aisi kaun si zaruri baat hai jo aap itne pareshan hain?

P: Aaiye, main aapko batata hoon...


          He led Nishant into the adjoining room to show him the information that he had found a little while ago and wanted to share with him...


          On the other hand, in Nishant's house, everyone was also restless. It was quite late in the afternoon yet Guruma had not reached there. She had told Pia that she would be coming to tell them something important which is why, they were restless since morning. They even ate their lunch in a hurried manner, frequently glancing at the clock to see the time. It was around 2:30 pm and yet there was no sign of Guruma...

          After some time, they heard the lift door opening... They all came out and saw Guruma coming out of the lift.

          Pia rushed upto her and hugged her tightly...


Pia: Kaisi hain aap Guruma?

GM: Main bilkul theek hoon Pia...

Pia: Aaiye... Andar aaiye...


          She led Guruma inside Nishant's office and everyone was soon settled.

          Saavi brought water for her to drink and they all sat down waiting for Guruma to start the conversation...


Sa: Guruma, aapko aane main der kaise ho gayi? Hum log kab se aapka intezaar kar rahe hain...

GM: Haan wo ashram main kuch zaruri kaam aa gaya tha to der ho gayi...

Pia: Guruma, aapne bataya tha ki aapko kuch zaruri baat batani hai hume? Aisi kaun si baat pata chali hai aapko? 

GM: Darasal Panditji mujhse Kaal Shukra Grahan ke baare main pata karne aaye the... To mujhe us Grahan aur uske mahattva ke baare main kuch baate yaad aa gayi jo kabhi mere pitaji ne mujhe batayi thi...

Sa: Kya bataya tha aapke pitaji ne aapko?

GM: Darasal mere pitaji ke paas kuch pracheen pandulipiyan thi jinhe wo aksar mujhe padh kar sunaya karte the... Unme Kaal Shukra Grahan aur Antakasur ke baare main likha tha.

Ansh: Kya likha tha Guruma?

GM: Aap logon ko abhi tak ye to pata chal hi gaya hoga ki Kaal Shukra Grahan ka Kaali Shaktiyon ke liye kya mahattva hai?

Sa: Haan... Dad ne bataya tha ki agar Kaal Shukra Grahan ke din koi Kaali Shakti Daivik ko maarne main kaamyab ho gayi to wo amar ho jayegi...

GM: Haan... Kyonki is din Daivik ki bali chadhate hi panch tatvo ki shaktiyan us Kaali Shakti ke andar sama jayengi. Aur in panch tatvo ki shaktiyon ki wajah se wo Kaali Shakti amar ho jayegi...

Pia: Lekin Rakshas Kosh main likha tha ki Antakasur panch tatvo ki shaktiyon ko apne kaabu main kar sakta hai...

GM: Haan... Par hamesha nahi. Sirf kuch der ke liye hi. Aur agar wo Kaal Shukra Grahan par tumhari bali chadha dega to wo hamesha ke liye panch tatvo ki shaktiyon ka maalik ban jayega... Aur use maarna namumkin ho jayega.

Sa: Par use maarna to abhi bhi lagbhag namumkin hi hai...

GM: Lagbhag namumkin hai...namumkin nahi.

Ansh: To aapko kuch pata hai ki use kaise maara jaa sakta hai?

GM: Haan... Un pracheen pandulipiyon main Antakasur ki Kundali bhi thi. Uske anusaar, Antakasur ka vadh ek Kaali Shakti ke haathon hi ho sakta hai aur wo bhi ek aisi Kaali Shakti jisne burai ke raaste ko na chun kar achhai ka raasta chuna ho.


          She looked meaningfully in Ansh's direction, as if she was easily able to see him. The others too turned their attention towards him...

          Ansh was surprised...


Ansh: Main?

Ni: Haan tum... 


          They all turned their attention back to Guruma...


Pia: Aapko aur kuch pata hai Antakasur ke baare main?

GM: Haan... Kuch aur baate bhi hain. Sabse badi baat, Antakasur ke liye sabse zaruri cheez hai Daivik ki mrityu. Phir chahe wo Kaal Shukra Grahan par ho ya uske baad.

Pia: Matlab?

GM: Waise to Antakasur ki poori koshish rahegi ki wo tumhe Kaal Shukra Grahan ke samay hi maare lekin agar kisi wajah se wo nakaam ho gaya to bhi uske liye tumhe maarna utna hi zaruri hoga.

Sa: Par aisa kyon Guruma? Aapne jo kuch bhi bataya uske hisaab se to Ansh Jiju hi hain jo Antakasur ko maar sakte hain... To phir wo Pia Di ke peeche kyon pada hai? Kaal Shukra Grahan par Daivik ko maar kar wo amar ho jayega...ye baat to samajh main aati hai. Par uske baad kyon?

GM: Kyonki wo astra jisse Antakasur ko maara ja sakta hai, us astra ko apni jagah se sirf ek Daivik hi utha sakti hai.

Ansh: Matlab agar wo Pia ko maarne main kaamyab ho gaya to us hathiyar ko koi aur nahi utha payega... Aur use maara bhi nahi jaa sakega?

GM: Haan... Agar usne Kaal Shukra Grahan par Daivik ko maara to wo waise bhi amar ho jayega... Aur Kaal Shukra Grahan ke baad maara to agle Kaal Shukra Grahan tak wo surakshit rahega... Ya phir shayad tab tak jab tak Ansh ke jaisi koi dusari Kaali Shakti is dharti par janm na le.

Ansh: Mere jaisi? Matlab?

Ni: Matlab koi aur Kaali Shakti jo tumhari hi tarah burai ka raasta chhod kar achhai ka raasta apna le... 

GM: Bilkul theek kaha aapne...

Sa: To iska matlab hai ki use har haal main Di ko maarna hi hoga... Aur agar wo kaamyab ho gaya to Ansh Jiju bhi uska kuch nahi bigaad payenge...

GM: Haan...


          Suddenly, Pia remembered something...


Pia: Guruma... Aap us hathiyar ke baare main kuch aur jaanti hain?

GM: Haan... Wo astra ek bahut hi khaas astra hai. Mere pitaji ne bataya tha ki picchle Kaal Shukra Grahan par, yaani ki teen hazar saal pehle, Daivik ne Antakasur ko rokne ke liye apne praano ki aahuti de di thi...


          Pia was surprised... The previous Daivik had taken her own life to stop Antakasur!! Why??


Pia: Par aisa kyon Guruma?

GM: Kyonki us waqt Antakasur ko maarne wala koi nahi tha... Aur aisa koi astra ya shastra bhi nahi tha jisse us par prahaar kiya jaa sake.

Pia: To us Daivik ne apni jaan kyon di?

GM: Kyonki us Daivik ki asthiyon se hi wo astra bana hai jisse Antakasur ko maara jaa sakta hai... Aur yahi wajah hai ki sirf ek Daivik hi us astra ko apne sthaan se utha sakti hai. 

Pia: Us hathiyar main aisa kya khaas hai Guruma? Ek khaas baat to ye hai ki wo hathiyar us Daivik ki asthiyon se banaya gaya hai... Kya uske alawa koi aur khaas baat bhi hai?

GM: Haan... Wo astra asal main panch tatvo ka hi ek roop hai.

Sa: Panch tatvo ka roop?

GM: Tumne ye to suna hi hoga: "kshiti, jal, pavak, gagan, sameera... Panch tatva yah adham sareera"?

Sa: Matlab?

Pia: Matlab ye jo humara shareer hai, ye panch tatvo se bana hua hai... Prithvi, jal, vayu, agni aur aakash... 

GM: Haan... Aur kyonki Daivik ko panch tatvo ki sabhi shaktiyan prapt hoti hain isiliye uski asthiyon main bhi panch tatvo ki shakti hoti hai. Antakasur Daivik ki bali chadha kar panch tatvo ki shaktiyon ka swami ban jayega. Isiliye, use maarne ke liye in panch tatvo ki shaktiyon ki hi awashyakta hai. Aur wo paanch tatva is astra main bhi hain...

Ni: Panch Tatva Astra? Iske baare main maine kahin padha to tha... Par yaad nahi aa raha kahan...


          Nishant tried to recollect where he had read about that Panch Tatva Astra... But unfortunately, he wasn't able to. He knew that he had read about it only lately...but where? 


Ni: Kahan padha tha maine... (He was rubbing his forehead with his hand, trying to remember) Haan... Yaad aaya. Main ek baar Panditji ke ghar gaya tha. Wahin kisi kitaab main is Panch Tatva Astra ke baare main likha hua tha.

Pia: Panditji ke paas to wo kitaab abhi bhi hogi na? Aap unhe call karke pooch kyon nahi lete?

Ni: Tum theek keh rahi ho Gudiya... Main abhi Panditji ko call karta hoon.


          Nishant took out his cellphone and dialled Panditji's number. On the other hand, Guruma was telling the other three some more important things which might help them at some point of time.

          Nishant had tried to call Panditji thrice but unfortunately, the call wasn't connecting. He was about to dial his number for the fourth time when they heard a knock on the door.

          They all turned their heads towards the door... And they got one of the biggest shocks of their lives... For Panditji was standing in the doorway with his head swathed in a bandage. A small crimson patch was visible at one corner... He seemed to be too weak to stand without any support. 

          They all rushed towards him... Ansh and Nishant held him by each of his arms and led him towards the couch. They made him sit on the couch and offered him water to drink.


Ni: Ye kya hua Panditji aapko? Aap ghayal kaise ho gaye?

P (in a weak voice): Antakasur...

Ansh: Kya hua Panditji?

P: Abhi kuch ghanto pehle, Antakasur mere ghar par aaya tha...


[Flashback:]


P: Arre Nishant Ji aap? Achha hua aap yahan aa gaye... Main abhi aapko hi phone kar raha tha...

Ni: Kya baat hai Panditji? Aap kuch pareshaan lag rahe hain?

P: Haan Nishant Ji... Mujhe aapse ek atyant hi avashyak vishay main baat karni hai.

Ni: Aisi kaun si zaruri baat hai jo aap itne pareshan hain?

P: Aaiye, main aapko batata hoon...


          They both entered the adjoining room where a large number of old books and a number of other sheets were scattered around.


Ni: Kya batana chahte hain aap mujhe Panditji?

P: Ye dekhiye Nishant Ji... Mujhe Antakasur se judi ek bahut zaruri baat pata chali hai... Shayad iski madad se hum asli Antakasur tak pahunch sakte hain.

Ni: Achha?


          But, something in his tone caught Panditji by surprise.

          He stared at Nishant for a few seconds, trying to decipher what was wrong with him...

          On the other hand, Nishant took a few steps towards him... But the look on his face and the glint in his eyes...it was different. Nishant was different.


Ni: Aapne jaankaari to bahut kaam ki dhoondhi hai Pandiji... Par kya hai na, ye jaankaari mere kisi kaam ki nahi hai.

P: Matlab? Kaun ho tum?

Ni: Wo kya hai na, mujhe Antakasur ko dhoondhne ki koi zarurat hai hi nahi...kyonki main khud hi Antakasur hoon.


          His lips curved in an evil smirk... 

          Poof!!! Nishant disappeared in a cloud of black smoke and Antakasur stood in front of him... 


P: Antakasur???

Ant: Haan Pandit... Antakasur.


          He shoved him aside roughly. His head hit the corner of the table and soon, he could feel the world around him going black...


[Present Time:]


Ni: Lekin Panditji, wo Antakasur aapke ghar par kyon aaya tha? Aur aapko aisi kaun si zaruri baat pata chali hai?

P: Mujhe ye to nahi pata ki wo mere ghar par kyon aaya tha par haan, behosh hone se pehle maine dekha tha ki wo mere kamre main kuch dhoondh raha tha... Kya dhoondh raha tha, ye to mujhe bhi nahi pata.

Ni (thinking): Ho na ho, ye Antakasur usi hathiyar ke baare main pata karne ke liye aaya hoga...


          He turned his attention back towards Panditji.


Ni: Aisi kaun si zaruri baat pata chali thi aapko Panditji jo aap mujhe batana chahte the?

P: Haan... Antakasur ko pehchanne ka ek tareeka pata chala tha.

Pia: Antakasur ko pehchanne ka tareeka? Aur wo kya hai?

P: Antakasur ke shareer par, uske dahine haath par ek khaas Rakshas Chihna hai. Usi ke dwara use pehchaana ja sakta hai.

Ansh: Par Pandiji, wo Antakasur to abhi kisi aur roop main hai. To hum use kaise pehchaanenge?

P: Us Rakshas Chihna ki khaasiyat hi yahi hai... Antakasur ya koi bhi Asur chahe kisi ka bhi roop le le, wo Chihna nahi chupa sakta. 

Ansh: Aur agar wo us Chihna ko nakli skin ya sticker se chupane ki koshish kare? Jaise Ruby ne nakli Daivik nishaan apne kandhe par lagaya tha?

P: Usse bhi kuch nahi hoga... Us Chihna ko kisi bhi tareeke se chupaya nahi jaa sakta. Agar uske upar kuch bhi chipkaya gaya, jaise ki wo Ruby ne jo kiya tha, to wo Chihna apne tej se us cheez ko hi nasht kar dega.

Ni: To iska matlab, us Chihna ke zariye, hum asli Antakasur ko pehchaan sakte hain?

P: Haan... Par ye itna asaan bhi nahi hoga. Kyonki Antakasur ko bhi pata hai ki wo Chihna uska bhed khol sakta hai. Isiliye, usne us Chihna ko chupane ke liye kuch na kuch to socha hi hoga...


          They were all processing the information provided by Panditji.


Sa: To matlab ye Chihna bhi humare zyada kuch kaam nahi aane wala?

Ni: Hmmm... Lag to kuch aise hi raha hai.


          Meanwhile, Panditji saw Guruma sitting there...


P: Waise Nishant Ji, aap logon ko kuch aur pata chala?

Sa: Haan... Thoda bahut pata chala hai.


          Before she could say anything further, Nishant's phone rang. He took it out and saw an unknown number flashing on its screen.


Ni: Ye kiska call ho sakta hai? 


          He was doubtful whether he should receive the call or not. What if it were another plan of Antakasur?? He couldn't be sure that it wasn't...neither was he sure that it was.

          Nevertheless, he received the call and what he heard from the other end shocked him to the core...

Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years ago


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