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FF: Sacrifice For Immortality (Completed) - Page 15

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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: nushy1995

I used to read sci-fi a lot when I was in school. By the time I went to college, I started reading novels of the same sci-fi writer (Md. Zafar Iqbal) and other famous novelists of my country. Humayun Ahmed is one of them. Some I read randomly when friends suggested me.

At this point, I have lost the habit which I am really ashamed of. But I like novels where they show layers. Some of Humayun Ahmed's novels are great in that sense. But lately I feel even he had a trend. 😛

I love reading crime fiction, science fiction, horror the most. The first science fiction novel that I read was 'The Time Machine' by HG Wells.

Right now, I am completing the entire Agatha Christie series. I also loved reading Conan Doyle books, especially Sherlock Holmes series...

Every year on my birthday, I ask my parents to buy me a set of books as a gift. This year, I am planning to buy a collection of science fiction books...

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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Nikki_srk

I love reading crime fiction, science fiction, horror the most. The first science fiction novel that I read was 'The Time Machine' by HG Wells.

Right now, I am completing the entire Agatha Christie series. I also loved reading Conan Doyle books, especially Sherlock Holmes series...

Every year on my birthday, I ask my parents to buy me a set of books as a gift. This year, I am planning to buy a collection of science fiction books...

That's a wonderful list. 👍🏼

Even I used to do that. Besides. you might know that we organize a book fair spanning through the entire February month in honor of the International Language Day. My birthday in in February so I used to cajole my mom and brother to buy me as many as books they could. 😆

Another similarity we have! 😆

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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: nushy1995

That's a wonderful list. 👍🏼

Even I used to do that. Besides. you might know that we organize a book fair spanning through the entire February month in honor of the International Language Day. My birthday in in February so I used to cajole my mom and brother to buy me as many as books they could. 😆

Another similarity we have! 😆

Yeah!! Yet another similarity... 😆

In my city also a national book fair is organised every year. Last year, it was in September and I bought a lot of books. This year, it was supposed to be in the first week of April but it has been cancelled due to corona outbreak... 

So, apart from my birthday, I also buy books from the book fair...

Madhura.. thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Nikki, an awesome Chapter! Finally the page mystery, I was waiting for. Nishant is fast and wise, and what a crazy solution it is, Daivik killing herself, gosh!

Also way Saavi and Ansh were shattered too.

Mo hypnotizing Saavi was so apt, and trying to take her chain, but Pia was smart and others reached. Balcony thing was unexpected, and wow..so now Pia is actually vulnerable!

Antakasur's deal was great, and way he gave attitude to Mo. Even Ansh telling his siblings to spy on Rudra, was great.

Now, I don't want to guess more on Veer or Rudra. But if it's Veer, it's so easy for him, cos he will just come to get his kundli and attack Pia.

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Posted: 4 years ago

Nikki, an awesome Chapter!

Thank you... 😊

 Finally the page mystery, I was waiting for.

I knew you would be waiting for this thing the most...

 Nishant is fast and wise, and what a crazy solution it is, Daivik killing herself, gosh!

Well, if I am crazy enough to think of such concepts then I am also crazy enough to give crazy solutions...

Also way Saavi and Ansh were shattered too.

Had to be... After all, who wants to lose his wife or her sister??

Mo hypnotizing Saavi was so apt, and trying to take her chain, but Pia was smart and others reached. Balcony thing was unexpected, and wow..so now Pia is actually vulnerable!

Well, I had initially planned it to end with Saavi pulling the chain and breaking it. But then I thought that if I have introduced the chain as something that can save Pia from KS's, then how can it be broken so easily??

Antakasur's deal was great, and way he gave attitude to Mo. Even Ansh telling his siblings to spy on Rudra, was great.

Well, I always love the antagonists (as well as the protagonists) to have some attitude.

And I was bound to include the cousins... As I always say, I absolutely love the cousins. So, I had to bring them in.

Now, I don't want to guess more on Veer or Rudra. But if it's Veer, it's so easy for him, cos he will just come to get his kundli and attack Pia.

Well, I will reveal this soon... 😊

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Posted: 4 years ago

Yes, you guessed right.

True to both points.

Wise, then! It can't be broken easily.

Indeed, 😃

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Posted: 4 years ago

Ufff!!! After so many days of procrastination, finally I completed the 8th chapter... Looks like I have started becoming lazy...

Bas ek filler chapter hai... Zyada kuch hai nahi isme... So, I hope it is a decent one...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter: 08

Is Rudra Antakasur?


          The locket was broken... and with it broke their last hope... Pia lost the only protection she had against any Kaali Shakti...

          Everyone was thunderstruck... They felt as if a cold wind had swept right through them causing them to freeze...  Their eyes were fixed on that broken chain and locket lying on the floor. 

          They were all at a loss of words... It was quite some time before Nishant regained his composure...


Ni: Ye kaise ho gaya? Ye...ye locket toot gaya... Yahi to humari aakhiri ummeed thi Gudiya ko Antakasur se bachane ki...

Sa: Dad, kya ye locket joda nahi jaa sakta?

Ni: Nahi... Ye chain agar ek baar toot gayi to use dobara joda nahi jaa sakta aur is locket ko kisi aur chain se attach bhi nahi kiya jaa sakta...

Sa: Magar aisa kyon Dad?

Ni: Kyonki ye chain aur ye locket ek mantra se jode gaye the... Isiliye is chain ke alawa ye locket aur kisi chain par attach nahi ho sakta...

Ansh: Par ye locket toota kaise?

Pia: Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aaya... Hum log jab andar jaane ke liye mude to mujhe achanak se ek khinchao mehsoos hua... Aur phir ye chain toot gayi...

Sa: Ye keel dekhiye... Shayad jab Di yahan par khadi thi to ye chain us keel main phans gayi aur zor se khinchne ki wajah se toot gayi...


          Pia who was staring at that nail jutting out of the wall suddenly spoke up...


Pia: Nahi... Ye chain apne aap to is keel main nahi phansi.

Ansh: Matlab?

Pia: Ye dekho... (She showed them her mangalsutra) Wo chain aur ye mangalsutra, dono overlapped the. Aur ye keel (showing them that nail) Ye keel is mangalsutra ke level se kam se kam do se teen centimetres upar hai... To wo chain bhi isi level par hogi. Agar ye chain is keel tak nahi pahunch rahi hai, to wo chain bhi apne aap to is keel main nahi phans sakti...

Ansh: Iska matlab us chain ko is keel par phansaya gaya tha... Par aisa kar kaun sakta hai?

Sa: Obviously Antakasur... Uske alawa kaun ho sakta hai?

Ni: Iska matlab wo bhi kahin aas paas hi hoga... Hume andar chalna chahiye.


           They all went inside...

           Ansh went outside and took a round of the premises of Nishant's apartment but he did not find anyone there.

          They all were on full alert throughout the time... They couldn't even have their dinner properly... Finally, after a few hours, around midnight, Nishant told them all to retire for the night.

          The night passed with each of them tossing and turning in their beds. Sleep was out of question. They all were worried about Antakasur's next move...

          Finally the night passed and the next morning after breakfast, they were all gathered in Nishant's office to go through the remaining literature in a bid to find something useful.

          While they were going through the books, Ansh got a call...


Ansh: Haan Rishi... Bolo kya hua?

Rishi: Bhai, wo Neha aur maine abhi-abhi us Rudra ko kahin jaate hue dekha hai... Wo bahut jaldi main tha.

Ansh: Theek hai... Ho sake to zara peecha karo uska aur dekho wo kahan jaata hai...

Rishi: On it Bhai!!!


          And he hung up...

          Meanwhile, Nishant who was carefully hearing Ansh's conversation came upto him...


Ni: Are you sure Ansh tumhara Rishi ko Rudra ka peecha karne ke bolne ka decision ekdum sahi hai? Agar Rudra hi Antakasur hua to Rishi aur Neha ki jaan ko khatra bhi ho sakta hai...

Ansh: I know Papa, ye thoda risky kaam hai... Par humare paas aur koi option bhi to nahi hai!! Is samay Rishi aur Neha hi hain jo uska peecha kar sakte hain...

Ni: Baat to theek hai tumhari... I hope wo kisi problem main na pade...


          On the other hand, Rishi had taken out the car and soon both he and Neha were speeding after Rudra's car...a black BMW.

          They took care to keep a gap of two or three cars in between their car and Rudra's so that he shouldn't have a doubt that he is being followed.

          But suddenly, Rudra's car disappeared...


Rishi: Arre!! Ye Rudra achanak se kahan gayab ho gaya? 

Neha: Ho sakta hai usne gaadi kisi gali main mod li ho? Waise bhi yahan par chhoti-badi kai galiyan hai... Ho sakta hai wo unme se kisi gali main ghus gaya aur humne dhyaan nahi diya?


          Rishi who had pulled up on the side of the road by this time was staring at Neha as if she had grown two horns on her head...


Neha: Kya hua? Tu mujhe aise kyon ghoor raha hai?

Rishi: Kuch nahi... Bas wo tune kaha na ki 'HUMNE' dhyaan nahi diya hoga to thoda sa shock laga... Kyonki tu to saari galti mere sar par daal kar ladne ka koi mauka nahi chhodti?

Neha: Dekh, hume ladne ke liye baad main bahut saare mauke milenge... Isiliye abhi hume is kaam par focus karna chahiye. Tu...tu ek kaam kar... Bhai ko phone kar aur sab kuch bata de.

Rishi: Theek hai...


          He dialled Ansh's number... Ansh was quick to pick up the call as he was waiting for it.


Rishi: Bhai, wo main aur Neha Rudra ka peecha kar rahe the...

Ansh: Achha... To kahan gaya wo?

Rishi: Abhi thodi der pehle tak to wo humare saamne hi tha... Par pata nahi achanak se uski gaadi kahan gayab ho gayi... Kuch samajh nahi aaya...

Ansh: Achha... Tum log ho kahan par abhi?

Rishi: Hum abhi Nanavati Hospital ke paas hain... Yahan tak to uski gaadi humare saamne hi thi. Par phir uske aage jo crossroad hai, whan se achanak kahin gayab ho gayi... Shayad use shaq ho gaya tha ki koi uska peecha kar raha hai...

Ansh: Theek hai... Tum log ab ghar jao. Agar wo yahan aaya to hum sambhal lenge... Aur agar wo wapas aaye to mujhe phone karna.

Rishi: Okay bhai... 


          Ansh cut the call after asking Rishi to return home.

         Seeing the lines of worry on Ansh's forehead, Nishant came upto him...


Ni: Kya hua Ansh? Sab theek to hai na?

Ansh: Nahi papa... Rishi aur Neha us Rudra ka peecha kar rahe the par achanak se Nanavati Hospital ke thoda aage jakar crossroad ke paas uski car kahin gayab ho gayi...

Ni: Par wahan se to bahut saare raaste gaye hain... Pata nahi wo kis taraf gaya hoga...

Sa: Wahan se to ek raasta yahan bhi aata hai... Ho na ho, wo yahin aa raha hai...

Ni: Ho bhi sakta hai... Hume saavdhan ho jana chahiye...


          Meanwhile, Pia who was busy with a call came upto them after disconnecting it...

          Nishant looked up at her...


Ni: Kiska phone tha Gudiya?

Pia: Guruma ka phone tha... Unhone kaha ki unhe humse kuch zaruri baat karni hai aur unke paas kuch jaankaari bhi hai jo humare kaam aa sakti hai. Isiliye, wo thodi der baad yahan aa rahi hain humse milne.

Sa: Par wo ye baat phone par bhi to bata sakti thi na?

Pia: Haan... Par unhone kaha ki wo humse milne aa rahi hain...

Ni: Theek hai... Dekhte hain wo hume kya batati hain... Waise bhi, unhone humesha hume bahut kaam ki informations di hain.


          They all got back to the work of searching through the books while waiting for Guruma to arrive.

          Back there, Rishi reversed his car and proceeded to return home. As soon as their car was out of sight, a black BMW came out on the main road from one of the small lanes, turned into one of the four roads of the crossroad and was soon speeding towards its destination.

          On the other hand, somewhere near Nishant's apartment, inside an empty house, the silhouette of a woman was visible pacing back and forth... Occasionally, the figure would approach the window and peep out of it by slightly moving the curtains without revealing her face.

          She whirled around when she sensed someone standing there in a corner, hidden in the shadows... The person stepped out in the light.


Lady (almost in a whisper): Antakasur... 

Ant: Mujhe pata tha... Tu mera kaam zarrur karegi Mohona...

Mo: Maine aapka kaam kar diya... Par aapko apna waada to yaad hai na?

Ant: Haan yaad hai mujhe... Daayano ki tarah waade todne ki fitrat nahi hai meri...


          Mohona remained quiet.

          Antakasur raised his hands in air... Soon, a golden light began to emerge from his hands. That light soon disappeared and in the place of that light, in his hand appeared what seemed like a golden goblet.

          Mohona stared at the contents of that liquid. It contained a golden liquid with a fruity smell.


Ant: Ye Ayushya Dravya hai... Ye teri umar badhane ka raasta hai...


          He plucked one of his hair and murmured some spell. That hair turned into a thin, golden spit.

          He stirred the contents of the goblet with it and again began murmuring something. Giving it to Mohona he asked her to drink it.

          Mohona was well aware of the existence of the Ayushya Dravya and that it had been stolen thousands of years ago... But she did not know that Antakasur was the one who stole it. So, she was a bit surprised when she saw it with him.


Mo: Ye Ayushya Dravya aapke paas kaise?

Ant: Tujhe usse kya? Apni umar badhani hai to ise per le...

Mo: Par main kaise maan loon ki ye hi asli Ayushya Dravya hai?

Ant: Pyale ki bahari satah ko dhyaan se dekh, Ayushya Mantra likha hua hai... Phir bhi tujhe koi shak hai to la, wapas kar de ise.


          Mohona looked at the outer wall of that goblet and clear enough, the Ayushya Mantra was visible. She was convinced that it was the real goblet containing Ayushya Dravya as only the original goblet could have the mantra engraved on it and she drank the entire thing in one go.


Mo: Sauda poora hua... Ab main chalti hoon. 

Ant: Ek minute... Jaate jaate ek baat yaad rakhna, agar mujhe dhokha dene ki baat galti se bhi tere dimag main aayi, to wo teri zindagi ki aakhiri galti hogi...

Mo: Matlab? Aur main aapko dhokha kyon dungi?

Ant: Tujhe kya lagta hai, mujhe daayano ki fitrat ke baare main nahi pata? Tune abhi dekha maine us sone ki seenk se is dravya ko hilaya tha? 

Mo: Haan...

Ant: Wo isliye kyonki agar mujhe dhokha dene ke baare main socha bhi, to ye Ayushya Dravya teri jaan le lega...

Mo: Matlab?

Ant: Matlab ye ki jaise hi tere dimag main mujhe dhokha dene ka khayal bhi aayega, waise hi us sone ki seenk ki wajah se ye jo Ayushya Dravya tere shareer main gaya hai na, wo tere liye ek zeher ban jayega aur teri zindagi usi kshan khatam ho jayegi...


          Mohona was shocked to hear that.


Mo: To iska matlab aapne mujhe dhokha diya?

Ant: Nahi... Maine bas apna rasta saaf kiya hai... Maine waada kiya tha ki tujhe teri umar badhane ka upaay bataunga, wo maine kiya... Par iske saath-saath maine is baat ka bhi dhyaan rakha ki tu mujhe dhokha na de de... Waise bhi, daayano ki to fitrat hi dhokha dene ki hoti hai.

Mo: Lekin main aapko dhokha kaise de sakti hoon?

Ant: Abhi nahi de sakti... Par bhavishya ka kya? Kya pata bhavishya main kabhi tu aisi koshish kare? Isiliye, maine pehle hi uska intezaam kar liya...


          Mohona could not speak a word... She stood rooted on the ground. 


Ant: Ab yahan khadi kyon hai? Sauda to poora ho gaya na? Ab jaa yahan se... Mujhe aur bhi zaruri kaam hain...


          Mohona left the place.

          Antakasur walked upto the window and pulled the curtains slightly apart so as to have a look at the surroundings. He sat down on a couch to relax for some time and decide his next course of action.

          After some time, left the house and went outside where his car was parked. He unlocked it and opening the door, sat on the driving seat. His mouth curled into an evil smirk and he left that place to go somewhere...

Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years ago


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Posted: 4 years ago

It was an interesting read. Good job behna! 👏 👍🏼


Let's come to detail reviewing. 


First of all, a big thanks to you for giving a plausible explanation behind the chain and locket. Because it had been bugging me that even if a chain gets broken, you can use another one. Plus in the series, Ruby didn't have any problem with breaking the chain and Piya didn't notice it.

So I was confused if Piya realized her chain was broken, then why would it be a grave situation for them. Plus why was Mo so worried about it? 🤔

Thank you for the explanation. 😃


The best part of the story for me was, Antakasur's wit. The way he handled Mo, it was Super Se Upar!!! 🥳 🥳 🥳    He is the intelligent villain we had yearned for in the original series. 🤔 🤔 🤔  Although, I am still not convinced that Rudra is Antakasur.


So Guruma to the rescue. 😎 I guess she would tell them about the weapon you were talking about earlier.


I just had one simple problem with this chapter. Rishi and Neha's banter seemed unrealistic to me. I mean, you gave quite the description and I was rather expecting that Antakasur may have done something with Neha but making it such a huge issue that Neha didn't blame it all on him, didn't really seem realistic. Not even with Rishi's level of intelligence. 

I hope you didn't mind. This was the only thing that was bothering me so I thought I should tell you.


Otherwise a really well balanced chapter. 👏 👍🏼

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Posted: 4 years ago

It was an interesting read. Good job behna! 👏 👍🏼

Thanks... 😊

Let's come to detail reviewing. 


First of all, a big thanks to you for giving a plausible explanation behind the chain and locket. Because it had been bugging me that even if a chain gets broken, you can use another one. Plus in the series, Ruby didn't have any problem with breaking the chain and Piya didn't notice it.

So I was confused if Piya realized her chain was broken, then why would it be a grave situation for them. Plus why was Mo so worried about it? 🤔

Thank you for the explanation. 😃

Well, as I have already told you, I don't like to keep things unexplained... So, I had to give an explanation behind the locket and the chain...

After all, I had introduced that locket as the only thing that could protect Pia. So, if it was broken, I would have made sure that it couldn't be replaced...

The best part of the story for me was, Antakasur's wit. The way he handled Mo, it was Super Se Upar!!! 🥳 🥳 🥳    He is the intelligent villain we had yearned for in the original series. 🤔 🤔 🤔  Although, I am still not convinced that Rudra is Antakasur.

Well, I absolutely love smart, intelligent and cunning villains... So, how could I make him a stupid? Basically, I have made him exactly that kind of a villain that I wanted to see in the show...

I'm glad you are liking this villain that I created...

Also, who knows who might turn out to be the real Antakasur? 😉

So Guruma to the rescue. 😎 I guess she would tell them about the weapon you were talking about earlier.

Yeah... Jab bhi Guruma aati hain, kuch important clue ya information laati hain... 😎

I just had one simple problem with this chapter. Rishi and Neha's banter seemed unrealistic to me. I mean, you gave quite the description and I was rather expecting that Antakasur may have done something with Neha but making it such a huge issue that Neha didn't blame it all on him, didn't really seem realistic. Not even with Rishi's level of intelligence. 

Could you please explain more clearly? 

I hope you didn't mind. This was the only thing that was bothering me so I thought I should tell you.

Well, why would I mind dear? I write these stories for you guys only...your reviews matter to me.

As I always say, you can...in fact you should clearly tell me what you liked and what you didn't... 😊

Otherwise a really well balanced chapter. 👏 👍🏼

Thanks... I'm glad you liked it. 🤗

Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years ago
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Posted: 4 years ago

It was a superb chapter.

Reason for the chain was bang on!

Then loved the goblet description and Antakasur over smarting Mo, super brilliant! Details and making life liquid was interesting, reminded me of unicorn blood theory.

It was interesting and Neha and Rishi part too was great, both following Rudra and losing him, definitely happens when you keep a gap and the crossroads part.