part of this thing thats called society

correct me if im wrong here

a thought occurred to me while watching yesterdays episode when kammo was telling her life story to beeji and NB. i remembered how horrible and judgemental she was to babita and mini and then i remembered lovely and how horrible and judgemental she was. and then i remembered meeta and how empowering and understanding she was. the thing that kammo and lovely have in common is the unhappiness in their own lives and the lack of control that they had where all they could do was an endure a life that was carved out for them (a life that seems to have been chosen for them). in s1 we got an insight as to why lovely was so bitter and looked for any reason to put someone else (especially another woman) down and now since hearing kammos story it seems that this too shaped the person shes turned into. i cant help but feel that part of the problem of ''society'' is a a large percentage of woman who are just so unhappy within their own lives that constantly judge and brand other women to make themselves feel better about their own pathetic existence, which theyve got no choice but to live out until they die. kammo for eg; she was raped, blamed, then her father paid a man to marry her (a man whos a molester himself and would probably be a rapist if given the chance). through this all shes had zero choice and shes just got to continue living her life with khatri until such time that she dies. is it any wonder she begrudges any other person any bit of happiness when shes not happy herself? and so the cycle continues. surely its no coincidence that women like meeta who are in control of their own life and free to make their own choices turn out to be ''better'' woman (by better i mean uplifting, positive etc as opposed to gossiping, negative women who revel in another womans problems''

to me, the whole concept of ''reputation'' seems to be a bunch of unhappy people who cant mind their own business or dont have anything better going on in their lives than to brand other people with labels? and if the tv serials are anything to go by, alot of women are fuelling this problem.

i cant help feeling that half this societal problem will end by adults just being more in control of their lifes as opposed to being grown up but having parents and other elders make decisions for them. especially decisions like who to marry, career choices, among other things - and then getting married and having husbands and in laws then control things.

i dont mean to offend anyone and i obviously could be entirely wrong (and also know youngsters in india are more free than they've ever been before) but its just something which occurred to me during yesterdays episode

apologies for the long post ☺️

Originally posted by: Del00

correct me if im wrong here

a thought occurred to me while watching yesterdays episode when kammo was telling her life story to beeji and NB. i remembered how horrible and judgemental she was to babita and mini and then i remembered lovely and how horrible and judgemental she was. and then i remembered meeta and how empowering and understanding she was. the thing that kammo and lovely have in common is the unhappiness in their own lives and the lack of control that they had where all they could do was an endure a life that was carved out for them (a life that seems to have been chosen for them). in s1 we got an insight as to why lovely was so bitter and looked for any reason to put someone else (especially another woman) down and now since hearing kammos story it seems that this too shaped the person shes turned into. i cant help but feel that part of the problem of ''society'' is a a large percentage of woman who are just so unhappy within their own lives that constantly judge and brand other women to make themselves feel better about their own pathetic existence, which theyve got no choice but to live out until they die. kammo for eg; she was raped, blamed, then her father paid a man to marry her (a man whos a molester himself and would probably be a rapist if given the chance). through this all shes had zero choice and shes just got to continue living her life with khatri until such time that she dies. is it any wonder she begrudges any other person any bit of happiness when shes not happy herself? and so the cycle continues. surely its no coincidence that women like meeta who are in control of their own life and free to make their own choices turn out to be ''better'' woman (by better i mean uplifting, positive etc as opposed to gossiping, negative women who revel in another womans problems''

to me, the whole concept of ''reputation'' seems to be a bunch of unhappy people who cant mind their own business or dont have anything better going on in their lives than to brand other people with labels? and if the tv serials are anything to go by, alot of women are fuelling this problem.

i cant help feeling that half this societal problem will end by adults just being more in control of their lifes as opposed to being grown up but having parents and other elders make decisions for them. especially decisions like who to marry, career choices, among other things - and then getting married and having husbands and in laws then control things.

i dont mean to offend anyone and i obviously could be entirely wrong (and also know youngsters in india are more free than they've ever been before) but its just something which occurred to me during yesterdays episode

apologies for the long post ☺️

Frankly

All the things you mentioned i was thinking same while waching kammos part.

Originally posted by: Sushdvj

Frankly

All the things you mentioned i was thinking same while waching kammos part.

Im glad I’m not the only one. After hearing her life story I now feel sorry for her and now understand why she can never see anyone else happy and why she’s ever willing to cause doubt and rain on someone’s parade. Eg ruining babitas wedding. It doesn’t make what she did right but it gives an insight as to why so many women are the way they are. Another eg, being women,who were treated badly by their in-laws who, and then believe that because of it they can treat their own daughter in law badly.

It’s like a vicious cycle

Originally posted by: Del00

correct me if im wrong here

a thought occurred to me while watching yesterdays episode when kammo was telling her life story to beeji and NB. i remembered how horrible and judgemental she was to babita and mini and then i remembered lovely and how horrible and judgemental she was. and then i remembered meeta and how empowering and understanding she was. the thing that kammo and lovely have in common is the unhappiness in their own lives and the lack of control that they had where all they could do was an endure a life that was carved out for them (a life that seems to have been chosen for them). in s1 we got an insight as to why lovely was so bitter and looked for any reason to put someone else (especially another woman) down and now since hearing kammos story it seems that this too shaped the person shes turned into. i cant help but feel that part of the problem of ''society'' is a a large percentage of woman who are just so unhappy within their own lives that constantly judge and brand other women to make themselves feel better about their own pathetic existence, which theyve got no choice but to live out until they die. kammo for eg; she was raped, blamed, then her father paid a man to marry her (a man whos a molester himself and would probably be a rapist if given the chance). through this all shes had zero choice and shes just got to continue living her life with khatri until such time that she dies. is it any wonder she begrudges any other person any bit of happiness when shes not happy herself? and so the cycle continues. surely its no coincidence that women like meeta who are in control of their own life and free to make their own choices turn out to be ''better'' woman (by better i mean uplifting, positive etc as opposed to gossiping, negative women who revel in another womans problems''

to me, the whole concept of ''reputation'' seems to be a bunch of unhappy people who cant mind their own business or dont have anything better going on in their lives than to brand other people with labels? and if the tv serials are anything to go by, alot of women are fuelling this problem.

i cant help feeling that half this societal problem will end by adults just being more in control of their lifes as opposed to being grown up but having parents and other elders make decisions for them. especially decisions like who to marry, career choices, among other things - and then getting married and having husbands and in laws then control things.

i dont mean to offend anyone and i obviously could be entirely wrong (and also know youngsters in india are more free than they've ever been before) but its just something which occurred to me during yesterdays episode

apologies for the long post ☺️

Ya its a long post

But whatever you said was 100 percent correct

And please no need to apologize as this forum is for sharing views only.😳

I totally agree with you.

Its always a woman against woman. People keep saying this but after reading your post today i came to realize why is it so. You are right woman arw ao unhappy from the injustice done to them that they cant see any other woman happy. They subject every other woman to same torture which they endured.

Its unfortunate but true.

Nice to know I'm not the only person to think and most of the time talking same thing 🤗👍🏼 as I'm single mother lots of ladies come to me for advice and same thing I found out that gossip people are unhappy with their lives so they create problems in others life

Originally posted by: anjali0111

Ya its a long post

But whatever you said was 100 percent correct

And please no need to apologize as this forum is for sharing views only.😳

I totally agree with you.

Its always a woman against woman. People keep saying this but after reading your post today i came to realize why is it so. You are right woman arw ao unhappy from the injustice done to them that they cant see any other woman happy. They subject every other woman to same torture which they endured.

Its unfortunate but true.

I typed it out on my laptop so didn’t really see how long it was until I saw it through my phone. You’re right haha it’s bloody long ☺️☺️

I have seen on a few other serials also older women saying things like “I had to endure it so you have to either” and this makes me feel sad. In my eyes in the same as if someone said “ I was abused so I have to go and abuse other people to make them feel the same”. Now I know this is on tv and not real life but I also understand that certain topics (although dramatised) are a representation of people’s lives.

The way I see it if a woman is happy, she wants others to feel that same happiness. It’s no coincidence that all the “vamps” have miserable lives. I couldn’t agree more what you said about women being our own enemies and it shouldn’t be like that because there’s already so much against us, we should stand with each other and give each other strength instead of putting each other down to make ourselves feel better.

Btw I know thankfully not all women are this way 😊

Originally posted by: dipali13

Nice to know I'm not the only person to think and most of the time talking same thing 🤗👍🏼 as I'm single mother lots of ladies come to me for advice and same thing I found out that gossip people are unhappy with their lives so they create problems in others life

Yes exactly. It’s like because they’re not happy they’ve got to make other ppl unhappy and the only way to do that is to gossip, put them down etc. It reminds me of jealous women when another woman is looking beautiful. Instead of a compliment they’ll choose to say something like “oooh she’s got so much of Make up on”

These types of women are half the problem and why other ppl feel the pressure about living up to “their” standards, knowing if they don’t they’ll be gossiped about and a reputation will be created.

Btw I think single mums are brilliant 😃

In season 1, kammo's character initially had a good character arc. Initially harassing babita Minnie, later on became friends with babita and business partner. Heck, I remember few scenes where khatri was badmouthing babita and kammo gave him a shut up call. She wasn't aware of the fact that khatri molested babita, and that was the reason babita Minnie hated her husband.

On the day of babita's sangeet( I think) , khatri made some lewd comment and babita was pissed and called him disgusting. And that's when kammo babita friendship broke. And since then her character took a hit and never recovered till now.

Had anyone ( naeem bi, Hanuman Singh) revealed about molestation episode when the fight began things could have been different.

About your post, "woman is a woman's worst enemy" is literally the worst message Indian tv has propagated. So much so that I have seen people using that phrase in real life- and every time I heard it, it felt insulting. Women don't like putting other women down. Uplifting other women is empowering, it feels good. Female solidarity is very rare to spot in TV or movies, and that's why I loved meeta- babita equation. Logically both should be tearing each other down, but instead they treated each other with respect and never crossed boundaries of decency.

The reason why this idea of woman vs woman is popular is because woman themselves has very little power in our society. So they exert power on people weaker than them- other women who are under them in social hierarchy. E.g. mother in law bossing around daughter in law. Or manipulating her son to make DIL's life miserable. - this kind of things give them illusion of having authority. It's bullying basically.

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

In season 1, kammo's character initially had a good character arc. Initially harassing babita Minnie, later on became friends with babita and business partner. Heck, I remember few scenes where khatri was badmouthing babita and kammo gave him a shut up call. She wasn't aware of the fact that khatri molested babita, and that was the reason babita Minnie hated her husband.

On the day of babita's sangeet( I think) , khatri made some lewd comment and babita was pissed and called him disgusting. And that's when kammo babita friendship broke. And since then her character took a hit and never recovered till now.

Had anyone ( naeem bi, Hanuman Singh) revealed about molestation episode when the fight began things could have been different.

About your post, "woman is a woman's worst enemy" is literally the worst message Indian tv has propagated. So much so that I have seen people using that phrase in real life- and every time I heard it, it felt insulting. Women don't like putting other women down. Uplifting other women is empowering, it feels good. Female solidarity is very rare to spot in TV or movies, and that's why I loved meeta- babita equation. Logically both should be tearing each other down, but instead they treated each other with respect and never crossed boundaries of decency.

The reason why this idea of woman vs woman is popular is because woman themselves has very little power in our society. So they exert power on people weaker than them- other women who are under them in social hierarchy. E.g. mother in law bossing around daughter in law. Or manipulating her son to make DIL's life miserable. - this kind of things give them illusion of having authority. It's bullying basically.

Firstly thank you for your reply and perspective 🤗

Bold- I don’t agree with the first part about women not liking putting other women down. SOME DO. And the point of my post wasn’t really about women in general being a woman’s enemy, it’s about SOME women and how these woman who are this way appear to be unhappy in their own lives and I think that’s why they do it.

I definitely agree with the second part of your statement. It does feel good and feel empowering however in general, it seems that women who are happy with their lives and in control of their lives are more into empowering other women.

You can’t deny that there are some women out there that are ever willing to put others down (and I don’t mean on tv, I mean in reality). If you look at the lives of these women 9 times out of 10 they’re probably in unhappy marriages or bitter and unhappy about something or the other, hence the negativity and not being able to see anyone else happy. On the flip side a woman who is sure of herself, happy with her choices and in control of her life is more likelier to be a woman who empowers another.

As I said in my post it’s not relating to ALL women, just the negative ones who make up the “society” that’s feared. The ones who mind everyone else’s business, gossip, make stuff up about others, engage in Chinese whispers. In terms of patiala babes it will be women like what saroj is like and was to babita, and how kammo made babita doubt her marriage and her self as a mother (regardless of whether she did it in anger). And yeah kammo weren’t this way throughout s1. She just had moments of being bitter(when she first met babita, and after babita insulted khatri at the wedding).

Although my post started off as reflecting the women in PB, I was also making reference to real life. These women exist in real life also. They’re the ones who will stand and snigger when another woman falls (not literally) instead of helping her up. They’re the ones who will blame a wife when her husband cheats or divorces her for not being able to keep a man or be a good wife, instead of being a support network.

You’re right to an extent that women have very little actual power in society. The power that they have is much deeper. It’s the power to change the future because the breed the future. Not all exercise this power tho

I will reiterate that I don’t mean ALL women

Originally posted by: Del00

Firstly thank you for your reply and perspective 🤗

Bold- I don’t agree with the first part about women not liking putting other women down. SOME DO. And the point of my post wasn’t really about women in general being a woman’s enemy, it’s about SOME women and how these woman who are this way appear to be unhappy in their own lives and I think that’s why they do it.

I definitely agree with the second part of your statement. It does feel good and feel empowering however in general, it seems that women who are happy with their lives and in control of their lives are more into empowering other women.

You can’t deny that there are some women out there that are ever willing to put others down (and I don’t mean on tv, I mean in reality). If you look at the lives of these women 9 times out of 10 they’re probably in unhappy marriages or bitter and unhappy about something or the other, hence the negativity and not being able to see anyone else happy. On the flip side a woman who is sure of herself, happy with her choices and in control of her life is more likelier to be a woman who empowers another.

As I said in my post it’s not relating to ALL women, just the negative ones who make up the “society” that’s feared. The ones who mind everyone else’s business, gossip, make stuff up about others, engage in Chinese whispers. In terms of patiala babes it will be women like what saroj is like and was to babita, and how kammo made babita doubt her marriage and her self as a mother (regardless of whether she did it in anger). And yeah kammo weren’t this way throughout s1. She just had moments of being bitter(when she first met babita, and after babita insulted khatri at the wedding).

Although my post started off as reflecting the women in PB, I was also making reference to real life. These women exist in real life also. They’re the ones who will stand and snigger when another woman falls (not literally) instead of helping her up. They’re the ones who will blame a wife when her husband cheats or divorces her for not being able to keep a man or be a good wife, instead of being a support network.

You’re right to an extent that women have very little actual power in society. The power that they have is much deeper. It’s the power to change the future because the breed the future. Not all exercise this power tho

I will reiterate that I don’t mean ALL women

Of course it does not apply to each and every woman. There are good women and there are bad women too. Just like good men and bad men. After all everyone is a human.

The point is general potrayal of women on TV is pathetic, potrayed as petty, immature people, actively trying to destroy other woman and that is far from the truth. Some women might be like that, but most do not actively try to sabotage other women's happiness. In a way, TV propagates that it's okay for women to plot against other women, it's a part of being women.

The idea about blaming woman for infidelity of husband is very unfair. It literally takes the blame away from the man. In babita- ashok- meeta triangle, initially babita blamed herself but the story stayed by her side and put blame where it belonged- on Ashok. meeta is the another woman, but was Ashok who is more responsible for the mess.. He was the one who was married, he should have stayed loyal to his wife in the first place. Still he gets involved with another woman, hides the fact that he is married and has a child. It gets revealed after 7 years or so and meeta is too much invested into the relationship with Ashok that she couldn't leave him even though her conscience is clear about the fact that what was going on was unfair to babita. Meeta's dilemma is genuine. She's at fault too, but I can't help but sympathize with her. Ashok has, in a way, cheated on meeta as well. Writers could have pitched babita against meeta, but thankfully that didn't happen. Both babita and meeta called out Ashok on many occasions. The level of complexity in this triangle was just too good to be true for Indian tv.