Mother ki daughter ko pakar bhi nahi payin gay: ajao saray - Page 31

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

I agree that Ashok does and should take the maximum share of the blame for the marriage falling apart. He decided to cheat on his wife and then not tell her about it for 10 years. Not couple years, 10 fking years 😲. I mean come on he is a coward. If anything, I don't fault Babita at all except that she didn't walk out of that marriage sooner. She might have not been an attentive wife, and been more focused on being a mother to Minnie, but why should she be blamed for Ashok cheating on her. Heck, Ashok is also Minnie's parent, and should have been as focused on Minnie as Babita was. What did he do? Got married to a barely adult girl, had unprotected sex with her, and left her to go to London just in a month? Didn't even ask his wife to come with him, didn't come for his child's birth. He clearly didn't give a shit about his new wife or his child. Babita should have picked up on that and left him sooner, but like NB pointed out she was scared of what would happen to her, to her daughter. Ashok doesn't get a free pass from me.

No one is giving him a free pass. Not for the things he did prior to London or after coming back. I think what some of us were wondering was that for the brief time that he did come back to India, how was Babita to him? Did she ever try to get to know him or did she busy herself in the mother / bahu roles?

If she didn't, then her fear of opening up could very well just stem from there. She never opened up to Ashok, obviously couldn't do it to the Khuranas or Minnie. So it'll be very difficult for her to do so with HS too. There are some areas that will be easy like Lovely, but there are others that are deeply personal, like emotional and physical intimacy.

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

Babita lacks confidence in that area. She knows HS is a passionate man. She must have felt it during pot making, and the alcohol scene. She feels she won’t be able to reciprocate to his passion in the same manner. She’s also aware of HS and Imarti’s passionate love story, so she feels she won’t be able to match up to Imarti, or that she won’t be as good of a lover to HS. She also has low self-esteem.

If only she talked to HS, she would know that he would never judge her. Instead he would be sensitive towards her needs.

Also what do we really know Babita and Ashok’s sex life? He might have not been considerate of her needs, I mean he is a selfish lad, and Babita just fulfilled it as a duty of being a wife. Did Ashok get her consent before having sex with her? Or Did Babita ever feel like she didn’t wanna have sex, but because of his pressure she gave in? Maybe there is a case of martial rape here? (I hope not). We don’t know. There is a major intimacy issue angle that the writers could explore.

So true...

That's what I was telling yesterday also that Babita was never a wife... She was always a mother... She don't even know how it's feels when a man touches u... She only got glimpse in pottery scene... When her face was flushed out with his touch... He effects her like anything and she was scared that if she can't be able to match him them will he be like same how he is now...

She needs time and about it she can discuss with him but nahi madam is being impulsive and doing things which are messing up relationships more...

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

All that is fine but she needs to be honest about what exactly she's afraid of. When HS & Minnie patch up, then what is she going to do? She can't hide behind Minnie again.

We don't know much about it but I have a strong feeling that it wasn't a positive experience for her. I really hope it wasn't marital rape but who knows to be honest. She might not have even thought it that way, and just chalked it off as being a part of her duty.

It will be a wonderful story line to explore but for the characters, communication and honesty is key. HS can't go around guessing things like that.

I completely agree with you. Yes, she needs to communicate this with HS.. but yeh show hai real life nahi, so for drama sake writers are just dragging this conversation because with a simple conversation, everything gets sorted then what else will they show 😆. Ab drag karenge yeh for another 20-30 episodes. Consummation bhi toh delay karna hai, remember consummations are a big deal in ITV show lol.

She can't hide behind Minnie every time. Some day, HS ka patience tutna hai, and he is gonna blast. I fear he's gonna start assuming that Babita doesn't desire him 😒.

I also don't think it was positive experience for her. Marital rape is a very sensitive topic to discuss, so writers might not explore that, but if they do, this is a great learning opportunity for Minnie as well. Lots of women, esp. in South Asian communities, don't even know or understand that marital rape is a real thing. That women deserve to give their consent before having sex, even if it is with their husbands. Consent is very important. I am going off track, but I will bet HS's mother was a victim of marital rape, given the kind of a horrible person HS's dad was, I will not be surprised.

Anyway, there is a intimacy issue angle they can explore. I hope we get to see something on that front.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

No one is giving him a free pass. Not for the things he did prior to London or after coming back. I think what some of us were wondering was that for the brief time that he did come back to India, how was Babita to him? Did she ever try to get to know him or did she busy herself in the mother / bahu roles?

If she didn't, then her fear of opening up could very well just stem from there. She never opened up to Ashok, obviously couldn't do it to the Khuranas or Minnie. So it'll be very difficult for her to do so with HS too. There are some areas that will be easy like Lovely, but there are others that are deeply personal, like emotional and physical intimacy.

Her not opening up to Ashok, maybe Ashok never made her feel comfortable, or cared for her feelings as much. Do you think she would have never told Ashok how lonely she felt when he's in london? Idk I feel like she must have at least on those initial days 😕. Honestly, I don't think writers will dive more into this. I feel Ashok and her is a closed case. Ashok might make an entry for Minnie to finally accept HS as her father, but I don't see them diverting towards Ashok and Babita.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I think she is afraid of the proximity, of feeling happy for her own self, of wanting her husband without guilt as a mother, and most importantly of no longer having a reason to put boundaries with HS. She has always enjoyed power plays in this relationship and so it continues.

I feel this too. She is just using Minnie as an excuse right now for much bigger issue here. It was evident in the morning scene between Hanita. Babita was trying to avoid HS's questions, but he questions her back saying why she didn't come back to their room if Minnie was already asleep. HS has certain spousal expectations from Babita now (as he should), and she's terrified of those expectations. Her reactions to his questions are evidence enough. She has intimacy issues, is afraid of the proximity, is guilty of desiring her husband, also mom-guilt. Everything. Babita is going through a roller coaster of emotions right now. Thats why I say, either NB or Poonam needs to give her some much needed advise ASAP.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

I think it was safe. His relationship with Babita was new grounds for him, and he has no idea what's going on with Minnie. But that room was his mother's and that sindoor ki dhabbi as well. She may have died tragically but she was a safe subject for him to talk about because she's history. There are no question marks to her, it's all periods. Babita and Minnie on the other hand, have become highly unpredictable.

Or, now that I think about it, she could also be the representation of loss. She was the first major element in his life that he lost. Then it was Imarti, and now Minnie and even Babita is on the verge of not being his.

I don't know what was running through his mind but the fact is that he tried to share something deeply personal to him and Babita just squandered it. Now I doubt he'll want to open up to her again about this.

This is what I was referring to yesterday when I said, the son in him is also going to be pushed aside / neglected.

Babita should bring it up herself after she's comes out of her zone and is free from her worries about Minnie, esp. when they start to share the room again (when is that gonna happen 😵). When she sees those pictures on the wall, she needs to bring up this topic to HS, so he can open up to her. I hope she does. I really really want him to share this part of his life with Babita.

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

She can't hide behind Minnie every time. Some day, HS ka patience tutna hai, and he is gonna blast. I fear he's gonna start assuming that Babita doesn't desire him 😒.

I also don't think it was positive experience for her. Marital rape is a very sensitive topic to discuss, so writers might not explore that, but if they do, this is a great learning opportunity for Minnie as well. Lots of women, esp. in South Asian communities, don't even know or understand that marital rape is a real thing. That women deserve to give their consent before having sex, even if it is with their husbands. Consent is very important. I am going off track, but I will bet HS's mother was a victim of marital rape, given the kind of a horrible person HS's dad was, I will not be surprised.

Anyway, there is a intimacy issue angle they can explore. I hope we get to see something on that front.

Loll, he wouldn't be that far off from his mark. So far, Babita hasn't given a single sign that she wants him that way.

Ufh! If the CVs do touch on this topic, it's going to be so painful to watch. Not to mention, it will put Ashok's court comment in a whole different light. I really don't want to think that way for HS' mom. It just won't be right. 😭

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

Her not opening up to Ashok, maybe Ashok never made her feel comfortable, or cared for her feelings as much. Do you think she would have never told Ashok how lonely she felt when he's in london? Idk I feel like she must have at least on those initial days 😕. Honestly, I don't think writers will dive more into this. I feel Ashok and her is a closed case. Ashok might make an entry for Minnie to finally accept HS as her father, but I don't see them diverting towards Ashok and Babita.

I hope she did but from what she said the other day, she made it seem like she never did because he never bothered to ask her.

But wouldn't Ashok's mere presence affect her? Especially if her issues haven't been put to rest?

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

Babita should bring it up herself after she's comes out of her zone and is free from her worries about Minnie, esp. when they start to share the room again (when is that gonna happen 😵). When she sees those pictures on the wall, she needs to bring up this topic to HS, so he can open up to her. I hope she does. I really really want him to share this part of his life with Babita.

I don't, especially not the way she treated him yesterday. It sucks to say this, but Babita has to prove herself worthy of his trust.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Wahi to.

I am hoping that NB doesn't take her anger out on Babita because if Minnie sees that she will go running to Beeji again and more siyappe.

Damn, NB is going to be hurting so much seeing HS like this. Lala is already feeling terrible. They were there when the whole Imarti thing happened, and to think this wedding had to end up this way? Uff!

I actually want a NB sunaoing Babita scene in her typical style for not caring about her son. I love NB and Babita's relationship. They can be completely honest with each other and NB actually loves and cares for Babita and her wellbeing, unlike that Beeji. Babita can get mad at NB haq se, like she would have with her own mother, and at the same time seek for her advise as well. Babita doesn't have to act like a dutiful bahu in front of NB. NB is the mother figure that both HS and Babita need in their lives. Can NB come and live at the haveli with these three already? 😊

We never talk about Babita loosing her parents. I assume it was right after she married Ashok, which is why I feel it was harder for her to leave Ashok sooner because she wouldn't have that parental support. Loosing her parents must have been hard for her too.

Both HS and Babita need to open up about loosing their parents to each other. Ugghhh writers please show us this at least.