Hanuman's hurt - Page 4

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Humare want karne se kya hoga 😆

Based on how the Khuranas left yesterday, Mini will deffo seek them out to console them. And they will all sit and cry about how Babita hurt them and wants to get rid of them 🙄

Ugh yes! As she gives Hanita space, she will end up spending more time with the Khuaranas. Thank goodness they live in NB's house, she is bound to spot this next disaster.

Right now NB is my only hope and to a certain extent Lala as well. 😆

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Did only his confidence as a father get impacted? Was his confidence as a father the only thing giving him confidence to be Babita’s husband as well?

I feel his overall confidence for shaken. It was bone deep hurt. It emanated from him feeling let down by Mini but I also feel he felt alone on the Babita front too. Mother-daughter are so closely interconnected, none of this can happen in a vacuum.

I actually never considered this to be a typical remarriage with kids because these characters don’t have typical equations with each other. It was always so much beyond labels.

So I didn’t think they needed a typical story of kids becoming a wedge issue in a remarriage. I always considered this to be about three relationships intertwining together on an individual level. They all share such a deep one on one connect....none of this is typical of a remarriage. They are not typical people. They are people with immense love in their hearts not conforming to societal labels....this is about charting their own journey and not being reduced to a mere trope of remarriage with kids.

I hope the writers maintain the essence of that...these characters and their equations have always been beyond labels. Even as they adapt to official titles of father wife and daughter, I want that original essence to be maintained.

I think it started with his confidence as a father being impacted but has/will spread to other areas too. As I said elsewhere, he will second-guess himself on many fronts and rather than let new conflicts arise, he might just maintain a distance from Minnie, and by extension from Babita too. I don't know how things will play out but yes even when Babita was talking about how Minnie would never hurt her, he must have noticed that there was no talk of how he felt there.

Totally agree with your post, especially the part in bold. It's different when the kids are too young to understand what's going on but Minnie is almost an adult, one he cannot have biological or legal claim to. The only thing he had was the dil ka rishta, and that very idea has been blown out of the water with this incident.

I know he wants the best for Minnie and her happiness is top prio, but if his bond with her, as supposedly one of the foundations of this marriage, is not strong enough then he is likely to feel vulnerable in many aspects. He said a few things to her, but the key words that stood out to me were: confidence, hero, and best. I think in his mind and heart he just lost all of those feelings/statuses. I can't stand seeing him like this.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yes, I hope they do explore why she kept that CD, and even knew where it had been all this time. It's not like Ashok is a great memory for her to hold on to.

Right, HS is only human and his actions and reactions are perfectly normal. I do hope he wonders what Babita really wants. He has the right to expect certain things as a spouse. Granted, he has been very understanding, par kab tak? Doesn't she want to be in this marriage? Doesn't she want him for herself the way he does? I also hope they raise the point about rushing this marriage and looking back to think the haste had not been a good idea.

It's quite possible he will hold back because of the reasons you mentioned and go back to the live-in relationship he had with mother-daughter (his version of it). Babita will continue to focus on Minnie's needs and not her and HS' which I think will leave him in limbo for a while. He won't demand anything and won't be at peace either. It is normal as a newly wed for him to want her company to start their new life in a beautiful way, and Babita should be thinking along those lines.

I think Babita does want him, but as always her articulation problem might become an issue. As she panics and flutters between Mini and him, will she be able to understand what assurance HS needs from her as well? He may go into a shell otherwise.

They both seriously need to stop hiding behind Mini and talk directly to each other about marriage and all the expectations it entails. Aise presumptions se kaam nahin chalega. Things may fester in an unhealthy manner despite all their love and understanding for each other.

Assurance and attention is also important.

It’s ironic coz the story is trying to pitch this as Mini being neglected but HS is the one being neglected the most notably 😕

Originally posted by: inlieu

I think it started with his confidence as a father being impacted but has/will spread to other areas too. As I said elsewhere, he will second-guess himself on many fronts and rather than let new conflicts arise, he might just maintain a distance from Minnie, and by extension from Babita too. I don't know how things will play out but yes even when Babita was talking about how Minnie would never hurt her, he must have noticed that there was no talk of how he felt there.

Totally agree with your post, especially the part in bold. It's different when the kids are too young to understand what's going on but Minnie is almost an adult, one he cannot have biological or legal claim to. The only thing he had was the dil ka rishta, and that very idea has been blown out of the water with this incident.

I know he wants the best for Minnie and her happiness is top prio, but if his bond with her, as supposedly one of the foundations of this marriage, is not strong enough then he is likely to feel vulnerable in many aspects. He said a few things to her, but the key words that stood out to me were: confidence, hero, and best. I think in his mind and heart he just lost all of those feelings/statuses. I can't stand seeing him like this.

Agree with all these points.

HS absolutely noticed that there was no mention of him in the discussion between B and M. They were busy reassuring only each other.

The dil ka Rishta line made me sad 🥺....sigh. True. That was his main source of confidence vis a vis his equation with Mini....that it was built purely on love and not any technicality...but now he’s doubting whether it was as strong as he thought.

I do feel though that both HS and Babita need to realize that the marriage cannot survive only on the strength of his bond with Mini. Yes, it’s a core part of the bonding of the trio but HB’s relationship has to be able to stand on its own...they have to want each other FOR EACH OTHER, and not just for Mini. It’s not fair to all three of them to only hinge it all on Mini.

Mini can be an anchor, a support...but the other two pillars also have to hold strong and not put all the weight only on one pillar.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

I think Babita does want him, but as always her articulation problem might become an issue. As she panics and flutters between Mini and him, will she be able to understand what assurance HS needs from her as well? He may go into a shell otherwise.

They both seriously need to stop hiding behind Mini and talk directly to each other about marriage and all the expectations it entails. Aise presumptions se kaam nahin chalega. Things may fester in an unhealthy manner despite all their love and understanding for each other.

Assurance and attention is also important.

It’s ironic coz the story is trying to pitch this as Mini being neglected but HS is the one being neglected the most notably 😕

Yes, Babita will have to learn more about HS without Minnie's help just like he will have to learn more about Minnie without Babita being in the picture, thought I'm not sure.

Re: the part in bold, I think it's deliberate. I have been looking at the montage again and HS is to one side, looking in a different direction while mother and daughter exchange glances. It's gotta mean something. There's always been a strong current in this show of the impact on men in society when relationships go bad, and how social conditioning often make us trivialize their emotions and pain. He suffered so much but there hasn't been much focus on him or people in the mohalla or elsewhere trying to help him in his misery. The wedding was his too, a second chance for him too, but not much focus on him either.

The video clip affected Babita but hurt him far far more, yet the first impulse was to look at how Babita, the bride would feel, and not how HS would react. He couldn't handle it and tried to speak about his feelings but no one could understand the source of his pain because all the previous incidents leading up to this had been hidden in his heart. He had never spoken about some of those some of them and chose to overlook them but they had continued to pile up and now he is being crushed under their weight.

As he withdraws a little bit, he will share even less of his feelings and this vicious cycle will continue. I also really hate seeing that men feel they cannot cry or show emotions because of social conditioning. It causes a lot of psychological issues that never get addressed because they are expected to man up and not whine.

Frankly, I am more than happy for them to focus on him and his pain. He has just been giving and giving and giving and in turn has been receiving pain and pain and pain. Khaali hota jaa raha hai.

Excellent analysis of the episode by you, Anu! 🤗

Originally posted by: inlieu

Re: the part in bold, I think it's deliberate. I have been looking at the montage again and HS is to one side, looking in a different direction while mother and daughter exchange glances. It's gotta mean something. There's always been a strong current in this show of the impact on men in society when relationships go bad, and how social conditioning often make us trivialize their emotions and pain. He suffered so much but there hasn't been much focus on him or people in the mohalla or elsewhere trying to help him in his misery. The wedding was his too, a second chance for him too, but not much focus on him either.

The video clip affected Babita but hurt him far far more, yet the first impulse was to look at how Babita, the bride would feel, and not how HS would react. He couldn't handle it and tried to speak about his feelings but no one could understand the source of his pain because all the previous incidents leading up to this had been hidden in his heart. He had never spoken about some of those some of them and chose to overlook them but they had continued to pile up and now he is being crushed under their weight.

As he withdraws a little bit, he will share even less of his feelings and this vicious cycle will continue. I also really hate seeing that men feel they cannot cry or show emotions because of social conditioning. It causes a lot of psychological issues that never get addressed because they are expected to man up and not whine.

Frankly, I am more than happy for them to focus on him and his pain. He has just been giving and giving and giving and in turn has been receiving pain and pain and pain. Khaali hota jaa ra hai.

I’m not sure that’s what the montage is trying to show. He’s shown somewhat smiling initially as he holds Babita’s hand and Babita’s full focus is on stopping Mini from leaving. She doesn’t even look at HS in the montage.

I’m also basing this off of the weekend tweets which fully focused only on how apparently Mini will be hurt and disappointed by HB.

So the focus seems intended to be on Mini but somehow, it’s HS’s pain that’s standing out.

Yes, it would be nice if the writing allows HS to also have catharsis for his pain rather than going overboard in victimizing Mini.

Ironically, I didn’t feel as bad for Mini or Babita yesterday. Even the precap with them trying to show bechari Mini doing bidaai of Mom didn’t do much for me emotionally.

I couldn’t get HS’s obvious neglect out of my mind and the fact that no one thought of him.

Yesterday’s epi encapsulated everything that was said in the tweets about Mini being “disappointed by her hero” and HS not living up to her expectations....that was the overt intent. And yet, the depiction of HS’s hurt just took things to another level. Mini’s supposed disappointment became secondary.

So I don’t know how much they will focus on working through his pain but right now the story does call for that to be addressed rather than only victimizing Mini.

It’s possible that just like last time, Mini falling sick will brush aside all issues and help them close the gaps again. She is pretty close to a breakdown. The psychological toll is showing in how much her reactions have slowed down. She looked numb for the most part yesterday.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

I’m not sure that’s what the montage is trying to show. He’s shown somewhat smiling initially as he holds Babita’s hand and Babita’s full focus is on stopping Mini from leaving. She doesn’t even look at HS in the montage.

I’m also basing this off of the weekend tweets which fully focused only on how apparently Mini will be hurt and disappointed by HB.

So the focus seems intended to be on Mini but somehow, it’s HS’s pain that’s standing out.

Yes, it would be nice if the writing allows HS to also have catharsis for his pain rather than going overboard in victimizing Mini.

Ironically, I didn’t feel as bad for Mini or Babita yesterday. Even the precap with them trying to show bechari Mini doing bidaai of Mom didn’t do much for me emotionally.

I couldn’t get HS’s obvious neglect out of my mind and the fact that no one thought of him.

Yesterday’s epi encapsulated everything that was said in the tweets about Mini being “disappointed by her hero” and HS not living up to her expectations....that was the overt intent. And yet, the depiction of HS’s hurt just took things to another level. Mini’s supposed disappointment became secondary.

So I don’t know how much they will focus on working through his pain but right now the story does call for that to be addressed rather than only victimizing Mini.

It’s possible that just like last time, Mini falling sick will brush aside all issues and help them close the gaps again. She is pretty close to a breakdown. The psychological toll is showing in how much her reactions have slowed down. She looked numb for the most part yesterday.

@bold

That's exactly how I feel. I also think Aniruddh did so much with his performance there that simple dialogues were taken to a level that pierced my heart.

I agree that his pain needs to be addressed but I don't think catharsis is going to happen anytime soon. As you said, perhaps her mental health issues will force him to confront his childhood trauma at least and then help them really connect, this time with Babita being involved. She cannot be left in the dark anymore because it will not work out for the family long-term.

I think the writers are waiting for Babita to be stronger before showing HS unraveling completely. It would be a disaster if it happens earlier because no one can handle or help him when he loses it, not even NB.

As for Minnie being hurt, I think she might feel him being distant and react to his aloofness as though he doesn't trust her, whereas he too is giving her space. Yeh space space karte karte distance badh jaayega.

Originally posted by: inlieu

@bold

That's exactly how I feel. I also think Aniruddh did so much with his performance there that simple dialogues were taken to a level that pierced my heart.

I agree that his pain needs to be addressed but I don't think catharsis is going to happen anytime soon. As you said, perhaps her mental health issues will force him to confront his childhood trauma at least and then help them really connect, this time with Babita being involved. She cannot be left in the dark anymore because it will not work out for the family long-run.

I think the writers are waiting for Babita to be stronger before showing HS unraveling completely. It would be a disaster if it happens earlier because no one can handle or help him, not even NB when he loses it.

Anirudh was another level of brilliant yesterday for sure 👏....he’s fab as HS in general but yes you are right, yesterday he took even simple dialogues to another level and made HS’s pain so very tangible in overshadowing everything else that was said.

Ashnoor was quite good too but he stood out the most in the epi.

Babita really doesn’t seem like she’s going to achieve that strength and understanding anytime soon especially if her focus remains on Mini without any attempts to understand HS. He toh will back off again after losing confidence. Mini will back off in confusion thinking she needs to give the couple one on one time. Aur Babita is clueless. Lol toh kaise hoga solve?

Mini avoiding HS may again give him the wrong idea that she doesn’t want him as a father and didn’t want this shaadi 😕

They will all need to find a way to communicate rather than wallowing in individual hurt and presumptions.

Deffo intrigued to see how the writers handle it.

Originally posted by: inlieu

As for Minnie being hurt, I think she might feel him being distant and react to his aloofness as though he doesn't trust her, whereas he too is giving her space. Yeh space space karte karte distance badh jaayega.

Sigh ....these two are my favs. It’s gonna be very hard to see them like this.

Ironic how similar they both can be. Both think they came in between. HS will think he came between mother daughter and Mini will think she came between husband wife. Both will try to back off to let the other fill the spot in Babita’s life of watching out for her.

It may fall to Babita then to make them both assured of their distinct place in her life. But she herself seems overwhelmed by her past issues still 🤷‍♀️