From the author's desk: Hello people! thanks for patiently waiting by me and for the beautiful comments that you left for me... jappies to all of you for your likes, comments and PMs, and here I bring you Arnav's thoughts! Leave me your comments! I am looking forward to it.
Happy reading!
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Chapter 14: New beginnings
Part 3: In a fit of Pique
Arnav was astonished at how effortless it was for him to speak with Khushi, to open up to her. It was almost as easy as he can banter with her. Even the silences in her presence didn’t feel awkward. He first discovered the fact when he had wanted to spend time with her when he shut everyone else, he had used the time to get away from everyone when they had spent the day together. He had presumed that it was perhaps because they were spending time like friends, speaking about nothing delicately personal- of course, they did speak about their interests and stuff… but nothing beyond that.
He had initially decided that he felt so comfortable with her because she was more like him when it came to level-headedness. They shared a lot of common interests and had a lot of differences of opinion about their approaches that they never went out of discussion points- or rather debate points. At that point, he had decided that what he had felt towards her was friendship and nothing more. They both shared a rapport that went beyond their banters, differences of opinions and usual acquaintanceship.
That night, when they were on the bridge, watching over the city lights, Khushi had tried to ask him if anything was bothering him. He had resisted and she didn’t push him, that was something that he liked about her. She always knew her limits and gave the other person their space. He knew, that day on that bridge, if only she had insisted, perhaps, he would not have minded much- and he might have even opened up. Normally, his confidantes were Nani or Akaash. He felt Khushi was getting there fast.
How quickly that perspective changed…A torturing bike ride back home with her in the front and her hair brushing on his face was all it took for him to realize that she appealed to him in more ways than a friend. Even more surprising was the fact that he was not acting on impulse. That was surprising because, it wasn’t his usual demeanor. Normally, when he felt special about a girl, he never hesitated to ask her out. But with Khushi, he didn’t want to rush it. While he had wanted to take it slow, but the fact that she was thinking of moving out, changed the dynamics completely.
That night when she told him that she was going to check if Buaji had returned back so that she can move in with her, it upset him so much that he spent a sleepless night. By morning, he knew he would do anything to stop her. It was at that point that he had realized that he was growing fond of her and his feelings for her was getting into realms that had long crossed friendship and had ventured into attraction. For the first time, he felt that destiny was turning the tables on him. This attraction that he felt towards Khushi was not like what he normally felt with the other girls. That realization was both exhilarating and terrifying.
Akaash and Payal had always pointed out to him that he wore his heart on his sleeve. Right from his teens. Perhaps, when he had started going out with girls, this has always been Payal’s mock frustrations that he didn’t bring the same girl twice whenever he planned on twin date along with Akaash and Payal. Between them it was always a given that while Akaash was going steady with Payal, Arnav kept changing his girls. But, that was understood because he kept saying that he wasn’t very serious about those relationships and he did not meet the right girl yet. He wasn’t a playboy either. His relationships always hovered over fascination or companionship and the moment he realized that the girl started to take it seriously or demanded commitment, that was when he put a stop to it. As long as it was taken easy, it was ok with him. It was an unwritten tradition that siblings grew excited when there was a girl in his love life expecting her to be the “one” but only to later understand that it was just the passing clouds yet again.
This was why, he got very frustrated with Dadi’s action. She knew him well, then why would she take the matter into her hands and take a decision on his behalf? She rushed into announcing his engagement. True, Sheetal happened to be a family friend as well but that was not why he was seeing her. Neither did it mean that he was ready to marry her nor was it a criteria to qualify her to become his wife. Even more vexing was the fact that Dadi was still adamant with her choice. As if he was going to cave in. He knew what he wanted.
That was how he dealt with relationships, at-least until Khushi happened.
One of the firsts for him, he wanted to take this slow. He knew that she wasn’t like the other girls that he had acquainted with, in the capacity of girlfriend. There was not a situation that he could remember when he was hesitant to go and ask a girl out. But with Khushi, he wanted to know what was in her mind. So far, he could sense only mixed signals from her. One day, she would go full throttle with playful hints, the very next day, she would withdraw.
Then when they fought for the first time, the first real fight when he got angry with her for not paying heed to him in Sameer’s case, he realized that they were on the same boat- she was also fighting the battle within her- while he had realized that it is a battle that he lost a while ago, she was still trying to fathom a way to control the madness. That night, he also realized that he couldn’t stand to see her crying and more bemusing was the fact that he wasn’t able to say no to her if she cried- however bad he thought her decision was!
Arnav suspected that she was hesitant for some reason, but had no clue what. Was it a past relationship? Aman? She wasn’t forthcoming to speak about Aman either. If she wanted her time and space, then he will give that to her. But he knew one thing for certain. There was no looking back.
Today, when she had walked into his room, the twinkle in her eyes when he showed her his mother’s garden, when they spoke about their mothers, it all felt so natural. She had then shown symptoms of withdrawal again when he had mentioned Sheetal, but he took a chance. True, he had decided to take it slow, but that didn’t mean he cannot nudge her once in a while… As he had expected, his plan paid off.
Later when she fell into his arms, his resolve to take it slow was almost pushed to the verge of breaking. As if to add fuel to the already raging fire inside him, she looked dazed and lost in thoughts and so vulnerable. It had taken him a mammoth of a resolve to put her down and stand at a decent distance.
Then as the night ripened, they had chatted about their dreams and ambitions and apprehensions, it felt so right and at ease. He had lost count of how many times he had smiled during the conversation- longing for many such nights along his life with her by his side.
When she asked about his fight with Dadi, his first impulse was not to speak about it and spoil the lovely night. He wasn’t hesitant to talk to her about Sheetal and his relationship status with her. But he wasn’t sure if this was the right time. His past relationships weren’t serious. Was he ready to handle if she spoke about hers? It wasn’t in his nature to judge any one based on their past relationships, what was troubling him was a greater fear. What if she told him that she was already in a relationship with Aman? He was hit by a wave of jealousy whenever he was mentioned by her and with a jolt, he realized that he had started to grow possessive about her and with that came another realization. She was subject to the same apprehensions as him.
He chanced a look at her, she looked disappointed that he had turned her down. It was then he decided that he would fight his monsters on his own, but at this moment, he would give in to her request.
With an impulse, he took her hands in his. A sharp gasp on her side indicated that she hadn’t expected this.
“Make me speak Khushi” he told her in a tender voice “ask me what you want to know”
***
Khushi was speechless. She kept looking at him.
“Are you alright?” asked Arnav
But she couldn’t trust her voice to answer him and merely nodded.
“You were asking me something” he prodded again “about dadi?”
“You are not speaking with Dadi”
He nodded in affirmation
“but why?”
Arnav kept quiet
“Is it about the engagement announcement?”
“you already know the answer and you still ask me?”
“but what’s wrong with her wanting you to settle down?”
“there is nothing wrong with the wish Khushi… don’t you get it? It’s my decision to make”
She gave him a hard look
“That’s what is puzzling me” she told finally “it’s hard to believe that you are scared of marital commitments”
“Is that what you think of me? That I am angry with her because I am running away from those responsibilities?”
“It’s definitely seems like that to everyone else” Khushi told him “You are in a relationship with Sheetal, you both like each other, the families ties run into the past and so what stops you from taking the leap?”
Arnav stared at her for a full minute before he asked her the next question
“you want me to get married to Sheetal?”
“your family wants it”
“Talk for yourself”
“Why would my opinion matter here”
“Answer me Khushi, are you telling me that it doesn’t matter for you if I marry Sheetal?”
Taken back, Khushi turned towards the plants before she answered him
“Why would I be bothered about it?” she stammered.
Arnav was getting angry. How frustrating it was to know that this slip of a girl can impact his emotions so easily as in case of flipping a page of the book she was holding in her hand, and yet had no idea of what she was doing to him? More annoying was the fact that she was equally affected by him but was in a denial. How could she tell him that it didn’t matter to her if he married someone else? While, on the other hand, he was losing sleep over his assumptions about her relationship with Aman. Or was he over thinking about her reactions?
“So it doesn’t make a difference?” he asked her gritting his teeth
Khushi nervously shook her head.
Arnav got up from the swing pulling her up as well.
“thanks for the advice Khushi, I will think about it” he told her, dropping her hands “I think it is already too late. Thanks for keeping me company. Good night !”
With that he walked towards the door which opened to the pool and showed her out.
Khushi felt offended with the instant dismissal I, too shocked to even speak to him and in an effort to not start crying in front of him, she walked off murmuring a good night.
To be continued.
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Oopsy! sorry to break your hearts... Will come back soon with another update. Till then, cheers!
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