Is this love? - Page 5

Originally posted by: inlieu

I don't know if I will be able to accept her about turn now. But then again it's true to her nature, she lashes out, hurts him, then does a u-turn.

Can't work like that all the time.

I think that's her nature as shown in the show.. obviously if she does that under influence of Minnie insistence then one would doubt her own trust and understanding of Hanuman. But then this woman has that doubts due to her past.. that is why I feel Hanuman telling Minnie about complication of their relationship was very important. That showed how well he had understood babita , her hesitation in accepting this relation openly..one would expect same level of understanding from Babita for Hanuman but I feel she has been too occupied with her life and problems that she has not paid much heed to problems that he has faced.Also because Hanuman has never shown his vulnerability and asked for any support or help. And now when he is in trouble and needs support she needs to see beyond her self.

Originally posted by: inlieu

You make absolute sense. I am actually feeling that HS is indeed too good for her, she really is unworthy of him, at least in this state. Just because Ashok betrayed her doesn't mean that she carries that burden forward and behaves as if she is entitled to HS' love by default or does not even try to understand his connection to his past. Relationships need work and I am currently not seeing much of it from her. It's totally up to her if she wants to pursue this or not, but I want it to be aar ya paar for her too. No more giving mixed signals.

I also feel that even if HS has been extremely patient with her, he is reaching a point where he is fed up of what she's doing (or not doing). He's a human being, not a saint, which is what makes him so real and relatable. He deserves to be happy but maybe Babita really is not the right person for him. It was fine all this time when he was loving her from a distance but now that there is a window to heart that's opened, he is seeing that things are not so hunky dory in daylight. He deserves much better and I'd rather he remain alone that tie himself to a woman who can truly never match up to what he needs. He gives, and gives, and gives, and goes above and beyond his means for her. In her case, I sometimes feel she extends a hand but if it's just out of reach, she doesn't take a step forward to get to it.

The writers never do anything accidentally or just for the sake of it, so Babita's behavior here is not a one-off or "mistake" in scripting. This is consistent with her nature. I don't know if I can find it acceptable if she suddenly starts using her common sense and shows her belief in him or starts to support him. It would not work for me to see her do a 180.

Not all love stories end up with two people living together happily ever after. I am actually now leaning towards them remaining very good friends who haves strong feelings for each other but choose not to act upon, perhaps remaining co-parents to Minnie.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I am also disappointed for HS. He has been through enough. No more, no more. She hurt him when he needed her the most, as a friend, as a potential lover. I don't know how she can redeem herself in my eyes after this.

A agree with every word of yours Jean and feel exactly ditto the same.

Yes enough is enough and she seems to be beyond redemption in my eyes insofar as Hanuman Singh is concerned. So a 180 degress turn from her would not work for me either.

In fact I have reached a stage where I don;t even see them as great friends. He already has Lala. Lala has never doubted him for a second. He knows him in and out. So does naeem Bi, Minnie too and even beeji understands that HS ould never have been the perpetrator of CULPABLE HOMICIDE, Babita's new favourite word.

I will be happy with HS just being Minnie's dad and Minnie being the best daughter any father can have.

This is where I have reached after rooting so much for Hanita.

Sad isn't it?

Originally posted by: inlieu

I don't know if I will be able to accept her about turn now. But then again it's true to her nature, she lashes out, hurts him, then does a u-turn.

Can't work like that all the time.

AGREE.

Had i been HS I would have been sick to the gills of this blow hot blow cold behaviour and OTT behaviour such as the alcohol episode, etc. Babita is actually on a completely different plane altogether whereas HS is actually a very uncomplicated upfront guy! Once he gives his loyalty, he doesn't waver ever or back out. He is there with those he loves through thick and thin and no questions asked, no explanations sought.

Originally posted by: riti4u

I think that's her nature as shown in the show.. obviously if she does that under influence of Minnie insistence then one would doubt her own trust and understanding of Hanuman. But then this woman has that doubts due to her past.. that is why I feel Hanuman telling Minnie about complication of their relationship was very important. That showed how well he had understood babita , her hesitation in accepting this relation openly..one would expect same level of understanding from Babita for Hanuman but I feel she has been too occupied with her life and problems that she has not paid much heed to problems that he has faced.Also because Hanuman has never shown his vulnerability and asked for any support or help. And now when he is in trouble and needs support she needs to see beyond her self.

I was super pissed off when she said that you only see the bits and pieces of a person that that person wants to show you himself.

Babita used to cry openly and show her pain and share her troubles with HS when she was struggling. That doesn't mean he has to do the same. They are not the same person. She should understand that by now. In all this time, he has only mentioned Imarti fleetingly, except when he introduced her, that too when he was drunk.

@bold absolutely right. He has always understood her and tried to be accommodating, but now he's hurting beyond belief and can't do that at full capacity. I can't even imagine the nightmare he's in right now.

And he is not the types who would share his problems. Knowing how babes is and being Minnie's father his immediate instinct would be to protect them.

Apart from this you can only share with someone who is strong and babita is too weak. You need to inspire confidence and trust in a person for that person to make a clean breast of their problems. He would have with Imarti.

And every time he tried to push her to openly admit her feelings such as that lovely scene when they had to make a list of things they had done that hurt the other person (on Hanuman's instigation of course!), she backs out when prodded on about if she felt bad that he touched Mita.

And that was not the first time. She is forever in denial mode. Then what on earth do you expect the guy to do yaar? You still expect him to feel comfortable enough to share all his problems with her?

Originally posted by: inlieu

I was super pissed off when she said that you only see the bits and pieces of a person that that person wants to show you himself.

Oh boy I was so so so pissed off too!!!!! What rot!!!! And then she went on to compare Ashok and HS!!!!!!!!!!

Babita used to cry openly and show her pain and share her troubles with HS when she was struggling. That doesn't mean he has to do the same. They are not the same person. She should understand that by now. In all this time, he has only mentioned Imarti fleetingly, except when he introduced her, that too when he was drunk.

Oh god Jean, read my above post. I hadn't read yours when I wrote that. WE ARE TOO MUCH ALIKE!!!!!!!!!!! It's crazy!

@bold absolutely right. He has always understood her and tried to be accommodating, but now he's hurting beyond belief and can't do that at full capacity. I can't even imagine the nightmare he's in right now.

Jean my messages are in bold below your text!!!

Originally posted by: Padmajaan

A agree with every word of yours Jean and feel exactly ditto the same.

Yes enough is enough and she seems to be beyond redemption in my eyes insofar as Hanuman Singh is concerned. So a 180 degress turn from her would not work for me either.

In fact I have reached a stage where I don;t even see them as great friends. He already has Lala. Lala has never doubted him for a second. He knows him in and out. So does naeem Bi, Minnie too and even beeji understands that HS ould never have been the perpetrator of CULPABLE HOMICIDE, Babita's new favourite word.

I will be happy with HS just being Minnie's dad and Minnie being the best daughter any father can have.

This is where I have reached after rooting so much for Hanita.

Sad isn't it?

@bold

yes, me too.

Sad, but maybe this is a lesson that second chances may not always be what they seem. Maybe both of them thought they had found a new life partner, but it was not meant to be.

I am not sure how this will play out but even if they get to a love story that completes, I wonder what they can do to make it convincing.

HS should step up and ask for his right to be happy with her, his right over her, if they are to have a proper relationship. He has mentioned on a few occasions that he doesn't like mother-daughter taking him for granted. I hope he continues to maintain this perspective because I would never want to see a henpecked HS.

Originally posted by: inlieu

@bold

yes, me too.

Sad, but maybe this is a lesson that second chances may not always be what they seem. Maybe both of them thought they had found a new life partner, but it was not meant to be.

I am not sure how this will play out but even if they get to a love story that completes, I wonder what they can do to make it convincing.

HS should step up and ask for his right to be happy with her, his right over her, if they are to have a proper relationship. He has mentioned on a few occasions that he doesn't like mother-daughter taking him for granted. I hope he continues to maintain this perspective because I would never want to see a henpecked HS.

Lol that conjures up such funny images! a henpecked HS!!! hahahahaha

Originally posted by: Padmajaan

And he is not the types who would share his problems. Knowing how babes is and being Minnie's father his immediate instinct would be to protect them.

Apart from this you can only share with someone who is strong and babita is too weak. You need to inspire confidence and trust in a person for that person to make a clean breast of their problems. He would have with Imarti.

And every time he tried to push her to openly admit her feelings such as that lovely scene when they had to make a list of things they had done that hurt the other person (on Hanuman's instigation of course!), she backs out when prodded on about if she felt bad that he touched Mita.

And that was not the first time. She is forever in denial mode. Then what on earth do you expect the guy to do yaar? You still expect him to feel comfortable enough to share all his problems with her?

I feel as if you are reading my mind... She really is not there yet to be his jeevan saathi, shareek-e-hayaat, ardhangini, life partner, etc.

I also think that he's been waiting for her to step up so that she can be ready. Ready to listen to him, to give of herself to him, to talk about things that have nothing to do with her but everything to do with him, to be able to unload some of his burden just by sharing with her. How on earth can he do this when she's been so closed and seemed reluctant to commit to anything?

Even after that pot making experience, instead of following her instincts and going to him, she stopped herself at the stairs and did nothing. Even when he was leaving for Chandigarh she chose to say nothing. He came running back because of the song and she said nothing. He risked going upstairs in a houseful of people just to spend time with her on the balcony, trying to discuss the theft and then reading the paper if only to steal a few extra minutes with her, looking at her expectantly, but she said nothing. He was hoping she'd take his side when NB was calling him a sharaabi, showing him that she would fight for him but she did nothing. That night she went on a rampage of her own and when he confronted her about his rights over her, she had the best opening ever to change the status quo, but what did she do? Nothing. He came home early from work to help out with the pooja, and looked at her. She could have tried to sort out the problem but she did: nothing. He just called himself Minnie's father but after such a monumental change in their lives she said nothing.

I get your POV but as I said Babita has been mostly centered around her problems and yes she does try to bring in sympathy factor for herself by constantly reminding her difficult life. I have seen real people like that ..I know where she comes from..there are people who are self absorbed and it's interesting to me that I know in real life such a person. Babita always needs someone like HS to vent her feelings to feel light .. She has done that with HS in many occasions. First discussing about how she resigned and it's implications where HS advices beautifully reminding her about her strength. Also she didn't ask HS directly but she wanted to hear his advice on her asking Beeji and dadu to meet Minnie..Only decision that she took so confidently on her own had somehow silent support of HS with him giving that hand to her while she is in her thought process... Now it's time for her to think independently.I would have loved if she had decided to help him seeing scene in precap between him and Imarti's dad but Minnie insisting her to help HS will be again leading her to her usual character of needing a push..They need to show her growth.. otherwise in this relationship HS has definitely done more than her and deserves better.