Babita's Relationship to Intimacy

As you all know today's episode was just wow!

The intensity of their gazes, the overwhelming passion whether it's out of anger or love, the desire to want more but remembering their boundaries - it was all so well done!

I'm sure everyone has something that they want to talk about but the subject I want to approach is Babita and her relationship to physical and emotional intimacy.

Firstly, she was married off at the young of age of eighteen - the time when lots of people are still exploring themselves. They're either developing crushes, going on dates, having break ups or just letting themselves bask in all the colors of love. Babita couldn't do that. I doubt she had the luxury of meeting Ashok beforehand and finding out what kind of man he was. Instead, she was wedded, and told he is her everything. That he will be her protector, savior, best friend, eternal and loyal love etc. Since everyone was telling her that, she believed them. After all, what other choice did she have?

Then Ashok left along with all the promises and vows he made to her. I don't think one month post marriage is enough time for a wife and husband to spend some intimate moments. There are so many rituals that need to be conducted, so many families to visit, not to mention the adjustment period for everyone to settle into their new roles. And it's not like Babita could lay down her complaints and frustrations to Ashok openly. She doesn't know what he's like and regardless of his personality, there's no way he would have heard anything negative about his family. She didn't get the opportunity to connect with him on an emotional level. She couldn't tell him about her desire to continue her studies. She couldn't tell him whether she was even ready to get married at such a young age or not. She couldn't tell him anything because he just left and never looked back.

Then there's the physical intimacy. Yes, they have had sex and its by product is Minnie. But was there love in this union? Was he gentle? Was he considerate of her feelings and her desires? Did he take her of her as he should have or was he dismissive? Were they only intimate for the purpose of producing a child or do they have some stolen moments too?

Minnie is seventeen years old right now while Babes is thirty-five. Meaning, Babes had Minnie when she was only eighteen years old. Yes, Babes loves Minnie with her whole heart but she had to become a mother at the age of eighteen. At that age, I had finished high school and was going to start my first year at university. I can't even imagine being married, let alone become pregnant. The amount of responsibilities that were thrown onto her shoulders are immense and not having a husband by her side to help her through them all - she would have been awfully lonely. And she stayed lonely for seventeen years. I don't know how it is in India, but I doubt expressing sexual desires even if it is for your own husband is accepted. Even in last week's episode, Madhu had to explain she bribes her husband with sex in a roundabout way, and that conversation was being held in a friendly atmosphere between women only. I doubt Babita has this conversation with herself let alone with other women.

After seventeen years, she's getting those desires awakened again. Something is stirring inside of her and it's not out of any compulsion or expectation. It's agonizingly slow, but it's filled with personal choice. Boundaries are tested, steps are withdrawn when they're taken too far and there's a gentleness underlying everything. She's being given the opportunity to decide for herself what she's feeling and how it is that she wishes to act upon them. She has already taken several steps to becoming emotionally intimate with HS and has accepted his feelings in return. It's the physical intimacy that's a bit more complicated since it's concrete. It's tangible and can be felt with all of one's senses. She can touch him, smell him, hear him, see him, and taste him. And he, her. Their connection won't be abstract like the exchange of ideas and words and this time around they can't deny nor misunderstand what transpires between them.

Beautifully written by you, @TM! 👏

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

As you all know today's episode was just wow!

The intensity of their gazes, the overwhelming passion whether it's out of anger or love, the desire to want more but remembering their boundaries - it was all so well done!

I'm sure everyone has something that they want to talk about but the subject I want to approach is Babita and her relationship to physical and emotional intimacy.

Firstly, she was married off at the young of age of eighteen - the time when lots of people are still exploring themselves. They're either developing crushes, going on dates, having break ups or just letting themselves bask in all the colors of love. Babita couldn't do that. I doubt she had the luxury of meeting Ashok beforehand and finding out what kind of man he was. Instead, she was wedded, and told he is her everything. That he will be her protector, savior, best friend, eternal and loyal love etc. Since everyone was telling her that, she believed them. After all, what other choice did she have?

Then Ashok left along with all the promises and vows he made to her. I don't think one month post marriage is enough time for a wife and husband to spend some intimate moments. There are so many rituals that need to be conducted, so many families to visit, not to mention the adjustment period for everyone to settle into their new roles. And it's not like Babita could lay down her complaints and frustrations to Ashok openly. She doesn't know what he's like and regardless of his personality, there's no way he would have heard anything negative about his family. She didn't get the opportunity to connect with him on an emotional level. She couldn't tell him about her desire to continue her studies. She couldn't tell him whether she was even ready to get married at such a young age or not. She couldn't tell him anything because he just left and never looked back.

Then there's the physical intimacy. Yes, they have had sex and its by product is Minnie. But was there love in this union? Was he gentle? Was he considerate of her feelings and her desires? Did he take her of her as he should have or was he dismissive? Were they only intimate for the purpose of producing a child or do they have some stolen moments too?

Minnie is seventeen years old right now while Babes is thirty-five. Meaning, Babes had Minnie when she was only eighteen years old. Yes, Babes loves Minnie with her whole heart but she had to become a mother at the age of eighteen. At that age, I had finished high school and was going to start my first year at university. I can't even imagine being married, let alone become pregnant. The amount of responsibilities that were thrown onto her shoulders are immense and not having a husband by her side to help her through them all - she would have been awfully lonely. And she stayed lonely for seventeen years. I don't know how it is in India, but I doubt expressing sexual desires even if it is for your own husband is accepted. Even in last week's episode, Madhu had to explain she bribes her husband with sex in a roundabout way, and that conversation was being held in a friendly atmosphere between women only. I doubt Babita has this conversation with herself let alone with other women.

After seventeen years, she's getting those desires awakened again. Something is stirring inside of her and it's not out of any compulsion or expectation. It's agonizingly slow, but it's filled with personal choice. Boundaries are tested, steps are withdrawn when they're taken too far and there's a gentleness underlying everything. She's being given the opportunity to decide for herself what she's feeling and how it is that she wishes to act upon them. She has already taken several steps to becoming emotionally intimate with HS and has accepted his feelings in return. It's the physical intimacy that's a bit more complicated since it's concrete. It's tangible and can be felt with all of one's senses. She can touch him, smell him, hear him, see him, and taste him. And he, her. Their connection won't be abstract like the exchange of ideas and words and this time around they can't deny nor misunderstand what transpires between them.

I applaud the CVs for addressing this part of Babita's life. It's not just the emotional drought but also the physical comfort and intimacy that she never received as a spouse that has left her feeling empty. Ashok was not her lover or her aashiq, only a formal husband.

With HS there is no obligation of a marital bond so she gets to experience physical attraction in its natural form, because he wants her, the woman.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I applaud the CVs for addressing this part of Babita's life. It's not just the emotional drought but also the physical comfort and intimacy that she never received as a spouse that has left her feeling empty. Ashok was not her lover or her aashiq, only a formal husband.

With HS there is no obligation of a marital bond so she gets to experience physical attraction in its natural form, because he wants her, the woman.

@bold - YES! This reminds me of a dialogue that was uttered by Dev to Sonakshi in Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Aise Bhi. When he said, "I love you", Sonakshi asked, wanting to clarify if he meant as a friend but with fierce conviction he asserted, "I love you like a man loves a woman". Till date, it is the most passionate confession I have scene on ITV and I'm seeing glimpses of that same love in Hanita. The only difference is that their love has been a major slow burn and their actions speak a lot louder than their words.

Thanks to the makers for showing that its not only young lovers but older lovers too can have and display passion and there is nothing wrong about it. In our society talking about love and sex is considered a taboo but people are ok with abuse and rape. The scene was shot so beautifully. Nothing was over the top and out of place and also superbly enacted by pari and anirudh. Yesterday the background music in the entire episode was too beautiful. In our society a single woman with a teenaged child is expected to live a life of monk forever and if she is gutsy enough to break this barrier then she is looked down upon her whole life.

Originally posted by: divyadaya13

Thanks to the makers for showing that its not only young lovers but older lovers too can have and display passion and there is nothing wrong about it. In our society talking about love and sex is considered a taboo but people are ok with abuse and rape. The scene was shot so beautifully. Nothing was over the top and out of place and also superbly enacted by pari and anirudh. Yesterday the background music in the entire episode was too beautiful. In our society a single woman with a teenaged child is expected to live a life of monk forever and if she is gutsy enough to break this barrier then she is looked down upon her whole life.

I donot think that people are ok with rape.

So so thoughtfully written and with so much care! Can't agree more, cause all the heaves and sighs yesterday revealed it all.

I was longing for someone to show this sensitively on TV, the desires of women. And finally it's here and how!

Originally posted by: joypallavi

I donot think that people are ok with rape.

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

So so thoughtfully written and with so much care! Can't agree more, cause all the heaves and sighs yesterday revealed it all.

I was longing for someone to show this sensitively on TV, the desires of women. And finally it's here and how!

Originally posted by: divyadaya13

beautifully enacted by pari.

Absolutely!

She's very talented. And such talent and skill is rare in today's world. She's naturally beautiful and a superb, gorgeous actor 😳

She's so cute too!😆