Chapter 37:
Bairam Khan stormed inside Jalal’s restroom, the shadow of worry covering his face. Maksud Khan, Mahmud Khan and some of his other followers were accompanying him. Jalal was sitting on his bed talking to one general, the royal physician was applying ointment on his injuries. Adham Khan and some of his soldiers were standing beside the bed listening to the emperor, and Maham Anga was standing just at side of the physician, her eyes being cold like a hurt tigress. Her icy eyes whipped through the path of Bairam Khan silently.
“Are you hurt my son? How the hell it can happen?” A concerned Bairam Khan shouted out. “The emperor of the Mughal dynasty is being attacked right inside the palace? What were the guards doing? What were the security officers doing?”
“It seems the brain behind the attack happens to be smarter than the security people.” Jalal looked coldly at Bairam Khan and said. “Don’t worry. The attack could be fatal, but I am alright.”
“Thank God for that…” Bairam Khan calmed down a bit after seeing that Jalal’s injuries are minor. “But this type of callousness should not be overlooked. All the security officers should be punished and…”
“Before that another important work is yet to done, Khan-E-Khana…” Maham Anga uttered in an almost whispering voice.
Bairam Khan shot a furious glance at her. “I am talking to the emperor and I don’t like to be interrupted by some random person, Maham Anga…”
“Pardon me, Khan-E-Khana… as per your role in the empire goes now, I presume you also fall under the list of the random persons spending lives under the shelter of this great empire…” Maham smirked slightly. Bairam Khan burnt in humiliation and shouted. “Maham Anga if you try to insult me again…”
“She is right. There is another important work done and I wanted to meet you for that only.”
Both Maham Anga and Bairam Khan looked at Jalal in disbelief. Jalal got up.
“Before thinking of the suspension of the duty officials, catching the mastermind behind the plan is essential. I need to talk with Khan-E-Khana.” The tone of Jalal’s voice carried enough gravity to command the rest of the people of the room. Everyone bowed down and left. Everyone except Maham Anga, who was looking at him with a slight frown.
“Badi Ammi if you excuse us…”
Maham looked at him in shock. “Jalal I am…”
“I have to discuss something confidential with Khan-E-Khana. If you please excuse us…”
Maham Anga cast a fiery glare to Bairam Khan and left the room.
“Jalal…” Bairam Khan came closer and looked with concern. “I cannot believe this type of incident can happen in a Mughal fort, that too on my personal presence here. Currently I might not be handling any security responsibility, but still I am present here in Agra and under my nose this…”
“What do you know about the attack, Khan-E-Khana?”
Bairam Khan flinched a little. Not only because of the way Jalal addressed him, but also for the scary chillness of his tone and his voice.
“What do you mean, Jalal?”
“The mastermind of the attack is someone very close to the system. Someone who knows each and every corner of Mughal security service. Someone who is a step ahead of the system.” Jalal said in the same emotionless tone. Bairam Khan suddenly felt his heart shuttered into pieces.
“You want to recon… you are trying to implement that…” He could not complete the sentence.
“I am not trying to implement anything, I just want to know from you. I want to know what you are hiding from me? I want to know about the backstabbers of the empire whom you are backing?” Jalal hissed in his most cruel and desperate tone. “I had thought I would deal with it tactfully. That I know the truth and do the needful without hurting anyone’s self-respect. But after this incident I have realised I was trying to convince myself like a fool child. So no more hide-and-seek games, let’s talk face to face and clear it out!” He sat down on the couch in his usual kingly attitude. “What do you know about this assassination attempt?”
Bairam Khan kept on staring at Jalal, his eyes was still not free from the shock and disbelief.
“Tell me!” Jalal suddenly shouted. The usual composure and majestic calmness of his voice was gone, a restless plea of desperation was fuming instead. His eyes were red, his lips were shivering. As if he has stopped himself from falling apart after a long trial.
“I refuse to accept the blame you are putting on me, Majesty.” Bairam Khan uttered in an almost muted voice.
“Well, then tell me what is the truth!” Jalal breathed heavily.
“I serve for my nation. I have given my whole life to my Mughal dynasty. This empire is the reason I live, the empire will be the reason I will die.” Bairam Khan uttered in a calm voice. “That is the truth. And this is the truth I would never let anyone to deny, be it the emperor himself!”
“That’s why you have suddenly increased your connections with some particular groups of people who are lately not very fond of their empire?” Jalal told sarcastically.
“First of all, whom do I keep connection with and with whom I not, is not the concern of the empire. Maybe the emperor has given me enough remuneration for my service life in this empire, but he did not buy me so that he can have the right to control my personal decision of who make friend and who will be my foe.” Bairam Khan lashed out all the poison he had inside his heart. “Secondly, there are sheer differences between not being fond of empire and not supporting the emperor blindly. Rather sometimes, not supporting the emperor can become the biggest proof of devotion for the empire.”
Jalal could not help but to smirk. “You realise you just said something which is considered as a rebellious sentence?”
“It’s inevitable. The emperor might be the highest flag of the empire, but the other officers are the pillar of it. If the emperor becomes the enemy of his own kingdom, it’s the duty of others to stop the flag from falling.” Bairam Khan told in a calm voice. “It is the reality, Your Majesty, I might be sounding like an insurgent, but the truth is, the rebellions are the fruit of the doing of an emperor himself!”
“So does that mean you are trying to justify the attack on me?” Jalal raised a brow. “An assassination of the emperor is an essential part of a rebellion.”
“Don’t try to play with words with me, My Lord!” Bairam Khan laughed sarcastically. “And most importantly, don’t mix my virtues with my loyalty to my emperor Shah Humayun that I proudly preserve within me! I had promised him that I would save his son with everything I have, and I will… no matter if he turns out to be a threat to himself in future, becomes a stigma on his dynasty’s name, shaming his great father and ancestors’ name by beginning an era of anarchism.”
“DON”T YOU DARE!!!”Jalal roared like a wounded lion. It seemed the airflow inside the room was blocked for a moment. “I am trying to reign over my emperor on the best ways I know my father would have approved, I know my father would have dreamed for me. I am the son of Lord Humayun. I am the son of Marium Makani Hamida Banu Begam! I am the emperor of the throne. If I become an enemy to the empire, let my subjects be the one to pull me down from the throne. Who are the others to judge whether I am worthy to the throne or not?” Jalal came closer to Bairam Khan and uttered in a grave voice. “Why I would let someone’s ego to come in between my father’s dreams and my duties towards my empire? Why I would let some self-righteous mindless people to control my thoughts by blocking my own sense of logic? Why would I let someone decide whether I am eligible or not who himself is so blind in his urge of power that he has forgotten what is right and what is wrong??”
“If you’re raising finger on me, Your Majesty… Let me tell you I never had any urge of any power…”
“Of course you have, Khan-E-Khana!!” Jalal whipped on Bairam Khan’s unfinished sentence. “Not only the urge of having power… you earnestly nurture the urge of showing your power, your supremacy in front of every single person of the surroundings to feed your complex ego. You need to prove every moment that you are the most powerful, there is no one who has the capacity to stand in front of you! Right from my childhood till today you have fulfilled that pervert need of yours under the banner of your loyalty towards the empire, your sincerity towards me. Now when you can see your supremacy is being judged, your ego is driving you crazy… you cannot think straight anymore, you cannot see the real colour anymore. All of it is because your urge of showcasing your superiority over the weak and innocents… and you want to root that seed inside me as well, you want to create an empire of fear and arrogance where you will keep on showing your power over the weak making me a mere instrument of your hand. Why do you think I will allow you to do that?”
“You have had enough Jalal! STOP INSULTING ME!” Bairam Khan almost screamed out.
“I never ever talked loud in front of you…because I respect you. Because I never even think of insulting you. Because you are my teacher, the closest one I had to my father!” Jalal panted in excitement. “But you know what, Khan-E-Khana… No matter what I think about yourself; I am nothing more than an instrument to you…nothing more than a medium of fulfilling your extreme ambitions. Perhaps you yourself even don’t know… you yourself mistake it as love and affection- but all your so-called love for me, your so-called duty of protecting me- all of them are only a small part of your big fat ego! Nothing else!!”
“Jalal you! You stop at once!!” Bairam Khan uttered in a hurt, grief-stricken voice. The shock had suddenly made him numb to anger. “If you want, you hang me publicly. You cut out my throat. You banish me from your empire. But never ever do that… Never ever try to distort my feelings for y…” His voice suddenly chocked. “Please! I beg you!”
“Well!” Jalal took a deep breath to balance himself. His voice was trembling. “Then tell me… how could you keep on being quiet after knowing someone is trying to kill me? How could you?”
“For God’s Sake Jalal!” Bairam Khan uttered in a tired, broken voice… “I would rather die before that! Do you seriously believe…”
“No!” Jalal shook his head desperately. “I would never believe. I still don’t! But today my beliefs are crashing with reality. So I demand answer! I have endured a lot… I cannot anymore! Tell me what do you discuss behind the curtains of your chamber. Tell me what is the real reason of you becoming so desperate that you had to kill my agent publicly.” He shouted out excitedly. “Tell me how the plan of this attack on my life is found from your chamber??”
“What?” Bairam Khan stared at his face in shock. Jalal tried hard to control his excitement and paced towards the corner of his room where the oak-chest for his personal belonging is kept. He pulled out a parchment and almost threw that on Bairam Khan.
“What is it, Khan Sahib? Do you remember anything?” He hissed.
“Well… I am seeing this for the first time.” Bairam Khan looked at the parchment.
“Really? Because this was found from your reading room.” Jalal said in a chilling voice. “See clearly… it suggests the exact plan that was used to corner and attack me tonight. And this was found weeks before. What do you want to say about it?”
Bairam Khan looked at Jalal’s eyes. All the previous vulnerabilities he just shown had disappeared constantly. His eyes were very familiar now… the eyes of the very stubborn, very cruel, very firm commanding general of Mughal army.
“Who gave this to you?” He murmured.
“Does not matter… Tell me what do you know.” Jalal said in a firm tone.
“Jalaluddin Muhammad… What have you done to me that even my closest people are betraying me by acting as a spy of yours! Will you snatch everything from me? My pride, my honour, my respect… and now my privacy as well?” Bairam Khan uttered in a icy-cold voice. “What do you think of yourself, Jalaluddin?”
“Don’t stretch it… Just tell me what is going on…” Jalal said in the same cold voice.
“I won’t.” Bairam Khan threw a very stubborn sick smirk on Jalal. “Let me see what you do to know the truth from me. Come on, start torturing me like a mere criminal. You tested my patience. Now you are welcome to test my pain-endurance as well!”
“Khan-E-Khana you are…” Jalal took a long breath.
“Who gave you this? Salima? Because she has a regular access to my study!” Bairam Khan smiled. “My wife is working as a spy of yours? Or is she working from your side so that you can easily blame me and insult me more to demolish the little pride I had! Just like you did right now! You get a great satisfaction from it right? By proving me inferior to you every time??”
“Why are you talking so much crap!” Jalal shouted impatiently. “All I want is the truth from you. You don’t know anything about the plan, I believe it! But I am sure you know something which you are not telling me… Rather you know a lot, your ego blocking you to confess that. Tell me everything. I swear, if there is a conspiracy, if this paper is any part of a plot to defame you, we will deal with it together and get the criminal arrested. Why are you so adamant that you hurt everyone whom you love, including yourself, knowingly?” He suddenly broke, covered his face with his palms. “Please… Khan-Baba! Tell me what you know. Tell me what are you doing, how far you have gone and what is cooking under the cover of darkness!”
It seemed Bairam Khan flinched a little as his disciple unknowingly uttered the old name for him while talking in desperation. Then he cast a sad smile. “What do you want from me? You want me to confess whether I am standing against you in any rebellion or not? Answer is, yes I am. I am not a servant of you, Jalaluddin Mohammad. I had been always the servant of great emperor Shah Humayun. I have given my whole like to the throne of Mughal dynasty. Till the last breath of my life, I will serve for it. If a imprudent young lad thinks he has the authority to disrespect the legacy of Mughal throne and to bring anarchy in the empire, I will stand like a shield between him and the throne. You want the truth? That’s the truth! Now if you want to squeeze any information from me, you have to try…” He smirked. “You have to arrest me first. And dare you do that inside this fort, Shahenshah-E-Hind… Dare you do that!”
“Khan Baba…” Jalal blindly thrashed himself on the nearby couch in devastation. His face had the sign of the horrific nightmare. As if his worst fear is standing in front of him. “After proudly announcing yourself being my protector your whole life, you are just…” He uttered in a very low tone.
“Yes I deny whatever I have said these days, Shahenshah!” Bairam Khan uttered while trembling. “The way you just denied all my sincerity and loyalty by labelling those as urge for power, the way you did not think twice before defaming me with the offence of trying to kill the emperor; I also deny all my liabilities I think I had towards you. Because I was wrong… it was never about you. It was about the throne, about my emperor Shah Humayun…”
“Alright!” Jalal shook his head in agony. “Then on the name of the great emperor Shah Humayun, for once in your life shut down your ego and listen to your conscience. Don’t play with yourself, Khan Baba!” His voice suddenly drowned in plea. “Don’t let any other thoughts to cloud your judgement! You know what my father would have wanted for me! You knew my father the best! You know no matter what happens between us, he would always count on you when it comes to protect me!” He swallowed and looked at Bairam Khan’s eyes, who was staring at him with a blazing rage formed by a deep wound. “I have told a lot what I should not have. I vented all my frustration on you and insulted you and I am asking forgiveness for it from you! But all is between you and me, we can figure things out! Just stop wandering in the dark maze blinded by ego and stop hurting yourself! You are doing wrong and you know it… But we can make it right! Together we can…”
“Hahahahaha!”
If Bairam Khan had slapped him rather than cutting his emotional words with this nasty laughter, Jalal would fell less insulted.
“Oh! Yeah Allah!” Bairam Khan spread venom in his laughter. “You have become such a great politician Jalal! You know where and when you have to use exactly which phase to turn the game towards you! The moment you found yourself in a tough position, so coolly you get defensive! Hah! But I wonder from where did you get this melodramatic demeanour of pleading and begging like a weeping woman! I definitely taught you better!” He said elatedly. “Oh now I know. It’s from that illiterate wet-nurse of yours… that white witch has screwed with your brain and put all these things against me… What an idiot I am! That wh**e has…”
“Enough!!” Jalal blurted out pressing his temple. He squeezed his eyes tightly and sigh most heart-breaking sigh. “Just stop and don’t naked yourself anymore please!” He uttered in an agonized voice. “Just leave… Just leave and do whatever you want!”
Bairam Khan stood silently for a moment, perhaps to calm his agitated nerves down. For a moment the blind rage into his eyes turned into deep sympathy for his disciple who was sitting on the couch all broken… but for a fraction of moment only. Again the anger, the desperation and the crushing pain inside chest came back… again the stubborn Bairam Khan came back. Slowly he went towards the door… And he knew for this time, this is the last chance of coming back to his old position that he had, and that he is leaving behind. Once he crosses the door, all doors of lights will be closed for him forever... And he knows he will not be happy. He can never be happy.
But he will rather embrace the doom of darkness than being proved wrong from the young boy whom he had trained how to ride a horse one day!
He was just about to cross the door, he heard the voice of the emperor from behind. “Once you cross this door, you never come back… I won’t see you in this fort of Agra anymore!”
“As you wish, your majesty…” Bairam Khan announced proudly before going out of the sight…
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Their lips touched… Sparks flew in every direction like a sparkle of light, warmth radiated in an utopic rhythm, and the world surrounding them disappeared… In the broken hut, in the nest of the dreams, they accepted each-other, the moon, the stars, the night sky, the whole nature being the witness…
“ I am all yours. I was yours in my previous birth, I will be yours in my future lives; I have surrendered everything to you and purified myself in the essence of love! Nothing can take me away from you anymore…”… she had uttered while his tender hands brushed through her cheeks, her lips, her eyes… feeling every curve of her feature and sculpting her in the deep of his memory…
And it was supposed to be his story… the unfinished story of his life which he wanted to complete… the story of his lost dreams, which he had cultivated after stealing some moments from his venomous, filthy like… It was not supposed to end this way…
But it did! Lost dreams can never be real, they are like the dew-drops of the dawn, delights the earth by shining like diamond while the first ray of sun falls on it… but as the day begins, as the harsh ray of sun encounters with the hard rock of the earth, the morning dews disappears… never comes back to sooth the hard soil of this harsh earth… She was also like that morning dew; the hard rock that has coated his heart, the harsh rays of reality, of betrayal and pain has hardened his core… the morning dew drop cannot enter in that core, it will evaporate, will lose forever…
She was not supposed to be his… She was not meant for this filthy life where the very own people does not hesitate to backstab; the father uses his son to hold his power; where the disciple has to banish his mentor after crashing his pride to save own respect; where is no sign of love and compassion, no place for faith and truthfulness… here only the power speaks, the clash of ego shines, and the hatred and betrayal wins over humanity. This is the life of Jalaluddin Mohammad. Where will Purnima, the girl as pure as the full-moon night, fit in it? She perhaps knew it! Perhaps she had sensed the odour of his nasty life from under the fragrance of the perfect cover of Chandrajit, whom he created to hid his identity, but ended up finding his own true self in him! She sensed his lie, and so she denied even to recognize him! Yes… she told in his face that Purnima is not real, the dream of his lost love-story is actually not real… this is real! This pain of rejection is real, this agony of being wounded from the closest person of life is real, the scar of betrayal is real! This is the life of an emperor, right! And an emperor cannot walk in dream… He has to walk through fire! No matter the fire burn him, tear him up, grab his soul… He will burn, and he will burn alone! ‘
“Ahh!”
Jalal winced. His arm was literally throbbing alongside his head! He got up from the bed, clasped his hairs with both of his hands and whimpered slowly, making sure no one sees him in this vulnerable position. Slowly he cupped his face and covered his eyes. He was exhausted to the end but sleep had denied to come to his eyes this night. Rather, when for the last time he had a proper, restful sleep?
Perhaps when he was staying at that broken hut of Amer, the house of his dreams… when the lady of his dreams used to come in the mid-night just when the clear moon of the sky had started to unfold a silver carpet throughout the path to welcome her in; and despite all the loneliness, fatigue, tension, hunger of the whole long day, how easily he used to float in the dream with her, with her smiles… And after she used to leave, he easily drifted into a long restful sleep, the dream of the nights soothing him in his sleep…
Chandrajeet was so much lucky! He had nothing except a broken hut which was not his own, he had nothing to eat or drink if a kind lady did not help him; he had nothing to wear, nothing to have comfort; he had nothing to fight with in a place full of enemies… yet he used to have complete sleeps with good dreams!
And now… the emperor of the emperor; the sun of Mughal dynasty, the riches man of the whole land, the man having thousands of army ready to give their lives for him; thousands of manpower to change the world just like what he orders, the emperor who rules the world with the twitch of finger, cannot even sleep at night. Because every moment he closes his eyes, he can sense the most trustworthy people, whom he loves the most, are breathing the air of conspiracy right beside his neck… What a great fortune an emperor is born with!
“Jalal?”
Jalal turned back as the unexpected voice reached his ear. The tall, majestic lady was standing in the dark.
“Ammijaan? At this hour of the night?” Jalal uttered while getting up from bed.
“Don’t get up.” Hamida entered and sat beside him. Her eyes were filled with concern. “What happened, son?”
“What?” Jalal tried to smile… “Nothing… Why are you not sleeping, Ammijaan?”
“I won’t be able to sleep as long as I sense the cloud of danger swallowing the Mughal dynasty once again, Jalal.” Hamida shook his head. “The incident of today has shook me from root.”
“Yes. It should be!” jalal nodded and smiled. “It was bound to happen, Ammijaan. Rather I think you should not have hold him back when he wanted to leave at the first place.”
“Bairam Khan tried to kill you! Is it even…” Hamida sighed deeply. “Jalal, are you sure…”
“Does not matter, Ammijaan.” Jalal said rigidly. “He himself confessed in front of me that he wants to pull me down from the throne. If I want to be a king I have to listen to his orders or he will not let me to a king. That’s what he was meant to say.”
Hamida Banu could not say anything more. She just sighed before she touched Jalal’s head tenderly.
“My dear, its…”
“I told you, Ammijaan!” Jalal did not even try to hide his broken voice. “I told you he has gone blind in power. He is no more the loyal he used to be… Or maybe his definition of loyalty does not fit with my thought anymore. You cannot bind a man behind when there is no bond left. Sometimes letting go is the best option!”
“It is true for a common human, Jalal. An emperor has to learn the skill of binding the useful people back for his own benefit. An emperor reigns a kingdom with his wit, but the associates, the officers, the commanders are his weapons. It is the duty of an emperor to control those.”
“What to do when the weapon demands to be the controller of the emperor?” Jalal looked at his mother. “Tell me, Ammijaan… what does an emperor do with the uncontrollable forces?”
“He just wipes them out of the path.” Hamida said without a flinch, but eventually squeezed Jalal’s shoulder affectionately. “Jalal, you did what you should have done. May be I am too much emotional to think Bairam Khan is the one who could have shielded the empire the best!”
“You cannot use the shield when the enemies are using that to make you weak. The first rule of 0f the war is, you cannot let your weakness to be the weapon of your enemies.” Jalal uttered. “I have let the shield go, left the empire unguarded. Now let my enemies imagine me as the weakest and attack me from front, it will be a face-off battle then. No more hide-and-seek, no more backstabbing games, no more hiding behind the curtain. All will be as clear as daylight!”
“Jalal…” Hamida Begam touched his chin and pulled his face to her. The desperate rage mingled with deepest agony is reflecting from his eyes. Jalal did not protest, did not move his head. He just sighed deeply holding her hand.
“I know how you are feeling, son…I know how you felt about your Khan Baba, how we all…” Hamida tried to talk Jalal out, but he smiled.
“You don’t, Ammijaan! No one can. You have to go through your pains alone. When the childhood belief, which is one of the basic pillars of your life crushed in front of eyes this way, and you have nothing to do, no one can actually equate that pain! And actually, I have more important things to do other than mourning about these betrayals and all!” He said in such a tone as if he is talking to himself, not to his mother.
Hamida sighed, then tried to smile a bit. “Come on son, sleep. Lie down.”
“No… I must…”Jalal was cut by his mother as she forcefully took him into a warm embrace.
“What was the last time you slept, Jalal?” She uttered while supressing tears. Jalal did not try to break the embrace, but leaned into it, submitting himself to his mother and clenching to her. “Don’t know, Ammi!” He murmured, his voice trembling in emotion. “But I need one… I am tired, mother! I am so so so tired! I need a long peaceful night, without any worry. Ammijaan!” He picked up his head and held her hands… “Why don’t I deserve peace? Why don’t I deserve happiness?”
“Who says!” Hamida cupped his face. “You do deserve every happiness of this world Jalal… You deserve the whole world! It’s just a bad time that’s all and everyone has to go through…”
“I don’t want the whole world Ammijaan!” Jalal suddenly let his guard down completely. “Hell, I don’t want the whole world, the throne, the crown, the wealth! I want nothing! I just want a bit peace. A normal life with some normal people, a small home which is full of smiles and not full of conspiracies… I want to be normal! I don’t want to be the extraordinarily powerful one of this whole world! I need freedom, Ammijaan! I am sick of this life! I am sick of it!” He downed his head on his mother’s lap and hid his face inside her like a little child, tear streaming down of his cheek, he having no control over it. “Why did you bring me in this world, Ammijaan! Why you brought me in this world of curse?”
“Because if you would live like a common man, this empire would lose one of the best server she would ever have, my son!” Hamida affectionately caressed his hairs. “You do deserve the whole world, Jalal. But probably the world needs you more than that! The world needs you more than anything! Your own life is too small in front of that! It’s our sacrifices that make us great, son!”
Jalal inhaled deeply and sniffled to control his outburst, embraced his mother more tightly and closed his eyes while his whole body shook. “It will be alright, Jalal! Everything is okay now…” Hamida shed two drops of tears while murmuring comfort to her broken son, trying to sooth him desperately. Perhaps it was the first time in her whole life she got a chance to comfort her broken, vulnerable, crying son this way. The princes like Jalal are taught to shut their emotions inside the rigid personality before they learn how to talk. Jalal is expert to hide himself behind the wall of rigidity… And today the wall broke this way. Her adult son, who has grown a personality to reign the great empire effortlessly, is not able to hide the emotions behind the wall… he is weeping, sobbing, whining like a little boy on the lap of his mother… how much agony does it take to break a man like Jalal so severely!
But maybe this was needed. This stream of tears are needed to melt the rock inside his chest which is strangling him. Hamida held him tighter and rocked him gently like a little child. An hour passed, Jalal’s breathing got even and it seemed he has drifted in a restful sleep by now!
Hamida bent her hand and kissed on her sleeping boy’s forehead before placing his head carefully on the pillow and pulling cover on his body. She let tears streaming down as she looked at his restful, innocent, sleeping face. Suddenly her heart filled with resentment for her late husband.
“Why you left so early, My Lord! Why you left with all the burdens thrashed on my son’s shoulders?” She murmured in angry tears. “He is a kid! He was not supposed to entangle himself in these dirty games of politics in this tender age! It was his time to enjoy his life; to train himself to be a better man under his father’s guidance, the time of sharpen his skills, the time to explore the world, the time to dream; the time of finding his true love for his own! He was not supposed to drown in this sea of loneliness and self-loathing at this young age! He was not supposed to lose his own soul under the burden of being an emperor at this age of 18! Why you took the shade from his head at the time he was supposed to play with his friends? Why you did it?” She broke down in wrenching sobs… “You left us in this hell, found peace in heaven! Ever thought what is here for me and for your son? Why my son will live this life he does not deserve? Why my son would have to wear a façade of emotionless emperor in the day and have to cry himself to sleep every night? It is just the beginning of his life, My Lord! To whom he will go when he will be so restless for the rest of his life! Who will be his support? Who will be there beside him in this long, lonely, dirty life of emperorship?”
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The colour of gangaur festival has already glowed in the soil of Rajputana. The sky is singing the song of happiness, the tune of happiness is flowing the breeze; pure smile of happiness has coloured the face of every common Rajput people. This is the time when they forget every conflict, every enmity and every pain, just flows with the stream of euphoria.
Except one place. A small, almost negligible fort in the map of Rajputana, who has the capability of dream big, has not coloured herself with the colour of glee… As she has been coloured with red, the colour of war, the colour of vehemence.
The vast army is ready to march at any time. Half of the army is going to attack Bhangarh, while the other part will march towards Amer and cover the fort from a distance. King Sagarmal, the owner of the fort Sonargarh walked towards the pedestal and addressed his army.
“O my valiant brothers of Rajputana, let’s take an oath of our motherland, that till the last drop of our blood we will fight our best to unify the pieces of her soil, eliminate those who has established the policy of divide and rule, and be united at the name of the motherland. We, the son of Rajputana, the devotees of Ekalingaswar, when stand together, we will hold the capacity of wipe out the existence of those barbaric Mughals from Delhi, will regain our old glory and rejuvenate our old pride.”
“Heil to the king! Jay Eklingaswar! Jay Bhawani!” The army shouted in unison with great patriotic enthusiasm.
The king completed the rituals of starting the war with the royal priest, the queen applied tilak on his forehead and handed him the sword. “Jay ho!” She chanted as the other Rajput women started their rituals. Their husbands were going to war with no guaranty of coming back, but still there was no worry in their eyes, only pride shining brightly from their smiles.
“You come back early!” Lilabati smiled shyly while applying tilak on Sujamal’s forehead. “He has started kicking hard. He will take no more time to come out!”
“I know he will… And he would be the best gift of my victory!” Sujamal smiled looking at his wife’s baby-bump. “I am going to this war for the rights of my child; so that he can be the king… He will be the king of the kings! And none will be able to take back this right from him, the way they did to me!” His voice had the clear sign of resentment.
“Don’t think all these. Remember, you should not shed blood of your own people.” Lilavati said. “You have promised me not to harm the members of your family. Believe me, if you do any mistake you will never be able to get over it!”
“I know.” Sujamal nodded holding her hand. “We will go by the plan. Only sieging the fort, compelling them to sit for a negotiation… I know them the best, I will do it properly.”
The king, Kunwar Sujamal and Jashwant Singh stood together and hugged each-other, “Jay Bhawani!” They murmured.
“Let’s recite the plan once more.” Jashwant Singh uttered. “Sujamal is heading towards Amer and will reach to the border of Amer, and I am heading towards Bhangarh, will take down it and negotiate with the king, will join Suja as soon as possible. The king is staying behind along with his own troop; calculating the moves of other states. As soon as we settle with Amer he will intervene and a proper meeting and further plans will be initiated before attacking other forts.”
“Right!” Sagarmal said. “You have anything to say, Sujamal?”
“No.” Sujamal said. “I just wished that I could get my own troop with me. I think it would be much comfortable for them.”
“But they know the secret doorways of Amer. If necessary, they will be able to use those tactics to attack Amer from Bhangarh. The other soldiers will not be able to attack Amer in a secret path, they should be used to siege the fort. And in a war the soldiers have to be flexible to any commander.” Jashwant said.
“Yes, you are right!” Sujamal said. “Why are we waiting for then?” He smiled.
“Jay Bhawani!” King Sagarmal chanted with all his enthusiasm before commanding the troop to march towards their destination.
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“May I come in, Khan-E-Khana?”
Bairam Khan looked up. Saiyaad Ahmed was standing near the door. He tiredly nodded.
“It seemed the overnight journey did not go well with you?” Ahmed said courteously.
“It’s okay. A journey from Agra to Delhi is not that hectic. I have had worse.” Bairam Khan did not even offered him drink before pouring a full wine in his own goblet again. Saiyaad Ahmed looked worriedly at him. The bloodshot eyes, the trembling hands and the sloppy movements are saying that Bairam Khan is not in a good position to drink anymore. He is probably drinking from the moment he reached Delhi after leaving Agra at half-an-hours’ notice.
“Are you okay, Khan-E-Khana?” Saiyaad Ahmed asked with concern.
“Yeah! Always okay! Never been better.” Bairam Khan told in a sluggish voice. “Tell me, what was the plan of dethroning the emperor…”
“We can discuss about it later…” The priest hesitated.
“No way! I need to discuss it right now! Right now!” Bairam Khan punched on the table in extreme rage. “I will show that boy his position! I will show him that he is nothing when this old man is not behind his back! What does he think? He can say anything to me? He can blame me with anything? He will take everything from me? I have made him the king, I will snatch that from him! I will decide the fate of Mughal dynasty!”
“Calm down, Khan Sahab! Calm down!” Saiyaad Ahmed asked in a terrified voice.
“Heh! Calm down! How I am supposed to calm down?” Bairam Khan shouted. “He just threw me out of his palace! He blamed me of the crime of attacking on the emperor and threw me out! He challenged my life-long devotion, my life-long sense of duty; he dared to insult me in a way which no one ever in this world would have dared to! What he has thought? Being the king gives him the right of insulting his mentor? The hangover of power has gone over Jalal’s head! I will teach him how to behave!”
“Yy…yah.. but…” Saiyaad Ahmed stammered. “Are you sure you seriously want to lead us? If we start there is no coming back!”
“I did not leave the palace to go back there! I will die but never go back! Haven’t I tell you that Jalal’s safety is my responsibility as long as I am in capital? The moment I am out, I have no reservation left to become an open rebel.” Bairam Khan said. “Maksud Khan?” He shouted. “Come with a map and a pen. I want him to show something about the fort which will be very important for the invasion. Jalal blamed me of making the plan of his assassination in the influence of that white wh**e! I will show him how vicious the plan of an attack can be if Bairam Khan actually draws the plan! I will show him!”
Maksud Khan nodded. A vicious smile reflected in his lips before he left the room.
Adham Khan will be at cloud nine when he will get this news. But they need to lay low for a few days. At least before the attack which will be led by the Khan Baba of the emperor himself!
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O mhari ghumar che nakrali i maan…
Ghumar ramawa mhen jasyaan
O rajri, ghumar ramawa mhen jasyaan…
The enigmatic melody from the core of the soil was floating in the roads of the festive Amer. In the time of Gangour Amer has forgotten all her miseries and again has adorned herself with new hope. Perhaps it is in the soil of this land, the people of Amer has never learnt to lose hopes. They know to live, they know to move on. That’s why they survives… no matter whatever the fate has written for them at present and in the future. The spirit of the heart of Amer is never broken!
While walking through the market of Amer, humming the song and looking at the debris of the fire that had happened at the day of Dasehra, Moti was thinking these. Perhaps that fire was only a precaution of the deity of fate before burning the fate of Amer, and leaving Jodha to burn in her own fire for the rest of her life! It was only a few months back, Jodha was so full of life that day… Full with energy, full with dreams, mischievous, immature, always full of adventures, a little teen girl full of youth… and then everything changed so drastically. The Jodha of today is merely a shadow of the Jodha of those days. She has grown up, grown up to be a despaired, depressed soul who have no hope left in her life anymore. The girl who was not ready to stay in her own room bound by rules and had to go for adventures at night, is now entitled to live the rest of her life as a house-arrested criminal, like a burden on her father, a shame for her mother, a liability to her brothers and a curse for her sisters’ fate! Is this a life? Moti’s heart wept suddenly. Why did not Jodha escape with her lover when she met him at Vrindavan? No matter however he is, Jodha would get a better life than this definitely! Then why? For the honour of her family? For the honour of her father? For this Amer who has not forgiven her for her one mistake, the mistake of loving a man? For the dignity of her status of princess which is actually killing her everyday in isolation? Why? Why duty and social boundaries becomes so important than love for her? Those sense of duties, the boundaries, all are implied by society. Love is unbounded, love is natural, love is pure… why did not Jodha choose love when she was given chance for the second time? Moti’s heart ached in pain.
“Moti Baisa?” Suddenly a little voice came from a store. Moti looked up; a young girl of almost her age was smiling at her. “Remember me?”
“You look… familiar…” Moti tried to remember. “Did we meet in the rescue camp after the fire in Dashera?”
“Yes! I am Kamla.” The girl smiled. “I never thought we will meet again! What are you doing alone in market?”
“Some shopping for my own in this festival.” Moti smiled. “How are you all? It seems you have settled down a bit?”
“We are trying…” Kamla smiled sadly. “Last time almost everything we had were turned into ashes. All the accessories of our shop was burnt. Our house was burnt. We still live in those temporary camps… but selling the little ornaments we had, we again opened this small shop for the fair in gangour… maybe slowly we will settle down and start again.” She looked lost. “We would always be grateful to our princess… If she did not stand beside us in that tough time and gave us the ray of life again, we would die in hunger! And me, my family awe you as well… for being with us physically, taking a share of our pain and tending us, giving us food and water those days… If you people were not there then…” She teared up.
“Don’t mention it…” Moti smiled. “That’s why we are humans… we do stand by others when they need it! Anyone would do the same. And our princess is a golden heart. There is no one as kind, as generous as her! Her training and instructions gave us the opportunity to do something for all who needed it.”
“Right!” Kamla wiped the tears from her eyes. “I feel so bad when the older people, the so-called heads of the society talks bad about her, judges her character and blames her for the reason of Amer’s bad fate. I am a poor woman, I don’t know so much about sins as they do. But what I know is no one in this damn state has done half of the things she has done for the poor men like us! She had always been the Lakshmi of Amer. And probably because of this unfair humiliation of her has initiated the downfall of Amer!”
“I feel the same!” Moti murmured. “But who will listen to us!” She sighed.
“However…” Kamla cheered up again, this time like a proficient businesswoman. “I have got a good collection of chunri. Why don’t you try?”
“Yeah… why not…” Moti said. Kamla started showing her some colourful chunris. Moti’s eyes stuck at one and her eyes watered. Vijay gifted her one same chunri last time, and she has not worn it till now! She had planned to wear it at Jodha’s wedding, and to surprise Vijay, who would not be able to remove his stare from her! Jodha is never getting married now; Vijay has probably gone forever, and the chunri is still left alone in her trunk. Why the fate is so cruel!!
For whom Moti will dress today? What is the use, if the man you love is lost forever?
“By the way, Moti Baisa?” Kamla’s voice took her down to reality. “How is Purnima Baisa?”
“Aaa….Yeahh… she is good! Fine!” Moti stammered to answer. Jodha used to come to those camps alongside with Moti in her disguise, she had befriended all of the dwellers of the camp. It was an expected question.
“She was such a lovely woman. I really miss her cheerful smiles, her energy and her kindness to everyone!” Kamla said dearly.
Me too! Moti thought with a sigh.
“I never saw her in this market place… Is she here in Amer?” Kamla asked.
“Yeah… She does not come to market much, you know… I…I like this red one… how much is this?”
Moti hurriedly took the chunri, paid it and paced out. She was not ready to be interrogated about Purnima Bai now. She was just about to turn back, she felt someone standing behind her.
“You want bangles, Baisa?” A middle-aged man was standing with a bunch of bangles.
“No thanks…” She said and was about to go, the man insisted.
“See, this red one will go very good with your new chunri. And this one? I swear this will only go with the princess herself, but you might give it a try…”
Moti looked at those bangles. Simple looking, but gorgeous. Maybe it will cheer Jodha up a bit?
“Pack me those, I will make sure the princess wear these.” Moti said smilingly, remembering how many time she had bought things like these for Jodha before and how many poor hawkers of street had got chances to change their fates as the princess was kind enough to call them in palace and buy things from them only so that they can earn better. So many poor people have blessed Jodha throughout her life… those blessings had no meaning at all?
“Thank you, Baisa… Thank you!” The man looked elated. “You only give me the price of these, Baisa. This set is my offering to the princess. The way she helped us in all adversities… like the fire in Dasera!”
“Yeah…” Moti smiled. But then suddenly she felt something odd. “You were in those releif camps? I don’t recognise you?”
“You don’t? Maybe…” The man looked sad. “There were so many people and so many camps. But…Purnima Bai must remember me… I had a big wound on my feet and she tended me and she had magic in her hands…”
“Really?” Moti raised a brow. Well, maybe… there were hundreds of men, and Moti did not meet all of them. Jodha almost did. She loved interacting with them, to give their lost faith back.
“Purnima is great.” She said automatically.
“I so wanted to meet her afterwards. She used to tell me that she is like my daughter whom I lost!” The man teared up and sniffled. “Baisa, do you know where she lives? I want to meet her… and I know she will remember me, and will happy to see me… Please, baisa?”
“Aa… Look I have a little hurry today…” Moti cursed herself in mind. Again interrogation about Purnima?
“Yes of course…”The man hurried his packing. “Just tell me where does she live? I will find her on my own…”
“Look, I am not someone who will give the address of a girl at any stranger. I am sorry to be rude, but I cannot help it!” Moti had no path left in front of her instead of being unnecessarily rude. She just took the package, gave the price and walked off without looking back.
The man kept on looking at her path. A slight smirk reflected at the corner of his lips. Naturally, it is the first time in Amer he actually got a clue that Purnima Bai actually existed. He has gone through all the records, all the prisons in every possible disguise, turned every single stone to find Purnima, but he got no clue except witnesses of some people who was tended by her in a relief camp. But none of them knows where she lives, or if she has a family here…
Except today, one of the closest friends of the princess actually admitted she knows Purnima Bai enough to know her address. But why she became so frightened suddenly and tried to be rude to wave the matter aside? It is not a normal behaviour. What is cooking?
Who the hell this mysterious Purnima Bai is? And why the hell the emperor of Mughal dynasty suddenly became so desperate to find her that he sent one of the best spies of the system in a negligible fort just to get information about this nameless, faceless girl?
Whatever it is, this day is sure a win. The man hurried to his own hut. He has to write to the emperor and send that to Agra as soon as possible.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moti hurried through the road and came to the rear side of the market which was vacant, sighed of relief after that. Jodha was already in so many problems, and now if the secret of Purnima gets out god knows what will happen. At no cost she is going to leak anything. She took a long breath and was just about look at the bangles why bought, someone gagged her from behind. And before she could protest, two strong arms had forcefully pulled her, she was almost in an embrace of a man!
Panic stroke her hard, and she was about to shout; but suddenly she got petrified, when she could see the face of her abductor.
Vijay, the love of her life, is standing in front of her… His eyes full of love and passion mingled with the pain of waiting…
For a second Moti was stunned, then she could not control herself! “Vijay!!” She exclaimed before she surrender herself completely in his muscular chest.
“Where had you gone!” Moti asked tearfully after Vijay broke the hug and cupped her face, touching her forehead with his own. “Do you have any idea how I was living?”
“I know… I know! Moti… You have no idea how much I missed you…” Vijay said in a chocked voice before pulling her again. “I never wanted to leave you behind Moti… I swear I never wanted to…”
“What are you telling?” Moti said in a weeping voice. “You came back, right! You will not go!”
“I have to!” Vijay uttered, tears dripping down his cheek. “Moti I don’t know if we will meet again… If I live enough to meet you again in this life but I promise you when we meet again, I will never leave you… You will be my bride and we will escape together! I cannot lose you Moti! I will die!”
“Don’t say these!” Moti started sobbing in emotion. “I won’t let you go anymore! Tell me where were you? Where are you going?”
“I am going to a war, Moti. I promise you… I will avenge the insult of my princess there! Her brothers do not have guts to do this, but I have!”
“What?” Moti were confused.
“Yeah! Then… then what will happen I don’t know Moti!” Vijay looked broken. “Everything I have known from childhood, everything I have believed since I have been employed as a soldier, is crushing with the new set of thoughts. Kunwarsa is doing something big… too big to be understood by me! I had never ever thought I will ever have to fought against my own soil…” He suddenly chocked in tears and leaned on Moti, releasing himself. “Don’t hate me for it, Moti… Just know, I love you more than everything of this world!”
“But… what are you going to do? What do you mean by Kunwarsa…” Moti could not breath. “Vijay, if you think anything is wrong why are you doing it?”
“Because my loyalty stays with my Kunwarsa!” Vijay said adamantly. “I know in this whole palace, if anyone is able to be the king, he is only Kunwar Sujamal Singh! And till the last breath of my life I will be only loyal to him!”
“Whh…what are you going to do! Vijay, for God’s sake tell me you are not going to do anything harmful!”
“No..no!” Vijay shook his head. “Everything will be alright. After this is over, everything will be alright… All will be normal like before… Rajkunwari-sa will not like a prisoner anymore, and we will be together… I believe it!”
“No Vijay, you are scared!” Moti touched his cheek. “For God’s sake, come with me… let’s go home, have a talk…”
“I can’t go. I am hiding… I was not supposed to come to Amer now.” Vijay said. “Listen to me, you will tell none about me. Do you understand? And…” He cupped Moti’s face. “I will come to you after some days, at the middle of night… If anything goes wrong, and I cannot come to you with head high in daylight, then I will come at night and take you with me. I will never let our love to be lost in this family chaos of the kings!”
Moti was almost numb. Still she managed to utter some words… “Are you people planning to attack Amer? Kunwarsa is going to attack his own motherland?”
“Because it is the war of his honour!” Vijay said desperately. “I tell you, everything will be alright!”
“It can never!” Moti shouted! “Vijay, this family feud will destroy Amer! You don’t remember Mahabharat?”
“Who are you and me to stop it? We only can save ourselves…” Vijay said. “Promise me, whatever happens, you won’t refuse to come with me! I will die without you, Moti!” He pleaded.
“A war with Amer… I… I…” Moti looked extremely scared. “I can’t stay quiet, Vijay. I cannot be a traitor to my own land!”
“I was not supposed to come and tell you these… but still I did.” Vijay said in desperation. “My loyalty rests on Kunwar Sujamal… Your loyalty rests on Kunwar Bhagwant Das… Still I could not hide from you! Because I believe you! I believe you will respect my faithfulness to him, and you will tell nothing to nobody! Please, in the name of our love, Moti! Please!”
“And what about my loyalty?” Moti cried out. “How would I meet my eyes with Kunwarisa if anything happens to her brother?”
“Nothing will happen! I believe in my Kunwar.” Though Vijay’s voice had no confidence, he implied it forcefully. “Just… after all these, I only feared you will start hate me… I could not see your hatred for me… so I told you the truth before all. My oath for my master, my loyalty, my trustworthiness, my truth, everything is with you now… I am leaving all of these to you! You have the responsibility of protecting them! Protect them Moti… Don’t prove me as a traitor!”
“By proving myself as a traitor to my land? I am supposed to protect your truth by crushing my own sense of loyalty?” Moti cried. “Why you came back, Vijay? Why you told me the truth?”
“Because I love you! I can’t lose you! I want you to be ready…” Vijay pulled her in an embrace and kissed on her lips suddenly. The first kiss of her life, but Moti was too shocked to reciprocate! “Don’t hate me Moti! Don’t hate me! Wait for me!” Vijay uttered before disappearing in his horse. Moti stared at his path… the base of her existence was crushing!
Edited by Shinning_Stuti - 6 years ago
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